Gwen Shamblin Lara 14: What Happens When Tammy Faye & A Zombie Have a Love Child?

[smittykins]

On 2/17/2021 at 6:17 PM, MamaJunebug said:

My German grandma reportedly loved pickled pigs’ feet! Big Mama JB told me that as she showed me a jar in the grocery store. I asked if we had to eat ‘em and she quickly said (hard) no, too! ?

I once saw jars of pickled pigs’ feet at a small corner store in my area.

[quiversR4hunting]

On 2/20/2021 at 11:23 AM, Blue said:

Maybe I'm just selfish (I'm sure that's what RF would say) but I don't think it's crazy for me to want my pastors to preach a new sermon the vast majority of Sundays.  

Former members... what does the congregation think about her constantly just re-playing past videos or WD classes? I mean, never mind that weddings serve as church sermons so in the warmer months they can go weeks without a service that isn't a wedding. Does it bother them in private? (I ask "in private" because we all know that nobody would say anything bad about Gwen or leadership in public ?‍♀️

You aren't selfish, you are right pastors should come up with new material. Catholic lectionary is on a 3 year rotation and so we end up hearing the same readings time again plus the gospels are similar in each book. What I have never heard is the exact same sermon. Ever. Times change, current events, etc all dictate different messages for the time. The people of RF, need to get some food and start thinking again. 

In regards to not going to church all the time, I find my non-denominational or evangelical church going friends often skip church, especially during vacations and the summer. If they came from similar church going pattern prior to RF I bet they don't think much of no services. I've also heard some pastors take vacations and no services are held. (That doesn't happen in the Catholic church, another priest or the deacon presides while another is gone.)

[AmazonGrace]

This message is for YOU. YOU need to be skinnier. You don't love God because you're fat.

The latest devotionals are regular programming. 

TL;DR: Do not eat. 

If it's meal time but you're not hungry, do not eat. If you're hungry but it's not meal time, do not eat. Hunger is a divine signal that tells you to eat but if you ignore hunger it will go away harmlessly. You can ignore God, put hunger on hold, and drink some diet soda, and He will return in a few hours. 

[throwaway9988]

Any rough estimate on what year the documentary will happen? Should I get my hopes up now or wait until later

[AmazonGrace]

Today in Captain Obvious: If your restaurant meal is a huge serving you don't have to eat it all. (Remnant followers must really starve their brains if they need to be  told this annually) https://www.freejinger.org/topic/33127-gwen-shamblin-lara-12-gwen-says-something-i-cant-understand/?do=findComment&comment=1884677

I've left food on my plate and have never been asked if there was something wrong but that's probably because you could see I had eaten some of it and not just pushed it around on the plate.  If waiters who worry because you're not eating are a common problem for you, check with your doctor and ask if an eating disorder  clinic is right for you. 

The goal is to eat as little as possible (just one dead  dandelion and three dried weeds might give you  energy for weeks)

[AmazonGrace]

The World According to Gwen: there are two ways to eat 

1. Binge so much you make yourself sick.

2. Politely  starve yourself. 

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/33127-gwen-shamblin-lara-12-gwen-says-something-i-cant-understand/?do=findComment&comment=1885132

In theory, eating until you feel satisfied sounds perfectly reasonable but it's clear from all the other posts that really she means do not eat if there's any way to avoid it.

[throwaway9988]

The more I think about it, the more I think the Gwen/Remnant documentary could be the next Tiger King.  It definitely has all the same basic pieces, such as a cast full of wacko characters as well the drama of a murder. I just hope it also delves deeper into all the toxic stuff that is not so easily digestible by a wide audience of people who are unfamiliar with Gwen or fundies. 

 

I tend not to tell anyone in my real life about the Remnant because I don't even know where to start. There is just so much information to cover that it can feel impossible to even try to break each component down and explain it step by step to a stranger.  Doing so might not make for entertaining TV in a day and age when viewers are used to short sound bites rather than arguments that are built brick by brick from the ground up. 

 

And there is just so much about this cult that needs to be explained well, such as how insane it is to interpret every incident of every second of every day as some sort of sign from God; how damaging it is to children when they are told their parents' decisions are God's decisions even when their parents are clearly wrong or stupid or abusive; how toxic it is to brainwash people by telling them they are soldiers in a spiritual war and that if they think a critical thought about Gwen or eat one bite too many that they are helping Satan defeat the forces of Good; how women's bodies are constantly judged and then pressured into marriage and childbearing...and then staying married despite abuses until suddenly divorce is okay once Gwen decides she wants a divorce for herself. The list goes on and on.

 

Frankly, I hope that the documentary restricts itself to interviewing former members, law enforcement, etc.  Because you just know that if they interview any current Remnant member that the member will just spew the same nonsense about "this message" and "blessings" and "relationship, not religion" and "signs/answered prayers." Giving the Remnant cultists a platform in the name of telling both sides of the story could be the wrong thing to do.  If that is the case I hope there are plenty of professionals such as scientists, psychologists, and therapists reading prepared statements that point out how nothing happening in the Remnant is supernatural, and how all the things that Remnant members tend to gush about tend to be ridiculous at best and psychologically harmful at worst. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, throwaway9988 said:

The more I think about it, the more I think the Gwen/Remnant documentary could be the next Tiger King.  It definitely has all the same basic pieces, such as a cast full of wacko characters as well the drama of a murder. I just hope it also delves deeper into all the toxic stuff that is not so easily digestible by a wide audience of people who are unfamiliar with Gwen or fundies. 

 

I tend not to tell anyone in my real life about the Remnant because I don't even know where to start. There is just so much information to cover that it can feel impossible to even try to break each component down and explain it step by step to a stranger.  Doing so might not make for entertaining TV in a day and age when viewers are used to short sound bites rather than arguments that are built brick by brick from the ground up. 

 

And there is just so much about this cult that needs to be explained well, such as how insane it is to interpret every incident of every second of every day as some sort of sign from God; how damaging it is to children when they are told their parents' decisions are God's decisions even when their parents are clearly wrong or stupid or abusive; how toxic it is to brainwash people by telling them they are soldiers in a spiritual war and that if they think a critical thought about Gwen or eat one bite too many that they are helping Satan defeat the forces of Good; how women's bodies are constantly judged and then pressured into marriage and childbearing...and then staying married despite abuses until suddenly divorce is okay once Gwen decides she wants a divorce for herself. The list goes on and on.

 

Frankly, I hope that the documentary restricts itself to interviewing former members, law enforcement, etc.  Because you just know that if they interview any current Remnant member that the member will just spew the same nonsense about "this message" and "blessings" and "relationship, not religion" and "signs/answered prayers." Giving the Remnant cultists a platform in the name of telling both sides of the story could be the wrong thing to do.  If that is the case I hope there are plenty of professionals such as scientists, psychologists, and therapists reading prepared statements that point out how nothing happening in the Remnant is supernatural, and how all the things that Remnant members tend to gush about tend to be ridiculous at best and psychologically harmful at worst. 

The thing about documentaries in this day and age is that it can be a starting point for some people. They watch the documentary and it makes them more interested in the topic. Then they can Google and find more info online. Possibly even FJ, lol!

[AmazonGrace]

Today in the Annals of Excuses: "Sorry boss, I was late for work because I ate too much last night and couldn't find clothes that fit"

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1722240

Your boss: "Next time, try buying clothes that are your size."

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 hour ago, AmazonGrace said:

Today in the Annals of Excuses: "Sorry boss, I was late for work because I ate too much last night and couldn't find clothes that fit"

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1722240

Your boss: "Next time, try buying clothes that are your size."

This is too topical for me.   I've lost a bit of weight in the last several months and considered going home today to change because a shirt that was totally work appropriate when I was heavier keeps falling open and the front of my bra was totally exposed in my office today.  

I know this has nothing to do with Gwen, just found it funny considering I should also try wearing clothes that are my size.

 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

On 2/24/2021 at 12:46 PM, AmazonGrace said:

I've left food on my plate and have never been asked if there was something wrong but that's probably because you could see I had eaten some of it and not just pushed it around on the plate.  If waiters who worry because you're not eating are a common problem for you, check with your doctor and ask if an eating disorder  clinic is right for you. 

As a lifelong picky eater and someone who when young had a severe ED I cosign all of this.  I got asked about it when it was clear I ate nothing, because they wanted to make sure nothing was wrong with the food.  

My usual just leaving food because I don't want it no one has ever said one word.  I wonder how their God feels about using him as a front for their cult of disordered eating.

[AmazonGrace]

Today in Hairy Potter and the Half Food Thins:

Thin Eaters may scare you but you have a patronus: you can scare them with food. They DREAD the full feeling.

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1722624

 

Most spells won't work but you can incapacitate a Thin Eater with a good dinner.

[AmazonGrace]

In today's episode of Hairy Potter and the Deathly Swallows we dabble with the dark arts:

The potion of food will give the victim heartburn, ulcers and pains! The eating spell will destroy their work, relationships, finances, time, joy, outlook, and children! The meal horcrux will take away their energy!

If you don't feel the pains properly associated with food, make a list of your sufferings  anyway so you might convince yourself that food magic is too dark and dangerous for you to dabble with:

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1723020

 

[throwaway9988]

Is amazongrace a writer irl? I would never be able to routinely come up with all these entertaining puns and allusions!

[AmazonGrace]

1 hour ago, throwaway9988 said:

Is amazongrace a writer irl? I would never be able to routinely come up with all these entertaining puns and allusions!

professionally I write quite a lot of text that is not supposed to be funny or entertaining at all but I have been known to produce some fan fiction.
 

Today in Fantastic Beasts and How to Find Them we learn to recognize the ravenous, head- strong, willful, and self-loving monster called Head Hunger.

Spoiler

 

How to Recognize Head Hunger

March 01, 2021

by Gwen Shamblin Lara

0 Comment

Once you begin to wait for true physiological hunger, you discover that there is another feeling of hunger. It is your own “I am not hungry, but I want it anyway” will. We will call this head hunger, sensual desires, or greed. This desire is beyond what the Heavenly Father wants for you, and it is a fixation on a sensation of “it tastes good.” Many drives can feed this behavior over the years. It seems to fill up time and end boredom. It is the learned habit that popcorn must go with a movie—even if you are not hungry.

The more we control when we eat, what we feed ourselves, and please our own desires, the stronger the desire eating is. The reverse is also true… the more we wait on God, look to God, please God— the less we will please ourselves, and the head hunger will die! But for most who thought they needed to diet, desire eating has grown so over the years that it might even have turned into a ravenous, head- strong, willful, and self-loving monster. It feels like a magnetic force to the refrigerator that controls you rather than you controlling it.

 

Gwen wants you to go all the way down. Why doesn't it sound like a good thing?

[Mrs Ms]

9 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

professionally I write quite a lot of text that is not supposed to be funny or entertaining at all but I have been known to produce some fan fiction.
 

Today in Fantastic Beasts and How to Find Them we learn to recognize the ravenous, head- strong, willful, and self-loving monster called Head Hunger.

  Hide contents

 

How to Recognize Head Hunger

March 01, 2021

by Gwen Shamblin Lara

0 Comment

Once you begin to wait for true physiological hunger, you discover that there is another feeling of hunger. It is your own “I am not hungry, but I want it anyway” will. We will call this head hunger, sensual desires, or greed. This desire is beyond what the Heavenly Father wants for you, and it is a fixation on a sensation of “it tastes good.” Many drives can feed this behavior over the years. It seems to fill up time and end boredom. It is the learned habit that popcorn must go with a movie—even if you are not hungry.

The more we control when we eat, what we feed ourselves, and please our own desires, the stronger the desire eating is. The reverse is also true… the more we wait on God, look to God, please God— the less we will please ourselves, and the head hunger will die! But for most who thought they needed to diet, desire eating has grown so over the years that it might even have turned into a ravenous, head- strong, willful, and self-loving monster. It feels like a magnetic force to the refrigerator that controls you rather than you controlling it.

 

 

 

 

Gwen wants you to go all the way down. Why doesn't it sound like a good thing?

Love the “fan fiction”! And bless you for the recaps and Gwen-English translations. 
Fantastic Feasts  Beasts alright.

[AmazonGrace]

Anyone longing to travel? Gwen has some tips for y'all.

She says it's tips "How to Avoid the Pain of Guilt and Overeating" but I would rename it the exact opposite, "How to Feel Guilty about Eating"

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1723904

TL;DR

1. convince yourself that eating is evil and everything bad that ever ailed you, every unpleasant sensation, every tiredness is because you're a fat slob

2. buy clothes that are too small for you

3. hate yourself because your clothes don't fit

This has been, the Bony Planet's Guide to Guilt Trips.

Edited March 2, 2021 by AmazonGrace

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Chiming in on the supernatural RF 'oooooooo look signs from God' beliefs. 

I remember an engagement story where the young man was in a quandary and wondered if the girl he liked was the one God wanted for him. So he prayed for God to send him a sign. And you know what?!?! Later that morning he saw 2 -- yes 2 -- blue jays and that afternoon he saw another!  Three ... count 'em 3 blue jays sighted in one day.

Well golly gee Ned. That was surely a sign from God. Blue jays just don't show up outside unless God sends them. So the young man knew God said the girl was definitely for him, he went a courting and a few months later they were engaged!!  Wow! Imagine that. Three blue jay sightings in 1 DAY. What a miraculous supernatural event. Surely a sign from God if there ever was one.

Now I seem to be having a sign from God myself but I'm not sure what for as I haven't asked God for a sign.  Help me out FJers, especially former RFers.

Every morning all winter long I've seen 20-30-40 red wing blackbirds in my neighbor's tree from my bathroom window (2nd story) . (There is a bird feeder under the tree). They swoop around from, limb to limb, fly off en mass, circle the tree top, and then light again.. It's quite a sight. Redwing blackbirds don't usually come to GA in the winter., but they have to my neighbor's for the last 3-4 years. More of them every year.

So what is God Gwod trying to tell me? I'm in a quandary like the young man -- except I don't have a clue what the daily redwing blackbird sightings are for.  What's a a girl to do???

Signed -- Not in RF, but God seems to be signalling me anyway

[AmazonGrace]

Gwen's signs from God seem to be telling her one of two things:

1. Don't eat.

2. God wants Gwen to do whatever Gwen currently wants to do.

[throwaway9988]

3 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Chiming in on the supernatural RF 'oooooooo look signs from God' beliefs. 

I remember an engagement story where the young man was in a quandary and wondered if the girl he liked was the one God wanted for him. So he prayed for God to send him a sign. And you know what?!?! Later that morning he saw 2 -- yes 2 -- blue jays and that afternoon he saw another!  Three ... count 'em 3 blue jays sighted in one day.

Well golly gee Ned. That was surely a sign from God. Blue jays just don't show up outside unless God sends them. So the young man knew God said the girl was definitely for him, he went a courting and a few months later they were engaged!!  Wow! Imagine that. Three blue jay sightings in 1 DAY. What a miraculous supernatural event. Surely a sign from God if there ever was one.

Now I seem to be having a sign from God myself but I'm not sure what for as I haven't asked God for a sign.  Help me out FJers, especially former RFers.

Every morning all winter long I've seen 20-30-40 red wing blackbirds in my neighbor's tree from my bathroom window (2nd story) . (There is a bird feeder under the tree). They swoop around from, limb to limb, fly off en mass, circle the tree top, and then light again.. It's quite a sight. Redwing blackbirds don't usually come to GA in the winter., but they have to my neighbor's for the last 3-4 years. More of them every year.

So what is God Gwod trying to tell me? I'm in a quandary like the young man -- except I don't have a clue what the daily redwing blackbird sightings are for.  What's a a girl to do???

Signed -- Not in RF, but God seems to be signalling me anyway

Clearly God wants you to marry somewhere between six and thirteen Remnant women. Be sure to give God all the credit in your testimony so that you can force the entire congregation to fake excitement by giving you a standing ovation afterwards!

[Ozlsn]

9 hours ago, throwaway9988 said:

Clearly God wants you to marry somewhere between six and thirteen Remnant women. Be sure to give God all the credit in your testimony so that you can force the entire congregation to fake excitement by giving you a standing ovation afterwards!

Although given these are Red wings, and red is the opposite of blue, but they are also blackbirds it could mean that God wants you to adopt cats. Or dogs. Possibly ferrets.

[RFsurvivor]

So you are conditioned to look for signs when you are looking for an answer from God. Since you are always praying, you are always looking for a sign. Many members have adopted a version of Gwen’s sign: the sighting of a bird. For Gwen, it’s a cardinal. Some members have different signs, but most are rather common place items. 
 

There are many variations but since you believe that you are a TRUE SAINT, you know that God is talking to you. And thus begins the cycle, pray for something, see sign, confirmation of prayer working, Gwen is right, repeat. 

[AmazonGrace]

Today in Alice in Hungerland:

Quote

“Alice laughed. 'There's no use trying,' she said. 'One can't believe contradictory things.'
'I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Gwen. 'When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six contradictory things before skipping breakfast. There goes the Growl again!”

 *Lewis Carrot*

Today we will learn to believe that

1. Looking for a feeling is okay because God gave you those feelings.

2. Looking for a feeling is not okay because it won't last forever and eventually you're going to want another feeling.

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1724342

If you eat, you are just going to want to eat again later, so what's the point? Smoke a cigarette, and sometime later you're going to want another cigarette. If you get money it feels great  for a while but eventually you're going to run out and need to get some more money. If you gratify your sexual lust and if it was any good, you're just going to want more sex later. If you get intoxicated today,  tomorrow you will be sober and have to get  drunk again.  You can have a marriage but it won't last and then you will find yourself in another marriage. (Even worse, it could be Joe.) So what's the dog damned point of doing anything? I went to work today but I'm supposed to go tomorrow too... I'm sure it's against God's will to have a job.

Even on Gwen's  standards this is a stupid argument because the Bible never said that it's okay to do only things that last forever or things that you are going to want to do only once.... and because the same exact principle applies to  eating with Gwen's method as well. Even with the Growl, you are looking for feelings,  because hungry and not-hungry are feelings. And no matter how much Growl you wait for before you eat, it won't last forever and eventually you will get hungry again.

[Alisamer]

19 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Now I seem to be having a sign from God myself but I'm not sure what for as I haven't asked God for a sign.  Help me out FJers, especially former RFers.

Every morning all winter long I've seen 20-30-40 red wing blackbirds in my neighbor's tree from my bathroom window (2nd story) . (There is a bird feeder under the tree). They swoop around from, limb to limb, fly off en mass, circle the tree top, and then light again.. It's quite a sight. Redwing blackbirds don't usually come to GA in the winter., but they have to my neighbor's for the last 3-4 years. More of them every year.

So what is God Gwod trying to tell me? I'm in a quandary like the young man -- except I don't have a clue what the daily redwing blackbird sightings are for.  What's a a girl to do???

To answer your question, I pulled a single tarot card (hey, why not, right? If God can speak through birds why not cards?) As my cards tend to be literal and sarcastic I wasn't terribly surprised when I got 8 of wands, which is literally a group of 8 wands flying through the air. It's generally a card of swift forward motion, but I think in this case it's more literal. You see the blackbirds there because they flew there. 

I think God is trying to tell you that 1) climate is changing, therefore bird habitats are too and 2) birds like to congregate where there is food. 

I suspect this could be easily tested by removing the bird feeder, and seeing if the birds still show up after a week or two. 

[Hane]

Trigger warning—child death.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Regarding the sighting of redwing blackbirds:

In a horrible event in my area years ago, a man who was under psychiatric treatment for psychosis stabbed his six-year-old daughter to death when she came into the kitchen to ask for a snack. Then he went out into his yard, where some squirrels came down from a tree to “greet” him, and he took it as a sign from God that he had done the right thing.

The DA immediately deemed him incompetent to stand trial and he was hospitalized. The man’s poor wife was a beloved school principal, who left her job in grief.

Edited March 3, 2021 by Hane