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Bro Gary Hawkins 16: In BetWeen


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12 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

So much to read, so much to figure out. I think my favorite part is "If my people first you have to be HIS people Which are called by MY name" - I'd go on, but it might be too long for a cross stitch project.

 

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I guess, in Gary's mind, he could be risking his life for his religion since he equates mask-avoidance with trusting God (and Trump) to protect him.  However, I just don't think Gary would be up for dying for religious rights.  He avoids real work and even yells for people to bring him a water bottle so he won't have to walk about 6 steps.  I don't see him offering himself up as a sacrifice.  As much as he's in a hurry to eat Chah-nese in Heaven, I doubt he's be thrilled about being burned at the stake or beheaded.

Typical Gary.  He's just a bullshit artist.  He just happens to use his religion to mask it.  If a war started, Gary would be in a truck heading away from the battle.

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OK, I'm not eating, I'm feeling strong . . . I'm going to listen to the rest of Pastor Racist Who's Been in a Cave for 50 Years' book commercial - er, message. I'm imagining you all chanting "tho

NB: I scrolled back to the top of this post before submitting, to add this note - this one is not funny. It is sad and could be triggering to some. Still Thursday morning at the camp meeting (the

Thank you! Just know that I've been lurking and enjoying everyone's commentary, and making sure that in my daily life I use the phrases "weens," "the Walmarts" and "OK folks." And I am proud to share

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Two thoughts, first kind of gross so in spoiler for those who don't like blood.

Spoiler

The whole "washed in the blood of the Lamb" , or "blood washed child" makes me think they should be doing baptisms in literal blood. I kind of feel there would be scope for this within this batshit subculture - a church whose selling point is literal blood baptisms (from local abbatoir, with a lot of cleaning required.) The holier-than-thou mob would be lining up to get their photos on FB I'm sure. 

Secondly Gary would know all about being too cowardly to stand up for religious rights. Mr "I waited till I'd left the state before making a phone call" himself.

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thoughtful

@Ozlsn , I bet they'd love your baptism idea if someone created a substance that looked red in the baptismal font, but didn't stain clothing or skin. Whoever came up with disappearing ink should be working on that!

https://www.amazon.com/Morris-KA38-Disappearing-Ink/dp/B0006GK152?th=1

 

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Four is Enough

So what I got from that is if we don't have Gary's face or act like Gary, we won't get to God?

 

I'll take my chances..

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thoughtful
2 hours ago, Xan said:

 I guess, in Gary's mind, he could be risking his life for his religion since he equates mask-avoidance with trusting God (and Trump) to protect him.  However, I just don't think Gary would be up for dying for religious rights.  He avoids real work and even yells for people to bring him a water bottle so he won't have to walk about 6 steps.  I don't see him offering himself up as a sacrifice.  As much as he's in a hurry to eat Chah-nese in Heaven, I doubt he's be thrilled about being burned at the stake or beheaded.

But . . . but . . . @Xan, he's told us over and over that he is headed for the electric chair! Don't you believe him?

He knows - Cooper is coming to get him (after using the women's bathroom, no doubt) any minute!

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AmazonGrace
10 hours ago, thoughtful said:

So much to read, so much to figure out. I think my favorite part is "If my people first you have to be HIS people Which are called by MY name" - I'd go on, but it might be too long for a cross stitch project.

 

image.png.36f3be5d9660abed215a67fab3bbe2b7.png

Go home Gary you're drunk.

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thoughtful

Sunday morning service at Library - er, Liberty Baptist in Miamisburg, OH starts with He Keeps Me Singing, one of the more college-fight-song/pop-tune-of-1910 sounding hymns. The song-leader doesn't do anything vaguely about the beat, just sort of gestures and flings his arms around now and then. He and the pastor are a contrast in height (I'm not mocking - we have a lot of pairs like this - married couples and even siblings, in my family. Arranging the 4'11'' people with the 6'4'' people for a picture is always an adventure).

Spoiler

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A small group comes up to do a special. They sing a song with these words: "This is the Christmas story; though Mary's child by birth, He is the King of Glory, the Son of God on earth." The only thing google found was someone else trying to find out what it is!

The pastor scornfully says most people don't know what Christmas is about - they think it's just a day off work.  Gary amens. I roll my eyes.

The pastor makes announcements, including reading a letter from something they are supporting, called Mercy Mountain Girls Home and Academy. They are moving from, I think, Virginia, to North Carolina. The letter said they enrolled a 13-year-old, who accepted Jesus as her savior, and goes on to talk about people who gave money, and asks for their continued prayers and support.

I couldn't find much, other than an empty Facebook page, another church that supports them, and some videos of girls singing in churches, about this facility. One site that appears to be a list of defunct programs says it may have originally been the Farmer Christian Academy.

So I have no idea if it is truly awful and abusive, or just indoctrination as usual, but ick.

They sing Happy Birthday to various people, then sing I Never Will Cease to Love Him and Jesus is All the World to Me. I think their pianist wants to be a soloist - his playing is extra.

The Hawkinses come up, and so the spoiler is needed.

Spoiler

How many are glad to be in church/I thought this was a Baptist church (he stops there, rather than doing the second one - not sure if it was his decision, or because Becky started playing the piano). The Lord is coming any day now. "Verses" for "verse," and usually at the last possible split second before he starts reading (why, Gary? Do you want it to be hard for people to find where you are?). We're in perlis tahms. They're tryin' to close the church down. The governor will be on Jesus's shoulder. Ah woke up this mornin', Jesus is still on the throne. He ain't poppin' no pills. We're soon gettin' outta here. Church is issintial. The closer to the comin' of the Lord, the less people want to have church.  People don't have fun in church because they don't have the love they used to have (this comes right after the "joke" about whupping, BTW). Am ah makin' sense this mornin'? Worshed in the blood of Jesus (so many times I lost count). Julah 11,1999. Jesus shed his blood, it wasn't poured out, it didn't drop out, and He picked it up and took to the right hand throne of Grace. Jesus put our sins as far as the east is from the west, and He don't even remember 'em no more. Old rugged cross. The Rapture is the next big event. Even so, come Lord Jesus. Gary doesn't claim to be the greatest preacher in the world. He's gotten to preach throughout the pandemic by the grace of Jesus. God/Jesus supplies every need - if you went a day without food, He decided you didn't need food that day. If you had income during the pandemic, it came from the promises of God. Gary was enjoying his warm covers this morning. Some people woke up without covers - "well some people make choices they shouldn't make." If God threw Gary in the lake of fahhr, he would deserve that. America deserves Joe Bahden. Julah 11, 1999, Open Door Baptist Church, Marion, South Carolina, on Sandhill Road, Jesus Chrast passed bah and gave Gary his very last chance. Good preachin' if ah am doin' it, HAYMUN! Our forefathers dahd for our religious rahts, ah hope ah do that with the help of the Lord. The story about the kids who got to the bathroom before he did at some event in White Plains, and the little girl who insisted that God cares about dogs. You want the blessings of God, you do what God says. There are people going to Hell. Gary hasn't quit passing out tracts. Amana tell you somethin'. Gary doesn't want to make a name for himself, he wants to make a name for Jesus. God appreciates everything you do for the church, including cleaning it. He tells the story of his daughter, calling from her bedroom one night, to ask about having gold to throw at Jesus instead of ashes. Wood burns up and becomes ashes, but go out and tell people about Jesus. If if they don't listen, you get paid someday by Jesus, so you'll have crowns to throw at His feet. Jesus lets us do things, then gives us the credit. What a God. He ain't lookin' for a bunch of robots, He's lookin' for obedient people. Gary wants to step on streets of gold and hear "Well done, thy good and faithful servant." Gary hasn't seen very many people get saved this year, but he's seen some - "what if ah had stayed home?" He thinks staying 10 feet away would be better than six feet, but he's not making fun of the vahris, he knows it's a real vahris, but it ain't the first vahris that ever come out. The couple he knew from New MIxico who died don't care if it says Covid on their death certificate, 'cause they're shoutin' it out raht now." Gary's going to have a new body when he gets to Heaven. He has victory in Jesus. He's boastin' on Jesus, not himself. God said to turn from your wicked ways. Be ye holy, but not holier than thou. Take yer halo off, ya ain't as good as ya think ya are. Men should love their wives, women should obey their husbands. Sarah called Abraham "Lord" - Gary's still trying to get Becky to do that hahah. We got this thing goin' on called Black Lahves Matter. Lemme just tell you that, according to Jesus Chrast, according to the King James Bahble, all lives matter.If you listen to the news and people at work, you'll stay depressed. If you stay in the prayer closet and come to church faithfully . . . he never finishes that sentence.

They sing I'm Standing on the Solid Rock, and groan The Sun's Coming Up in the Morning. Then Gary comes up to preach.

Spoiler

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https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+16%3A18-20&version=KJV

Gary tells us that you can get a big crowd in church if you feed people. Even Jesus didn't have a big crowd when he was just preaching - only when He fed people.

Gary says the church will be OK, even if people only watch online, because "we know what the church issssssss." So why have you been carrying on about needing to be in the church live and in person for nine months, shithead?

He starts to announce his theme, and this is what comes out: "Ah wrote down a few things this morning on how to know you can look in Romans chapter five real quick-like an'  keep your Bahble open, because what God's got to say is a whole lot more important than what ah've got to say."

So we never hear his theme, but I'm pretty sure this one is The Church Will Prevail.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+5%3A8&version=KJV

We know God loves us, because He lets us move around, and He hasn't killed us yet.

God will chastise you if you do wrong, but, the more you do right, "the more He blessesssss."

While talking about how God "whups" us, Gary says that sometimes "Ah come up with excuses to whup mah children, amen."

This little bit of filthy violent "humor" gets a chuckle from some men. 😡

But, of course, Gary says that God doesn't do that - He wants us to be obedient so He can just bless us and not have to punish us.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts+20%3A28&version=KJV

Read with several errors.

People give blood, but it can only help someone for a few weeks. "Your blood is incorruptible . . . is that right?" Someone says "Corruptible." Gary repeats it, then tells us "Mah blood is really no good." The only time he gives blood away is when he's working on his vehicle.

He jokes that he told his mother "if it didn't take very long and there wasn't a lot of pain in it, ah'd give her one of mah kidneys, 'slong as she'd take keer of it."

This gets some nervous chuckles. Again, men.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ephesians+3%3A20-21&version=KJV

He manages to make several errors even in this short passage.

Gary admits that Christmas was originally a pagan holiday. But, if he's going to celebrate his own birthday, he's certainly going to celebrate Jesus' birthday, even if the choice of December was wrong.

The latest installment in the truck mystery, delivered with Gary's usual defensiveness: "At least ah had a Dodge van to git me here today, and if you don't lahk Dodges, leave me alone amen."

So, he drove to Ohio in a Dodge van - borrowed or grifted, temporary or permanent, we don't know yet.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+14%3A16&version=KJV

Gary says he gets to "brag on" his children "'bout every 7-8 years." :roll: But God likes to brag on His children.

"The Lord will comfort you, so you can finish your raccccccce."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+15%3A58&version=KJV

He leaves off the last three words.

"Mah daddy 'n'em have woods for heatin' whatever, and when ah'm around, ah trah to help what little bit ah can whatever, 'n' ah put one in there mah hair got messed up, ah seen some of it amen, them mah boy thought ah looked so good he decided that he was gonna do it. Ah told him the wood went insahd the stove, not his head."

The "vahris" is "the only thing that's lasted this long that Chahna's ever made, amen." This gets laughs.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+15%3A57&version=KJV

Gary may get cancer, or get Covid (he repeats this later, and adds that he might die of a car accident), but he has victory in Jesus.

"Ah korintine wherever ah go."

"Ah may be standin' in a church buildin' raht outside of Daytona - Dayton, whatever you're, whatever this place is - ah may be raht here physically, but amana be honest with ya, ah'm, it's already, ah already got mah clothes picked out, mah mansion's already there waitin' for me" and he goes on about the street of gold, etc.

Gary has a Heaven wardrobe all picked out! Bet it's a dress  shirt (that somehow or other, Becky will still have to iron), too-long tie with cheesy religious images, pants, belt and cowboy boots!

It would be a whole lot easier if Jesus came today, so Gary wouldn't have to drive seven hours tomorrow.

"Ya say 'Ah'd lahk for mah preacher one tahm to git up where we kin preach, and and and hang from chandelore!' Ah'll tell ya how to do that - become holy."

That is not a typo - the best spelling I could come up with for what he said was "chandelore." Not that the sentence would have made any sense if he'd said "chandelier."

Hey, Gary reads the last Bible verse perfectly! I bet you Bible scholars know why.

Spoiler

That's right, it's John 11:35, the shortest verse in the Bible: Jesus wept.

Although I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd stumbled over something, somehow.

Jesus is weeping over the unsaved, so do something about it. "Ah unnerstand you cain't push somethin' down people's throats, amen, but ah can tell you what you can do - you can pray for 'em."

Gary prays, comes back to his pew, sucks his teeth and fusses loudly with his stuff while the pastor makes the altar call.

Edited by thoughtful
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58 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Sunday morning service at Library - er, Liberty Baptist in Miamisburg, OH starts with He Keeps Me Singing, one of the more college-fight-song/pop-tune-of-1910 sounding hymns...

 

 We know God loves us, because He lets us move around, and He hasn't killed us yet.  

Nice deity you have there, Gar.  He hasn't outright killed you yet...

While talking about how God "whups" us, Gary says that sometimes "Ah come up with excuses to whup mah children, amen."

This little bit of filthy violent "humor" gets a chuckle from some men. 😡

This is just beyond the pale.  He shouldn't be able to joke about child abuse -- and in a church, of all places.  Who does he think he is?  Michael Pearl?

He jokes that he told his mother "if it didn't take very long and there wasn't a lot of pain in it, ah'd give her one of mah kidneys, 'slong as she'd take keer of it."

This gets some nervous chuckles. Again, men.

Did he even seriously consider getting tissue typed or is he trying to pretend that he'd save his own mother if he could??

The latest installment in the truck mystery, delivered with Gary's usual defensiveness: "At least ah had a Dodge van to git me here today, and if you don't lahk Dodges, leave me alone amen."

So, he drove to Ohio in a Dodge van - borrowed or grifted, temporary or permanent, we don't know yet.

Gary is such an offensive little shit that this makes me happy.  He's driving around in a van instead of his beloved truck.  I only hope that it's old and has no connection for his phone.

"Ah korintine wherever ah go."

Nope.  No, you don't.

"Ah may be standin' in a church buildin' raht outside of Daytona - Dayton, whatever you're, whatever this place is - ah may be raht here physically, but amana be honest with ya, ah'm, it's already, ah already got mah clothes picked out, mah mansion's already there waitin' for me" and he goes on about the street of gold, etc.

I wonder what Gary would say if someone told him that there was no mansion waiting for him.  Maybe just a double-wide on a small patch of land.  Does he really think he's so good that he'll be living better than everyone else in Heaven?  I wonder how the rest of it plays out in his mind.  Does he think he'll be sitting in a leather recliner watching a 60 inch television and eating Chinese all day?  Would he be ranting all over the country about "a Hell to shun" if he didn't think there was a big reward involved?  

Edited by Xan
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thoughtful
9 minutes ago, Xan said:

Did he even seriously consider getting tissue typed or is he trying to pretend that he'd save his own mother if he could??

It sounded to me like he meant it completely as a joke.

11 minutes ago, Xan said:

"Ah korintine wherever ah go."

Nope.  No, you don't.

I can never quite tell if this is part of Gary's "hahaha, people annoy me so I want to stay away from them and read the Bible" attempt at humor, or if he really thinks that traveling all over, then staying in one house or hotel room with just his wife and son(s) for a few hours, before going out to run errands, is "quarantine."

 

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Dana723
4 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Julah 11, 1999

I feel like I know this date better than my own birthdate.

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AmazonGrace
5 hours ago, thoughtful said:

It sounded to me like he meant it completely as a joke.

I can never quite tell if this is part of Gary's "hahaha, people annoy me so I want to stay away from them and read the Bible" attempt at humor, or if he really thinks that traveling all over, then staying in one house or hotel room with just his wife and son(s) for a few hours, before going out to run errands, is "quarantine."

 

I think he means he's been slightly inconvenienced because other people are taking  precautions.

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thoughtful
8 hours ago, Dana723 said:

I feel like I know this date better than my own birthdate.

I can now rattle off, or type out, the whole thing by memory - July 11, 1999, Open Door Baptist Church, Marion South Carolina, Sandhill Road.

It's a shame I can't find a picture of the inside of the doors, so we can really visualize where Gary saw himself writhing in the lake of fire.

https://www.facebook.com/opendooribc/

 

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thoughtful

Gary demonstrates his grasp of past and present tense.

image.png.7208370017573a52e23592b591e51095.png

Let's look at that Sunday evening service, shall we?

As the Hawkinses come to the piano, the pastor is asking the congregation to buy something - a booklet, it sounds like. He says the person who put it together is going to say to pay whatever you want to contribute, but the pastor says it should be "five buck or better," because the laborer is worthy of his hire.

The Hawkinses sing It's About the Cross, then Gary comes up to preach. Through much of his message, we can hear the sounds of kids outdoors or in another room, loudly having fun.

Spoiler

How many is glad to be in church/'bout half of ya again. Pastor told him he could preach until midnight (someone answers "It's midnight somewhere else" and Gary laughs). Thank yous to the church for food, fellowship and  the nice room to stay in. Gary don't wear the mask. Walmarts. Gary doesn't want to hear gory stuff - he's polite to the pastor, who had funeral home stories, but when his wife the former nurse starts telling him things, he just tells her to shut up.  People who don't go to church watch to see if your car is in the church parking lot for every service. Gary's not looking for the undertaker, he's looking for the uppertaker. The guy who followed him around at the funeral parlor. Gary's enemies are going to come to his funeral just to poke at him and make sure he's dead. When Gary told Becky he wanted to take all seven children and go on the road, she told him he was in the wrong prayer closet. Abraham's wife was better - she didn't even need to be told where they were going. Gary has a burden for America. America is a mission field, in need of Jesus. The Bible Belt isn't the Bible Belt any more, it the Religious Belt. There's lots of Baptist churches in Mt. Airy (he makes sure they know that's "Mayberry" and Winston-Salem (I thought his point would be that none of them are doing right, and they need Jesus, but he just trails off). Mustard seed. In the part of. His diet. "Verses" for "verse." Am ah making sense tonight? Brother Mike Stout  - now Gary says he is bound to a wheelchair and bound to a bed. Sammy Allen was a prayer warrior. Becky's being late all the time is God keeping Gary out of car accidents. Old-tahhm preachers. Jesus preached more about Hell than Heaven. Gary likes what he's heard about Heaven. People stopped prayin' when Trump got in, because they were so happy and thought they didn't need God as long as they had Trump. Now all of a sudden we're in a big mess and they want to pray. The KJV is written at a 5th-9th grade level, but the NIV is on or over a college education (I assume he means level). They put "blood" down in "the little concordance part."  If you don't know nothin', just shut up and sit down. Gary won't preach you into Heaven at your funeral if you haven't lived it. Ya ought to look right, smell right, spit white. Gary's flesh doesn't like Proverbs.

Gary tells them that missions started in Genesis, when God came down in the cool of the day. He didn't come when it was too hot, and he didn't come when it was too cold. This gets a laugh.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+2%3A1-20&version=KJV

Can't get much more familiar than that, but Gary still stumbles all over his tongue. Here are a few of the many errors:

KJV: And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus
Bro Gary Version: And it came to pass in those days, there went out a degree from Caesar Augustus

Was it an Ed.D. degree, like Dr. Jill Biden has?

KJV: And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.
BGV: And this taxin' worse - was first made when See- Seerenus was governor of Seerum

"But you look at this and here it is that Mary and Joseph uh was engaged. And you see that, no doubt, that uh - engagements, you know, you gon' git married, you want somebody to come to it amen? Ah still - ah fee - ah unnerstand the part of the weddin' thing, ah still haven't figgered out why you, after you git married, you go do that little deer - dinner thing, whatever, but whatever, that's neither here nor there but whatever, but, no doubt, people had known that Mary here was is engaged to Joseph, then all of a sudden  . . . she was with chahld."

Gary says that if he found out his wife or a woman he was with was carrying another man's child, he'd "just go on down the road, amen?"

Later he says he'd be talking bad about her, because he's got more "flesh" than Joseph.

"With the help of the Lord, just for a few minutes, awana preach on Bein' the Talk o' the Town."

"What does people think aboutchu? What does people say aboutchu?"

Nothing, Gary - I'm not famous enough to be in People Magazine.

Gary wants to know what people would say about the members of the congregation in "ah'm gonna say Dayton, Ohio, because ah cain't pronounce where you're at amen, an' you gotta be very keerful with people because they get very sensitive about their little cities 'n' towns 'n' villages 'n' al them things, ah mean."

Gary, really? You can't sound out Miamisburg? Not to mention that you are mocking them in ways that are worse then mispronouncing the town name.

In talking about first impressions, Gary tells a story about someone in Texas who, at first, thought he was "the _________" (sounds like boag, boge? bogue? Long o, hard g. If anybody wants to figure it out, it's at about 16:05). He waits after saying this, hand to his ear, as if expecting a laugh. There's some polite chuckling, but I don't think any of them understood it either.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=genesis+12%3A1-4&version=KJV

Abraham "was a faithful man. And not only was he a faithful man, he had faith."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=genesis+5%3A21-24&version=KJV

"And amana be honest with ya, ah lahk it when I kin really really and seerlessly know that hey ah kin feel the presence of God."

Seerlessly? A portmanteau of fearlessly and seriously? Gary wants to be with God without a prognosticator present? Maye it's "searlessly" - Gary doesn't want to burn, after all. :confusion-shrug:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=genesis+22%3A11-12&version=KJV

"Now, whenever ya go to talkin' about fearin' God - ah'm not talkin' about being skeered to death o' God - this is a fear of havin' reverence amen?"

Glad you cleared that up, Gary.

Gary's never been to Chahna, but "they must have real Chahnese over there." But he's been eating "so-called Chahnese" for so long he'd probably not like the real stuff.

In case you are confused, or think Gary is a cannibal, he means Chinese food. Someone calls out that the real stuff is better, and Gary acknowledges that it probably is. Wow, what a sophisticate. He makes no point - I think this was supposed to lead up to something about the courage of people going on a mission to a foreign country, but he never gets there. :confusion-shrug:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Samuel+17%3A45&version=KJV

KJV: Then said David to the Philistine, Thou comest to me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a shield: but I come to thee in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom thou hast defied.
BGV: Then said David to the Philistine, Thou cometh to me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a shield: but  I come to you -  I come to thee in the name of the Lord Jesus - of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Isril, whom thou hath defiled.

Oh, that Goliath, defiling the armies again. Guys, size really doesn't count. Motion of the ocean and all that.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=james+5%3A16&version=KJV

Sammy Allen prayed "fevird" prayers.

Gary just found out that someone "has the parkins disease," and his "altimers" is getting worse, too.

There's lots to pray for - the hospitals are getting full up, the pastor (who also works at a funeral home) had 106 people in there at one time.

Gee, Gary, wonder how that happened? :angry-banghead:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+timothy+2%3A15&version=KJV

KJV: Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
BGV: Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of God.

"Not only do we need some prayer warriors, we need to subdivide 'em."

:shock: Gary, shouldn't you have read 1 Kings 3:16-28, if you're going to talk about subdividing people?

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=phillipians+1%3A27&version=KJV

Gary has to live his faith, because "ah got a 13-year-old that knows everything." We hear Becky quietly say "yes, he does."  To me, it sounds affectionate, not snarky like Gary, but who knows. Gary has to ask Jacob when his birthday was.

We get this much about the poor beloved truck: "Ah don't have a vehicle becowse somethin' happened to it, ah don't wanna talk about about it, ah'm still upset about it, ah'm still hurt about it, and one of these  days ah'll get over it."

 

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In talking about first impressions, Gary tells a story about someone in Texas who, at first, thought he was "the _________" (sounds like boag, boge? bogue? Long o, hard g. If anybody wants to figure it out, it's at about 16:05). He waits after saying this, hand to his ear, as if expecting a laugh. There's some polite chuckling, but I don't think any of them understood it either.

I couldn't figure it out either, @thoughtful.  I thought initially that he was going for "bum" but it didn't sound much like that either.  

I did listen to the end just to hear Gary's sorrow over the truck.  I do hope he breaks down and tells us soon.  I wondered if, since the older son had his arm in a sling for a bit, there had been a wreck.  It must have either been totaled or else he had inadequate insurance on the truck to get it repaired.  And, if there had been a wreck, you'd think he would just be grateful that no one was killed instead of being "hurt" about it.  Is it possible that it got repossessed?  I do think someone else helped him buy it.  Was the man unable to pay back the loan?  That makes the "hurt" and "upset" part more reasonable.  (I might not have a truck but I've got a pretty good speculation bus.)

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EyesOpen

I’m not listening, just a speculatin’ a bore , a boar, bogus, a booger.... a boob, a stoog an uneducated baffoon... 

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thoughtful
10 hours ago, Xan said:

I wondered if, since the older son had his arm in a sling for a bit, there had been a wreck.  It must have either been totaled or else he had inadequate insurance on the truck to get it repaired.  And, if there had been a wreck, you'd think he would just be grateful that no one was killed instead of being "hurt" about it.

I also figured there was some connection to Caleb's boo-boo. My first thought was that Gary had crashed with Caleb as a passenger. But, since Gary sounds resentful and nobody else has injuries, maybe Caleb was driving it and was alone.

5 hours ago, EyesOpen said:

I’m not listening, just a speculatin’ a bore , a boar, bogus, a booger.... a boob, a stoog an uneducated baffoon... 

:laughing-rollingyellow:

Yes, Gary is all of those. But this was clearly a "b" sound, then a long "o" then a hard "g."

I just figured it was some slang I'd never heard due to geography or Gary's mimicking old sermons or both - the Ohoians didn't seem to recognize it either. But I really didn't find anything, other than a reference to shortening "bogus" in the 1970s (I'd never heard that before, and I was a teen in the 1970s). But that still would have been an adjective, not a noun.

Then again, Gary was on a mispronouncing spree on Sunday. I wonder if sounds just get stuck in his head and mashed up into other words. When he said "chandelore" for chandelier (a word he has pronounced correctly in the past), it made me think somebody in the family has been watching the Mandalorian and discussed it near him, and his brain made a mandalor-chandelor linguistic monster.

Not to mention "serum" for "Syria" - the result of listening to anti-vax bullshit?

"Fevrid" for "fervid" comes from his misreading the word in the past, IIRC.

And most of the rest were classic Gary. "Parkins disease" is new, I think.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, there's good news this morning - the LORD is on the Throne, and Jesus is still allowing Gary to move:

image.png.e2c61ee0c30cde9e29d0ced90e9baae8.png

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thoughtful
4 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

Bogart?

 

498477202_ClaudeRainsshocked.jpg.7bda9db7a398998ea8526d215eaf4aea.jpg

 . . . that you would say such a thing!   😁

Maybe the guy in Texas thought Gary wouldn't share a joint? Hmmm . . . the rest of that story was that he accepted Gary after he found out what a good cook Becky is (really, it was!).

Could be . . .

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AmazonGrace

I don't think I'm saved, and I was able to get up and get out this morning. What am I missing?

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thoughtful
1 hour ago, AmazonGrace said:

I don't think I'm saved, and I was able to get up and get out this morning. What am I missing?

Gary would say that it is Jesus enabling us to do these things, and we ingrates just don't give Him credit.

Also, you are supposed to be trying to look like CHRIST. I know I've exclaimed His name when seeing myself in the mirror, but recognition was not the reason.

Get the in and out right? I think Gary is craving burgers.

And both Matter in learning others CHRIST.

image.png.b3217a62f4ad1f5fcdc85f1796f7d7a3.png

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Dana723
6 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Oh, and in case you were wondering, there's good news this morning - the LORD is on the Throne, and Jesus is still allowing Gary to move:

 

Usually he says the Lord is on the Throne and Trump is still President.  You don't reckon he's accepted it, has he?

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Black Aliss
On 12/13/2020 at 10:13 PM, Xan said:

Did he even seriously consider getting tissue typed or is he trying to pretend that he'd save his own mother if he could??

Oh, he would not have gone so far as to be tissue typed. Donating a kidney would hurt! If she dies, that was the Lord's will, y'know.

20 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Bro Gary Version: And it came to pass in those days, there went out a degree from Caesar Augustus

Was it an Ed.D. degree, like Dr. Jill Biden has?

More like a degree from Trump University.

20 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Later he says he'd be talking bad about her, because he's got more "flesh" than Joseph.

You can say that again!

 

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AmazonGrace
8 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary would say that it is Jesus enabling us to do these things, and we ingrates just don't give Him credit.

Also, you are supposed to be trying to look like CHRIST. I know I've exclaimed His name when seeing myself in the mirror, but recognition was not the reason.

Get the in and out right? I think Gary is craving burgers.

And both Matter in learning others CHRIST.

image.png.b3217a62f4ad1f5fcdc85f1796f7d7a3.png

Burgers must be on his mind because he just told a big whopper,,, Gary you give your opinions all the time.

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thoughtful

The Pastor has pass away and a new search for a Pastor.

Gary's ability to use language has pass away and a new search would probably be fruitless.

image.png.812e90eafeb043ca1ac09e7ed00c6820.png

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