Maxwell 43: Divesting from the First Church of Stevehovah Reversalist

[fundiefan]

2 hours ago, sparkles said:

As much as I hate to admit it, I could probably learn a thing or two from Teri’s shopping habits (although she can still take the simplest task and turn it into something that rivals the D-Day invasion for strategic planning.) I’m probably in the record books somewhere as the world’s worst shopper and never met a new-fangled food item that I didn’t want to try. Unfortunately Mr. Sparkles is the same way. But we both LOVE grocery shopping and finding new stores—it’s like our date night—even though we’re the poster children for lessons in impulse control. I use the Paprika app, which I adore, to keep a list of things we NEED (it’s generated from recipes I want to make, plus things I’ve added myself) and I’m good about sticking to it. It’s the things we WANT that trip us up. Add in the fact that I never look for sales unless they’re right in front of me, I clip coupons but always forget to bring them with me or use them, I’m brand loyal, and I love exotic shit, and it’s no wonder that my grocery bill rivals our mortgage payment each month. I’m not proud of this, you know. ?

I use a list solely to make sure I get what I need. It does absolutely nothing to keep me limited or non-impulsive. 

When there are sales on something I normally buy, I will stock up (non perishable, of course). When there are sales on things I don't need at all right now, but the deal is too good to pass because eventually I *will* need it - like $5.00 for a 12pk of TP - I'll get a bunch (now that there are limits on everything, I can usually only get one), When there is a sale plus stacked coupons, I will get out of it what I can even if I don't have an immediate need for six cans of diced tomatoes. And if I pass an end display with chocolate covered almonds, you better believe they're going into my cart. I've also been known to completely toss out my plan for meals because I see something better while shopping.

So, basically, I don't save any money by using a list and I don't have the list to make sure I only buy exactly what I need. It has no control over my shopping or habits. its sole purpose is to make sure I don't forget what I know I need. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

I think Anna Marie does look happy in the pictures on the blog. That second picture has with their eyes closed looks more intense, but couples, particularly fundie couples, usually take closed-eyed pictures that look intense and usually look overdramatic (not in this case) and silly to me. (I'm talking about wedding pictures with the closed eye looks.)

I'm glad they're celebrating their anniverisary. I think it's great to acknowledge that she is still here and she and Chris are married and their marriage seems stronger than ever. Anna Marie is not my pet fundie, actually I don't like her very much, but I think she looks great there. I like the hat and for someone three months out from chemo, she look great. I notice she has eyelashes. 

I actually have to give the Maxwells points; I like that they celebrate life as it is, even when things aren't going perfectly.  FJ apparently believes that they should celebrate only when things are going exactly the way they should be and everyone looks perfect and ready for Instagram. Sarah shouldn't have a celebratory birthday, because she's older and single and lives at home and that's not cool in our society. Anna Marie shouldn't take pictures with her husband for their anniversary, because you can tell she has been fighting cancer in them.

Anna Marie is in the process of surviving cancer, her marriage seems happy and strong, the pictures show her weakened, but she's not hooked to a billion machines or in a hospital or puking, etc. I hope she and Christopher have a great anniversary and many, many more years together. 

[NancyDrewFan1989]

It looks like Christopher and Anna Marie had a vow renewal. I don't think they considered bringing her dress to be taken in due to her battling cancer in the middle of a pandemic. The two of them, to me, do look happy in the first one, but tired in the last one. The two of them have been through a lot in the last year between her battling cancer, having to travel across the country for her treatment, giving birth to a new son, and going through a pandemic while navigating keeping her as safe as possible. I think the two of them are just tired in general juggling all this on top of Anna Marie homeschool and Chris working. All of that may be stressing and tiring them out all at once. Plus, it looks like Anna Marie has been primarily self isolating since her return from Washington only leaving the house to go to doctors appointments and social distancing at her in-laws. So having limited interaction with the outside world could affect her as well.

[Bethy]

8 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

Is this a milestone anniversary for Anna and Chris?  Have they done the photo of Anna in her wedding gown on anniversaries before this one?  If neither is the case,  I think the photo this anniversary is just weird.  Who wants to see a picture of their mom or their beloved looking so ill?  

Obviously we don't see everything that goes on in C&A's life, but I'm remembering a blog post about how Teri put on her wedding gown just about every year on their anniversary, including one year they posted a picture of where she had just given birth to one of the reversals really recently and still got into the dress. It seems to be sort of a mark of good fundie-wife discipline ("I had eight children and  didn't gain an ounce so I am still pleasing to my husband!") It was kind of a red flag to me as I had a friend who was married for several years to a controlling d-bag who made her keep her wedding gown hanging in the closet and put it on on command to prove she wasn't getting fat.

11 hours ago, fundiefan said:

Today is Chris & Anna's anniversary. They did pictures with Anna in her wedding dress. She is swimming in it. It shows how frail she is and how much weight she has lost in this fight. 

Anna lost a noticeable amount of weight in her first year of marriage - and she wasn't heavy by any means on her wedding day! Going from a family that appeared to be healthy and normal and then leaving and cleaving into a family where 3 animal crackers = gluttony must have been hard. But to give birth six times in ten years and have her wedding gown hanging on her like a sack (especially when she may be on cancer-fighting drugs that encourage weight gain) just makes me sad for her. I truly hope that she recovers fully from this and that she and her husband can embrace a healthy body no matter what size/shape it is, and that if the other Maxwells are critical of that, that Christopher tells them where they can shove those opinions.

[kpmom]

5 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

I actually have to give the Maxwells points; I like that they celebrate life as it is, even when things aren't going perfectly.  FJ apparently believes that they should celebrate only when things are going exactly the way they should be and everyone looks perfect and ready for Instagram. Sarah shouldn't have a celebratory birthday, because she's older and single and lives at home and that's not cool in our society. Anna Marie shouldn't take pictures with her husband for their anniversary, because you can tell she has been fighting cancer in them.

 

Where'd you come up with this?  All of the comments I've read about the A&C anniversary pics have been positive.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

3 hours ago, kpmom said:

Where'd you come up with this?  All of the comments I've read about the A&C anniversary pics have been positive.

Did you read the comments on the last page (15)?

[hollyandivy]

WTF Sarah- WTF!!!!

 

Anniversary post for Anna and Cristopher - I am speechless!

[FiveAcres]

15 hours ago, Bethy said:

It was kind of a red flag to me as I had a friend who was married for several years to a controlling d-bag who made her keep her wedding gown hanging in the closet and put it on on command to prove she wasn't getting fat.

?

I hope your use of the past tense means that your friend kicked this jerk to the curb. 

[fundiefan]

My brother & sister in law just celebrated their 25th anniversary and she hauled out her wedding dress and did a photo shoot, so proud it not only fit but was too big. Because in the last year she has been on yet another diet and lost a ton of weight and went to Miami and did bikini photos and went to my nieces wedding in September with a skin tight body/pants suit that I wouldn't let a 21 year old wear. She is all into showing off - all the time, any time. Two of her character traits that are annoying - and obnoxious - as hell. Yo yo dieting (this time next year, she'll be up 2 sizes, minimum...I'd bet my retirement on it) but she'll still be making herself the center of attention in every way imaginable. Then they'll plan a vacation and she'll crash diet for a year and be bikini ready for all those pictures she'll be posing for in whatever location they've chosen. 

Now, there is nothing wrong with keeping your wedding dress or being happy you fit in it 25 or however many years later, or even taking some pictures. But, it was their anniversary, but only she did the photo shoot; my brother wasn't even with her as she traipsed all around downtown - in the middle of a freaking pandemic - to get shots of her at every major landmark, going for the Angelina leg showing - she even had a freaking bouquet. 

[Bethy]

1 hour ago, FiveAcres said:

?

I hope your use of the past tense means that your friend kicked this jerk to the curb. 

Yes she did! I just FB stalked him after years of not thinking about him and it appears he's remarried. I hope wife #2 knew what she was getting into.

I can't even imagine living life under that pressure. I don't believe my wedding gown fits, though I have no way to prove it one way or the other since I had it preserved and it's sealed in a box. Pregnancy expanded my ribcage pretty significantly and even if I didn't weigh an ounce more than I did on my wedding day I doubt it would ever zip again ?‍♀️

[IReallyAmHopewell]

1 hour ago, FiveAcres said:

?

I hope your use of the past tense means that your friend kicked this jerk to the curb. 

The late Rev Billy Graham's wife, Ruth, posed in her wedding dress something like 60 years later.

[Bethy]

1 minute ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

The late Rev Billy Graham's wife, Ruth, posed in her wedding dress something like 60 years later.

It's totally cool if you do it because you can and you want to. I just kind of got a "I have to prove I'm still as thin and therefore desirable as I was at 21 even though I've birthed a whole bunch of kids" vibe from Teri's post and obviously having to go put on your wedding gown on command is just creepy.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

4 hours ago, Bethy said:

It's totally cool if you do it because you can and you want to. I just kind of got a "I have to prove I'm still as thin and therefore desirable as I was at 21 even though I've birthed a whole bunch of kids" vibe from Teri's post and obviously having to go put on your wedding gown on command is just creepy.

I get "my husband is a control freak and I have to stay the same size and keep my ratty hair long" vibe! I can say "ratty" hair because I can look in the mirror and see my own ratty-Covid hair!

[fundiewatch]

To be fair, Terri was seriously depressed so maybe it was a small thing they could do to help her feel good?

I thought the pics of Chris and Anna were lovely. Their marriage looks very strong. 

[Bethy]

54 minutes ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

I get "my husband is a control freak and I have to stay the same size and keep my ratty hair long" vibe! I can say "ratty" hair because I can look in the mirror and see my own ratty-Covid hair!

Oh gosh...I hadn't thought about that. I'm really not thrilled with my hair right now but can't get a cut because covid...I had never thought about a woman in patriarchy/fundamentalism being unhappy because she's got the exact same hair I have right now only she can't EVER do anything to modify it. I at least have the hope that eventually the pandemic will end and going for an impromptu style change will once again be something I can do.

[browngrl]

On 10/22/2020 at 4:01 PM, CyborgKin said:

So Teri unlocks her phone with facial recognition

Is this weird? I always do this. I only use the password because facial recognition doesn't work because of things like low light. Is this yet another way I'm just like Teri? Oh dear...

[PennySycamore]

56 minutes ago, browngrl said:

Is this weird? I always do this. I only use the password because facial recognition doesn't work because of things like low light. Is this yet another way I'm just like Teri? Oh dear...

When I got my iPhone, I was going to set up fingerprint unlocking and somehow it didn't work so I just use my passcode.  Facial recognition is not weird, merely fairly new.  

Back in the 70s, the University of Georgia's dining halls had a system where they'd scan your hand and then imbed the code in your dining hall card. They had to scan your hand every time you went to the dining hall and see if it matched your card.   Generally, if you tried to use someone else's dining card, it would catch it and you could not go through.  I did know these roommates that discovered that they could use each other's cards.  

[Bluebirdbluebell]

5 hours ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

I get "my husband is a control freak and I have to stay the same size and keep my ratty hair long" vibe! I can say "ratty" hair because I can look in the mirror and see my own ratty-Covid hair!

What are you talking about?

[fundiefan]

15 hours ago, browngrl said:

Is this weird? I always do this. I only use the password because facial recognition doesn't work because of things like low light. Is this yet another way I'm just like Teri? Oh dear...

I use facial recognition not only to unlock my phone but to unlock my banking app and a few others. 

I don't bother with it for random apps or shopping or anything like that, but anything that's personal, I'm all in. Can't use Apple Pay or access my financial accounts or my email without my face. Even if you could access the phone itself by breaking the passcode. 

[Bajovane]

23 hours ago, Bethy said:

Yes she did! I just FB stalked him after years of not thinking about him and it appears he's remarried. I hope wife #2 knew what she was getting into.

I can't even imagine living life under that pressure. I don't believe my wedding gown fits, though I have no way to prove it one way or the other since I had it preserved and it's sealed in a box. Pregnancy expanded my ribcage pretty significantly and even if I didn't weigh an ounce more than I did on my wedding day I doubt it would ever zip again ?‍♀️

Yay! I'm glad she booted him out!

As for my own wedding dress, I do still have it and it would hang on me as I had gastric bypass surgery about 16 (...wow, that long already?!) years ago but I certainly am not bikini ready nor do I care to be.   

[Black Aliss]

I mentioned in another thread (might have been in another forum,even) that my mother wore he wedding gown on her 50th anniversary. I guess I failed to mention that there were several decades in between where that would not have been possible. I married in a skirt and sweater, myself, and if I still had those pieces the sweater might still fit but the waistband of the skirt would definitely not. Ask me if I, or my spouse GAF. 

[freethemall]

On 10/21/2020 at 2:04 PM, Coconut Flan said:

I do have one unusual custom I developed due to having out of town medical treatment every four weeks.  It would probably drive Steve batty.  Rather than having to pack every four weeks and going down a master list, I simply bought duplicates of everything and keep the suitcase packed.  I wash the clothes in it when I get home, roll them, and repack them.  When I empty something, the empty goes in a special pocket and I replace it when I get home.  It's so much easier to have the suitcase always ready to go.

I do this for toiletries- I keep a packed toiletry set with various mini bottles already filled, and then when traveling I can just throw it in.

I'm surprised the list doesn't have more canned stuff, including any cream of crap. They're definitely healthier than other fundies, though it's a low bar.

[PsyD2013]

I'd never fit in my wedding dress it was a size 0.  I was married to a controlling jerk who liked me "model thin".   After our divorce I donated the dress to be made into burial gowns for still born and premies that didn't make it in honor of our daughter who passed at 12 weeks of age.  I briefly thought about burning it, but my mom had put hours into sewing it.  

[indianabones]

2 hours ago, freethemall said:

I do this for toiletries- I keep a packed toiletry set with various mini bottles already filled, and then when traveling I can just throw it in.

I'm a professional housesitter, and I have a toiletry kit that's always packed too. I use refillable bottles (GoToobs, they're amazing) and have a separate brush/toothbrush/blow-dryer. I don't keep clothes in my suitcase when I'm home, though- I have a garment bag suitcase (carry-on size), so when I'm about to leave for another job I just hang up as many shirts or dresses as I need in it so they don't get wrinkled and can be hung up where I'm staying as soon as I arrive. I've never mastered the art of rolling up clothes so they arrive unwrinkled. My jobs are mostly less than a week, and a week's worth of clothes fits in my bag perfectly well.

I use an app called Simple Notepad for all of my grocery lists. You can convert text documents to checklists, it's very handy.

Edited October 25, 2020 by indianabones

[Lgirlrocks]

New book is being printed! The new book, no tittle yet, is thought provoking!