Mom's Corner by Teri

[Bluebirdbluebell]

The Next Mom's Corner is from December 6, 2021 and it's called "Joy in Christ-Centered Christmas Traditions". This one has a little more flavor although the last Mom's Corner (above) was as bland as a raw potato. 

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With Christmas on the horizon, our thoughts usually shift toward what that season means to us personally and then how to draw our children toward Christ. Perhaps a glimpse into our personal Christ-centered, family Christmas traditions might spur you to pray about what the Lord wants your family to do during these weeks. 

You go caroling to the neighbors.

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DECORATING

Many years ago, we realized when one entered our home at Christmas time, the Christmas tree was the center of attention. However, we had a desire for the decorating in our house to reflect our worship of the Lord Jesus Christ and draw our hearts and our children’s hearts more closely to Him. So we replaced the Christmas tree with a beautiful, fireplace mantel arrangement with lights, a nativity, garland, and the names of God displayed. We also culled out Christmas decorations that were not Christ centered and only purchased new ones that were.

Plus it was cheaper than buying a new tree every year. I have to admit I like Christmas trees, but they can also be stressful and a lot of work. I can't tell if they have stockings with people's names on them. I think they do, but maybe not?

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After our salvation, we eliminated Santa Claus. We didn’t want our children believing in Santa Claus only to find out later he was a lie. “Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds” (Colossians 3:9).  Plus we desired to have Christmas be all Christ!

I have an agnostic friend who agrees with this. When the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus were all fairy tales, she also started questioning God's existence. Also a lot of  people are starting to get annoyed with the traditions of Santa Claus. Basically, "Santa" gives nicer gifts to rich kids than poor, and it makes the poor kids feel like bad people since theoretically Santa rewards good behavior. 

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CHRISTMAS CAROLING

Our family used Christmas caroling as a special way to share Christ. We carol in our neighborhood as a family, growing from Steve, me, and our eight children the first year (plus my dad and mom) to our current thirty (on a good weather caroling night) now that we have married children and grandchildren with us. 

We bake a delicious poppy seed loaf (recipe at the end of the blog post) to take to each home and include a card with note and a salvation Scripture. It is our heart’s desire that all of our neighbors would come to a saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).

We've dealt with this in many Seriously, Dads?, but it's none of your business if the neighbors believe in Jesus. I hope at least a few of them offer you some pushback.

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GIFTS AND LIGHTS

Our children love to give gifts. Growing up, they grouped into teams of two or three and invested time, thought, and prayer into each gift. As adults, married with families, they figured out a name drawing system for a gift exchange between siblings, cousins, and aunt/uncles to nieces/nephews. We observed our children’s greatest joy through the years was what they gave rather than what they received.

This may seem cheap to you, but my extended family uses a name drawing system to give gifts as well. It's effective in a large family.

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We made a tradition of an evening near Christmas to take the family out to eat and then to listen to a powerful, dramatic presentation from Back to the Bible called the Twelve Voices of Christmas. As we listened, we drove around looking at Christmas lights. “Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life” (John 8:12). 

It sounds like they're not doing this year and maybe haven't done so for several years.  I wonder how Steve and Teri feel about the proliferation of secular Christmas blow-ups, such as Minions and Star Wars blow-ups. (Yes I've seen both to name a few blow-ups in our neighborhood. 

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THE WORD

During Christmas week, Steve would divert from wherever we were reading in Scripture at that time, to passages from the Old Testament that are prophetic of Jesus’ birth and to the chapters in the New Testament that tell the story of God becoming a man. 

On Christmas Eve, we follow a Christmas program my dad and mom put together for their grandchildren and now their great grandchildren enjoy it. If you are interested in this original, homemade Christmas program, here is a link.

So Christmas week would be before the birth and not during the Twelve Days of Christmas? I'm surprised it was Teri's parents and not Teri and Steve who came up with the homemade Christmas program.

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THE CELEBRATION

We had our immediate family Christmas on Christmas Eve day. This began when our children were little, and we spent Christmas Day with my parents, who were our next-door-neighbors. Now Christmas Eve day is when everyone one – my mom, adult children, and grandchildren – gather at our house from breakfast until bedtime for a day of fellowship, eating, gift exchange, and time in the Word. 

May I suggest that you and your husband evaluate what is important for your family during the Christmas season and make sure that your time is invested in those priorities? Be sure Christmas is purposefully utilized to draw your children’s hearts to Jesus Christ and serving Him.

Why Christmas Eve and not Christmas? There doesn't seem to be a reason for this. They act like this is important, but it's not clear why.

Yes you may suggest it, but that doesn't mean we'll listen. I think most people do try to prioritize during the Holiday season. I would say it's more important to do what you want than let other people or tradition pressure you into doing things that you don't enjoy.

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CHOOSE TO DE-STRESS

Christmas is the last time of year when you want to be a stressed woman. This Christmas season would you choose to set aside Christmas stress and pick up the joy, peace, and rest of the Savior?

Here are four resources that I recommend to help you with holiday de-stressing or any-time-of-the-year de-stressing:

Managers of Their Homes
Managers of Their Chores
Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit
Sweet Journey

Same sales pitch as last time, even word for word. Since they copied what they said, here's what I said above not an hour ago:

53 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Ah it ends with another Sales pitch. All that joy, peace, and rest of the Savior can be yours for a price on Titus2. I guess they got to make money somehow. I'm surprised they didn't post this on the blog earlier.

 

[3splenty]

Great thread to get a Victoria's Secret ad! At least there are no contrasting buttons?

[freejugar]

If they want to pare down activities to destress I'd get rid of the baking of poppy loaves and the caroling.

[Hane]

*whispers* I actually made the poppyseed loaf and it was really pretty good *steals away*

[HerNameIsBuffy]

8 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

For a long time, I was waiting for the next Mom's Corner to go up on their blog. They finally put them up in December. The first one is from November 9, 2021 and it's called "Simple but Strategic Ways to Take the Stress Out of Christmas."

It seems easy to rest in the Lord when you're not as busy as others. It wouldn't be a rest for me if I had half a dozen kids to tend to and homeschooling, etc.

Making a to do list is good advice, but hardly original.

Again prioritize is hardly a new idea.

Again solid advice. I wonder how long the Maxwells seem to envision each homeschooling session lasts. It seems like some fundies only homeschool for few hours already. Also mothers of small children may not be able to keep their eyes off the kids for that long.

Ah it ends with another Sales pitch. All that joy, peace, and rest of the Savior can be yours for a price on Titus2. I guess they got to make money somehow. I'm surprised they didn't post this on the blog earlier.

Agree - it's a little late in the season for this advice.  

[smittykins]

8 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Basically, "Santa" gives nicer gifts to rich kids than poor, and it makes the poor kids feel like bad people since theoretically Santa rewards good behavior. 

I’ve recently heard the advice that “if you’re going to give your kids an expensive gift, make it from you instead of Santa, because they might have classmates who are lucky to get hats and gloves.”  And I’m not surprised at the sales push, as I’m sure they’re not moving as much inventory as they were during the salad days of conventions and Uriah.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

25 minutes ago, smittykins said:

I’ve recently heard the advice that “if you’re going to give your kids an expensive gift, make it from you instead of Santa, because they might have classmates who are lucky to get hats and gloves.”  And I’m not surprised at the sales push, as I’m sure they’re not moving as much inventory as they were during the salad days of conventions and Uriah.

This is one of the things my mom got right.  She told us Santa was real, but the stuff about the workshop and the north pole weren't.  That Santa puts the Christmas spirit in our hearts so we'll want to give to others.  That's why we buy gifts for children in need at the holidays because not all parents have the money to do so and we're helping Santa give those kids a good holiday.

Worked on my older siblings, but I came along much later and was born cynical.  My parents got divorced in November when I was four and my mom said my initial response to being told was to ask if Daddy would still buy us Christmas presents if he didn't live here anymore.

Past me had her priorities.  And yes, my dad wasn't perfect but he was a regular father freaking Christmas when it came to gifts.

[kpmom]

Regarding having the "extended" family over on Christmas Eve rather than Christmas Day, Teri wrote once that it gave Melanie, Nathan and their kids time to visit with Melanie's family on Christmas day.

Now, of course the other sons are married to women from other states, but, tbh, I still think it's a nice idea.  Let the young families relax and start their own traditions on Christmas Day.

And, OMG, the "extendeds" have to spend from breakfast until evening bible time at the Fathership on Christmas Eve??  That's gotta be one long damn day!

[Alisamer]

I feel like Steve and Teri would be horrified to see the Christmas decorations in my family. We have nativities, sure... but also the trees are covered with cars, cartoons, Santas, fairies, spaceships... anything and everything. (We've collected Hallmark ornaments for decades now!)

8 minutes ago, kpmom said:

And, OMG, the "extendeds" have to spend from breakfast until evening bible time at the Fathership on Christmas Eve??  That's gotta be one long damn day!

I could not handle that, I don't think. We do Christmas at my sister's house. I have to get there early enough to help with some of the cooking (much of which is done the day before) so probably 10 am or so. The extended family (and whoever else is joining us, bring a $10 gift if you want in on the gift exchange and come on in!) arrives around lunchtime, and we all eat a big home cooked holiday meal together. Afterward we hang out for several hours, do a gift exchange, might do some other games or crafts if anyone's brought some, etc. There is way too much snack food set out for everyone to have. But about time for supper? I'm done. There was one year that we also drove around to everyone's house to look at Christmas decorations, but we only did that once. We weren't done until 10 or so that day, and ended up having late dinner at Waffle House. We might, maybe, just a few of us go drive through McAdenville, NC (the whole town decorates for Christmas) that evening, but that's a several hour proposition. 

Generally after several hours of the big holiday, I'm ready to go sit at home in my house by myself. In the quiet. With nobody else around. 

The 26th? Shopping. Hallmark ornaments go on sale that morning. It's not as much of a sport as it used to be (line up, have your list ready, rush the shelves as soon as the door opens) but we still usually hit a few stores. This used to be all the females in the family, but lately we go separately so it's just my mom and sisters and I together.

Still, by mid afternoon I'm done, and ready to go be alone for a while to recharge. 

I might be able to handle my family Christmas from breakfast to late night, but it'd be difficult and I'd probably need a day to recover. Being around Steve for that long, though? Nope. Sounds awful.

[fundiewatch]

It is a long day. They do breakfast, then a snack lunch, play games, some take naps, then dinner, gifts and the program. It’s intense. I’m so glad Sarah has a home to return to this year!

The poppyseed loaf is amazing. I baked some for selling at my kid’s Christmas show and it was still warm. People loved it. Also had to remake it because my friend liked it so much. So much delicious artificial flavoring… and it’s super quick to throw together. Anna Marie did most of it, several years in a row.

[Howl]

So, got it: 

1. Rest in the Lord
2. Write it down
3. Pare down
4. Plan 
5. Dedicate time
6. Choose to destress

Teri, of all people, knows that if you let the Lord plan your family (by, for example, getting a vasectomy reversed) and have a bazillion kids, including young ones, this list is impossible, especially dedicate time, unless you have a lot of help.

Also, how is Christmas time any different than any other time of year in Maxhell? 

[louannems]

23 hours ago, Hane said:

*whispers* I actually made the poppyseed loaf and it was really pretty good *steals away*

Another admission:. I've made their pumpkin cake with cream cheese frosting and it was devine! It also was the only recipe I could find that used the whole can of pumpkin so no leftover.

[MamaJunebug]

On 12/17/2021 at 1:07 AM, Bluebirdbluebell said:

I guess they got to make money somehow. I'm surprised they didn't post this on the blog earlier.

Maybe she just decided she wanted a little extra sumpin’ sumpin’ to spend on a grand baby.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

So I am going to admit that I’ve done the exact opposite of Teri when it comes to decorations. I’ve gotten rid of many of my Christian decorations. Anything with a Bible verse on it was donated. Any angels were donated. Almost all of my decor is now very secular. I love it. I don’t want to influence my children with any sort of religion. If they choose a religion as an adult, that’s ok with me. But I don’t want to push Christianity on them while they are children. They get enough of it just living there ordinary lives. It’s crazy how much religion my kids pick up even though I’ve never taken them to church, I’ve never read any Bible stories, and I never bring up the topic of religion to them. 

[anachronistic]

@JermajestyDuggar my family didn’t have much in the way of religious decorations but my mom and I stopped putting out the crèche a few years ago because neither of us identified as Christians and we know that Jesus/Mary/Joseph were most definitely not white.

It may be an oxymoron but I want more atheist-specific Christmas decorations. I couldn’t find any so I made one this year. It’s hanging on my apartment door. I’m pretty sure nobody reads it but I like it a lot. 

 

[Nothing if not critical]

1 hour ago, anachronistic said:

@JermajestyDuggar my family didn’t have much in the way of religious decorations but my mom and I stopped putting out the crèche a few years ago because neither of us identified as Christians and we know that Jesus/Mary/Joseph were most definitely not white.

It may be an oxymoron but I want more atheist-specific Christmas decorations. I couldn’t find any so I made one this year. It’s hanging on my apartment door. I’m pretty sure nobody reads it but I like it a lot. 

 

That is amazing! If you ever consider selling those, I'd buy one in a heartbeat 😍.

[Alisamer]

1 hour ago, anachronistic said:

@JermajestyDuggar my family didn’t have much in the way of religious decorations but my mom and I stopped putting out the crèche a few years ago because neither of us identified as Christians and we know that Jesus/Mary/Joseph were most definitely not white.

It may be an oxymoron but I want more atheist-specific Christmas decorations. I couldn’t find any so I made one this year. It’s hanging on my apartment door. I’m pretty sure nobody reads it but I like it a lot. 

 

I'm Christian and I love that.

My sister collects nativities. I have a cute one from Peru that I have sitting out most of the year just because it's so pretty (and it's tiny). 

What I'd really like at some point though is to put together a more accurate nativity. Not just getting the skin color more correct, but the situation. I read a couple years ago an article about what was more likely meant by "no room in the inn" (likely not an inn, more likely a relative's house, where the "nice" upper room was already taken), and what the nativity likely actually looked like. It suggested that it was most likely actually at a family member's house, on the ground floor, where the animals and people all came in and out through the day, because the nicer room upstairs had gone to other, likely higher ranked socially, family members who had come in town for the census. 

So it likely wasn't Mary, Joseph, and some animals in a barn or cave. It was likely Mary, lots of family members, the women tending to her and cooking, and tending to other children. The men tending the animals or sitting by the fire smoking and chatting amongst themselves. Jesus was likely born into a busy household full of family and activity and food, even if it was at night. 

I like that better. The three of them alone in a stable with an angel hovering over and some shepherds headed their way seems more... peaceful. But it's unlikely. Joseph wouldn't have just sat there while she labored, he'd have run and got the midwife. They were in town for the census, they had relatives there, that's why they went. Would their family have just sat in their houses and let Mary give birth out in a barn with just Joseph? Especially after a long journey? Even with the slightly scandalous beginning of the pregnancy, chances are they wouldn't have been total outcasts. The birth would have been celebrated and attended by family. Family would be feeding them and making sure Mary was doing OK and giving her water to drink as she labored. 

Even if their family had rejected them, I doubt they'd have been stuck out in a stable while Mary was in labor. Someone would have taken them in. They wouldn't have been abandoned.

[Hane]

@anachronistic, is that a UU chalice I see on your holiday sign?

[Baxter]

I come from a family of atheists. We had some religious decorations at Christmas like a nativity scene and some angels on the tree. My favorite Christmas carols are actually some of the religious ones, typically sung by a choir like Silent Night and Joy to the World. 

None of this affected what I thought about Christianity which is pretty much that is fine if other people find comfort in it. But I don't believe any of it. 

My mom hasn't put out a nativity scene in many years though. She found one with dogs which we had out for many years and loved because we are all dog lovers. But since there are grandchildren around now, she won't put it out until they are older. 

My son is five and it occurred to me that he actually has no clue who Jesus is or the First Christmas story. I bought a book this year about it. But actually I wish that someone made a first Christmas book for atheist children because it's kind if a cultural thing to know. 

[Nothing if not critical]

24 minutes ago, Baxter said:

But actually I wish that someone made a first Christmas book for atheist children because it's kind if a cultural thing to know. 

That would be so cool! I ended up buying a kids' bible for my kids, years ago, just so they would know the basics, but they hated it as much as I did. I felt they should know a few things, like who Moses was, and the Noah's ark story and so on, just for reference. But they really weren't into it.

[Alisamer]

47 minutes ago, Baxter said:

But actually I wish that someone made a first Christmas book for atheist children because it's kind if a cultural thing to know. 

That's an amazing idea - and kind of ties in to a literature discussion going on in the Josh/Anna thread right now. There are some things (classic literature and Bible stories among them) that are just expected to be known, and are used as cultural shorthand sometimes - like the "Good Samaritan" and "prodigal son" stories. I think it would be cool to have books about Bible stories that are not meant to convert, and that might answer some of the questions kids are likely to ask.

Like why DO we see nativities with just Mary (in a light blue and white dress, looking serene and spotless despite having just given birth in a barn) and Joseph, kneeling in front of baby Jesus lying in a feed trough? Seems more likely she'd be nursing the baby and trying to get some sleep. 

I would definitely be interested in Bible stories boiled down and told, especially with well-researched historically accurate information included for context.

[Black Aliss]

The Bible for Dummies and The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Bible are both useful for cultural literacy, e.g., for making crossword puzzles easier to solve

[anachronistic]

@Nothing if not critical and @Alisamerthank you for the compliments. My art is really messy due to my lack of fine motor skills but I still like doing it and that’s what counts. (I learned that in a class years ago and it’s seriously the best thing I ever learned about art.)
 

@Hane, yep.  And some of the lines are from UU hymns/readings.
I really want a UU flaming chalice Christmas tree topper but haven’t been able to find one. I think maybe I’ll find a good chalice coloring page, print it out then use felt and glue to make one. I’d love a sparkly plastic or glass one, though. I’ve also made some UU flaming chalice ornaments.

Here is my favorite Christmas song - I love the old carols but this song just begs to be sung loudly and heartily this time of year. 
 

GOD REST YE, UNITARIANS

God rest ye, Unitarians, let nothing you dismay;
Remember there’s no evidence
There was a Christmas Day; 
When Christ was born is just not known,
No matter what they say,
O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact. 

Our current Christmas customs come
From Persia and from Greece,
From solstice celebrations of the ancient Middle East. 
This whole darn Christmas spiel is just
Another pagan feast,
O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact. 

There was no star of Bethlehem,
There was no angels’ song;
There couldn’t have been wise men
For the trip would take too long. 
The stories in the Bible are historically wrong,
O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact,
Glad tidings of reason and fact. 

Tune: God Rest You, Merry Gentlemen
Words: Hymns for the Cerebration of Strife
Copyright 1990 by Christopher Raible

 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

A Unitarian minister once said  something to the effect "Religion is like sex. If you don't teach your kids about it, they're going to learn about it from others, and you might not like what they're picking up." 

I think it can be helpful to tell kids what you believe and why. A fundie man I know has had several girlfriends whose parents were atheists. 

[fundiefan]

My family has always done Christmas on Christmas Eve. Started with my grandmother and we still continue it now. It's as ingrained in our "ways" as anything else. I have actually had friends who "feel bad" that I don't do anything on Christmas Day. As if that means I don't "get" a Christmas. Hell, those of us without in-laws always went to a movie together & it was awesome. A nice relaxing day after our big celebration. 

The reasoning was then, and is now, to let "in laws" have Christmas day. When couples have two families, they have to be split up somehow. 

When my grandmother died, all her kid's families broke off into their own Christmas celebrations. So, my extended family - all grandma's kids & their families - do another Christmas on another day. Sometimes it's in January, sometimes in December. Whenever it works to have more than 50 people together in one place. 

Mostly, it has little to do with the day and everything to do with the why - in my case, family.