Maxwell 44: Must We Permit Mephistopheles and Beelzebub to Perform Financial and Performance Audits

[IReallyAmHopewell]

On 12/17/2020 at 6:02 AM, freejugar said:

I'm surprised Steve didn't harrass the mailman about his hobbies and how much money he spent in them

Here's betting he never leaves him a cold Pepsi on a hot day.

[Hane]

I remember seeing my Baptist cousins being baptized, back in the ‘60s. It was on a chilly day, IIRC, the water was cold, and because no one had blow dryers in those days, they had to head home with wet hair. ?

[fundiefan]

I was baptized at 12 after a Baptist church traumatized me with videos about hell. I find it ironic that baptism was at least part of their goal in "saving" me, and I did get baptized because of them. But, in a Lutheran church, which was holy water poured on my forehead, no dunking. I even had a new dress & my mom set my hair in curlers the night before. And, of course Lutheran, not Baptist. I've never witnessed a baptism by submersion. In fact, the only baptism I've ever witnessed that wasn't of an infant was my own. And again, only because I was freaking traumatized and my mom was trying to sooth my fears. 

 

[Peaches-n-Beans]

I’m new to the maxwells so I’m sure it’s been discussed but if you go to the Amazon page for Summer With The Moodys there’s an amazingly hilarious review that’s had me in stitches for about five minutes. I can’t figure out adding a link from my tablet but it’s amazing

[SPHASH]

4 hours ago, Peaches-n-Beans said:

I’m new to the maxwells so I’m sure it’s been discussed but if you go to the Amazon page for Summer With The Moodys there’s an amazingly hilarious review that’s had me in stitches for about five minutes. I can’t figure out adding a link from my tablet but it’s amazing

Is it the one by Jonathan Q?

[sparkles]

On 12/17/2020 at 2:14 PM, ClareDeLune said:

They photoshopped a child's belly?  Goodness!  

 

Fake long pants would be brilliant ???

As they often do, they half-assed it. When it was first posted I grabbed the image and edited it on my damn phone and did a better job. But part of me thinks they did it that way on purpose to make it obvious that they’re so godly they couldn’t even let a slip of skin show on a CHILD.

Spoiler

 

Edited December 19, 2020 by sparkles

[church_of_dog]

1 hour ago, sparkles said:

As they often do, they half-assed it. When it was first posted I grabbed the image and edited it on my damn phone and did a better job. But part of me thinks they did it that way on purpose to make it obvious that they’re so godly they couldn’t even let a slip of skin show on a CHILD.

  Hide contents

 

I'm still waiting for

Edited December 19, 2020 by church_of_dog

[smittykins]

17 hours ago, Hane said:

I remember seeing my Baptist cousins being baptized, back in the ‘60s. It was on a chilly day, IIRC, the water was cold, and because no one had blow dryers in those days, they had to head home with wet hair. ?

I forgot to bring a towel and change of clothes, so I had to go home in my wet ones. ? 

[CyborgKin]

Quote

Frankly, we don’t remember seeing him grumpy or heard him complain.

Did Sarah never learn how verb tenses work?

[Maggie Mae]

I can't find the baptism post. 

When I worked the front desk, I got to know mailmen very well. Consistent, cheerful, friendly. Super weird when you run into them outside of the office and feel very confused. Kind of like when you run into a teacher or a librarian outside of a classroom or library. Like "wait why does this person seem so familiar?"  

I've never spoken to my home mail person. They don't deliver on any sort of schedule, and my guess is that people around here don't want the residential routes. I'm pretty sure they change way more often then the ones who've worked in the business areas. One day they will deliver in the morning, the next day they will show up at 7 pm. I kind of hate it, because trying to hide gift deliveries and not having a clue when they will show up is not fun. Sometimes I get notified that stuff will arrive today, but instead it shows up the next morning at 6 a.m. It's weird. I still think the USPS is a thousand times better than UPS or FedEx though, who have literally delivered signature required deliveries to the wrong person, and are never on time. Plus UPS and FedEx won't deliver certain items to me at all, and it's got to be way worse for the rest of my state.  

[ElizaB]

I believe the Maxwell's know there mail man fairly well because of all the books they ship. There was a picture once of Mary with a bunch of packages that were waiting for the mailman. I bet they do work closely with him as they ship so much stuff. 

[Joe Pukepail]

On 12/16/2020 at 7:03 AM, LilMissMetaphor said:

It's because her face is shaped like a balloon or a potato, then Mary squished in all her tiny features and Nurie's sperm eyebrows on that massive face.  Add in some electric-shock hair and you have nightmares for days.

 

I figured it out! Her human faces all look like Eric Stoltz playing Rocky Dennis in Mask.

[PennySycamore]

My mom was the first woman letter carrier in our town.  After she became a letter carrier, her older sister, Frances, became one as well. They both had routes that required a lot of walking.  After my mom suffered burns on her legs, they moved her into a clerical position and she served as postmistress  to three separate post offices.  One of her brothers was a postmaster, another was a clerk, a nephew (Francis' son) worked for the post offce until he retired and my daughter worked at the Clemson University post office.  We've got postal work in our blood.  I'm glad the Stevehovah expressed appreciation for his letter carrier, but I hope he also knows that it's a demanding job.

ETA:  Most Baptist churches I've seen have a glass wall only halfway up.  That one where the glass goes all the way up looks weird.  There is a country church near my parents' old house that had a big baptismal pool out back of the church.  We always used to wish that they'd fill it up in the summer and let us kids play in it.  I did see a river baptism in the now-inundated Jocassee River once  I can guaran-damn-tee you that that water was cold!  If a kid is so little that she needs to be held in her dad's arms, then she's too little to be baptized by immersion.  I mean, how is that different from infant baptism?

Edited December 20, 2020 by PennySycamore

[Ozlsn]

On 12/15/2020 at 2:07 PM, church_of_dog said:

Also, a slight rant about caroling.  I know lots of people like doing it and lots like being sung to.  But -- I had a group come caroling once.  It was VERY cold and also slushy out.  Because I didn't know they were coming, I answered the door in my stocking feet.  And because it was slushy out, I couldn't step out onto the wet porch, so I had to stand there in the doorway letting the cold air into my house, for two songs worth of time.  These were my neighbors and I didn't want to be rude, plus it was nice to hear and watch.  It just seems like there must be a better way.  Like even just advertising what evening they'll be going around, so folks can have their shoes and coat ready so they can step outside and close the door behind them while they listen.  /grinch

We usually have carols by candlelight, which are community events where you turn up to a park with a picnic blanket, buy a real (or some years battery operated - fire bans) candle from Rotary, get a songbook, and then alternate singing along to (usually) the local brass band with listening to solos and school choirs. Sometimes the soloists and choirs lead the carol. There are ginormous ones which are televised in Sydney and Melbourne, but they're a bit too show-oriented (soapie stars singing solos etc) so I tend to go to the local one - also because the kids can go nuts on the play equipment if they lose interest.

All virtual without crowds this year, and I am sad. More so because even the televised one will have no crowd - but bloody Eddie McGuire is hosting. Bah humbug, meh.

On 12/17/2020 at 6:55 AM, Lady Grass Lake said:

I had a co-worker who had to challenge a pre-employment drug test, to get his job.  He interviewed well, had great experience and references, but failed the drug screening.  This guy was absolutely clean, he didn't even drink caffeine.   He did some research on false positives, and presented his case to our department head and HR.  Department head was quite disappointed because they really wanted to hire this guy.  My co-worker offered to pay out of pocket for another test, and for the more expensive blood tests, not just the saliva testing done before.  He passed with flying colors.  He asked for,  and got in writing on the testing lab's letterhead, a statement that they acknowledged the incorrect test results.  He got several copies of the letter, one went into his HR files, the other was kept in his own personal papers just in case.   He also managed  to get the company to change their policy of never allowing a second test, to re-consider actions on a one by one basis.    

I have never been required to have a drug test for any role I have worked in (ranges from checkout cashier to parcel sorting to fruit picking to various academic roles). I do have to say that I am in awe of your co-worker though - standing your ground and enabling that much change is amazing.

[LurkerOverThePond]

You know what I find really weird? They haven't mentioned the damn Operation Christmas Child at all this year. Don't get me wrong, I HATE their repetitive OCC posts (and "Christmas in July!!!!!!!!!") with my whole being, but even in this exceptional year you might think they would post something about it, like "because of Covid we were not able to make our normal OCC boxes, but it's still important to bless unsaved kids worldwide in a way or other!"

It's like Christopher and Joe's first engagements - they never happened. Maybe we should check if they have erased anything OCC related from the blog! I'm only half-joking.

[JermajestyDuggar]

31 minutes ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

You know what I find really weird? They haven't mentioned the damn Operation Christmas Child at all this year. Don't get me wrong, I HATE their repetitive OCC posts (and "Christmas in July!!!!!!!!!") with my whole being, but even in this exceptional year you might think they would post something about it, like "because of Covid we were not able to make our normal OCC boxes, but it's still important to bless unsaved kids worldwide in a way or other!"

It's like Christopher and Joe's first engagements - they never happened. Maybe we should check if they have erased anything OCC related from the blog! I'm only half-joking.

Now that you’ve said it, they will post! Nooo!!! You’ve doomed us all to yet another boring OCC post!!!

[Bethy]

They did go pack for Feed My Starving Children last year or the year before, and that was actually a useful and truly beneficial thing for people in need.

[Coconut Flan]

9 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

If a kid is so little that she needs to be held in her dad's arms, then she's too little to be baptized by immersion.  I mean, how is that different from infant baptism?

She can talk and parrot the correct phrases. 

[SPHASH]

1 hour ago, Bethy said:

They did go pack for Feed My Starving Children last year or the year before, and that was actually a useful and truly beneficial thing for people in need.

And Teri bitched about the music being played over the speakers so I doubt they will do that again.  It was Chris and his kids.

 

[Jana814]

45 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

And Teri bitched about the music being played over the speakers so I doubt they will do that again.

 

Do you know what kind of music they played?  Was it not Christian music. 

[SPHASH]

13 minutes ago, Jana814 said:

Do you know what kind of music they played?  Was it not Christian music. 

Per Teri it was loud and not conservative 

[sparkles]

It must be absolutely exhausting to be a Maxwell and be constantly on the alert for Satan and his minions hiding in the most innocuous places, just waiting to trip them up. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

[NancyDrewFan1989]

13 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

If a kid is so little that she needs to be held in her dad's arms, then she's too little to be baptized by immersion.  I mean, how is that different from infant baptism?

The problem is most fundie children start their indoctrination the moment they are born. They are fed the whole trust in Jesus and hand your life over to him. Robert and Kendalyn Staddon did a post about their eldest daughter Sauntina accepting Christ at the age of four. Kathryn (Neely) Staddon mentioned in her courtship story that her dad would constantly ask her to trust in him and Jesus, while not fully understanding what Pa Neely was saying to her when she was a child (before and after baptism). The only difference is that the child can walk and talk compared to an infant. The Maxwell's aren't the only fundie family to have their children be baptized very young. 

[Black Aliss]

2 hours ago, SPHASH said:

2 hours ago, Jana814 said:

Do you know what kind of music they played?  Was it not Christian music. 

Per Teri it was loud and not conservative 

It's hard to imagine the organizers playing Eartha Kitt singing "Santa baby" or Mariah Carey singing "All I want for Christmas is You"! But it could have been something as satanic as "Jingle Bells" or "Frosty the Snowman" (I'm sorry, you cannot pretend a  snowman is Parson Brown! And get rid of that pipe!)

[Jana814]

1 hour ago, NancyDrewFan1989 said:

The problem is most fundie children start their indoctrination the moment they are born. They are fed the whole trust in Jesus and hand your life over to him. Robert and Kendalyn Staddon did a post about their eldest daughter Sauntina accepting Christ at the age of four. Kathryn (Neely) Staddon mentioned in her courtship story that her dad would constantly ask her to trust in him and Jesus, while not fully understanding what Pa Neely was saying to her when she was a child (before and after baptism). The only difference is that the child can walk and talk compared to an infant. The Maxwell's aren't the only fundie family to have their children be baptized very young. 

I have this thought that Steve pressures his grandchildren to get baptized. The kids were taught to always obey their parents & grandparents so if grandpa tells them to get baptized they will. 

Edited December 20, 2020 by Jana814