Mom's Corner by Teri

[Jana814]

Steve & Teri would never loosen up. I have a friend who’s paternal grandmother had dementia. So she couldn’t do a lot of things with her grandkids. My friend never questioned it but her younger cousins did. In the case of a few of my friend’s cousins their other grandparents would do fun things with them & would go to their school events they didn’t understand why their other grandmother didn’t. 

[Maggie Mae]

On 10/4/2022 at 4:54 AM, fundiewatch said:

I wonder if they kept the girls’ room intact with the bunkbeds, for grandchildren sleepovers etc. Or passed the bunks on to one of the relatives. If so I cannot imagine Terri’s process with that. The microwave/homeschool materials cart with the Pepsi shelf was deeply grieved when it was repurposed. 

I'm wondering how long before they decide to downsize their house. My grandfather planned for his house and acreage to remain in the family, however, after his death, it turned out that no one wanted that responsibility and the house was sold and cash was divided up. With the cost of, well, everything these days, it would make sense to sell the big house, put Steve and Teri in a smaller space that would cost less in property taxes/heating costs/cooling costs, etc. Nathen, Christopher, both have homes big enough to host everyone for a holiday, and honestly as they get older people's priorities change. You think you want these giant homes to host grandkids, but as they face mobility issues, things change. 

They might not even be having all-family gatherings anymore. They had enough trouble scheduling stuff when five of the kids lived with Steve/Terri and the others lived next door. 

[duggerme]

My mother was 74 when my kid was born. (Dad had passed several years before). There were 2 other grandkids already, 5 and 8 years old.  Each of them would tell you that they were her favorite.  She lived nearby, and made sure to have special overnights with favorite foods, regularly.  This lasted until my kid was a teenager (older ones went off to college) and mom developed cancer.  She was a pain as a mom, but excelled at being a grandma.  I really believe having the relationships with the kids kept her healthy far longer than anyone in her family had until that point.  

[noseybutt]

8 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

 

They might not even be having all-family gatherings anymore. They had enough trouble scheduling stuff when five of the kids lived with Steve/Terri and the others lived next door. 

I am imagining a day long schedule carefully prayed over and broken down into 15 minute increments with various adult children and grandkids wandering in at precise times and cycling through various groups before exiting at a precise predetermined time.

And even 15 minutes left over to work on a sewing project! 

[Hellothere]

I'm surprised Teri  isn't more active posting in Moms Corner to promote their books/materials to help get rid of the stock in their basement "store". Wonder if she and Steve have booked speaking engagements at any 2023 home school conferences so they can have a booth and sell things there?   Or maybe starting a few years ago they had planned to scale things back and ultimately close down TitusII as they were getting older so they hadn't been ordering as many printed materials to keep in the basement?  

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I think Teri and Stevehovah assumed perpetual SAHD Sarah would take over Titus II. I mean what else did she have to look forward to as God was withholding a husband from her.

Sarah would be ably assisted by Mary and Anna when they weren't playing nannies to all their nieces/nephews

I also think Teri and Stevehovah assumed the 3 daughters would be their old-age caregivers.

Fortunately this is not the future facing Sarah, Mary and Anna.

I think Stevehovah is absolutely fuming his plans were thwarted and he can't control his grown daughters' lives. Terri is passively aggressively ticked off she's been abandoned and stuck alone with Stevehovah.

I wonder if she still puts the toothpaste on the brush for him?

Edited October 9, 2022 by Red Hair, Black Dress

[danvillebelle]

We have a tradition in my family of grandkids spending a week or two in the summer with grandparents.  My grandson will be the 4th generation to do this, and I can't wait.  So many wonderful family memories and stories come from these summer visits.  I adored mine; it was the time I grew really close to my grandmothers.  My older son wrote an essay once detailing all his special memories from spending a week every summer with my parents and it made me cry.  Steve and Teri don't know what they're missing.

Edited October 10, 2022 by danvillebelle

[Loveday]

5 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

We have a tradition in my family of grandkids spending a week or two in the summer with grandparents.  My grandson will be the 4th generation to do this, and I can't wait.  So many wonderful family memories and stories come from these summer visits.  I adored mine; it was the time I grew really close to my grandmothers.  My older son wrote an essay once detailing all his special memories from spending a week every summer with my parents and it made me cry.  Steve and Teri don't know what they're missing.

We had this tradition too. It was especially important for those of us who lived far away from our grandparents to have that time just for us to be with Grandma and Grandpa. Of course, I had two cousins, sisters, who lived for several years when they were little just down the street from our grandparents, and I was SO jealous! They could just go down the sidewalk and be with them in about 90 seconds! So unfair, I've never gotten over the injustice. 😭

[Jana814]

I wish I got to spend the night alone with my grandmother. But that never happened. I think George & Barbra Bush had their grandkids spends weeks with them in the summer. I remember Jeb Bush mentioning this at Barbara’s funeral. 

[Divemaster01]

On 10/10/2022 at 5:12 AM, danvillebelle said:

"We have a tradition in my family of grandkids spending a week or two in the summer with grandparents." My older son wrote an essay once detailing all his special memories from spending a week every summer with my parents and it made me cry.  Steve and Teri don't know what they're missing.

Truth!  When my younger brother and I were kids, we used to do that also while our parents then took thier own vacation from US. 😅  We created so many memories during those years. Grandpa shot video with his 8MM camera of our fun and took photos too. 

This is just one of our family gatherings in the summer. My dear Mom is in the chair (now in a nursing home  ) I'm in the striped shirt, Dad behind me. My brother in the high chair.

[Melissa1977]

My brother and I would also spent part of the holidays with my grandparents! They lived near a lake, grandpa had a boat, we had picnics often, we were so spoiled!!!

[Bluebirdbluebell]

This month's Mom's Corner is called Halloween and is dated October 11, 2022.

First Paragraph:

Quote

As this time of year rolls around and evil is exalted in every neighborhood, it brings back memories of the journey the Lord has led Steve and I on concerning Halloween. I thought it might be appropriate to tell you this story. Hopefully, it will encourage those of you facing decisions in this area, and bless those who have already made them.

I often wonder why so many of the dad columns lack stories from where their kids were young.

Second Paragraph:

Quote

As young parents, we wanted our children to enjoy the same positive Halloween experiences and memories that we treasured from my past. However, since accepting Jesus Christ as our Savior toward the end of our college days, some doubts crept into our minds as we viewed Halloween decorations with a new perspective. We discounted those doubts, though, being sure we could keep our children dressed appropriately and apply our own values to this particular night.

I didn't realize they "accepted Jesus Christ as our Savior toward the end of our college days".  That seems significant to me. 

Third Paragraph:

Quote

The first Halloween our little ones were of an age to trick-or-treat (back in the early 1980s) I had made them very cute costumes. Out we trooped on Halloween night to the “safe” close neighbors, determined to make memories as we went. It wasn’t long until I had one child in my arms and two more clinging to my leg begging to return home. The lure of free candy did not overpower the fear in their hearts as they looked at the other trick-or-treaters.

I have no memories of being afraid of other kids in their costumes. We have gotten some strange costumes recently though. 

Fourth Paragraph:

Quote

Steve and I began to wonder if childhood Halloween memories were worth what was beginning, in our hearts, to feel like compromise. What kind of memories were we building anyway? The Lord used the children’s fears, as well as much discussion and prayer between Steve and me, to convict us. We decided that it wasn’t right for our children to be out trick-or-treating–participating in a “holiday” that focuses on evil. Verses such as the following would stand out to us as we were praying about this decision. Romans 12:9, “Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.” Romans 16:19, “For your obedience is come abroad unto all men. I am glad therefore on your behalf: but yet I would have you wise unto that which is good, and simple concerning evil.” 1 Thessalonians 5:22, “Abstain from all appearance of evil.”

The children might have grown into it.  The holiday doesn't focus on evil; it focuses a little on fear and more on fun. These kids are more likely to dress in an imaginative way than in a scary way. 

Fifth Paragraph:

Quote

Once we made the “no trick-or-treating” decision, we still had to deal with children who would come to the door on Halloween. Surely, this would be an opportunity to witness to them by handing out tracts along with the candy. We could involve our children in choosing tracts. Plus, we would still be building warm, childhood memories by letting them hand out the goodies and tracts.

I'm surprised they were handing out candy. I think you wanted to hand out tracks, but knew people were more likely to listen with candy. The candy worked as a Trojan horse. 

Quote

Halloween once again rolled around. The doorbell rang. Excitedly, I asked our oldest son (who was six years old at the time) if he would like to open the door and give the children outside each a piece of candy and a tract. After opening the door, he quickly handed the container back to me and ran to his Daddy. It didn’t take long to figure out why. The “characters” facing me were frightful looking at best.

If your oldest son was six, that means the reversals never got to go trick or treating. Heck, Sarah maybe went once as a baby.  Why were the kids so scared? What were these costumes? Were costumes scarier or is this just them

Last Paragraph:

Quote

Perhaps the Lord is taking you along a similar path concerning Halloween as He has our family. I want to encourage you not to feel strange or alone if you decide to spend that night in your house making it look from the outside like no one is at home. Stand firm on being separate from the world’s pursuit of glorifying wickedness and don’t bow down to the evil of Halloween. Take that time to spend together as a family, praising and worshipping your holy, righteous, almighty God.

No, they won't be alone. Plenty of people don't celebrate Halloween, for example JWs. Halloween is cool to me. I like seeing the kids in their costumes and handing out candy. Teenagers welcome. 

I think Teri would have had trouble coming up with costumes even if they had been less against it. It is easier now that we have the internet to come up with costumes. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I think the 3 oldest were brainwashed terrified by Stevehovah and Terified constantly telling them how evil, satanic, frightening, wicked, ungodly, horrible, etc, etc, etc, Halloween is.  They warned them again and again and again that the costumes would be frighteningly horrifying. That the trick or treaters were up to no good and planning to do horrible things.

As we know, Stevehovah is against anything that is even remotely fun.  Halloween as a child is fun.  I loved getting dressed up and roaming our small town with friends.  I don't remember the costumes being frightful -- witches, vampires, ghosts, clowns, gypsies, hobos, cowboys, native Americans, Superman. Batman, superheros, fairy princesses were prevalent.

I love Halloween as an adult seeing the hordes that come to our house. Everyone, teenagers included, is welcome.  We give out tons of candy over the evening. We have repeaters every year,. Some are now teenagers escorting young siblings/ cousins/ neighbor children.

It's a fun night.  Not a concept Stevehovah and Terified have any knowledge of or experience in. Even if Terr had wanted to give her children Halloween memories she would never have disobeyed Stevehovah.

I particularly noticed this (bolding mine):

6 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

... we wanted our children to enjoy the same positive Halloween experiences and memories that we treasured from my past.

Teri is referencing her past only.  Does Stevehovah have no childhood Halloween memories?

I bet he was an absolute pill as a child. A tattle-tale at home and in school. Know-it-all. Insufferable. Smug.  Disliked by all.  Rather like he is now.

[kpmom]

I agree with the above poster that Steve and Terri put the idea in their kids heads about Halloween being evil and that’s why Nathan was so scared of the costumes  

I don’t recall ever being scared of other kids costumes, or my own kids being scared.  I can’t recall any young child coming to our door crying or clinging to their parents.  It doesn’t mean it never has happened, but I think kids understand pretend from a fairly young age.

 I remember thinking it was exciting, and kind of magical being allowed out after dark.

 And free candy?  Yes please!! 🍫🍭🍬

 

 

[HoneyBunny]

I was hospitalized to get my tonsils out when I was 4 (1964). Gramma bought me a nurse’s costume complete with white hat and blue cape. I adored that outfit, wanted to be a nurse for years, and wore it every Halloween until I outgrew it.  
 

A female wearing a professional uniform and wanting a career. I can see why Steve would find that satanic. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’m the same age as Sarah and the scariest part of costumes in the 80s were the stinky and uncomfortable vinyl costumes with creepy masks. I was a Carebear. I was probably supposed to be cute. But I wasn’t. Here’s an example of those horrible costumes:

[quiversR4hunting]

20 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’m the same age as Sarah and the scariest part of costumes in the 80s were the stinky and uncomfortable vinyl costumes with creepy masks. I was a Carebear. I was probably supposed to be cute. But I wasn’t. Here’s an example of those horrible costumes:

I had thr barbie costume! It was my first store bought costume. I loved it. It was hideous (hindsight) 🤣

[FloraDoraDolly]

I think the main reason why the Maxwell kids were afraid of Halloween costumes is because they were little. For starters, small children usually don't go out walking around after dark, so that alone can make them apprehensive. A change of bedtime/routine can also throw them off. Since the oldest Maxwell child was six, then the three of them probably didn't remember much, if anything, about the previous year's Halloween, so it was all strange and new to them. A normal parent would have reassured the frightened kids that all those ghosts and goblins were just other kids dressed up in costumes. If the kids were still afraid, a normal parent would have chalked it up to "maybe next year they'll be old enough."

[JermajestyDuggar]

My kids must be heathens because they’ve loved Halloween ever since they were babies. But they are social creatures who love candy. The cutest year was when my 1 1/2 year old was Yoda and walking around the neighborhood the exact height as Yoda. It was so funny to walk behind him as he waddled along like Yoda asking for candy. 

[Nothing if not critical]

Halloween isn't super popular here in Germany, so trick or treating was sometimes a bit of a challenge, but my girls LOVED the dressing up part. German kids usually dress up once a year for carnival anyway, and they both jumped at the chance of another costume *lol*. 
They've had various costumes over the years, some scary, some not, but my favourite will always be when my oldest dressed up as a witch and her little sis (who was two or three years old) was her familiar, a little black cat. The pics are so insanely cute!

Oh, and the only time my kids were ever scared was that year when the whole "horror clown" thing went down, and a friend's mom chose to dress up as a clown. 

[anachronistic]

In 4th-5th grade a guy dressed as a scarecrow and lay reclining on a chair in his yard, then leaped up at the trick or treaters as they came up the path to his house. I have always startled very easily and was so scared I think I cried. The guy was very apologetic and offered me extra candy but I was having none of it, and I was extremely cautious approaching any other house. There was also a pumpkin-headed scarecrow perched on a neighbors roof that was catty corner from my bus stop and I was convinced would come to life at any moment. But in general, Halloween was all about the candy, not being scared, and I was a scared, anxiety-ridden kid in general. But when faced with candy….well, I got brave.

As an adult now I don’t like other adults in costumes where you can’t see their face. It just creeps me out, always has. I thought I was homophobic for a few years because furries creeped me out so much but then I realized it was the same reaction I have to the Disney characters, school mascots, etc : where did the human go? Are you absolutely, positively certain that there is a human under there? Okay, then, but *what if you’re wrong?*

An imagination is a good thing. But mine can easily be a little too much…..

[Alisamer]

16 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’m the same age as Sarah and the scariest part of costumes in the 80s were the stinky and uncomfortable vinyl costumes with creepy masks. I was a Carebear. I was probably supposed to be cute. But I wasn’t. Here’s an example of those horrible costumes:

Those costumes were awful, weren't they? I remember we had the Barbie one as well, we each wore it once then passed it down. After that for a while mom made us costumes - we had a cute witch one, and clown costume.

My church is doing Trunk or Treat this year. I might go help my sister and mom hand out candy. My witch hat should be arriving today! I usually just dress up in my gothiest clothes and wear devil horns but this year I'll wear a witch hat instead. 

I kind of love when fundies start talking about Halloween. They make themselves sound so petty and joyless. Sad for the kids, unfortunately. It's telling that Teri has wonderful fun memories of halloween but ended up deciding that it was just too much fun for their own kids to enjoy. Better to terrify the kids about how evil and scary it is and then use their fear as an excuse to not allow them to have fun with the holiday.

Hey, Steve and Teri! Talk about the evils of Rock n' Roll next!

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’m a black cat every year. I’m boring. But it’s so easy to put on black clothes, a cat ear head band and a clip on tail. Boom done. And I’ve always loved cats. So it makes sense to everyone I would be a cat. 

[HeartsAFundie]

8 hours ago, Alisamer said:

Hey, Steve and Teri! Talk about the evils of Rock n' Roll next!

If they do then it's total proof positive they read here.  And I will be so here for the analysis of that column.   

 

[louannems]

On 10/12/2022 at 2:15 AM, Bluebirdbluebell said:

The children might have grown into it

My son’s first trick or treating experience, around the age of three, he was actually terrified of putting on the simple, homemade costume I had made.  He did agree however, to hold the costume and go trick or treating.  I have an adorable picture with him holding his costume and his bag of candy!

Of course he grew into it and by the next Halloween, he loved wearing his costume.