M is for Mama 9: Mom of Ten, Dislikes Them All

[EmiSue]

On 12/6/2020 at 10:25 AM, JMO said:

I still don't understand why the Twins needed surgery at this age. They've been nursing, growing and gaining for 2 months. She's an experienced mom with other kids that needed tongue releases so she must have realized earlier if they really needed it. Why did she wait until now? Probably because she was too busy traveling to get it done earlier. 

She said in stories that the twins were both growing but she was in pain. That just infuriated me. If it's painful but not interfering with their eating, SWITCH TO BOTTLES!!! Then everyone is out of pain. But no, Abbie wants to nurse so surgery it is. Poor babies. 

[Kailash]

3 minutes ago, EmiSue said:

She said in stories that the twins were both growing but she was in pain. That just infuriated me. If it's painful but not interfering with their eating, SWITCH TO BOTTLES!!! Then everyone is out of pain. But no, Abbie wants to nurse so surgery it is. Poor babies. 

I can see Abbie’s side in this. There are many health benefits to breastfeeding and even if her only motivation was to avoid bottles, I personally can’t fault her for that. Washing and sterilizing bottles takes a lot of time, energy and physical space. Also, it’s great that the twins were growing, but we can’t know if there was the possibility of other issues (possibly speech) for them down the road that the doctor decided to prevent. 
 

[Snarkasarus Rex]

Yes, lip and tongue ties can lead to speech delays, so I can’t fault her for wanting to get it taken care of. But she should have gotten it done much earlier if she knew it was a problem. But that probably wasn’t convenient for her. ?

[JermajestyDuggar]

7 minutes ago, Snarkasarus Rex said:

Yes, lip and tongue ties can lead to speech delays, so I can’t fault her for wanting to get it taken care of. But she should have gotten it done much earlier if she knew it was a problem. But that probably wasn’t convenient for her. ?

She had vacations to go on!

[EmiSue]

2 hours ago, Kailash said:

I can see Abbie’s side in this. There are many health benefits to breastfeeding and even if her only motivation was to avoid bottles, I personally can’t fault her for that. Washing and sterilizing bottles takes a lot of time, energy and physical space. Also, it’s great that the twins were growing, but we can’t know if there was the possibility of other issues (possibly speech) for them down the road that the doctor decided to prevent. 
 

Breast milk benefits are marginal in the developed world and could still be given if she pumped. If the ties were severe enough to impact speech, like my husband's and son's were, they would almost certainly impede feeding, which they aren't. Abbie still chose surgery over her own inconvenience (including waiting, likely to go on vacation) and then whines that she has fussy babies.

[SassyPants]

4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’m totally fine with Braggie’s outfit. The only issue is that it’s December and the dress looks summery. I love women wearing whatever they choose (not what the patriarchy chooses). But unfortunately I know that Braggie tries way too hard to be young, hip, and cool so it makes me wonder if that was her motivation. Which is just sad.

I absolutely believe that was her motive. This was a hard pregnancy, and she has not just sprung back as usual. Twins are hard- having 10 kids is hard. 5 under 5 is hard. She’s not special, and her response is typical for people who do not know when to stop, at anything destructive.

Edited December 8, 2020 by SassyPants

[JermajestyDuggar]

7 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I absolutely believe that was her motive. This was a hard pregnancy, and she has not just sprung back as usual. Twins are hard- having 10 kids is hard. 5 under 5 is hard. She’s not special, and her response is typical for people who do not know when to stop, at anything destructive.

I’m the exact same age as Braggie and I know I’m not old. But I would feel old if I had 10 kids. Because I would be so exhausted all the time. 

[Hane]

Re matching dresses for kids: My mom sometimes got me and my 5-years-younger sister matching dresses for special occasions until I was 10 or so and started to resent it.

But one year, when my daughter was about 7 or 8, she saw matching mother-daughter Christmas outfits in the circa 1985 JC Penney catalog and longingly pleaded, “Can we *please* get these?” They consisted of cream-colored blouses with lace collars and pearl buttons with floor-length pine green skirts. I bought us the blouses but made the skirts myself (it was cheaper back then), and added tartan sashes. She was thrilled, and so was I.

[FilleMondaine]

My own kiddo seems to find some comfort dressing in matching/coordinating outfits as me. Her dad was deployed (now home!), and there is a Pandemic on. I'm a GenX goth-type person, so I'm only doing this for my kids mental health.

Basically, there is (almost) always a good reason to do something, or to dress a certain way, or to take a certain picture. The Pandemic is putting everything into stark relief, and it makes total sense that we see these things visually: matching clothing, traditional-type Christmas, politically-branded face masks.

And I wish so much that our girl would get some help. I know I totally snark on her like many here, but I think if she were getting help (and maybe said that she was getting help), she would find a whole lot of supporters on this thread. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I truly believe all the people we talk about on FJ would benefit from regular therapy with a licensed counselor (not a “Christian counselor”). But if Braggie refuses to get help for her trichotillomania, she won’t get help for anything else either.

[ophelia]

Wow! That is a shorty short dress. I have to admit I find it cute, but I wouldn't feel comfortable sitting with it in church. To me it would feel like sitting in a church pew with my bare naked ass on the bench and this is a modesty line that I choose to rather not cross.

Not a fan of overknee boots though, but won't ciritize her for that.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

Even if Abbie got therapy, she'd still be anti-gay rights and anti-Black Lives Matter. I couldn't support her. 

I also wonder if she'd really change in any way. I doubt she would give up having babies or homeschooling in pursuit of what makes her happier. 

[indianabones]

I am child-free so I have to match outfits with my dog.

[Loolaa]

2 hours ago, indianabones said:

I am child-free so I have to match outfits with my dog.

What a cute doggy! Look at that little face ?

[Womble]

I'm just back to quickly clarify - I said most people with multiple small kids can learn to tune them out, I meant a bit. So, just for long enough to answer a question, or pick up another child or turn on the kettle - or driving. But most people can't just ignore the crying altogether. But I think with this many babies around she just has to, and has learnt to over years.

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, Womble said:

I'm just back to quickly clarify - I said most people with multiple small kids can learn to tune them out, I meant a bit. So, just for long enough to answer a question, or pick up another child or turn on the kettle - or driving. But most people can't just ignore the crying altogether. But I think with this many babies around she just has to, and has learnt to over years.

I think Michelle, Kelly, JRod, Zoo, and Braggie have all figured out how to ignore it over the years. I have 2 kids and I can’t ignore my children’s crying. Not for a second. It’s an issue for me because it’s so distracting that I have a hard time concentrating on anything else. But I can ignore other people’s crying babies. I imagine that’s similar to how these moms of many can do it. 

[Alisamer]

I'm one of only three kids, and wow could my mom tune us out. Crying or screaming would get attention, but 90% of the time you could not ask her a question or get her attention any other way without using her given name, because "mom" got no response at all. (It's still this way, sometimes. I still have to use her actual name to get her attention in some cases!) 

Worse, though, was that she did hear us. I know hearing "mom" 15 times in a row is annoying, but she'd wait that long and then snap at us for bothering her. Like geez, mom, sorry I can't find the band-aids on my own because you hid them. If you'd answered the first time we'd be done with this 20 minutes ago and you'd be reading your paper again already.

My mom is mostly better now, she seems to do better with us as adults. But I have no doubt that Abbie is probably like my mom in the way she tunes the kids out until they annoy her enough to snap at them.

I don't have any kids, and that's a good thing IMO. But I've worked enough with kids to know my philosophy is generally "just deal with it already if possible". It's a lot less annoying to just figure out what the kid needs and deal with it than to wait until they're desperate for your attention and then get mad about it. Then nobody's happy.

[feministxtian]

1 hour ago, Alisamer said:

I'm one of only three kids, and wow could my mom tune us out

Oh, I could tune my kids out...oh yeah. Mostly the fighting, guitar playing, video game sounds, moaning and groaning over chores, homework, fussing, crying and fighting in the car too. I'd just turn up the radio in the car until I could drown them out. 

But, the minute they said "mom"...yup...they had my attention. Now, if it was one of those long, drawn out "mooooooooooooom" deals...well...I knew someone was going to whine and fuss about something. To this day, if I hear "mom" anywhere, I immediately pay attention! "Grandma" gets my attention now too...but I only hear that a few hundred times a day.

Now, when my kids say "mom" or in my daughter's case, a text that starts with "hey momma"...I pay attention. I'm still "mom", "momma", "mommy" to my kids...But then again, I'm also "spawn of Satan", "she who must be obeyed", and a few other goofy names too. 

Yes my kids have been known to call me "spawn of Satan". One kid's ring tone for me on his phone is the Imperial March from Star Wars. See...they discovered that to dial "mom" on their phones, it's 666. They've run with it. It doesn't bother me one bit. But, I have a sorta weird relationship with my kids...lots of love mixed with sarcasm and goofiness. I can't explain it. I guess it's that they're secure enough in my love to know they can mess with me and it doesn't mean much except a good laugh. 

Oh, #1 son said that talking about them online would give the impression that they were "nice" kids...I told him that I told the good, bad and ugly and I adored them anyway. 

[bea]

Of course Abbie users pyramid scheme hair care products. OF COURSE SHE DOES.
(WTF, ugh, let’s find out about the hair care products of a woman who goes two weeks without washing her hair and combs it with a fork from the floor of her van.)

[danvillebelle]

Um....thanks but no thanks, Braggie, on your super expensive ($99 for a 1 oz. bottle of something?) trendy MLM hair care products.  If I want my hair to come out in clumps, I can pull it out myself for free.  

https://www.sun-sentinel.com/business/fl-bz-challenges-remain-for-multi-level-marketing-company-monat-20200920-yykg3urfkveojmwa6xtkigil2e-story.html

21 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

One kid's ring tone for me on his phone is the Imperial March from Star Wars. See...they discovered that to dial "mom" on their phones, it's 666. They've run with it.

Literal LOL, because I can see my younger son doing something EXACTLY like this. 

[NotQuiteMotY]

On 12/7/2020 at 2:48 PM, SuperNova said:

Yes, but was it sanctifying yogurt pickle barf?

Abbie has been having a tough time. I really wish she would seek a therapist, even a Christian one because she has the idea that feelings and emotions cant be trusted at all. To a certain extent she's right, they're fickle. But that doesn't mean you should stuff them down and pray.

Abbie doesn't really seem to harp too much on modesty. I guess I assumed it was part and parcel with the rest of the Jesus speak but here she's pictured with a very short baby doll dress. It's fine by my standards, I think everyone should wear what they want. It is surprising however that a preachy christian kool aid drinker like Abbie would find it appropriate to wear a short dress/thigh high boot combo.

  Hide contents

 

That is... Wow. How is it wrong to say that something isn't okay and you have every right to be upset with something? How you handle it past that, yeah, there might be problem, but why can't you say, "Welp, this is a sucky hand to be dealt. Now what?"

(Incidentally, I think that's a cute top. For me I would not be wearing it outside the house without a pair of leggings between it and those boots!)

[front hugs > duggs]

I saw a meme online that went something like, "if we want these anti-vaxers to take the Covid vaccine, we should make it an MLM"....y'all....who wants to try this on Braggie 

[SuperNova]

Abbie is shilling a vaccuum today. She posts a very natural and not at all staged photo of herself pretending to use the vaccuum. What I find most disturbing is that a 13 year old kid has a solid opinion on a vaccuum cleaner. We know who does the real work around the house and it ain't Abbie.

Spoiler

 

Edited December 9, 2020 by SuperNova

[Melissa1977]

On 12/7/2020 at 10:31 PM, EmiSue said:

She said in stories that the twins were both growing but she was in pain. That just infuriated me. If it's painful but not interfering with their eating, SWITCH TO BOTTLES!!! Then everyone is out of pain. But no, Abbie wants to nurse so surgery it is. Poor babies. 

Tongue tie may easily lead to speech issues and to teeth problems. If the surgery is needed, it's ok to do the soonest the better.

I know Abbie is focused in herself and not in her children, but breasfeeding may also help to improve immune system of such tiny babies, so I understand a mom choosing surgery in order to keep nursing. In addition, bottle milk is expensive and washing bottles is time consuming (and considering how dirty Abbie is, I would be scared of babies feed from not properly washed bottles).

[The butcher's wife]

5 hours ago, SuperNova said:

Abbie is shilling a vaccuum today. She posts a very natural and not at all staged photo of herself pretending to use the vaccuum. What I find most disturbing is that a 13 year old kid has a solid opinion on a vaccuum cleaner. We know who does the real work around the house and it ain't Abbie.

Right? That is one of the things that always irks me about her monday to-do-list: she regularly comes on to claim that monday is her busy day and that she does way less most other days, so don't beat yourself up if you're not as productive as Braggie! But that list regularly features things like "vacuum downstairs" and "clean downstairs bathroom". You better believe that if 12 people (well, 9 toilet-users, probably) lived in my house, that bathroom would need daily cleaning. I already have the vacuum robot do its thing 3 times a week and there's just two of us in our apartment. Anyways, the logistics of that don't line up. Either her house is filthy the rest of the week or her army of child labourers do the cleaning the rest of the time. Judging by this post, Simon is not only the main cook but the main vacuumer as well.

Also, the picture of the dirt they got out of their rugs was legit disgusting. Noone with this many children and two dogs should have wool rugs in their main living area. It's quite obvious that can only turn out gross.

Edited December 9, 2020 by The butcher's wife