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Mom's Corner by Teri


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Hi freejinjers, I love when magically some discussions enlight me or make me feel that I'm not alone. Regarding the ADHD, I really think my mom has it (without the hiperactivity). Since she was a little girl she had the "foggy brain", couldn't focus on school and basically her mind works different than average. She socializes well but I see how many people see her "different" or "a bit weird". I'm so sad she never got help and she developed depression and anxiety. etc. She has been to a lot of doctors but they all focus on anxiety and don't dig about other issues.

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@Lady Grass Lake I‘ve never heard of white noise, thanks for the suggestion! Now I want to try it! This is why I love FJ - helpful things come from totally unexpected corners :) 

OMG I see so much of me in all of your descriptions of ADHD. Maybe this is the missing puzzle piece to solve what‘s going on? Anyway I‘m making notes of my behavior and want to talk with my psychiatrist about it.

Edited by Smash!
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There are phone apps for making white noise and other kinds of noise.  Or just plain youtube videos.

I've had a good week this week so it feels like life could continue to be great indefinitely.  But inevitably within a week or a month I'm likely to drop into another bad brain fog state with racing/drifting thoughts, inability to apply myself to anything or even read something I enjoy for long, feeling like my brain's installed wrong or stuck in reverse gear, the sensation of being kinda overwhelmed by joint aches but not actually being in real pain, and general despair.  Lets hope it doesn't last long next time.

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10 hours ago, CyborgKin said:

the sensation of being kinda overwhelmed by joint aches but not actually being in real pain,

Wait, is that an ADHD thing? Because I've had those weird joint aches for the past twenty years, and no doctor has been able to find any reason for them. They're sort of just below the threshold for actual pain, but make me feel horribly tired and achey. And they seem to get worse when I'm stressed.

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44 minutes ago, Nothing if not critical said:

Wait, is that an ADHD thing? Because I've had those weird joint aches for the past twenty years, and no doctor has been able to find any reason for them. They're sort of just below the threshold for actual pain, but make me feel horribly tired and achey. And they seem to get worse when I'm stressed.

My mom has it (along with foggy brain etc) and she was diagnosed fribromialgia. But I suspect many fibromialgias are hidden ADHD or are somehow connected.

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4 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

My mom has it (along with foggy brain etc) and she was diagnosed fribromialgia. But I suspect many fibromialgias are hidden ADHD or are somehow connected.

Yeah, fibro is on my list of "things that may be the underlying cause of my health issues" too. Sigh. I know there's not a lot you can actually do about the symptoms, but sometimes it would be nice just to have a diagnosis.

Edited by Nothing if not critical
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2 hours ago, Nothing if not critical said:

Yeah, fibro is on my list of "things that may be the underlying cause of my health issues" too. Sigh. I know there's not a lot you can actually do about the symptoms, but sometimes it would be nice just to have a diagnosis.

I was diagnosed with fibro a few months ago, and it helped me make sense of symptoms that I'd thought were unrelated. I'm on medication that has helped with those symptoms. Interesting to think about an ADHD connection, too. 

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On 6/16/2021 at 4:17 PM, jjmennonite said:

I may recall that correctly, but it is not considered a disorder, but a creative way of thinking and processing life.

That's how I see it.  World doesn't agree with me so I deal with their labels....but I wish more people with ADHD saw themselves through that lens.

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On 6/17/2021 at 4:47 AM, Smash! said:

@Lady Grass Lake I‘ve never heard of white noise, thanks for the suggestion! Now I want to try it! This is why I love FJ - helpful things come from totally unexpected corners :) 

White noise is AWESOME. I have to have it to sleep. In summer, it's the window AC unit in my bedroom. In winter, it's an app on my phone. It has to be non-repeating, and some apps are better than others. Lots of them say they have white noise but are 90% other things like crackling campfire (makes me afraid the house is on fire), crickets (just no), rain or a babbling brook (I already have to get up to pee sometimes, thanks), thunderstorms (too repetitive), ocean waves (great but only if it's not a loop and has no seagulls!) etc.

I like an app called Sleep Machine - you can make your own customized mix of sounds and save it. I have mine set to sound as much like an airplane interior (but without the people noises) as possible. I know that hum covers lots of other noises, and I figure if I'm used to that sound for sleeping maybe, just maybe, I'll eventually be able to sleep on a plane someday. 

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On 6/16/2021 at 1:35 PM, Lady Grass Lake said:

Have you tried White Noise?  I discovered this by accident.  I was doing data entry for a weekly production schedule at 6:00 a.m. and it's was important to get deadline dates absolutely correct. I was on a tight schedule to get the information in, and  I would be the only one in the offices that early.  This was the same time the janitor would be vacuuming.   That steady hum coincided with a burst of speed and accuracy and I realized it kept me focused on my typing.    I found a cheap white noise machine on Amazon that also had a headphone jack.  I have trouble falling asleep, my mind just spins and relives my day and won't  quiet down, so I though it might help that as well.  I discovered that the noise was a repeating track that looped and I could hear it start over, and would then listen for the same noise variations and loop start point and that was worse.   I finally invested the money on a really good system that included several types of noise, white, pink, brown, and it specified NON repeating.  It was worth the money, it helped me concentrate and I found out that the pink noise was more soothing to me.  Strange but helpful. 

I've used white noise to block out sound so I can sleep, but I had the same problem hearing the loop. I usually keep a fan or dehumidifier running while I sleep. I can handle just about any sound as long as it's constant.

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My current version of white noise is falling asleep to the same youtube video about space/the universe every night.  I love the soundtrack and I'm always asleep long before it's over (30 minutes).  My white noise when I really want to concentrate on reading or stitching is Bach...instrumental, no vocals.  

My grandmother's house had a 1960's era window AC in one of the upstairs bedrooms that was super loud.  My brother and I maintain that it opened some kind of portal to the Land of Nod, because if you slept with it going you inevitably got the BEST. SLEEP. EVER. 

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On 6/14/2021 at 12:33 PM, quiversR4hunting said:

Kids? Mary graduated in 2015, assuming she was 18, she is 24; Anna graduated 2010, she is 29+/-; and Sarah is 39. (I assume Maxwell diehard followers will know their exact age and DOB). 

Why is their summer schedule any different than the other 9 months? They aren't in school. Per titus2.com Sarah's biography is advertising for a husband and writing books, Anna is part-time IT help desk support (is that for their own product?) and Mary is planning on more god bothering mission trips and graphic design projects for a small business (again, is this for their own family company?). 

I understand having some type of general schedule for school aged kids to keep up on reading, sleep, crafts and play. We all don't want the kids spending every waking moment on a video game or in a book or cleaning (if you are a maxwell) but also want them to get outside and play. 

I schedule my kids in the summer - loosely.  They need a routine or my house is chaos.  It's usually something like 1) Breakfast/get dressed 2) a little screen time (mommy is NOT a morning person and I need a few minutes to get myself right) 3) play (inside/outside/the playground - whatever they want to do) lunch 5) find something to do 6) screen time while I cook dinner......you get the idea.  

On the topic of ADHD, it's sometimes overdiagnosed in children, particularly very young children, because they keep dropping the entry age for kindergarten.  In my district a child can start kinder at 4.  Which means they're starting first grade at 5.  Not all kids are developmentally able, at that age, to sit still, hold a pencil, etc.  As well, I've seen kids diagnosed because they need general supports at school and with budget cuts those supports don't always come without some kind of diagnosis. 

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@bluelady same type of schedule for my kids but one now works so her schedule is her work schedule and the younger two have some routine but I can't imagine why the maxwell adult women need scheduled all the time and as adults. Their life is a yearly groundhogs day of schedules. Blah!

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  • 2 weeks later...

@refugee Thank you for starting the discussion about ADHD and to everyone else for sharing your experiences. After reading here I talked to my psychiatrist about me possibly having ADHD and after some questions he thinks it‘s very likely for me to be somewhere in the spectrum. I have an appointment to get evaluated in a few weeks. This could be a missed puzzle piece to manage my anxiety and restlessness. So thank you all here on FJ. You are wonderful. ❤️ :group-hug: So glad I found this space 😃

 

@Lady Grass Lake I downloaded an app called White Noise. It has lots of different sounds including different intensities of rain, several fans etc. I haven‘t tested it yet at work but it works wonders at home. Especially when I want to sleep and boyfriend is still talking on the phone. It‘s an old building so you hear everything even if the noise is in a different room.

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23 hours ago, Smash! said:

@refugee Thank you for starting the discussion about ADHD and to everyone else for sharing your experiences. After reading here I talked to my psychiatrist about me possibly having ADHD and after some questions he thinks it‘s very likely for me to be somewhere in the spectrum. I have an appointment to get evaluated in a few weeks. This could be a missed puzzle piece to manage my anxiety and restlessness. So thank you all here on FJ. You are wonderful. ❤️ :group-hug: So glad I found this space 😃

 

@Lady Grass Lake I downloaded an app called White Noise. It has lots of different sounds including different intensities of rain, several fans etc. I haven‘t tested it yet at work but it works wonders at home. Especially when I want to sleep and boyfriend is still talking on the phone. It‘s an old building so you hear everything even if the noise is in a different room.

Another win for topic drift!

In a minor vein, my most recent FJ win is skorts. Until the discussion here, I did not know these were a thing. I suppose I had seen ads for them, but equated them with the hated panty girdles of my youth. After reading about them, I ordered them online, and am now using them when I have to go somewhere and don't want wear my yoga pants. 

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Posted (edited)

@FiveAcres,  Back when I was a kid, we called them culottes.  I think skorts are a bit -or a lot- shorter though.  One of our former neighbors was a fundie and she wore culottes when she went out for a run.  The last time I saw her she was wearing slacks. She looked very nice.  Sharon was always a bit unusual for a grad of Bob Jones:  she wasn't completely anti-dancing,  she thought mixed sex swimming was fine,  and she liked the aroma of a freshly lit cigarette although she'd never smoked.

Ugh, panty girdles!  I remember having wear those before pantyhose.  You'd wear them even if you didn't need them for slenderizing purposes.  Garter belts were a little too racy.  I can't recall when I last wore pantyhose although I might wear tights.  

Edited by PennySycamore
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In my experience of life culottes and skorts aren't quite the same thing.  Culottes are in-between shorts and full pants in length.  They're more of a capri, but usually very full cut.  Skorts are shorts with a panel across the front to imitate a skirt and yes are usually above the knee to well above the knee.  

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My experience of culottes are that they are normally shorts, not full length - and very baggy so they do look like a skirt.

Skorts that I’ve seen are a full skirt normally with leggings / cycle shorts attached under and are short, my school has the girls do sports in them. I have a skirt I wear over my leggings when running  now because in  h opinion my butt looks horrific in leggings!

 

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This must be regional.  Full skirts with shorts underneath are called skating skirts or twirly skirts here.  I buy at least half a dozen for my granddaughter every year.  

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 To me skorts are shorts with a skirt panel, but just in front, not in back. Title 9, a women’s sportswear company, sells a lot of skirts with attached shirts that they call ‘skirts with benefits’. I wear skirts and dresses almost exclusively in summer but almost never bother with shorts underneath unless I’m going to physical therapy or acupuncture or somewhere where they need access to my stomach or the skirt might ride up.

 

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Posted (edited)

@anachronistic,  my running skirts have attached shorts underneath, but there is no panel.  It just looks like a very short skirt, something i would have worn 50 years ago.  

Edited by PennySycamore
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I love comparing regional names for things!
 

From your British friend here Americans, don’t ever say Fanny Pack in the UK. It’s not good!  Likewise suspenders :) 

In think in most regions you’ll be safe whatever type of coulotte or skort you get given!

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Where I am "skorts" can have a panel in front or actually be a skirt with attached shorts underneath. I have a jeans skort that I wear a lot that has a full skirt all around. 

I wear slip shorts, bike shorts, or undersummers under skirts if they aren't already skorts, and I'd rather wear skorts than shorts. They look nicer on me, and prevent chub rub. I'd probably spend the summer in skirts and dresses if more of them had pockets. Another reason I like the jean skort!

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Posted (edited)

Proudly showing my age here: The first and best culottes I ever had were A-line.  They looked like a skirt that had one inverted pleat from waistband to hem in front, and  another in back.
 

Gosh, they looked sharp!  You only realized they weren’t a skirt when you chose to run in them, or do the splits. 
 

I loved knowing that I could sit with my ankle on my opposite knee and not be scolded for being unladylike. Because, strictly speaking, I wasn’t being immodest in the least! I was wearing pants!

Edited by MamaJunebug
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