Mom's Corner by Teri

[kpmom]

I’m curious to know if the other brothers besides Christopher have continued the before breakfast (but after dressing) Bible time. 
Steve has talked about Christopher and that family’s Bible time in the past. Does that mean the other brothers aren’t doing it ?  Or at least as much?  I’d love to know.  

[Bluebirdbluebell]

3 minutes ago, kpmom said:

I’m curious to know if the other brothers besides Christopher have continued the before breakfast (but after dressing) Bible time. 
Steve has talked about Christopher and that family’s Bible time in the past. Does that mean the other brothers aren’t doing it ?  Or at least as much?  I’d love to know.  

I think Steve doesn't see Joseph before breakfast as they live close enough to visit, but not stay over.  I also hope John isn't doing this as all of his kids are little, but maybe they are. I'm curious if there's a reason Steve and Teri are needed at Christopher's so often. 

[anjulibai]

27 minutes ago, kpmom said:

I’m curious to know if the other brothers besides Christopher have continued the before breakfast (but after dressing) Bible time. 
Steve has talked about Christopher and that family’s Bible time in the past. Does that mean the other brothers aren’t doing it ?  Or at least as much?  I’d love to know.  

Given how much he harps on it, and talks up Christopher's family for it, I think the answer is the others aren't doing it as much or in a way Steve approves. 

[hoipolloi]

16 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

Given how much he harps on it, and talks up Christopher's family for it, I think the answer is the others aren't doing it as much or in a way Steve approves. 

Bingo. Steve is pretty transparent. He probably throws constant shade at the children who don't do things his way by writing the Dad & Mom columns so as to target behavior he dislikes.

Again, Steve, if you are reading here, you need to repent. We see you for what you are and so do your children. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I can’t help but be very glad at the thought of Max grandchildren being raised differently. Even if it is in a small way.

[anachronistic]

I don’t understand getting dressed before breakfast for little kids, when there is a good chance they’ll end up with half their breakfast on them, but then again the Chris Maxwells are probably trained to be neater than most little kids. 

[Jana814]

8 minutes ago, anachronistic said:

but then again the Chris Maxwells are probably trained to be neater than most little kids. 

Im sure they are. Steve Maxwell wouldn’t allow his kids to act like kids (no birthday parties not being allowed outside friends) & I have a feeling Chris is doing the same thing. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

1 hour ago, Jana814 said:

I have a feeling Chris is doing the same thing. 

I think that Chris, because he was denied so much growing up Maxwell, has doubled/ tripled down and become the dog in the manager to his children. and everyone else. As he wasn't allowed to XXX, his children won't be allowed to XXX, or YYY or ZZZ. It wouldn't be fair if his children had and could do things Chris wasn't allowed

Stevehovah yanked Chris out of sports, public school, outside friendships, outside interactions. He stopped him from having a childhood. He forced those weird fully street clothed basement fake gym workouts. He forced the 15-min schedules and the odd diet and food restrictions. Steve forced those yearly Death March hikes and attendance to help and "witness" at the fundie conventions. Steve dictated the buy a house for cash, must live on the same street rules.

Worst of all, Stevehovah stopped Chris from being an EMT which he wanted.  He pushed Chris into photography, which he's not very good at and doesn't seems to want or enjoy.

Based on noting but a hunch and the fact Chris remembers pre-Stevehovah Land days, I believe the doubling down and strict adherence to Stevehovah rules is how Chris keeps his anger in check.

I think there is a well of fury deep inside Chris and in order to stifle it he lives and breathes Stevehovah's rules. If Chris flouts the rules, he would have to admit Steve was so very very very wrong, and admit how furious he is that Steve blighted his life.

 

 

 

[Nothing if not critical]

2 hours ago, anachronistic said:

I don’t understand getting dressed before breakfast for little kids, when there is a good chance they’ll end up with half their breakfast on them, but then again the Chris Maxwells are probably trained to be neater than most little kids. 

I believe they use those massive plastic bibs with sleeves and a kind of pocket to catch food, even for the older kids, so that might not be an issue.

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 hours ago, anachronistic said:

I don’t understand getting dressed before breakfast for little kids, when there is a good chance they’ll end up with half their breakfast on them, but then again the Chris Maxwells are probably trained to be neater than most little kids. 

They make their kids wear those big bulky rubber bibs until they are 5. It’s one of those small Maxwell rules that drive me absolutely crazy for no reason 😂

[SPHASH]

Perhaps there has been some rebellion with the Chris Maxwell kids.  Chris took Joshua with him to the fair for the animal balloon ministry.  I bet Joshua saw all the rides and fun other kids were having and felt sad he couldn't partake.  IIRC correctly Joshua is involved in Bible Bee which means they may have met other kids who don't have to wear polo shirts and frumpers all the time.  I bet they have probably questioned some things which would be considered rebellion in Maxhell

 

Edited April 14, 2023 by SPHASH

[Alisamer]

21 hours ago, kpmom said:

I’m curious to know if the other brothers besides Christopher have continued the before breakfast (but after dressing) Bible time. 
Steve has talked about Christopher and that family’s Bible time in the past. Does that mean the other brothers aren’t doing it ?  Or at least as much?  I’d love to know.  

My question is why the heck does Steve know so much about the minutia of Christopher's family's schedule? Especially since they seem to consider married-off children to be "extended family". 

Like I'm pretty open and an oversharer, but I'm sure my parents have no idea what my morning routine looks like.  Nor do they care. And I live next door to them! And my mom tends toward the nosy! 

I strongly suspect that with at least some of the children there's a lot of assumptions going on, on Steve's part. "You have Bible time with the kids every day, right?" "Sure, dad." "Morning before breakfast but after they are dressed is the best time for that you know." "Of course, dad." 

I doubt any of them lie to him outright. But I bet there's a decent amount of letting him assume what he wants. 

[hoipolloi]

1 hour ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

If Chris flouts the rules, he would have to admit Steve was so very very very wrong, and admit how furious he is that Steve blighted his life.

Highly likely, and this makes me wonder how Chris views his sisters' liberation from being their parents' indentured servants. 

 

9 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

But I bet there's a decent amount of letting him assume what he wants

Yes. With the other married sons, who are not living so close by, this probably works pretty well  but it must be awkward sometimes for Chris since Steve & Teri seem to be in their pockets. Your points though about the completely inappropriate intrusion into another family's daily life are well taken. Who does that?

When we visit our kid & family, we certainly see and are told about routines, etc. especially since we offer to help with child care, pick ups after school or grocery shopping. If, however, we lived in the same town, we would do what we could to preserve household privacy and autonomy. It is always nice to be asked for help but that's because they are *free* to decide if, how, and when that help will be requested.

[ElizaB]

Wasn’t it a thing that morning was “personal” Bible time where they read to themselves? I thought I recall from looking at old schedules that they had to be fairly old before being given the “privilege ” to wake up early and join in this. A lot of the max grandkids would be exempt from this even in Steve’s house because of age. 

[Alisamer]

4 minutes ago, ElizaB said:

Wasn’t it a thing that morning was “personal” Bible time where they read to themselves? I thought I recall from looking at old schedules that they had to be fairly old before being given the “privilege ” to wake up early and join in this. A lot of the max grandkids would be exempt from this even in Steve’s house because of age. 

That age restriction likely had a lot more to do with Teri wanting them to stay in bed as long as possible before she had to deal with them than anything else. I have no doubt Steve would have had them sitting in on Bible time from infancy, but it wasn't important enough to him that he'd insist that Teri get them up and dressed and such first. Or for him to be the one to get them up and ready. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

2 hours ago, Alisamer said:

My question is why the heck does Steve know so much about the minutia of Christopher's family's schedule? Especially since they seem to consider married-off children to be "extended family". 

Like I'm pretty open and an oversharer, but I'm sure my parents have no idea what my morning routine looks like.  Nor do they care. And I live next door to them! And my mom tends toward the nosy! 

I strongly suspect that with at least some of the children there's a lot of assumptions going on, on Steve's part. "You have Bible time with the kids every day, right?" "Sure, dad." "Morning before breakfast but after they are dressed is the best time for that you know." "Of course, dad." 

I doubt any of them lie to him outright. But I bet there's a decent amount of letting him assume what he wants. 

That was my question. Maybe Steve and Teri were over more when she had cancer? Supposedly she has completely recovered, but maybe lasting health issues mean she needs more help? Or maybe they need more help if Anna Marie is pregnant? Of course it's hard to know what is going on? Anna Marie seems as much a hardliner as Steve. I think she and Christopher both came from very strict fundie families and they seem to be equally fundie. 

[SPHASH]

Bible Time at Chris's got me thinking of a recent post on Am I The Asshole on Reddit.  Woman posts about her husband's parents came to visit and insisted on taking the kids out every night during the school week...movies, hockey games.  As a result homework didn't get done and kids had trouble getting up in the morning due to getting home late.  Woman got so frustrated she went and stayed with her parents the rest of the time her in laws were there, of course husband was no help.  In laws complained the evening was the only time they got to see them since they were in school during the day.  She asked if she was the Asshole for insisting kids stay to routine and not do outings on a school night, the majority said no.

Edited April 14, 2023 by SPHASH

[JermajestyDuggar]

10 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

Bible Time at Chris's got me thinking of a recent post on Am I The Asshole on Reddit.  Woman posts about her husband's parents came to visit and insisted on taking the kids out every night during the school week...movies, hockey games.  As a result homework didn't get done and kids had trouble getting up in the morning due to getting home late.  Woman got so frustrated she went and stayed with her parents the rest of the time her in laws were there, of course husband was no help.  In laws complained the evening was the only time they got to see them since they were in school during the day.  She asked if she was the Asshole for insisting kids stay to routine and not do outings on a school night, the majority said no.

My question is why the grandparents don’t visit during school breaks. That’s on them. I’m sure there is a winter break, spring break, and summer break. Most schools have those breaks.

[Howl]

4 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

As he wasn't allowed to XXX, his children won't be allowed to XXX, or YYY or ZZZ. It wouldn't be fair if his children had and could do things Chris wasn't allowed.

One of the saddest,  most depressing and probably truest,  things I've ever read.  This is how multi-generational crazy happens and is amplified.  So utterly cruel to deprive a child of childhood joys, experiences and the fun of socializing with fellow little humans. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 minutes ago, Howl said:

One of the saddest,  most depressing and probably truest,  things I've ever read.  This is how multi-generational crazy happens and is amplified.  So utterly cruel to deprive a child of childhood joys, experiences and the fun of socializing with fellow little humans. 

I wouldn’t say I had an overall bad or good childhood. It was mixed with a lot of good and bad. But if the bad things, I try so hard to avoid them with my kids. And I would say that’s common among a lot of parents. But some parents just can’t stray away from what they were taught. I could see Chris being that way. Especially after Anna’s cancer. I think some fundies blame themselves for horrible medical issues. I wonder if Chris feels like being a perfect Christian will make the cancer stay away. 

[Black Aliss]

On 4/12/2023 at 4:40 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I do wonder how the cancer treatments may have affected Anna’s fertility. It’s possible they are done because of that. Or they might choose not to get pregnant because of the cancer. I would love it if Joe goes very mainstream and says 3 is a good number and are done. But who knows with them. They are pretty private about that sort of thing. Chelsy has health issues so I hope there’s a big gap between Maddie and the next. 

I hope Joe and John and Jesse all decide that with so many cousins, 3 is plenty. And I didn't mention Chelsey, Anna, and Elissa because I don't think they get to decide.

9 hours ago, anachronistic said:

I don’t understand getting dressed before breakfast for little kids, when there is a good chance they’ll end up with half their breakfast on them, but then again the Chris Maxwells are probably trained to be neater than most little kids. 

And they wear those big, honkin' hard-plastic bibs with spill-catchers on the bottom.

 

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

 But some parents just can’t stray away from what they were taught. I could see Chris being that way. Especially after Anna’s cancer. I think some fundies blame themselves for horrible medical issues. I wonder if Chris feels like being a perfect Christian will make the cancer stay away. 

Chris was a pious ass long before Anna got cancer. Exhibit A: his rules for whose weddings he would and would not photograph.

5 hours ago, hoipolloi said:

this makes me wonder how Chris views his sisters' liberation from being their parents' indentured servants. 

There may be a reason beyond Sarah knowing Chris is incompetent why he didn't photograph her wedding. He may not have approved. We can be pretty confident Steve did not. I'd have to look at Chelsey's after-wedding party photos to see if Chris, et al, attended. I remember the reversals and Gigi were there and Steve and Teri were not.

[SPHASH]

Chris was at the post wedding party

 

[ElizaB]

2 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

. I'd have to look at Chelsey's after-wedding party photos to see if Chris, et al, attended. I remember the reversals and Gigi were there and Steve and Teri were not.

I don’t think we can really say that Steve and Teri were not at the after party. There was one picture posted on chelseys blog that they were not in - but that really doesn’t mean they weren’t there. They could have either not arrived yet or already left. They could have also simply not been in the shot- this was definitely not a group picture 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, SPHASH said:

Chris was at the post wedding party

 

I’m 12 so your arrow looks phallic to me. Which makes sense because Chris does seem like a dick.

[ClareDeLune]

There might be mutual benefits from Steve and Teri hanging out at Christopher and Anna's house. Anna is the most natural fundie of the daughter in laws, so it might be nice for her to have extended family who share similar views. And she probably also benefits from the rest from responsibility if there are more adults around to occupy the children. 

And Teri is probably on the edge of depression all day long, rattling round that huge house, keeping it clean on her own, eating salad nearly every mealtime and having no-one but Steve to talk to.

And Steve may have gone even further over the deep end with religiosity and he may mellow a bit, or at least be more manageable if he can be shared out between people who probably do love him, and also probably find him far too much at the same time. I doubt church is much fun for him now he is no longer the pastor of a family church.

Not sure what to make of Chris. Maybe he is genuinely into their fundie ways?  He doesn't seem to have as stable a career as the others, I wonder if there is still enough interest in fundie communities for their family to do touring bible conferences once the kids are a bit older and all 'trained' to model fundie behaviour to the next generation?