Maxwell 44: Must We Permit Mephistopheles and Beelzebub to Perform Financial and Performance Audits

[Dandruff 67,679]

15 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

Is there a reason it’s called Four Point Eleven? 

Number of ounces of filling in every burrito?

[NancyDrewFan1989 5,315]

20 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

I have some ideas for a thread title. I don't know if something similar has been done, but this idea is based on one of my pet peeves with them. Steve hates television with a passion and yet their books are proudly endorsed by the Duggars.  So something like

Maxwells: Scorning Television while being Endorsed by TV Stars

Maxwells: Writing books against television for people who watch television

Maxwells: Too Good for TV, Too Obsecure Without TV Celebrity Endorsements

(These are just some ideas in case people want them.)

By television do you mean "The Beast." After all, The Beast is what the Maxwells call the television on their blog. But, I do like the idea of crazy TV titles. After all, the family probably does watch a little bit of television here and there since they endorse the Duggars. It wouldn't shock me if they've seen them, as well as, the Bates's TV shows and/or any other TV program that Steve would approve of. But, considering the isolation I get the feeling Steve does what he can to avoid any and all forms of commercials. So, any form of TV (aka The Beast) program they watch is probably rented or bought on a site like Amazon or iTunes. 

[Dru 2,123]

Being a lazy ass, thank you covid (my convenient excuse), have we addressed Gigi's tv remote?

 

ETA- I see it has. Much like Chels wearing (oh so manly) jeans, they just try to work around it. I mean, we know Gigi wears (gasp) shorts while on vacation with Teri's sister.

Edited November 14, 2020 by Dru

[kpmom 13,414]

An awful looking web site by someone looking to design web sites.  Yeah, good luck with that, Christopher.

And why, why, why are the Maxwells all so wordy?  Even if the site looked good, who would read through all of that?

 

[Cults-r-us 1,917]

1 hour ago, CyborgKin said:

My suggestion for the 'devastating circumstance': the eldest Moody daughter is rescued kidnapped by a non-binary biker witch and starts learning magic.

Then rescued by an Arndt before Ken A can get to her on his White Horse of Truth

[Dru 2,123]

1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

Is there a reason it’s called Four Point Eleven? 

Buchenwald was liberated on April 11th, but I can't imagine Christopher knows that, and even so, would name a company/website so callously. Oh, wait.

[Bluebirdbluebell 9,920]

Why does Christopher need side projects when he's part of the Swift Otter team and business is booming? Swift Otter is owned/run by his brother Joseph. His brother Jesse works there. Currently they have 5 non-family members working there. 

1 hour ago, church_of_dog said:

Okay, I know this might not be what everyone sees -- I'm on a tablet in landscape mode.  On the other hand, I'm sure lots of people use tablets in landscape mode, so I'm not an atypical potential customer in that sense.

Okay, so.  If I wanted someone to design my website -- is there anything here -- anything at all -- that might put me off just the teensiest bit from thinking this is a top notch web design guy?

 

 

Just the fact that "Optimization" isn't on one line or split by the last syllable "Optimiza-tion" says a lot. 

[church_of_dog 27,813]

1 minute ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Just the fact that "Optimization" isn't on one line or split by the last syllable "Optimiza-tion" says a lot. 

Yep that is exactly what I was referring to!

So many myriad ways to do it reasonably acceptably -- break on a syllable, make that word smaller font to fit, make everything slightly smaller font, reduce space between columns, even funky stuff like left-justify the left column, right-justify the right column, and center-justify the middle column.  Literally almost anything works better than letting one letter wrap like that.

And any other website one could say "well, they tried but it didn't fit".  But not when the whole point of the site is to promote -- website design!

[Dru 2,123]

6 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Why does Christopher need side projects when he's part of the Swift Otter team and business is booming? Swift Otter is owned/run by his brother Joseph. His brother Jesse works there. Currently they have 5 non-family members working there. 

Just the fact that "Optimization" isn't on one line or split by the last syllable "Optimiza-tion" says a lot. 

I would guess Christopher is included as a family curtesy. Joe and Jessie are very clearly the thrust of the business, as are non-family employees. I've always assumed (yeah yeah) that Steve and Chris are details.

3 minutes ago, church_of_dog said:

many myriad ways

English nerd incoming: myriad ways.

[kpmom 13,414]

I guess every family has a Fredo.

Spoiler

 

[Giraffe 24,781]

He probably named it after some Bible verse four chapters and 11 verses in that has significance to him/Steve. 
 

One possibility is Phillipians 4:11. It says to be content in all circumstances. 

Edited November 14, 2020 by Giraffe
Adding verse

[mango_fandango 38,079]

If you turn your iPad/tablet so that it’s portrait, it does look less awkward.

 

There’s definitely too much text. Blah blah blah, get to the point...

[Ana 222]

Isn't 411 what you call for directory assistence? That must be why. 

[MamaJunebug 44,976]

3 hours ago, fundiefan said:

Poor guy was given a giant ego but not giant abilities to match. 

Epitaph for his male parent, as well.

Thank you all for doing the Maxsnark. I can’t visit their blog very often. The darkness consumes me, seriously. 

[church_of_dog 27,813]

37 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

If you turn your iPad/tablet so that it’s portrait, it does look less awkward.

 

There’s definitely too much text. Blah blah blah, get to the point...

Ah, thanks for confirming!  I'm that weirdo who has my ipad set to not rotate when I change its orientation, so I hadn't checked to see but I figured that was too obvious a mistake for it to show in standard views.

1 hour ago, Dru said:

English nerd incoming: myriad ways.

Thank you!

English nerd myself, who sometimes discovers that I get embarrassingly sloppy or oblivious.

(I won't even pretend I thought I was in a JRod thread, in which case the proper phrasing would have been "many multiple myriad option choice selections".)

[Dru 2,123]

1 hour ago, church_of_dog said:

Ah, thanks for confirming!  I'm that weirdo who has my ipad set to not rotate when I change its orientation, so I hadn't checked to see but I figured that was too obvious a mistake for it to show in standard views.

Thank you!

English nerd myself, who sometimes discovers that I get embarrassingly sloppy or oblivious.

(I won't even pretend I thought I was in a JRod thread, in which case the proper phrasing would have been "many multiple myriad option choice selections".)

LOL I appreciate your graceful response. Generally I try not to respond to my weird language snags, but oddly myriad is a word I can't pass.

I promise you, if you saw my "work" wholesale you would be rolling in the aisles that I said anything.

[Black Aliss 44,370]

23 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Remember Teri taking weeks to sew a SINGLE BUTTON onto a cardigan?

ME: <glances over at Mt. Mending, which is not quite a 14-er, quietly puts down her stone>

Edited November 14, 2020 by Black Aliss

[Bluebirdbluebell 9,920]

So this week we got a post on Monday about Sarah's new book. Then we didn't get another post until Thursday and then it was a bland post about Teri cleaning windows on Thursday. Usually they post Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Next week Sarah is announcing her new book on Tuesday. I know they've been inconsistent with the schedule before, but almost every week is consistent. It seems particularly long stretch from Thursday to Tuesday. I think they'll break it up with a post this weekend. It seems likely to be another cleaning post, but for we know, Sarah is getting married. 

[FloraKitty35 13,165]

Maybe Chris is secretly a Mary J. Blige fan and What's the 411? is one his favorite albums, so he named it as a coded tribute. 

[freejugar 6,569]

I don't know how Chris makes a living to support his wife and kids (and medical bills!). He shoots one wedding a year or so, and he only has 5 websites he's done, some of them are quite old. 

[Cults-r-us 1,917]

One fine summer day, the second eldest Moody daughter meets a nice, co-dependent fellow (or girl) upon whose face she is painting a Bible at her Face Painting and Balloons for Jesus booth at the fair. He gives her a burner phone. Through stealth, scheming, window cleaning shenanigans and who knows what plot twists, she escapes the Moodys and becomes lives happily ever after as an athiestic feminist.

[Captain Obvious 5,815]

I bet it's Proverbs 4:11. Fundies love Proverbs.

https://biblehub.com/proverbs/4-11.htm

[sparkles 10,598]

12 hours ago, fundiefan said:

Four Point Eleven is "copyrighted" 2019 so he started last year. And now that I've typed the name of the company, for some reason it made me crack up. 

I just stumbled on it but he’s actually had it since at least 2017. Before I posted it I searched the Max forum and came up with a couple of posts from that year, hence my “Has this been discussed lately.” I have no idea if it’s still a viable thing. The updated copyright date might indicate it is, but that could be automatic. The Maxes do have a habit of abandoning dead ventures and just letting the websites expire, so I’m going with “the parrot is dead, not pining for the fjords” and that this is just one more entry in a long line of failed Max businesses. Not that there’s anything wrong with that—people try and fail all the time—It’s just indicative of so much that’s wrong with Maxwell. Their own inflated sense of their importance for one—why is Chris one of the first things you see? Swift Otter was guilty of this in the beginning too. Just about the first thing you saw was photos of all the Maxes and a blurb about Jesus. They learned…

A few of the things that struck me: 

1. He didn’t bother to change out the Wordpress favicon for his own.
2. “Thank you for stopping by my site.”
3. It reads more like a dating profile than a service business. I don’t need to “click,” and I don’t need that personal connection. I just want you to do your job and do it well.  Then we can go for long walks on the beach and enjoy a glass of wine grape juice by the fireside.
4. SO MANY WORDS!
5. The three websites he features are based on the exact same template.
6. His “quality” photography isn’t. It looks just as stock as the actual stock images. And there’s nothing wrong with stock; I use it all the time. Despite what he says, the average schmo ISN’T going to know it’s stock.
7. How he undermines himself. (In the SEO section. “You need this. I can do it but I’m not saying it’s gonna work…”
8. SO MANY WORDS!
9. Word salad: “While I am definitely not claiming that any site I build will rank #1 in Google – here’s the thing: small businesses, by and large, are typically competing locally against other small businesses. Competition seems stiff when it’s “you” competing, but by and large, local competition against other small businesses is generally a feasible task.“
10. And so much more, including that dangling “n” in optimization when I flip my iPad.

Just a sad, sad little site. 

[fundiefan 30,756]

51 minutes ago, Captain Obvious said:

I bet it's Proverbs 4:11. Fundies love Proverbs.

https://biblehub.com/proverbs/4-11.htm

If that's it, it's peak Christopher/Maxwell hubris. Teaching other poor businesses in the ways of wisdom. Yeah, a self taught man boy who has a wife & six kids but has never not worked for a family business & isn't what one would call professionally successful in any of his ventures. Just the person I would want to learn from!

By and large, this is definitely one of the worst attempts at saying something anyone's ever tried. 

Word salad: “While I am definitely not claiming that any site I build will rank #1 in Google – here’s the thing: small businesses, by and large, are typically competing locally against other small businesses. Competition seems stiff when it’s “you” competing, but by and large, local competition against other small businesses is generally a feasible task.“

It has been more than a decade since I've done anything resembling web development and even then, it was design focused rather than functionality. I was a graphic designer/desktop publisher once upon a life. It's funny how everything I learned in school and in practice came flooding back while looking at that site. I no longer have the skills to make it better myself, but I still have the eyes that tell me everything that is wrong with the design, layout & language. One of his biggest failures - pretty sure he perused other SEO websites & tried to implement their design (it's pretty much a standard template in information if not actual design). He can't even do that well - which is basically copying the ideas of others - because he has to make it about him.

The Maxwells all have a problem with words. They think they are very smart people and they use the written language to "prove" that - but they are all very awkward, use unnecessary words, and turn any statement into an attempt to prove their greatness. 

[PennySycamore 59,804]

@Captain Obvious,  I noticed that the only Catholic translation in that list of Proverbs 4:11 is the Douay-Rheims.  Why not the New American or Jerusalem Bible?  Fun fact: JRR Tolkien was one of the scholars that worked on the Jerusalem Bible.