Unmarried Fundies 9: Hoping for Plot Twists

[GreenBeans]

On 12/28/2020 at 5:52 PM, fundiefan said:

They're doing the trumpet thing - where there is no time given to the guests - like the Smiths did and I think some Botkins. 

Just come & sit here all day til we decide it's time. It may take an hour, it may take ten. But, do it anyway. 

Is that a thing in the US? I’ve never heard of that before.

 

[Bethella]

12 minutes ago, GreenBeans said:

Is that a thing in the US? I’ve never heard of that before.

No, it’s occasionally a thing for fundies but it’s definitely not normal. 

[fundiefan]

1 hour ago, GreenBeans said:

Is that a thing in the US? I’ve never heard of that before.

 

Nope. It's a fundie thing. The craziest of fundies because even your run of the mill fundie doesn't do it.  It's only the very special ones. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Emily Reith’s registry now says they are getting married March 5th so I guess they changed the date.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

I put this in his thread, but Nathan Bates might be engaged. He and Esther have gone public with the relationship. They post pictures where they're hugging. We can't see her hands in the photos, which may be to hide the ring. 

I could be wrong, but Nathan was trying to keep this relationship under wraps in case things went south. That he's willing to be so public now suggests that things are getting serious. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

12 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

I put this in his thread, but Nathan Bates might be engaged. He and Esther have gone public with the relationship. They post pictures where they're hugging. We can't see her hands in the photos, which may be to hide the ring. 

I could be wrong, but Nathan was trying to keep this relationship under wraps in case things went south. That he's willing to be so public now suggests that things are getting serious. 

So many people get engaged on Christmas or New Years so I would guess they probably are. I’m thinking a spring wedding. 

[usedbicycle]

Esther and Jonathan's courtship story was another treasure trove of fundie tropes (proud of that alliteration), although her brother Daniel and Kathryn's still tops the charts.

I am always shocked at the time it takes these people to admit they have feelings for each other. Whoever invented this ridiculous notion that you must court in a neutral, objective way while "holding the relationship in an open hand" has obviously never fallen in love. The emotional repression/repressed communication for all those years must have lasting impacts on their lives.

Their mind-boggling relationship timeline is reflexion of that. Apparently Jonathan approached Mr. Staddon in June 2019 and Esther wasn't told about it until four months later. I understand that the parents were grilling him, but come on, at least check in with your daughter to see if she's interested!

So he jumps through the Daddy hoops and they start an email courtship/correspondence in October. They finally break the news to their siblings in June of the following year. Again, how could they hide 8 months of courtship from the people who are supposed to be their best friends? At this point, they're talking on the phone all the time and pretty much a serious boyfriend and girlfriend couple.

Yet they still haven't admitted to each other that they feel this way. On the weekend Jonathan proposes, he has the silliest excuse to fly to West Virginia (picking up a box of IBLP stuff for his job). Can't he just visit his girlfriend, the woman who's about to become his fiancé? The games and posturing like "I'm not pushing anything, God is making it all happen" drive me crazy. These people have no spine and cannot take responsibility for their feelings. 

There's so much more I could comment on, like Esther's brothers telling her to let Jonathan lead... But that's enough for today. I will say it again, it's a miracle anyone gets married in that community.

 

[Italiangirl]

I know different fundie flavor and all but these convolute and long courtship stories always make me laugh if confronted with the Hassidic Jewish one in which (at least from what I know from movies and Netflix documentaries) often go like "we saw each other two times in a hotel (or so) to speak and decided to get married" ?

 

Edited January 6, 2021 by Italiangirl

[JermajestyDuggar]

I would have a hard time writing my own relationship to marriage story with my husband. Because I honestly don’t remember all the minute details the fundies seem to remember! It’s nothing like fundies though. I knew straight away that he was exactly what I wanted in a boyfriend and I was immediately attracted to him. But you can’t say that in fundieland! Someone’s parent might have a heart attack from such a thing. 

[ophelia]

13 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I would have a hard time writing my own relationship to marriage story with my husband. Because I honestly don’t remember all the minute details the fundies seem to remember! It’s nothing like fundies though. I knew straight away that he was exactly what I wanted in a boyfriend and I was immediately attracted to him. But you can’t say that in fundieland! Someone’s parent might have a heart attack from such a thing. 

Same with my boyfriend. I saw him and knew I was going to fall in love with him. A week later we were a couple and said "I love you" to each other for the first time. I guess some of our friends thought we were crazy, but it just felt right.

[Mrs Ms]

Whereas this heathen over here felt like a bolt of lightning hit me, when in the middle of a drunk person hurling abuse at me I thought “man I wish “he” was here!” and enraged the stupid woman to the point she almost started hitting me by trying to analyse my feelings and thoughts instead of engaging her. ? *
About someone I had known 6 or 7 weeks, hadn’t seen for 10 days at that stage AND we had both disliked each other the day we met. A month later we got together and would probably have sooner if he hadn’t been on holiday for another week and wasn’t so shy.

Within 2 weeks of getting together I felt I could see myself getting old with him which I hadn’t EVER thought of any ex before and we are still together 19 years later. 

Just let shit develop naturally and stop trying to God’n’Jesus everything..... ? 

*still know the exact date, place where I was standing down to a few meters and time down to a 2 hour timeframe.

Edited January 7, 2021 by Mrs Ms
More unnecessary info

[usedbicycle]

When I met my future husband, there was immediate attraction but I felt there was no way it was going to work out. We had different backgrounds, very different careers at the time, different families, different religions and different types of friends. Our families weren't too keen on our relationship for a long time.

On paper, I would have said "pass" before even meeting the guy. But here we are a decade later, probably at our happiest. 

What we DID share was a sense of humor, similar communication style, and curiosity and respect about each other's backgrounds (and people in general). I'm so happy we let our feelings speak first before any rational considerations, or we wouldn't be together today. 

[browngrl]

I met my husband on the train from Toronto to Montreal. Afterwards he told me that he was ready to ask me to marry him by the end of the trip but refrained because he thought I'd think he was crazy but the crazy thing was I would have said yes. We went our separate ways in Montreal but two days later when we were back in Toronto he came over to see me and never left. That was almost 22 years ago. We got married at the little while chapel in Vegas in a drive through wedding presided by old fat Elvis (we did get a city hall license too because we were not sure if the Vegas wedding was legal in Canada). Our wedding reception when we got home was mostly us offering copious amounts alcohol to our friends and relatives who were all still hyperventilating because of the speed of the whole thing. 

I am an atheist but even so I am not sure there is a biblical verse that could summarize our "story". 

[EyesOpen]

Ah memories. Mine sounds fundie till you get to a point. My father in law set us up on a blind date. We have different backgrounds but we needed each other. Three months later, his family gave me a dresser and a key and we’ve lived together ever since. We got married after almost 6 years and have three wonderful kids. We have our own home now but still just a few blocks away from my in-laws who I consider my parents as well. We’re a close family.

[sleepygirl1]

Elissa Baird and Andrii Petrenko got married, there is a video up on Reddit. Minimal decorations and no one is wearing a mask.

[Smee]

I met my husband at work. Like, a paid job that I, a young woman, was doing. So I'm already out. I liked him after our first conversation, invited him to join me and my friends for weekly pub trivia, stuck around at the pub and made out after. We waited almost 2 years after that to get married, mostly because we needed at least one of us to finish university and get a better paying job so we could move out of our parents' homes and support ourselves. It was me, a woman, who got my degree first and me, a female, who carried most of the financial load for the first year of marriage while my husband finished his studies. Birth control was involved. Scandalous.

[Stop_Counting]

On 12/6/2020 at 11:43 PM, Dominionatrix said:

ISB: Anybody know anything about a Joseph Shoemaker in the Duggars’ circle?  James and Jed both follow him on Instagram, and he looks age-appropriate for Jana...

I was reading this thread and decided to search his name. There was some speculation about him and Jana in late 2018.

I can't link it, but you can find the thread in Jana part 7.

Edited January 17, 2021 by Stop_Counting

[VBOY9977]

Kayla Clark and Cameron Manaraze are getting married on February 27th 

https://www.theknot.com/us/cameron-manaraze-and-kayla-clark-feb-2021

Ethan Stewart and Grace Hadden are getting married on May 1st based on their Instagram pages 

Jeremy Hartono and Victoria Waggoner are getting married on June 4th

https://www.theknot.com/us/victoria-waggoner-and-jeremy-hartono-jun-2021

[hoipolloi]

Courtesy @Columbia in the current Botkin thread, Lucas Botkin and Kara Dabbs are engaged to be married on 11/21/212:

[Dominionatrix]

All aboard the ISB! I just noticed that Anna Duggar, Joy, and Jill all follow Stephen Wissman on Instagram, and for Anna and Joy he is the only Wissman they follow, and one of only two or so unmarried men they follow. I officially think he is at least on the Duggars’ radar for Jana. 

Jed also follows Stephen and Hannah Wissman, but none of the other Wissman sisters...

[JermajestyDuggar]

11 minutes ago, Dominionatrix said:

All aboard the ISB! I just noticed that Anna Duggar, Joy, and Jill all follow Stephen Wissman on Instagram, and for Anna and Joy he is the only Wissman they follow, and one of only two or so unmarried men they follow. I officially think he is at least on the Duggars’ radar for Jana. 

Jed also follows Stephen and Hannah Wissman, but none of the other Wissman sisters...

I said a month or so ago that he’s literally one of the only single guys on FJ that might mesh with Jana. So I’ll ride with you on your speculation bus.

[Dominionatrix]

2 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I said a month or so ago that he’s literally one of the only single guys on FJ that might mesh with Jana. So I’ll ride with you on your speculation bus.

Agreed. I know their compatibility (at least on paper) has been discussed here before, but I thought the follows suggest things might actually be progressing. I can totally see Anna, in particular, being all up in Jana’s business and trying to play matchmaker, or at least actively encourage any sparks of a relationship. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 minutes ago, Dominionatrix said:

Agreed. I know their compatibility (at least on paper) has been discussed here before, but I thought the follows suggest things might actually be progressing. I can totally see Anna, in particular, being all up in Jana’s business and trying to play matchmaker, or at least actively encourage any sparks of a relationship. 

I agree. Anna made a shitty love match for herself so I could see her trying to play fundie matchmaker to liven up her own life.

Edited January 23, 2021 by JermajestyDuggar

[Stop_Counting]

I just  predicted a Wissmann/Duggar courtship. I wouldn't be surprised if there were 2.  I did think it was strange that the Wissmanns came from Nebraska to campaign for Jed in Arkansas during the election and pandemic. The posters who didn't think Jed made the Katey pumpkin might be right. Jer might actually be the twin courting Katey Nakatsu.

This may not mean anything, but Jana changed her instagram bio a few days ago. She took out  "Twin" and her location. When I saw that I thought to myself "she'll put engaged where twin was and she's moving out of Arkansas".  It's silly, but I thought the changes she made were interesting.

Edited January 23, 2021 by Stop_Counting

[JermajestyDuggar]

Stephen is also a pilot so he could probably make a quick trip from Nebraska to Arkansas without anyone knowing.  Plus he just wiped his Instagram clean and made it public. If he’s not courting Jana, he’s courting someone.

ETA: correction. He made a brand new account that’s public and kept the old private one still set to private. 

Edited January 23, 2021 by JermajestyDuggar