Duggars by the Dozen 40: Acting Like Everything Is Normal in the Middle of a Pandemic

[JermajestyDuggar]

I forgot to add that the oldest Collingsworth daughter singing at that concert is 39 weeks pregnant. They’ve been traveling around giving concerts for the past 2 weeks. 

[xenobia]

1 hour ago, FiveAcres said:

This is one of the reasons I find J Rod's gushing over her "hunk" of a husband to be so weird. The people I know who are in long term partnerships in which both partners still seem to like each other do not, in my experience, gush. 

There is a proven correlation between how obnoxiously happy people want to appear to be on social media, and how unhappy they really are. (At least in my FB-feed). Posting pictures of themselves kissing + writing sugar sweet posts about their partner = divorce coming up within three years. I agree that people who are happy and have healthy relationships don't post about it on social media all the time. They don't have to. 

[KSmom]

6 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I don’t get it either. I swear everything is cancelled where I live. I suppose they can claim it’s a religious service or something. 

We live in the Kansas City area and there are commercials for Branson at the holidays on tv all of the time. Missouri as a state has done very little as far as masks or closings, it’s been up to local cities and counties. I’m not surprised that Branson is acting like everything’s normal, but it does make me mad.

[Idlewild]

@xenobia I agree but I also think that social media PDA is a fundie thing - they love showing kissing photos and gushing about how their spouse is also their best friend, sent by God etc. The Duggars do a lot of it- I used to think it was because of the novelty of physical affection as they were limited to side hugs before marriage but it seems to be a sort of brag- look we are Christian, we have the right type of sex with the right type of person so we are much happier than you heathen types. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 minutes ago, Idlewild said:

@xenobia I agree but I also think that social media PDA is a fundie thing - they love showing kissing photos and gushing about how their spouse is also their best friend, sent by God etc. The Duggars do a lot of it- I used to think it was because of the novelty of physical affection as they were limited to side hugs before marriage but it seems to be a sort of brag- look we are Christian, we have the right type of sex with the right type of person so we are much happier than you heathen types. 

They also act like every damn thing is a “ministry.” They must minister to anyone and everyone that they can in order to convert people to their brand of fundie Christianity. Therefore they use social media as a way to suck people in with their perfect amazing marriages.

[Coconut Flan]

3 hours ago, FiveAcres said:

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would ever be entertaining people in my garage. And looking forward to it. 

We used to think the neighbors who had outfitted their garage as a family room/game room were a little nuts.  Now they look like geniuses.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

Some people don’t have much ability to emphasize with others who may not have had such a good year. It doesn’t mean they’re trying to rub it in. And there’s a limit to how much people should be expected to be sensitive. I’m not going to tell you not to write about your kids because I couldn’t have kids. Of course this year has been such a shitshow that those who did have a good year should know to be quiet about it (beyond major life announcements).

[Satan'sFortress]

6 hours ago, FiveAcres said:

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would ever be entertaining people in my garage. And looking forward to it. 

My son and I went for a walk on Thanksgiving evening--it was pretty mild out that night. We passed a garage dinner!  Honestly it looked so charming and fun, I wanted to join them.  It really made me smile when not much else does these days.  Hope you have a good time!

[GuineaPigCourtship]

I can be rather gushy at home, since I'm big on gratefulness and affirmation with my husband. But that shit is for us, I can't imagine posting about it on social media. Everyone who doesnt know us well will just have to assume we kiss and love each other in the absence of photos and tributes.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Nate Wissmann is at the Duggar house now. Which makes more sense because he seems to be friends with the young unmarried Duggar boys. He’s similar in age to them. It never seemed like Stephen was close friends with all the boys since he’s so much older than all of them. 

[just_ordinary]

17 hours ago, Idlewild said:

@xenobia I agree but I also think that social media PDA is a fundie thing - they love showing kissing photos and gushing about how their spouse is also their best friend, sent by God etc. The Duggars do a lot of it- I used to think it was because of the novelty of physical affection as they were limited to side hugs before marriage but it seems to be a sort of brag- look we are Christian, we have the right type of sex with the right type of person so we are much happier than you heathen types. 

It has also to do with all their ideas of how to interact with each other. And what they believe they need to do to make relationships work. The whole gushing seems to part of the CHEER idea

c- companionship 

h- help him look good

e- encourage 

e- elevate him ... always aka only ever talk positive or with praise about him

r- respond enthusiastically

I am always astonished how many rules those people need to feel capable to build solid and lasting relationships. Probably because they are so stunted in their development in that department, their mindset is highly dysfunctional and therefore prone to disappoint and that’s dangerous to the cult, and because how would they know they are so much better than the rest of the world. Especially those who look the same (married, straight, kids, happy and content). At least they go to hell, while having the same or more perks in this life. That’s why they come with with CHEER or JOY or all those “rules” they try to follow. There is a massive market for Christian marriage advise. You wonder why there is even a market for it........

I do think though, that they also put a shiny facade on and try to keep up with the Jonses. I don’t think that’s all though.

[Mama Mia]

20 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Confession: I’m not a fan of those humble brag end of the year newsletters anyway. My parents only sent out the generic cards when I was growing up. The only newsletter we received was from an extended family member. His wife was such a bragger in general so she bragged a lot in those newsletters. But it’s sad to think about now. Because they are now divorced and their adult kids have had so many legal troubles and drug issues. So I know those newsletters are often just BS.

This makes me miss the Christmas Letters my mother-in-law wrote years ago. She didn’t gloss over anything! She put everyone on blast. Daughter chose a bad guy and just kicked him out? You heard it here first. Son will be trying to get his life back on track after another trip to jail - here’s where to send the commissary money. Daughter 2 THINKS she’s putting on a good show of looking happy- let me tell you how she’s depressed because of some trauma that happened when she was 10.  
Every year people would be both love and hate getting that letter 

[JanasTattooParlor]

17 hours ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

Some people don’t have much ability to emphasize with others who may not have had such a good year. It doesn’t mean they’re trying to rub it in. And there’s a limit to how much people should be expected to be sensitive. I’m not going to tell you not to write about your kids because I couldn’t have kids. Of course this year has been such a shitshow that those who did have a good year should know to be quiet about it (beyond major life announcements).

This!! I have a friend who is incredibly sensitive to everything this year and keeps posting vague angry things on her social media about actively judging people who are posting about the happy things in their lives. Like most recently, she posted telling people that it’s rude to post a memory of you graduating because some people won’t get to walk across a stage this year. Nevermind that the person she was directing that at never walked across a stage either because her grandma died the week of her Master’s graduation last year. I get being sensitive, but if posting about happy things that are happening to you is the only thing keeping you sane this year, then you shouldn’t have people policing you and telling you that that’s wrong. This same friend also texted me reaming me out for having a bachelorette party this summer without knowing that there were only four of us, we quarantined for two weeks before and after the event and we stayed in a lake house all weekend and had food doordashed or we cooked. I just can’t deal with people like that this year.

[HeartsAFundie]

20 hours ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

Some people don’t have much ability to emphasize with others who may not have had such a good year. It doesn’t mean they’re trying to rub it in. And there’s a limit to how much people should be expected to be sensitive. I’m not going to tell you not to write about your kids because I couldn’t have kids. Of course this year has been such a shitshow that those who did have a good year should know to be quiet about it (beyond major life announcements).

In my sister's case, I told my BFF-who agreed 100%-to chalk it up to cluelessness as opposed to rubbing it in.  Like you said, it has more to do with empathy or lack thereof. 

Edited December 15, 2020 by HeartsAFundie

[clueliss]

22 hours ago, KSmom said:

We live in the Kansas City area and there are commercials for Branson at the holidays on tv all of the time. Missouri as a state has done very little as far as masks or closings, it’s been up to local cities and counties. I’m not surprised that Branson is acting like everything’s normal, but it does make me mad.

I checked after I saw the original post.  Branson DOES have a mask ordinance.  But who knows if it is actually being enforced.

[Grace]

1 hour ago, clueliss said:

I checked after I saw the original post.  Branson DOES have a mask ordinance.  But who knows if it is actually being enforced.

I don't know about the town in general but I think the theme park there that is the main attraction is enforcing it. When people from around here have posted photos of going to Silver Dollar City they have had masks on mostly unless they're eating or doing a family photo op in front of a giant rocking chair or whatever.

[theotherelise]

As a Missourian, I wouldn't call Silver Dollar City the main attraction of Branson at all. You've got all the shows and the Branson Landing and outdoor stuff at Table Rock Lake. 

I watched some of the local hearing where the city council or health board or whatever in Branson voted on the mask ordinance. Yakov Smirnoff testified against, so that's something. The hearing was pretty bleak. Props to the public officials for making that decision under such immense pressure. It's really depressing that our Governor never stepped up to do a statewide mandate. 

While I imagine adherence to the mask mandates in Branson isn't high, I expect the venues are enforcing capacity limits at least. In another year, the Collingsworths would have had a completely sold out show, but there are empty seats in that picture. The kind of people who go to a Collingsworth show probably have a disproportionate amount of "medical reasons I can't wear a mask." ?

The hospital systems in southwest MO are absolutely on the brink right now. 

[AussieKrissy]

7 hours ago, Mama Mia said:

This makes me miss the Christmas Letters my mother-in-law wrote years ago. She didn’t gloss over anything! She put everyone on blast. Daughter chose a bad guy and just kicked him out? You heard it here first. Son will be trying to get his life back on track after another trip to jail - here’s where to send the commissary money. Daughter 2 THINKS she’s putting on a good show of looking happy- let me tell you how she’s depressed because of some trauma that happened when she was 10.  
Every year people would be both love and hate getting that letter 

Oh now I miss them too.... lol

[JMO]

So all the Duggars had a holiday ugly sweater party and all the Duggar ladies (including the babies) had a Christmas party as well.  WTAF. I'm so pissed at the flagrant disregard.  Not to mention there was one girl I didn't recognize.  Anyone know who she is?

[justmy2cents]

31 minutes ago, JMO said:

So all the Duggars had a holiday ugly sweater party and all the Duggar ladies (including the babies) had a Christmas party as well.  WTAF. I'm so pissed at the flagrant disregard.  Not to mention there was one girl I didn't recognize.  Anyone know who she is?

That's Ben's little sister, Faith Seewald.

[feministxtian]

On 12/14/2020 at 12:07 PM, Idlewild said:

I agree but I also think that social media PDA is a fundie thing - they love showing kissing photos and gushing about how their spouse is also their best friend, sent by God etc.

In our 22 years together, I don't think there is even a picture of me and Mr. Xtian kissing in existence. I mean, we did, and often, but never felt the need to photograph it. We were a very affectionate couple, had no problem with PDA but never felt the need to memorialize it. Yes, he was my best friend, yes, I believe God sent him to me, and yes, I miss him like crazy...BUT...I don't need to go constantly talking about it. 

[OrchidBlossom]

22 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

In our 22 years together, I don't think there is even a picture of me and Mr. Xtian kissing in existence. I mean, we did, and often, but never felt the need to photograph it. We were a very affectionate couple, had no problem with PDA but never felt the need to memorialize it. Yes, he was my best friend, yes, I believe God sent him to me, and yes, I miss him like crazy...BUT...I don't need to go constantly talking about it. 

There exists exactly two photos of my fiance and I kissing. One captured candidly by a friend on my birthday this past year, one captured candidly by a passerby for us the day he proposed. That feels like more than enough, other than I suppose at the wedding or something when I'd guess it's likely we might get another shot or two of us kissing. I can't understand people who take photos of themselves making out often. 

I once knew a girl who had her mother follow her and her boyfriend on the date at which they planned(!!) to have their first kiss and had the mother photograph this kiss. At a variety of angles. Including a close up. Then she posted it to facebook. I was very uncomfy about it. 

[feministxtian]

4 minutes ago, OrchidBlossom said:

I once knew a girl who had her mother follow her and her boyfriend on the date at which they planned(!!) to have their first kiss and had the mother photograph this kiss. At a variety of angles. Including a close up. Then she posted it to facebook. I was very uncomfy about it. 

Yeah...no. That's just way too creepy for me. I am glad as hell there are no pictures in existence of me and my first boyfriend. Come to think of it, I don't think there are any PDA pictures of me and any boyfriend/spouse in existence. 

And yes, the couples who post all those PDA pictures are mostly trying to prove that they're in love, everything is just hunky-dory, all that shit...thing is I know so many who posted those pictures just to hear about a break up not too long after. 

[OrchidBlossom]

3 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

Yeah...no. That's just way too creepy for me. I am glad as hell there are no pictures in existence of me and my first boyfriend. Come to think of it, I don't think there are any PDA pictures of me and any boyfriend/spouse in existence. 

It was way too creepy for everyone else too. Though, this person is still with that boyfriend so... uh, maybe it works for them?

[ADoyle90815]

In the time I've been with my fiancee before and after we got engaged, there are no PDA pictures of us. The closest might have been of us holding hands while sitting on a friend's couch several years ago at an ugly sweater party, but that's it.