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Hane

"Ride, Sally, Ride" (or Sex Rules): A Masterwork by Doug Wilson

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Pibblesmiles

There was a wildlife photographer named Asahel Curtis, and there is a nature trail in the Snoqualmie National Forest that is named for him.  When the Pibbles kids were little, they always started getting antsy for some snacks right about the time we would pass the Asahel Curtis exit sign on I-90.

So, rather than impressing me with his knowledge of minor Biblical characters, by using the name Asahel, Dougie just makes me feel nostalgic for the Before Times when we would road trip to eastern Washington to visit family.

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Katzchen24

I’m a terribly confused by his narrative. What exactly is he trying to demonstrate (apart from his willingness to use someone’s possible mental illness as a plot device)?
 

I actually looked up my state legislation and discovered that not only is there an offence in the criminal code for homicide, but there’s a separate Act specifically defining ‘death’ in the case of a person.  I’m guessing my state criminal code is pretty much the same around the world so Dougie is playing fast and loose with this storyline. 
 

He’s created a world where robots are recognised as people then? So would he be as upset about a bot that did housework? Does it matter if the bot is humanoid in form or not? Does the bot that replaced 50 people on the local factory line count? What is the dividing line between, say, a clothing store dummy and Sally?
 

Is it purely because Steve refers to Sally as his wife that there’s an issue? In this case Ace the Acehole has destroyed her because of Steve’s actions which is equally fucked up. 
 

I’m trying to work around to the idea that Acehole wouldn’t be charged with murder of Sally unless there were specific legislative provisions that classified her as a person who could be murdered. If the legislation is there, then there’s no story to him being charged. If the offence doesn’t exist, then he can’t be charged with something that isn’t there.

Mostly I’m just on the school run with too much time to think!

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Black Aliss
2 hours ago, Pibblesmiles said:

There was a wildlife photographer named Asahel Curtis, and there is a nature trail in the Snoqualmie National Forest that is named for him.  When the Pibbles kids were little, they always started getting antsy for some snacks right about the time we would pass the Asahel Curtis exit sign on I-90.

So, rather than impressing me with his knowledge of minor Biblical characters, by using the name Asahel, Dougie just makes me feel nostalgic for the Before Times when we would road trip to eastern Washington to visit family.

One of the Black offspring once asked me, as we passed that road sign, just how to pronounce that name. No, not "Denny Creek", the other one!  He couldn't figure out how to say it so it didn't sound like "Asshole".

"Well, there's really no way to avoid that. . ." I always wondered if that might have been the cause of his falling out with his more famous brother, Edward Curtis.

I miss the Before Times too.

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Marmion
22 hours ago, Pibblesmiles said:

Every time I read "Ace," I see, in my mind's eye, a weird mash-up of Ace Ventura, Pet Detective and Ace Rimmer from Red Dwarf.

 As bad as it might sound , I associate " Ace " with this .  {  https://ideas.fandom.com/wiki/Ace_Virtueson  ,  https://www.alternet.org/2014/01/shocking-lessons-christian-educational-cartoons/  }  

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Howl

"Ace and I fixed the toaster with parts from an old airplane" said no human being ever. 

Also the implication that everyone has an old airplane for parts out back...

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Bad Wolf

Thank you @Hane. I really enjoyed Serena's Serenity. I really appreciate you doing this.

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Lillymuffin
10 hours ago, Howl said:

Also the implication that everyone has an old airplane for parts out back...

You mean you don’t? :pb_lol:

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Howl

I don't personally, but let me check in with *checks on old FJ threads* John Shrader, the world's worst missionary.  He's rumored to have an old airplane stored away, but  hasn't been able to find the key to the hangar. 

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Hane

Ride, Sally, Ride, Chapter Three:  Sara Yoder

Sara Yoder is a quiet Old Order Mennonite in her late twenties. She works at home as a seamstress, and is the only child of parents who had recently died. (Dougie throws in a lot of condescending and only marginally accurate info about such “plain people.” He mentions that these Mennonites are allowed to drive black cars, but with chrome trimmings that were painted black as well.  Re unpainted chrome bumpers: “That kind of bling was just two steps away from the women wearing make-up, and there was no telling where *that* might end up.”)

Sara has no extended family or friends in her community. On his deathbed, her father told her she should leave the community. He had never fit in there, and said that her late mother “saw through it,” too. After his death, she took care of her parents’ estate, put her comfortable inheritance into a bank the rest of her community never used, got a credit card, packed a backpack, and planned her departure.

On Saturday, she goes with her community to a local farmers’ market to help out. She takes a break to go into a drug store to buy a tube of pale lipstick and a Chicago Cubs baseball cap (with no clue what the Cubs are, but one of her aunts was from Chicago). She puts on some lipstick, takes off her black head covering, lets her hair down, and puts on the baseball cap. These moves are calculated as a signal to her community that she’s on her way out. The bishop, a kindhearted man, makes sure that she actually wants to leave, then tells her the community must reluctantly shun her. She gets his agreement for a community member to sell her parents’ house and he asks her to remember the community in her prayers. (Bitchy note:  Dougie spells a certain word “alright” and “all right” in two successive lines.) After he leaves her, Sara notices he’s left her five hundred-dollar bills.

Sara gets on a bus and finds herself in tears.  Who should be sitting directly opposite her but Stephanie, the human Taj Mahal? Stephanie offers to buy her a cup of coffee and to listen to her troubles, detecting from Sara’s combination of plain dress and baseball cap that she was on her way out of her religious group. In the coffee shop, Sara looks suspiciously on her cup of coffee, as she “had never had any caffeine before in her life.”  (Dougie, that’s Mormons, not Mennonites. Mennonites and Amish love their cuppa joe.)

After ascertaining that Sara is financially able to take care of herself and is planning to stay at a hotel while looking for an apartment, Stephanie gives her a few hours of 21st century life lessons: what a condominium is, how to use an ATM, how to choose her “look” in buying clothes. She helps Sara buy a phone, enters her contact info into it, and steers her into an employment service office. Sara immediately lands a job as a receptionist, because a total lack of electronics skills is a big draw for employers nowadays.  

Edited by Hane
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Petronella

Wow. Just gets weirder and weirder. Someone leaving a restrictive religious environment has a lot of possibility as a rich source of emotional development and point of view, but Doug seems to be presenting this without irony or insight. Also, I suspect she's about to be sucked into Doug's form of religious restriction, so not much room to be interesting after all.

What a coward her father was to keep her in a bad (by his own estimation) system but not admit it to her until he's about to die. I think someone in her situation would be more likely to react with either confusion and grief (if she's a true believer) or anger (if she's been pretending to satisfy him only to learn that he didn't believe either; all those wasted years!).

Maybe it's written more vividly than comes across in summary, but her choices immediately after seem so odd. Hane, is she doing these things in order to obey her father's admonition that she leave the community, or is she excited about her new possible choices and driven by her own curiosity/relief/eagerness?

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THERetroGamerNY

I can’t explain why, but the idea that this book is “Blade Runner for Fundies” will NOT leave my brain.

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Howl
57 minutes ago, THERetroGamerNY said:

I can’t explain why, but the idea that this book is “Blade Runner for Fundies” will NOT leave my brain.

Thank you for this. It makes the entire thing even more fun.

Also, she has no "friends" or relatives, but she has an entire community?

None of this makes sense, but of course it's just Doug Wilson's fever dream and wordsmithy ways -- in other words, his regular ego trip.

I'm just gonna guess we'll get more descriptions of Doug's preferred secondary sex characteristics for young women. 

 

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Hane

Poor Sara Yoder is as much a throw-away character as Sally the sex doll is. She will prove useful later in the story, but doesn’t merit the smarmy, explicit physical descriptions that Crazy Legs Taj Mahal Stephanie does.

Please, friends, do not get your hopes up about further interactions with Christian Blade Runner bots. There will be none. Instead, brace yourself for the next chapter, a lengthy slog through Dougie’s pronouncements on ideal sexual, economic, and societal conditions. Spoiler alert: Alabama will be presented as utopian.

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Marmion
19 hours ago, Hane said:

He mentions that these Mennonites are allowed to drive black cars, but with chrome trimmings that were painted black as well.  Re unpainted chrome bumpers: “That kind of bling was just two steps away from the women wearing make-up, and there was no telling where *that* might end up.”)

I believe that he's referring to this group in particular .  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weaverland_Old_Order_Mennonite_Conference  From the article  

Quote

The popular name Horning Church came from Bishop Moses Horning, who owned a car bought for him by a parishioner.[1] The group is also known as Black-bumper Mennonites for their early custom of painting over the chrome on their cars for modesty, though in the modern day this custom is only mandatory for ministers[1]

 Just for fun , here are some pictures of Old Order Mennonites , that I have found .  

Spoiler

5944425143_9db90720b2_o.jpg

  

Spoiler

ba72e3e9e10c6e2dc533360e127e8993.jpg

 

Spoiler

mennonitegirls.jpg

 

Spoiler

7623102794_cda730f4a4_b.jpg

 

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7744778588_696dfbb886_b.jpg

 

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8788390259_398c3505c9_b.jpg

 

Spoiler

o7jjrzvmwyvyzqncfi41.jpg

 

Spoiler

5944425139_a43c7f70dd.jpg

These photos should give you all an idea of what Sara Yoder ( I think the characters name sounds more so Amish than Mennonite , in my opinion , by the way . ) might actually look like , rather than how Doug Wilson has described her .  P.S. I can certainly attest that Amish / Mennonites like their coffee , and soda pop ,  perhaps a little too much .  The author should have done his research , rather than make assumptions .  

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Ozlsn
8 hours ago, Marmion said:

 

  Hide contents

8788390259_398c3505c9_b.jpg

 

I am kind of sad that I looked at this photo and my first thought was how much more comfortably dressed and shod those girls are compared to the Rodlets. They look like they could climb, run and play easily in those dresses and shoes, and they're a lot better fitting than most of the clothes Jill provides. Also more "modest" by Jill's alleged standards.

15 hours ago, Howl said:

Also, she has no "friends" or relatives, but she has an entire community?

Yeah, that is the weirdest description ever. If she'd been unhappy and waiting for her father to die so she could leave I could see it - but directing her to go while she's tending him on his death bed... could have been written better. Giving her his blessing because he knew she was unhappy would have been better. 

As for the way women apparently show they're leaving, WTAF? 

14 hours ago, Hane said:

Poor Sara Yoder is as much a throw-away character as Sally the sex doll is. She will prove useful later in the story, but doesn’t merit the smarmy, explicit physical descriptions that Crazy Legs Taj Mahal Stephanie does.

Pity, she could be interesting in the hands of a competent, more imaginative, less bigoted author. Well along with the entire book really.

Also "Crazy Legs Taj Mahal", heh.

14 hours ago, Hane said:

a lengthy slog through Dougie’s pronouncements on ideal sexual, economic, and societal conditions. Spoiler alert: Alabama will be presented as utopian

I can't wait. For some reason I'm hoping for jet packs.  

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Hane

@Ozlsn, no jet packs. The book is set in 2024, so no fun ultra-modern stuff. New technology seems to be limited to the occasional perverted sex doll.

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Howl
7 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

I am kind of sad that I looked at this photo and my first thought was how much more comfortably dressed and shod those girls are compared to the Rodlets.

They also looked very much FLDS, right down to the shoes.  If you are walking around on a farm/unpaved roads, working in gardens and fields, sturdy shoes make sense. 

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Black Aliss
On 11/4/2020 at 6:43 AM, Howl said:

I don't personally, but let me check in with *checks on old FJ threads* John Shrader, the world's worst missionary.  He's rumored to have an old airplane stored away, but  hasn't been able to find the key to the hangar. 

Esther had a craving for toast during her last pregnancy and she stole some parts from the plane to fix her toaster. John still does not know why his plane won't fly but he's ashamed to admit that.

Also, too, thank you for the link to the ACE universe. I did find a striking typo in their content. (I wonder if, like many secular textbook authors, they pay a bounty for typos) Specifically, I think they misspelled "Donny":

Quote

Ronny is a malevolent scumbag. Other PACE characters make the occasional mistake (like choosing to read a book instead of pray), but Ronny's every action is either stupid or simply unprovoked, intentional evil. Ronny is a thief....

He mocks a small child for crying....

Later, Ronny crashes his motorcycle, paralyzing one of the other characters in the accident. Following this, Ronny mocks the other character for needing a wheelchair. 

 

Edited by Black Aliss

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Black Aliss
22 hours ago, Hane said:

Spoiler alert: Alabama will be presented as utopian.

No surprise there. The latest news from Alabama is right up Wilson's alley:

Quote

 

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Howl
23 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

Esther had a craving for toast during her last pregnancy and she stole some parts from the plane to fix her toaster. John still does not know why his plane won't fly but he's ashamed to admit that.

In the John Shrader universe, this could easily happen!  Maybe Esther has had the key to the hangar all along, and hid it to keep her children safe from flying with John!  

 

Quote

And now the officer is using the "I didn't say what I clearly said" defense. 

Edited by Howl

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Red Hair, Black Dress
23 hours ago, Hane said:

Spoiler alert: Alabama will be presented as utopian.

Has he ever been to Alabama? I'm guessing not.

There are  many lovely places in Alabama (Cheaha Mountain, Falls and State Park spring to mind), but ideal sexual, economic and societal conditions......... Uh.... That would be a big Nope.

Edited by Red Hair, Black Dress

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Marmion
14 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

As for the way women apparently show they're leaving, WTAF?

 He might have caught this scene from a reality TV show .  But even then it featured a teen on her " rumspringa " , not a baptized adult member of the Amish community .  

Spoiler

 

 

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Hane

Ride, Sally, Ride, Chapter Four:  Narnian Snow Dance

Narnia Down South

Note: Apparently this story isn’t taking place in 2024, but some time later—there are references to “The Troubles of 2024.” Dougie isn’t clear on the date, other than the fact that the world went batshit cray after Roe v. Wade was overturned in 2023. 

Warning: This chapter was a behemoth, and I tried really hard to condense it.

Ace says to Jon, “Have you been in any of the free states in the last fifteen or so years?” A couple of problems: Dougie insists on calling the red states the “free states,” most likely because right-wing ultra conservative Christianity is accepted as the norm there and they’re “free” of any slight criticism from those even a bit left of them. Also, if Ace had been, he would have been five years old then. And how did Alabama find out about him and make his trial a cause celebre?

Jon really hasn’t, so Ace goes on, “It was the weirdest thing being out there. You know how here in Colorado I am the out-of-control radical one? The militant normal? But when I was in Alabama for that conference,, for the first time in many years, I felt surrounded by normal people, hundreds of them. Completely surrounded by the kind of people you only read about in books. And I was the one who was still half a bubble off. They were all very nice to me, and they had me there to address their conference because of the stand we are taking here, but inside my head I felt like I had popped out into the middle of the Narnian snow dance.”

Jon is amazed that Ace has read The Chronicles of Narnia, which had been banned by the Colorado Human Rights Commission because The Horse and His Boy mentioned that the way the character Lewis treated the Calormenes (an imaginary country of Middle-Eastern-seeming people) was “racist and hurtful.”

Hackers

Ace tells Jon and Stephanie the full story of the Alabama trip. Ace’s speech there had been “sexual energy in culture.” His thesis was based on Chesterton: “His idea was a distinction between disciplined cultures, repressed cultures, and dissolute cultures. There is a tendency, Ace said, for repressed cultures and dissolute cultures to play off each other, each one reacting to the excesses of the other.” 

Ace went on to say, “But there is a third way….Disciplined cultures use sexual energy the same way a giant earth-moving machine uses hydraulic fluid.  All of it is channeled and focused—when it stays inside the system, there are very few things one of those machines can’t lift.” (Because, naturally, human sexuality is so easily described. Notice that Dougie doesn’t even entertain the possibility that Christian patriarchy is a “repressed culture.)” Of course his audience had a simultaneous, explosive orgasm over this deathless oration.

As the throng lines up for the privilege of shaking Ace’s hand, he meets a thirty-year-old guy named Thomas Murray, who invites him to his office for a chat. Ace gets the flutters because Thomas quotes a Latin line from Wodehouse, showing that they’re destined to be besties. (Ace won’t be flying back to Colorado till late the next day as “There were a lot fewer flights to Denver now, for some reason.” Because NO ONE wants to go to a reeking hellhole full of liberals.) As Ace’s guard Officer Neil (the other officer had taken off for some reason, because Liberals Have No Morals) checks out the office for any means by which Ace could escape, there’s plenty of time for Dougie to poke fun at the officer for not knowing a Biblical reference that’s lobbed at him. “Bible knowledge was not a thing in Colorado.” Last time I checked, Colorado Springs is a huge hub for megachurches, but WTF do I know.

Thomas refers to C.S. Lewis’s The Abolition of Man, whose final chapter posits a dystopian near-future in which the majority is ruled by a small minority that uses the mastery of psychology to control them—hence, the Evil Liberal Overlords who are selling sex dolls and legalizing weed in Colorado. (Note:  C.S. Lewis was a Christian theologian who wrote The Chronicles of Narnia, Mere Christianity, and other works.) He recommends this book and one called A Theological History of the Troubles of 2024. He tells Ace that he’ll have to tear off the covers to sneak them into Colorado Because Censorship. (Let me pause here to point out that we Evil Liberals aren’t really big on banning books, and more into pointing out what’s wrong with them. It’s the Super-Christian Mommies with too much time on their hands who are the ones trying to get Harry Potter chucked out of the school library.)

Thomas goes on to tell Ace about what led to these Troubles—the coming together of three guys: John Henry, a charismatic Reformed Christian preacher; Tony DiAngelo, an anti-contraception Catholic (who talked about “demographic winter” and invited couples to “throw their birth control gizmos into the bonfire” at his talks—I can see the gals yanking out their IUDs and Norplants from here!), and Allen Jansen, a former Albertan oilman who was chased out of Canada to North Dakota. (The martyr complex is laid on thick here.) The oilman cut deals with the governors of conservative states to oppose the federal government and allow the construction of pipelines to the Gulf. Thomas says, “Jansen arranged for all these governments to not hassle him if he openly advertised some pretty eccentric—for that time—hiring requirements. They are all pretty standard now, though. He would give bonuses to married men who had at least three children under the age of ten, and he would give additional bonuses for his employees for staying married, and also for additional children. And the base pay was such that the wives and mothers could stay home.” Sure. OK.

But, wait! There’s more! Thomas continues, “The cherry on top was the utter collapse of Darwinism, at least in our heartland states, and in most of eastern Europe.” Ace bemoans the fact that he had to take a mandatory Darwin course in college. (Yeah, I know.  I don’t know a single person who has ever had to do this.)  He mentions “regular scientists” turning against evolution because of findings of dinosaur skeletons with soft tissue on them. (I guess everything about paleontology, carbon dating, and geology just went down the chute.) And sexual license is keeping everybody distracted from What’s Really Going On, somehow turning everyone into powerless geldings and oxen.

Thomas tells an anecdote about his grandmother, who at one time had only four of the nine kids she’d eventually have. A woman said to her, “Don’t you know what causes all this?” and Grandma replied, “Why, yes, we do. And it looks like I’m getting a lot more of it than you are.” Haw haw haw.

Thomas posits, “Sex multiplies when it is restricted….When sex is everywhere, when everything is sexualized, what happens is that actual sex starts to evaporate….When you drive through the blue states, you are confronted with it everywhere—billboards, ads on gas pumps, porn in gas stations, mandatory sex ed in all those grades, and all the pride marches. Lots and lots of talk.” Jesus Christ, Dougie.  I live in the deep blue Northeast.  I have seen damn little of all the sex ads he’s going on about. The places that don’t bother with sex education are the ones with the highest teen pregnancy rates and sexual activity, but WTF do I know. And the pride marches I’ve been do have been about as racy as a church fair.

 Ace and Thomas discuss the peculiar phenomenon found in Alabaman shopping malls: strollers everywhere, full of babies.

“After the Troubles, a number of dramatic changes occurred in our states….Porn was outlawed, and became very difficult to obtain….Once women rediscovered what they are for, it was not long after that that men rediscovered what they are for. And what they are for is protection and provision. Once the protection of women was back in place, the population exploded.” JFC. There is chat about the difference between “putting women in their place” and “allowing women to find their place,” and how blissful all the stroller-pushing mommies at the mall looked.

Thomas has a report that indicates that each of the 1.4 million sex dolls sold in the blue states has been used an average of three times, proving that “the repressed states are liberated, and getting a lot of it, and the liberated states are repressed, and hardly getting any.”

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katilac
On 11/4/2020 at 10:04 PM, Hane said:

  After he leaves her, Sara notices he’s left her five hundred-dollar bills.

Kind of a dick move to keep that money if she has a comfortable inheritance. If she returns it in later chapters, please let us know 😄

On 11/5/2020 at 11:35 AM, Hane said:

Spoiler alert: Alabama will be presented as utopian.

We used to visit someone in Alabama on the regular, and the crazy religious billboards were just as reliable as the official state line. 

19 hours ago, Marmion said:

I believe that he's referring to this group in particular .  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weaverland_Old_Order_Mennonite_Conference  From the article  

 Just for fun , here are some pictures of Old Order Mennonites , that I have found .  

  Hide contents

5944425143_9db90720b2_o.jpg

  

  Reveal hidden contents

ba72e3e9e10c6e2dc533360e127e8993.jpg

 

  Reveal hidden contents

mennonitegirls.jpg

 

  Reveal hidden contents

7623102794_cda730f4a4_b.jpg

 

  Reveal hidden contents

7744778588_696dfbb886_b.jpg

 

  Reveal hidden contents

8788390259_398c3505c9_b.jpg

 

  Reveal hidden contents

o7jjrzvmwyvyzqncfi41.jpg

 

These photos should give you all an idea of what Sara Yoder ( I think the characters name sounds more so Amish than Mennonite , in my opinion , by the way . ) 

I was coming to post something similar - he picked the most stereotypical Amish name possible. 

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katilac

 

16 minutes ago, Hane said:

 Thomas says, “Jansen arranged for all these governments to not hassle him if he openly advertised some pretty eccentric—for that time—hiring requirements. They are all pretty standard now, though. He would give bonuses to married men who had at least three children under the age of ten, and he would give additional bonuses for his employees for staying married, and also for additional children. And the base pay was such that the wives and mothers could stay home.” Sure. OK.

 

Once women rediscovered what they are for, it was not long after that that men rediscovered what they are for. And what they are for is protection and provision. Once the protection of women was back in place, the population exploded.” 

Thomas has a report that indicates that each of the 1.4 million sex dolls sold in the blue states has been used an average of three times, proving that “the repressed states are liberated, and getting a lot of it, and the liberated states are repressed, and hardly getting any.”

Screw all you families with three kids OVER ten, apparently.

I will say that my dh works in a very old-fashioned industry, and they gave him a big ol' raise when I got pregnant. And were very open about the fact that, yes, that is what the raise was for. I have college-aged kids, so not that far back in time. 

The idea of people discovering "what they are for" is so gross. 

How do they know how often a sex doll has been used? Are they relying on polling data? We've seen how unreliable that is, lol. Does the doll have a sensor that alerts the company every time it's fucked, like my printer alerts the company every time I print a page? Does disabling the sensor void the warranty? Inquiring minds want to know. 

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