Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 22

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"Hot Drop Box"

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The Republicans are cheating again. What do you mean you’re not surprised? There are two things Republicans do very well. Cheat and accuse others of cheating.

Donald Trump screams that Ukraine helped Hillary Clinton in 2016 while the undisputed fact is he was helped greatly by Russia. I don’t believe Donald Trump would be president (sic) today if Russia didn’t meddle into our election. Donald Trump has even claimed Russia favored Clinton in that election. That’s like claiming she’s the one who keeps sending Quarter Pounders to the White House.

During the 2020 election, Republicans are wailing about China and Iran helping Joe Biden, which they may be doing to some degree, while ignoring that the greatest meddler is once again Russia…in favor of Donald Trump. The Attorney General, William Barr, even went on CNN and without any proof, said China is the greater threat in this election. But then again, William Barr is Donald Trump’s personal butt poodle.

Here’s a lesson in Voting 101, kids: Don’t vote for the candidate endorsed by Russia. It’s a simple voting primer that a lot of people don’t seem to understand…or care about.

Republicans also claim Democrats are tampering with ballots. Every time some Democratic operative gets caught messing with ballot applications, they ignore the word “application” and they ignore North Carolina. What happened in North Carolina? Eight people were indicted on charges related to tampering with ballots, not applications, to help a Republican in the 2018 midterm congressional elections.

These Republicans complaining about voter fraud are the same people who warn us about gay culture while also drilling glory holes in men’s rooms at airports and truck stops.

After the 2016 election, in which Donald Trump was a sore winner, he claimed millions of people voted illegally without any proof. He created an election commission to investigate this alleged voter fraud that was really a project to collect voter data, possibly to harass or discover whom to invalidate in the future. The commission demanded every state to turn over all its voter information, such as addresses for every voter in the nation. The commission was quietly disbanded after being unable to find any evidence that millions had voted illegally. All they left behind were offices with men’s rooms full of glory holes.

During the 2018 election, Republicans worked to invalidate college voters in Texas, Native American voters in North Dakota, and black voters in Georgia. In Georgia, the Republican running for governor was the same guy responsible for operating a safe and fair election. What did he do? He removed thousands of black voters from the voter rolls. Guess what happened next. He won the election. Surprise! Who woulda seen that coming?

I’m surprised I haven’t heard the Republicans argue they wouldn’t have to engage in so much voter suppression if all these minorities wouldn’t keep trying to vote.

President Barack Obama pointed out yesterday that even the far right in Europe doesn’t work to suppress the vote. We are the only Democratic nation that discourages voting. Seriously. Keep in mind, voting is your constitutional right. No party or elected official should be able to take away that right.

In Florida, a state run by Republicans, ruled that felons can’t restore their constitutional right to vote until they’ve paid off their fines. Enter Democratic billionaire Michael Bloomberg who is paying off thousands of these fines. Republicans are now accusing him of buying the votes while ignoring that they literally enacted a poll tax.

As we head to this election, Trump and Republicans are doing all they can to suppress the vote. And if they can’t suppress it, they’re planting seeds of doubt.

They rail against mail-in ballots except in states where Republicans control the election (like Florida). Seriously. Donald Trump has said if he doesn’t win, then the election was corrupt. Republicans are fighting in state courts across the nation trying to invalidate any ballots that arrive after election day, even if they’re postmarked on election day. How can you tell Republicans were in court? The court’s men’s rooms are full of glory holes.

Personally, I think if our tax filings can arrive after the due date as long as they’re postmarked by it, then we can do the same with our ballots.

Donald Trump has even planted a goon to run the post office in efforts to tamper with mail-in ballots.

We’re worried the United States Postal Service can’t deliver fewer than 138 million ballots between now and the election, while they deliver nearly 900 million packages between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Donald Trump has been so successful at planting seeds of doubts, that even liberals are afraid to put a stamp on their ballot and stick it in the mail. I applied for a mail-in ballot and even after I received it, I took it to an official drop box at the registrar’s office just because I got paranoid that Donald Trump was fucking with the mail. And I live in a blue state.

I’m really glad I used an official drop box for my ballot. At least I think I did. It was in front of the registrar’s office and not in front of a gun store.

Yeah, in California, one party has set up phony drop boxes to fuck with voters. I’ll give you a hint in which party is doing this chicanery in that the party doing it is not the Democratic Party. Some of these are in locations like gun stores, gas stations, churches, and even GOP offices. Some of these are marked as “official” state drop boxes when they’re not. They’re also not complying with state-required security features.

The thing is, in California, ballot harvesting is legal. What’s ballot harvesting? It’s what the Republican fuckers in North Carolina was doing. It’s where you grab a bunch of ballots and you turn them in. It’s something Republicans complain about while doing. And in case you’re a Republican, I’ll explain it to you more simply. It’s like a glory hole harvesting penises, but with ballots.

The Republican Party says it’s on the up-and-up yet they won’t say how many of these ballot boxes there are or how many. Also, the state has sent them a cease-and-desist letter and they’ve replied, “no.” They will not cease. They will not desist. They will continue to harvest ballots while complaining about harvesting ballots.

Once again, Republicans are lying hypocritical cheating fuckers.

And in Texas, they’re reducing the number of ballot drop boxes to one per county, no matter how large the county is. So, in California, Republicans are creating more drop boxes (all unofficial) to confuse people and in Texas, they’re reducing the number of “official” drop boxes to confuse people.

To sum up, let’s go over a few tips:

Don’t vote for the candidate endorsed by Russians. 2. Don’t drop your ballot off at a gas station. If you’re not going to trust the sushi, don’t trust Gomer and Goober with your ballot. 3. Vote in person or drop your ballot off AT the registrar’s office because of number 4 which is… 4. Don’t trust Republicans. 5. If there’s a hole in your bathroom stall…run.

Republicans can’t win this election fairly. They know this because they didn’t win the last one fairly. Republicans cheat, lie, and steal. And if we allow it, they’ll steal this election.

Don’t let them steal your vote. Don’t let them steal this election. Don’t let them steal our White House which, by now…is probably full of glory holes.

 

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