M is for Mama 9: Mom of Ten, Dislikes Them All

[Ozlsn]

4 hours ago, Skyline said:

My province just locked down hard for 4 wks. No social gatherings of any kind, inside or out, and the walls of my house feel very close.

Are you able to get out at all? If you can go for a walk it really helps, although the weather may be bad for that. Lockdown really sucks.

[Zommom]

Oh Lordy. Abbie was sitting in her car with her infant twins while waiting for her girls while they had music practice. She videotaped a large update for her IG story. Boy, she shared a lot. Apparently, she’s still in a lot of pain with nursing. She really can’t say if the tongue/lip tie helped her boys. But, it hasn’t helped her. She claims she has a high pain tolerance. While pregnant, when she is in excruciating pain teaching her fitness class, she would hold back her screams and keeps going with her workout. (She has NEVER shared that before!) The same for her breast pain. She just grits her teeth and bears the pain. She says she hasn’t found the right treatment because she hasn’t done enough research. She admits she gets paralyzed in indecision. Then, she asked if people wanted her Christmas list (two weeks till Christmas?) even though she hasn’t organized it and worked on it enough. This girl is off her rocker. She deliberately makes her life harder and then claims hard isn’t the same as bad? She is literally doing all the bad things. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Shaun needs to step in an make a decision for her. I’m not into patriarchy. I’m not saying he should do this because he’s a man. He needs to step up as a spouse if his wife is openly stating she’s paralyzed with indecision. He needs to make a doctor (or lactation consultant) appointment for her and make sure she goes. Then the doctor (or LC) can educate her on her options and tell her what (s)he thinks she should do to remedy the situation. 

[Snarkasarus Rex]

I wholehearted agree she needs help and Shaun needs to step up as a spouse. But he’s not going to. If anything, he’ll retreat more into his own world of work and whatever the hell else he does to avoid her. I’ve seen this play out too many times with my own parents. She’s just going to keep getting worse and he’s not going to do anything about it.

[FilleMondaine]

I agree with @Snarkasarus Rex and @JermajestyDuggar. Shaun needs to step up and draw some boundaries and make some decisions and get his wife competent help! I don't like patriarchy either, but would this be a time where he could sort of "force" her to see a real counselor and maybe even get psych meds along with lactation support?

This whole situation reminds me of Dr 90210 (remember that awful show? Why did I love it?), which featured high-end plastic surgeons and their families. Well, one wife was 80lbs (!!!), and when wife's mother came down to help look for new houses and help with the babies, you could see this RAGE in her eyes. She was righteously upset that her son-in-law, a freaking DOCTOR, brushed away concerns for his wife's obvious and serious eating disorder.

[danvillebelle]

She cares more about posting a stupid Christmas list and thereby promoting her social media presence than taking care of her own health.  That pretty much says it all.

[JermajestyDuggar]

If tables were turned, I would say Abbie should step in as a partner to help Shaun. It’s his duty as a spouse to help her when it seems she may be unable to help herself. It’s not patriarchy. It’s how relationships work. 
 

Fundies love to push patriarchy yet look at all the patriarchs that failed to get their wives help when they needed it. Shaun, Steve Maxwell, and PP to name a few.

Edited December 12, 2020 by JermajestyDuggar

[Joe Pukepail]

12 hours ago, Zommom said:

Oh Lordy. Abbie was sitting in her car with her infant twins while waiting for her girls while they had music practice. She videotaped a large update for her IG story. Boy, she shared a lot. Apparently, she’s still in a lot of pain with nursing. She really can’t say if the tongue/lip tie helped her boys. But, it hasn’t helped her. She claims she has a high pain tolerance. While pregnant, when she is in excruciating pain teaching her fitness class, she would hold back her screams and keeps going with her workout. (She has NEVER shared that before!) The same for her breast pain. She just grits her teeth and bears the pain. She says she hasn’t found the right treatment because she hasn’t done enough research. She admits she gets paralyzed in indecision. Then, she asked if people wanted her Christmas list (two weeks till Christmas?) even though she hasn’t organized it and worked on it enough. This girl is off her rocker. She deliberately makes her life harder and then claims hard isn’t the same as bad? She is literally doing all the bad things. 

This all sounds SUPER healthy, what the fuck. If I were one of her Bodypump clients, I would seriously reconsider continuing to attend her classes. It seems really...squicky to me to continue demanding a service from someone when providing it causes them that much pain.

[SassyPants]

I don’t believe for a second that she quietly suffers in silence. I do believe she is lackluster and disinterested in fundie approved roles. She also presents as a profoundly disorganized homemaker. Her natural skill sets do not mesh well with parenting a large number of kids or providing endless hours of homemaking chores. She is miserable because she hates her life, and I think she likely takes it out on all those around her. She is hanging on by the skin of her teeth. She needs to adult up- 

[NotQuiteMotY]

On 12/9/2020 at 8:39 PM, feministxtian said:

Ya know, I am utterly fed up with the baby feeding wars. Just feed the kid dammit...fill one end, empty the other. Don't get 'em mixed up. Baby A does boob, bottle, cereal with a spoon. She eats. If anyone had the audacity to say anything about how Baby A is fed, well, they'd end up having to face grandma...and trust me, they don't want to do that. 

Yes! The extent of my concern with how other people feed their babies is: Are they getting enough of something developmentally appropriate? Yes? Then you're fine, carry on.

@Skyline, it sounds like you are having such a rough time right now. Much, much sympathy, and if you need any support vent away at us, we're good for it.

Also, can someone please get Abbie to a therapist?

[Bluebirdbluebell]

I doubt I would give advice to a friend of mine on the issue of breast-feeding, because I don't have kids and wouldn't know what to tell a friend. 

However If it were me, I would be asking my own mother, maybe some other relatives, or friends for advice. And hopefully they would tell me to seek expert advice. I hope Abbie has people she can turn to for advice. 

On the other hand, this is Abbie. Her motto is hardisnotthesameasgood. Being in pain and doing it anyway is consistent with that philosophy. 

Edited December 13, 2020 by Bluebirdbluebell

[ophelia]

17 hours ago, Snarkasarus Rex said:

I wholehearted agree she needs help and Shaun needs to step up as a spouse. But he’s not going to. If anything, he’ll retreat more into his own world of work and whatever the hell else he does to avoid her. I’ve seen this play out too many times with my own parents. She’s just going to keep getting worse and he’s not going to do anything about it.

I agree with everybody that said that Shaun needed to make sure she gets proper and professional help. In reality the only thing I can see him do is take her on an even fancier date night and maybe plan a little getaway for her. These are the only things he ever does so my hope that he'll finally step up and do what's best for his wife and their children are pretty low.

[danvillebelle]

Her lack of expression and emotion in her talking head videos is so jarring to me that it borders on seriously creepy.  

She's dug her own grave when it comes to her unhappiness.  She has turned her stupid hashtag into a life motto that defines her.  She posts videos of leghumpers praising it and her.  So no matter how miserable she is, she's going to keep plugging away because what actually feeds her is the attention and adulation she's getting from her instagram followers, so she has to make her life super hard so they will keep believing her mantra, and on and on it goes.  The tragic part is there are 10 souls involved who did not ask to be brought into her narcissistic shitshow.

[feministxtian]

There's a reason I stopped having kids...now I'm stopping adopting critters. I know my limits and I've reached them. Thing is, it took me years to learn that it was ok to stop when I was tapped out instead of keeping on. Now I know when to say "no". Thing is, Braggie is so locked into a mindset that she can't see her way out of it. I hope she'll eventually figure it out but I know the feeling of having to do everything even if none of it gets done well. I did the homeschooling, even with kids that had special needs, the cooking from scratch, the immaculate house, the crafty shit. I discovered later that I was covering for being miserable. The busier I was the less time I had to think about how miserable I really was. It eventually all came crashing down though. Now, I do what I damn well please, don't do what I don't want to do and don't give a damn what anyone else thinks. 

[Giraffe]

21 hours ago, feministxtian said:

The busier I was the less time I had to think about how miserable I really was. 

This perfectly describes so many of the families on fj! I met a number of families like this when I was still a believer. It’s an encouragement for birth control, not the great example the parents pretend they are. 
 

eta: sadly they are a “godly example” for those looking for it. 

Edited December 15, 2020 by Giraffe

[feministxtian]

30 minutes ago, Giraffe said:

This perfectly describes so many of the families on fj! I met a number of families like this when I was still a believer. It’s an encouragement for birth control, not the great example the parents pretend they are. 
 

That's when I dropped the facade, found a therapist and went on anti-depressants. Life is much better when I accept my limits and stop worrying about everyone/everything else. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

On 12/14/2020 at 1:43 PM, feministxtian said:

There's a reason I stopped having kids...now I'm stopping adopting critters. I know my limits and I've reached them. Thing is, it took me years to learn that it was ok to stop when I was tapped out instead of keeping on. Now I know when to say "no". Thing is, Braggie is so locked into a mindset that she can't see her way out of it. I hope she'll eventually figure it out but I know the feeling of having to do everything even if none of it gets done well. I did the homeschooling, even with kids that had special needs, the cooking from scratch, the immaculate house, the crafty shit. I discovered later that I was covering for being miserable. The busier I was the less time I had to think about how miserable I really was. It eventually all came crashing down though. Now, I do what I damn well please, don't do what I don't want to do and don't give a damn what anyone else thinks. 

Great line! It explains why cults like IBLP, etc. encourage their members to be quiverfull and adopt quiverfull doctrine. It makes the famlies/couples busier and the busier they are the less time to think about how miserable they are. 

[feministxtian]

3 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Great line! It explains why cults like IBLP, etc. encourage their members to be quiverfull and adopt quiverfull doctrine. It makes the famlies/couples busier and the busier they are the less time to think about how miserable they are. 

It explains why JWs are always going to meetings, knocking on doors and stuff like that. The idea is to keep them busy enough to not think about the crazy, ever-changing beliefs, and keep them surrounded by other JWs so they don't have the ability to take the time to THINK about that crazy shit. Most high-control groups do the same thing. My stepdaughters (Mr. Xtian's girls) were raised JWs and are just now really coming to terms with their upbringing. Neither one has been able to downshift and just BE instead of being busy all the time. They're both still pretty much avoiding that slowing down to reflect on things. 

[SuperNova]

After a long spell of crickets from Abbie, she's back with her annual Christmas list. Times are hard for her and you all should be grateful that she threw this together at the 11th hour. The list is chock full of cheap Amazon crap that was made in overseas sweatshops. 

Spoiler

I'll save you the trouble and the clicks for Abbie by summarizing. The list includes a range of trinkets to stuff in a drawer the day after Christmas and forget about, like keychains, headbands, cheap trendy necklaces, and earrings. She has a few higher ticket items like a charging station, a hair dryer, and 70 dollar wellies but those are exceptions.

First up is a link to a mug version of the shirt she was wearing in the vaccuum post. Just FYI it's Notorious RBG not ACB. ACB isn't fit to lick RBG's boots.

Spoiler

Next up we have Abbie's ugly overalls. But they're linen! Yes Abbie, I'm sure everyone is just clambering to find out where you got those hideous things. 18 dollar linen will be a shapeless mess in no time.

Spoiler

Are you in the market for chic, stylish bubble machine? Well look no further! Abbie's got you covered. Or if you're a martyr like her, you can make the huge sacrifice and get the one that your kid actually wants.

Spoiler

Last but not least, cringey t-shirts for your hubby. I'm sure every woman in a five mile radius is jealous of Abbie whenever Shaun has one of these bad boys on.

Spoiler

 

Edited December 16, 2020 by SuperNova
RBG not RGB

[Giraffe]

Wow, lest we think she forgot to hate on Shiloh, have no fear because his present is a “glaring monstrosity.” FFS, I dare you to go a single post without shitting on that child! And for the record I absolutely love the glaring monstrosity and would instantly buy that over the plain chic one she would buy herself. 

[Kailash]

@SuperNova That quote isn’t RBG. It was something that was said about Amy Coney Barrett. ?

[SuperNova]

3 minutes ago, Kailash said:

@SuperNova That quote isn’t RBG. It was something that was said about Amy Coney Barrett. ?

I know, I was referring to RBG being called Notorious RBG long before ACB was around. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 minutes ago, Giraffe said:

Wow, lest we think she forgot to hate on Shiloh, have no fear because his present is a “glaring monstrosity.” FFS, I dare you to go a single post without shitting on that child! And for the record I absolutely love the glaring monstrosity and would instantly buy that over the plain chic one she would buy herself. 

I’ve bought a few of those bubble machines. All children’s toy bubble machines are brightly colored. That white one is for weddings or dances. They are white and small so you don’t notice where all the lovely bubbles are coming from. That white one isn’t a child’s toy. So of course you wouldn’t buy it for Shiloh. She really is dramatic about the stupidest shit.

[Kailash]

Just now, SuperNova said:

I know, I was referring to RBG being called Notorious RBG long before ACB was around. 

I apologize, I misunderstood. Thanks for summarizing ACB’s Instagram post.

[FilleMondaine]

57 minutes ago, Kailash said:

I apologize, I misunderstood. Thanks for summarizing ACB’s Instagram post.

@Kailash, As long as you agree that Comey-Barrett is terrible (along with the culty brand of Catholicism she belongs to), you're good by me! Why would someone WANT to have "strong dogma". That's the sort of brittle faith performance that Jesus didn't like.

Like Abbie, I don't like the look of most children's toys. That's why they go to their homes (the cupboard) after playtime. But they still get the toy best for them.

Also...for someone weird about exercise, why post a "plus size" item? And yes, the shirts are gross.

I suppose that Abbie seems less and less snarkable, and more and more pitiable.