Mom's Corner by Teri

[ophelia]

11 hours ago, fundiefan said:

Explains a lot about the lack of progress between the first book and the latest. No growth, no skills development, no character development, no nothing. Just a drone doing what she's told to do by daddy & mommy. 

Writing books is probably a measure to keep Sarah sweet and busy so she might not realize how much her parents fucked up her life.

[Ozlsn]

11 hours ago, kpmom said:

Teri and Steve don't want to give children "appetites" for spending their teen years reading??

Teri writes in the latest Mom's Corner;

"We don’t, however, want to give these children appetites for reading that will cause them to spend hours upon hours of profitable teen, young adult, and adult years entertaining themselves reading books. While they are young and most of their free time is spent playing, reading is a productive alternative use of their time. But that changes, starting in the teen years, when overdone. We also don’t want to expose our children to ungodly and unwholesome material simply to give them something to read, even if it might be acceptable with other Christians"

What the hell Maxwells?  Never have I ever heard of a parent trying to discourage reading in children of any age! 

I guess by giving them slop like what Sarah writes won't encourage a love of reading for children, so that's ok then.

So reading is acceptable as long as it's for enlightenment or punishment.

Oh Teri, you pathetic wizened husk of a human being, I hope all your children and grandchildren read every book they can get their hands on.

[MamaJunebug]

4 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

Oh Teri, you pathetic wizened husk of a human being, I hope all your children and grandchildren read every book they can get their hands on.

You have a way with the words, my friend. Thank you for sharing it here. 

[fundiefan]

5 hours ago, ophelia said:

Writing books is probably a measure to keep Sarah sweet and busy so she might not realize how much her parents fucked up her life.

I've said often that Sarah's "writing" is nothing more than busy work. I believe it now more than I probably ever have, after reading Teri's latest. 

[Jana814]

20 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

I've said often that Sarah's "writing" is nothing more than busy work. I believe it now more than I probably ever have, after reading Teri's latest. 

Exactly it was a way to keep her occupied because she wasn’t courting anyone. They probably thought she might write a book or 2 then she would be married &  would stop. I don’t think they thought it would become a series. 
 

I’ve mentioned before about the baby sitters club book series. The writer was only going to write 4 books, however, they become so popular that the series continued to a point where was a whole team at the publishing company who wrote several books each in the series. 

[Howl]

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and then speak out the grateful thoughts instead. Steve told me how much that thrills his heart when he hears that.  

Disclaimer: I fully understand the power of APPROPRIATE positive thinking, and saying a kind word when a harsh word comes to mind in a healthy emotional situation. 

Teri: has ungrateful thought, like, "Steve, I hate how much your insane need for control and inability to grow emotionally has stunted the emotional lives of me and our children. Also, untreated depression."

Also Teri: "Steve, I had an ungrateful [bitter!] heart over how much you've destroyed the mental lives of me and our children.  Now I've turned it around and am soooooo grateful that you haven't grown emotionally and in turn have kept us in emotional and intellectual bondage and destroyed the chances of our two daughters to marry and have kids!"

Steve: This thrills my heart! 

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"We don’t, however, want to give these children appetites for reading that will cause them to spend hours upon hours of profitable teen, young adult, and adult years entertaining themselves reading books..."

Teri and Steve consider make work, slicing lettuce with a pizza cutter, worshiping a schedule, cleaning fan blades, actively not enjoying life and so forth, to be profitable time.

The worse thing in Maxhell is to own your own mind and have an active mental life.  Everything they do is designed to shut that down and color within the constricting lines laid out by Steve, who still has PTSD from glimpsing the tops of a woman's breasts and has never asked himself why.

That a few of the boys have escaped from this level of control to any degree is somewhat amazing. 

[allyisyourpally5]

2 hours ago, Howl said:

 

The worse thing in Maxhell is to own your own mind and have an active mental life.  Everything they do is designed to shut that down and color within the constricting lines laid out by Steve, who still has PTSD from glimpsing the tops of a woman's breasts and has never asked himself why.

That a few of the boys have escaped from this level of control to any degree is somewhat amazing. 

Yes - the post about Mary and the orthodontist also said this - Steve asked can you imagine what life would be like at home if you let children believe they are their own person?!?

I just imagine their house sometimes.....those little things that I’m sure are said to the girls constantly about making sure to be grateful? Isn’t it great your not out in the world? You wouldn’t undo all the hard work we’ve put into protecting you, would you? Lots of rhetorical questions essentially in the form of “You’re happy, aren’t you?”

 

I loved reading (still do) as a kid and teen - I never did things wrong from my books. I suppose all it did was spark my imagination. I love the Famous Fuve (very corny English books), there was a series called The Sleepover Club about girls aged about 10 who would always get in trouble at their slumber parties (trouble as in breaking stuff, being too loud, getting revenge on classmates, trouble for arguing or being mean etc) and to be honest looking back I think they were a good lesson when I look back in how to handle situations and how not to. But you know, the characters went to school so that’s out.....

 

They must be so stunted, especially Anna, Mary and Sarah. They’ve been raised in such an isolated bubble. It baffles my mind.

What the heck are they going to do on that long haul flight to Austria if they rebook?! Each seat will have its own TV (I’m sure Steve will ask for everyone’s to be switched off). They don’t read, games are tricky based on the seating - what the hell are they gonna do? On a plane is not the time to preach. People will not take kindly. And the Maxwells wouldn’t have a clue why. 
When I fly (this is the first year I haven’t flown since I was 10!) I plug my ear phones in and watch movies, or listen to my music while reading. Or I’ll play a game downloaded on my iPad or even on the entertainment screen with a stranger - anyone ever played chess or something with a random passenger? If those options are gone......what the hell?

[Giraffe]

In other words Steve is so afraid of reality that he stopped letting them read about the time they would’ve gotten into Judy Blume type books and other YA books where the protagonist questions authority and goes through puberty figuring out they’re not alone in realizing they may be sexual beings. What pathetic parents they are. 

Edited December 3, 2020 by Giraffe
Changed phrasing

[Baxter]

9 hours ago, allyisyourpally5 said:

What the heck are they going to do on that long haul flight to Austria if they rebook?! Each seat will have its own TV (I’m sure Steve will ask for everyone’s to be switched off). They don’t read, games are tricky based on the seating - what the hell are they gonna do? On a plane is not the time to preach. People will not take kindly. And the Maxwells wouldn’t have a clue why. 
When I fly (this is the first year I haven’t flown since I was 10!) I plug my ear phones in and watch movies, or listen to my music while reading. Or I’ll play a game downloaded on my iPad or even on the entertainment screen with a stranger - anyone ever played chess or something with a random passenger? If those options are gone......what the hell?

I imagine that they would read their bibles and pray. Maybe they would be able to play a travel game . Meals and sleeping would take up some time. But my guess is that Steve would think it was an excellent opportunity to get in some extra Bible time.

[allyisyourpally5]

Yeah but if it’s direct it would be around a ten hour flight.....gees 10 hours solid of reading the Bible....ouch.

Maybe they could have a colouring book....

[Bluebirdbluebell]

I'm really, really annoyed at Teri's post. Here's a breakdown:

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With Christmas approaching, are you evaluating Christmas gifts for children? Perhaps you are concerned not to add to the clutter of toys in the home and also want to avoid the worldliness that is part of most of the toys. Books are a good alternative to toys since they take up little space, help a child develop reading skills, are profitable for use of a child’s time, and if the reading material is good, can even move them along in their thinking abilities and maturity. 

I agree books rock! However as a bibliophile, I disagree they take up little space. Books take up a lot of space if you have enough of them. Also it's good to get a balance of gifts; some toys, some books, some clothes, etc. 

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One of the most critical and basic skills our children need is to be able to read and comprehend. They learn the nuts and bolts of reading in school, but fluidity in their reading and comprehension comes through practice. That means we want a well planned and thought out collection of books in our homes for our children to read. 

I agree with the first two sentences. However none of the Maxwells demonstrate fluidity in your writing, which makes me think you're not building fluidity with your reading. 

Also Mama Blue used to buy a book without knowing a thing and we'd really enjoy reading them together. You and your children are missing out by only buying what is well planned. 

Quote

We don’t, however, want to give these children appetites for reading that will cause them to spend hours upon hours of profitable teen, young adult, and adult years entertaining themselves reading books. While they are young and most of their free time is spent playing, reading is a productive alternative use of their time. But that changes, starting in the teen years, when overdone. We also don’t want to expose our children to ungodly and unwholesome material simply to give them something to read, even if it might be acceptable with other Christians.

I don't whether to be angry at the elitist tone or just amused that she pokes fun at her fellow Christians, who agree with them on so much. Personally I would take more care not to offend potential customers, but this seems to be a Music Man strategy: demonize one thing to sell another. 

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So when our children were young, we started on a trek to find books that met our reading criteria. Thirty years ago when we wanted reading materials for our elementary-age children that didn’t conflict with our biblical principles, we struggled. It is even more difficult now. That’s one reason our oldest daughter, Sarah, began writing children’s books almost 20 years ago and now has published 14 titles. She knew what we desired in a child’s book, and she could write to those specifications. Certainly, we won’t all share those same benchmarks for a reading book, but her books have been embraced by conservative Christian families.

First you and Steve must have been really big fault-finders to hate everything. Secondly there are different challenges now, but it's not harder to find good Christian stories. If anything, between self-publishing and the children's and teen's book industries exploding from when Sarah was young, there should be more selection. Of course that raises the problem of how to know which books are good. You could try different books and read them, but that takes too much time when they need to be read in advance to make sure they're Godly enough.

But of course the real outrage in that paragraph is those last two sentences. Sarah is writing books to Steve's and Teri's specifications. You are controlling monsters.  It might also explain why Sarah's books don't seem to change much. Now I'm not a conservative Christian, but I known many, many of them. Not all of them will like these books.  

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Sarah’s goal in her books is to provide positive role models for children and limit or eliminate negative influences. I remember reading books to my children when they were elementary age, or them reading the books on their own, only to have them learn bad attitudes, critical or destructive words, and even negative actions from what they read. That did not benefit them nor our family and wasn’t our goal for their reading time. Certainly the books we allowed them to read were filled with many good and positive words, attitudes, and actions, but our children gravitated more quickly to the negative than to the favorable.

It's called escapism, Teri! People live vicariously through reading books. It doesn't mean we act like that in real life. Also reading about negative actions and seeing that play out in a book might help people to make the right choices. 

Quote

I love hearing about families who write Sarah telling her the positive things they see in their children as a result of reading her books. We even hear of dads and moms whose lives are impacted as well. 

This verse has often influenced our choice of reading material for our children and also for ourselves: “For the report of your obedience has reached to all; therefore I am rejoicing over you, but I want you to be wise in what is good and innocent in what is evil”  (Romans 16:19). This is a powerful directive for all areas of life, including what we read. Are you using that filter to sift the books your children read?

Moms and Dads whose lives are impacted? really?

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Investing in books at gift-giving occasions allows you to build a set of books the gift receiver can enjoy and learn from and that younger siblings can profit from as well.

Why just younger siblings? I thought even adults (moms and dads) could benefit. 

Quote

I know I am Sarah’s mom and have a biased viewpoint, but there are many families who agree with me about Sarah’s books.

You're not just her mother! You are most likely an editor, a beta reader, a brainstormer, etc. And most importantly, the books are written to your specifications! 

Quote

I encourage you to look at and consider one or more of Sarah’s books as a Christmas gift for your children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or other child you gift at Christmas and to be careful in any book you provide your child to read.

Yes, be careful, they might think you're the aunt or uncle who gives boring books. 

Edited December 4, 2020 by Bluebirdbluebell

[allyisyourpally5]

So basically it was just a big fat “Christmas is coming and you should invest in whole sets of our books at once and they are the only good books for Christian children around so buy buy buy or you will not be in Heaven”

[Hane]

On 12/3/2020 at 4:18 AM, Ozlsn said:

So reading is acceptable as long as it's for enlightenment or punishment.

Oh Teri, you pathetic wizened husk of a human being, I hope all your children and grandchildren read every book they can get their hands on.

@Ozlsn , no one could have said it better!

Teri, you have stolen an invaluable gift from your children—a love of reading for pleasure—and have condemned Sarah (who doesn’t enjoy writing anyway) to being a shitty writer as a result.

[Notjean]

How ironic that someone who has three stay-at-home daughters is worried about teens and up wasting time reading for pleasure rather than working.  

I've read one of Sarah's books.  I think watching corn grow would be a better use of my time.  

[Ozlsn]

17 hours ago, allyisyourpally5 said:

Yeah but if it’s direct it would be around a ten hour flight.....gees 10 hours solid of reading the Bible....ouch.

Maybe they could have a colouring book....

From what I can see the most direct flights have one stop, and are about 13-14 hours travelling time. Unfortunately the most direct flights all leave mid-morning Kansas time and arrive in the morning Austrian time, so sleeping if they can would be a good option. Colouring books would work I suppose, and I'm sure there are appropriately Biblically-themed ones available (can't colour those heathen Mandalas!)

Or they could read their travel guides, which would be both useful and educational. Especially if they read the history and culture sections.

[Caroline]

16 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

I'm really, really annoyed at Teri's post. Here's a breakdown:

I agree books rock! However as a bibliophile, I disagree they take up little space. Books take up a lot of space if you have enough of them. Also it's good to get a balance of gifts; some toys, some books, some clothes, etc. 

I agree with the first two sentences. However none of the Maxwells demonstrate fluidity in your writing, which makes me think you're not building fluidity with your reading. 

Also Mama Blue used to buy a book without knowing a thing and we'd really enjoy reading them together. You and your children are missing out by only buying what is well planned. 

I don't whether to be angry at the elitist tone or just amused that she pokes fun at her fellow Christians, who agree with them on so much. Personally I would take more care not to offend potential customers, but this seems to be a Music Man strategy: demonize one thing to sell another. 

First you and Steve must have been really big fault-finders to hate everything. Secondly there are different challenges now, but it's not harder to find good Christian stories. If anything, between self-publishing and the children's and teen's book industries exploding from when Sarah was young, there should be more selection. Of course that raises the problem of how to know which books are good. You could try different books and read them, but that takes too much time when they need to be read in advance to make sure they're Godly enough.

But of course the real outrage in that paragraph is those last two sentences. Sarah is writing books to Steve's and Teri's specifications. You are controlling monsters.  It might also explain why Sarah's books don't seem to change much. Now I'm not a conservative Christian, but I known many, many of them. Not all of them will like these books.  

It's called escapism, Teri! People live vicariously through reading books. It doesn't mean we act like that in real life. Also reading about negative actions and seeing that play out in a book might help people to make the right choices. 

Moms and Dads whose lives are impacted? really?

Why just younger siblings? I thought even adults (moms and dads) could benefit. 

You're not just her mother! You are most likely an editor, a beta reader, a brainstormer, etc. And most importantly, the books are written to your specifications! 

Yes, be careful, they might think you're the aunt or uncle who gives boring books. 

This is a terrific analysis of a paranoid woman's take on not just books but life itself.

How horribly exhausting it must be to have to control everyone and everything.  The older I get (and I'm not much younger than Terri) the less I want to control every aspect of my child's life.  Because it's HER life.  We never said no to a book when she was young, we filled her life with reading, and rarely told her how to spend her time.  We encouraged exercise every day, getting homework done on time, having a part time job, and the normal teenage things, but we didn't supervise her time to the point where she couldn't choose to draw all day if she wanted to when she had the time.  Terri is wrong, wrong, wrong, and I imagine that this need to control has everything to do with her own emotional stress.  

It's so much fun to have a grown up daughter with an excellent education, experience traveling alone in other countries, and an imaginative mind of her own.  I treasure our conversations about very important things and am so glad that she's a talented and contributing member of society who knows what it is to live life to the fullest.  Poor Fundies are just going through the boring motions every day waiting for their lord and savior to show up any day now.  How sad.

Edited December 5, 2020 by Caroline
forgot a word

[mango_fandango]

The only way I can imagine saying no about reading material to a young person (tween age/early adolescence) is if it contained adult/violent material such as rape or similar. I read Jacqueline Wilson’s autobiography of her early teens (from about 11-14) where she mentioned reading Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov and she was really disturbed by it. And she has been vocal in the past about not restricting reading material for kids based on age. 

[MamaJunebug]

Teri would blow a gasket at my story: some pastors were hand-wringing desperately over this new TV show called “The Simpsons.”  Juniors asked if we could watch it. I said sure, let’s see what it really is  and we all watched together. 

As luck would have it, the episode featured Rev. Lovejoy in particularly ridiculous behavior in church. When the ads came on, I asked the Juniors if they’d ever seen one of our pastors act like that. They gave a definite “no” and we all went on to become Simpsons fans. A good bit of our family jargon still is lines from the scripts. 
 

I like to think that somehow the Terifying One reads this story and swoons dead away at the. very thought of a  Christian family TV-watching together and young children being asked for their Input and opinions.  Quelle horreur, as i think they say in france.

[GreenBeans]

4 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

The only way I can imagine saying no about reading material to a young person (tween age/early adolescence) is if it contained adult/violent material such as rape or similar. I read Jacqueline Wilson’s autobiography of her early teens (from about 11-14) where she mentioned reading Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov and she was really disturbed by it. And she has been vocal in the past about not restricting reading material for kids based on age. 

The thought of parents (or anyone, really) restricting reading material is so foreign to me! I’ve never even heard of that. It just doesn’t seem to be common where I’m from (Germany). I went to the library independently from the age of 6 or 7, and chose what books to read on my own. I could borrow whatever books I wanted, and as I got older (and had read all the books in the children’s section), gradually moved up to the teen/young adult/adult sections. I was a voracious reader, so I often read books written for older readers (I remember reading the diary of Anne Frank pretty young, without having heard of it before and being gutted when it didn’t end well). I read the newspaper and news magazines that my parents had subscribed to (I remember reading an in-depth report about HIV/Aids when it first came up, and being scared I might have it). So some of my reading material would probably not be considered suitable for my age by a lot of people, not only fundies. But again, restricting reading material just wasn’t a thing when I grew up, and I’m glad it wasn’t!

Only being allowed to read hand-picked parent-approved books would have been a nightmare for me. And I feel that reading about a wide range of people and topics helped me navigate life and being empathetic towards other people as I grew up. Not to mention a huge vocabulary and never having to practice spelling or grammar. 
 

There is great literature for children (which actually deserves to be called that), and fundies seem to completely ignore  the fact that reading isn’t just about “stories” and children can appreciate great literature. It’s just sad.

[FiveAcres]

20 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

The only way I can imagine saying no about reading material to a young person (tween age/early adolescence) is if it contained adult/violent material such as rape or similar. I read Jacqueline Wilson’s autobiography of her early teens (from about 11-14) where she mentioned reading Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov and she was really disturbed by it. And she has been vocal in the past about not restricting reading material for kids based on age. 

I started reading Orwell's 1984 when I was way too young: perhaps 13? I was used to reading adult books. My mother found me reading it and took it away from me and hid it. I found it and finished. I wish I hadn't. 

[smittykins]

I didn’t read 1984 until senior English class(which happened to be 1984; it was a special edition with a foreword by Walter Cronkite).  I don’t think I would’ve been ready until then.

[Zebedee]

On 12/4/2020 at 10:08 AM, Bluebirdbluebell said:

People live vicariously through reading books. It doesn't mean we act like that in real life.

I don't know whether to be pleased or not about my inability to act like characters in books. I mean, I've read a lot of books involving geniuses and brilliant cooks, yet am neither. However, I've also never felt the desire to become a serial killer either. 
Someone on reddit or somewhere has been posting excerpts from SM "books". If that was all I was ever allowed to read, I think I'd choose functional illiteracy. I'd rather read about sex bots and grilling salmon at 3am in the snow.

[SPHASH]

1 hour ago, Zebedee said:

I don't know whether to be pleased or not about my inability to act like characters in books. I mean, I've read a lot of books involving geniuses and brilliant cooks, yet am neither. However, I've also never felt the desire to become a serial killer either. 
.

This.  I really enjoy the Little House books but that doesn't mean I want to walk three miles to school everyday, plant crops by hand, live in a shanty during a blizzard, or being a teacher the only career option for me.  Although attending a sugaring off in the Big Woods would be fun.

Edited December 6, 2020 by SPHASH
eta

[fundiefan]

I did Christmas shopping for my great niece & nephews this weekend. They are 3, 6 & 14. 

Their mom suggested, for the younger ones, books & something they can "make"/be creative with. For the teenager, my budget can't cover most of his wants, so she just said cash & chocolate. For them all, I typically get them a bag of "stocking stuffer" candy/trinkets along with their gifts. Mostly because I am far from a primary gift giver & when we are all together opening gifts, I like to see them revel in happiness at ALL THE CANDY since I never provide the shiny gift. Plus, great-aunt here. I don't have to put them bed after all that sugar. 

It kind of made me sad for the Maxhell offspring while picking it all out. Growing up without anything fun & random. Nothing just for the sake of being happy in the moment. For the teen, he is getting $25 in cash, but in 5's & singles, each wrapped around a candy bar, stuffed in a bag of more chocolate. For the littles, they got a book each - both have non human characters! the horrors -  to go with their bags of candy & finger paints & stamping kits. 

Nothing edifying. Nothing they can make a living at. But, creativity, imagination, and good old sugar filled fun. 

I don't say this to toot my horn, I'm pretty sure everyone who can does similar - candy is part of the season for kids (and adults). I say this because really, it's so innocuous, so irrelevant to anything - how we shop for loved ones - but it inspires a spark of sadness at the kids who spent their lives experiencing none of it. And while the sad fact of life is that there are far too many kids who don't get to experience it, due to finances/parental situations, the Maxhells had the means to bring joy to their children, they simply chose not to. While the parents without the means would do anything to spark that joy in their children if they could, just for one day. 

I'm pretty sure their god is shaking his/her head at Steve & Teri and how they have deprived their offspring of...life. 

 

[Jana814]

The Maxwell’s have taken any form of joy away from their kids. They are doing the same thing to their grandchildren. They also have issues when people outside of their family don’t raise their children the same they have. They think their way is the only way. 

Edited December 6, 2020 by Jana814