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nelliebelle1197

M Is For Mama 8: She Really Is Awful

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So-Virgin-It-Hurts
21 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

She does it yet again today. These types of stories are embarrassing for little ones and it doesn't make it ok to share just because he won't see it. My only takeaway from it is that Abbie and Shaun have too many children to care for properly. Poor Honor.

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A common thought I have about many of these over-sharing FJ families and YouTube families who film everything: have you learned nothing about the lives of former "child stars" and other children who grew-up in a public bubble? 

Also - no way Abbie was going to miss church. Imagine the fawning and sugary praise she received. It's another avenue to feed her martyr-mother status.

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Zommom

In her story yesterday she filmed the melt down of both babies and poor Shiloh crying on the floor while rubbing his face on his hands, which is a self comforting thing little ones do when they are beyond upset. No words of comfort heard from Abbie. Shawn isn’t around to help with a baby or two. It was heartbreaking to listen to and watch how she made it all seem so casual and unimportant. Even if right after filming, she put down her camera and picked up Shiloh or her boy-dads came to help or Shawn made an appearance, or she offered some level of comfort, that’s not what she filmed and wanted us to see. 

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3 minutes ago, So-Virgin-It-Hurts said:

A common thought I have about many of these over-sharing FJ families and YouTube families who film everything: have you learned nothing about the lives of former "child stars" and other children who grew-up in a public bubble? 

Also - no way Abbie was going to miss church. Imagine the fawning and sugary praise she received. It's another avenue to feed her martyr-mother status.

Church is where she shows off in real life. That how she gets oodles of real-life praise and narcissistic supply. 

Edited by Zommom
Spellling
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Ozlsn
9 minutes ago, Zommom said:

that’s not what she filmed and wanted us to see. 

No, she wants "poor Abbie, you have so much to deal with with two babies and a toddler crying!" 

Well yes, so put the effing phone down and comfort your children. 

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JermajestyDuggar

It’s such a great idea to bring your family of twelve (including two newborns) to church when there is still a fucking pandemic going on. I understand that she doesn’t give a single fuck about anyone but herself. Yet I’m still so disgusted every time she does this. 

Edited by JermajestyDuggar
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Cults-r-us

Maybe the family got a break from Braggie by having her in the bathroom for an hour with the twinbies.

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SassyPants

I was wondering about all those chicken/Fry meals on the table (yesterday’s IG). Yep, kids eat free Sunday. And today, per IG, she needs to order more YL and PLEXUS. Good god, she’s on the PLexus-

But don’t forget she’s a Republican and all about taking care of yourself, except that they don’t take care of themselves. They rely on everyone else to meet needs. How are they blind to this? Biggest users, ever!

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Zommom

Well, it’s no surprise Abbie is already losing her shit. I believe 100% she didn’t calm her rage. 

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Bluebirdbluebell

I have no idea why people film endlessly. I wouldn't want video of everything. 

I never heard of Plexus, until fundie-snark. There must be a reason so many fundies love Plexus.

19 minutes ago, Zommom said:

Well, it’s no surprise Abbie is already losing her shit. I believe 100% she didn’t calm her rage. 

What are you referring to?

Edited by Bluebirdbluebell

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Zommom
19 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

What are you referring to?

In her IG postage wrote about her mood and how she managed to calm the rage. A plug about #gentlenesschallenge and a  refusal to talk about her real ppd issues. Abbie being Abbie.

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JermajestyDuggar

Of course she’s not going to be in a good mood. She hates dealing with young children and she has twin newborns, a 1 year old and a 3 year old. That’s three in diapers and one not completely potty trained since she talked about his pee accident on instagram for the world to see. 

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feministxtian

I see Braggie handing off her spawn to whoever will take them and then I see my granddaughters...what a life those kids have! Older granddaughter is never without playmates, parental (grandparental) supervision, is loved and cherished for WHO she is (a fantastic kid). Baby A is rarely, if ever, alone. She spends most of her life cuddled in someone's arms. Big sister is NOT responsible for baby A at all. Big sister has her school, friends, soccer team and lots of freedom to roam the neighborhood every afternoon. Baby A gets her little tummy full whenever she makes a noise, her little butt is always clean and dry. She sleeps on mommy, daddy or grandma...so spoiled!! 

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SuperNova
5 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

There must be a reason so many fundies love Plexus.

Because it's socially acceptable mom crack. 

Incoming unpopular opinion. I'm going to give Abbie a small measure of credit for correctly identifying that she was having an episode. She had some self awareness and was able to reign it in to a degree and not take it directly out on the kids. No doubt that they were aware that something was off though. Abbie also vocalized her issue to Shaun which is a therapeutic technique that helps with behavior accountability. I think the reason she "still felt strange all night long" was because self awareness and corresponding action is novel to her. But she did nothing to actually address the issue itself. 

With that being said, there's some mental health red flags here that shouldn't be ignored. If she was someone I knew personally, I would encourage her to talk to a therapist to help her find some useful coping mechanisms beyond the Holy Spirit. She used the word "rage" and that's an alarm bell for me. 

Edited by SuperNova

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Bluebirdbluebell

Here is the text from that post in a spoiler for people without Instagram. 

Spoiler

18 months ago, I started @thegentlenesschallenge as a way of holding myself accountable to fight against the hormonal funk I was in after I had Shiloh. It was such a good experience (for me, and so many of you said the same).

Well. Yesterday, I woke up from a too-long Sunday nap feeling groggy and irritable. Shaun was outside with the kids trying to recreate #theHkidswheel, and I was going to video the process bc it was hilariously chaotic.

Only, apparently, my phone hadn’t actually been plugged into the wall, and it died just as I went outside.

This felt very personal (which should have been my first clue that something was “off).

Then, as we attempted to situate 10 kids + six wiggly puppies, nobody was cooperating particularly well.

And that felt personal too.

When we came back inside, I noticed how much dirt had been tracked across the rug, which also felt very intentional and personally offensive.

Thankfully, it was at this moment that the Holy Spirit leaned in and whispered, “Abbie, this is your hormones talking, not reality.”

Shaun saw me staring out the window, wrestling with the waves of urges to cry, alternating with insensible rage and impotent frustration, and asked what was wrong.

Before I started @thegentlenesschallenge, I probably would’ve snapped, “Nothing!”

But the Lord has been gracious to grow me and make me more aware of what’s happening when I experience this. So instead, I told him how I was feeling and that I was fighting to preach truth to myself.

Several kids walked up and asked me things, and I managed to keep my voice calm + my face pleasant while I answered, even though I felt neither.

And you know what? The anger began to wane. I still felt strange all night long, but I’ve learned that, when I get like this, acting on my feelings only feeds my feelings all the more. Raising my voice or indulging my impatience is like gasoline on a fire. Suddenly, I’m not just angry for no good reason. I’m righteously incensed!

Eph. 4:26 says, “In your anger do not sin,” which is different than simply “don’t get angry” (bc we can wake up angry and not know why). Continued on the next slide.

I sometimes feel out of the loop, because I don't know what people are talking about. Hopefully this is helpful for people. 

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Melissa1977

Abbie shows what others hide. At the end of the day, ALL quiverful mothers are living the same. Twin newborns plus toddlers is very hard, and if you add a bunch of older kids, go imagine. Abbie may be spoiled, has child-servants, her mother etc but even in that situation she has a lot of stress. I don't pity her: she has decided to have her quiver and she is an awful mom. But if we were a fly in the wall in the house of whatever of the thousands IG moms with 6, 8, 10 beautiful dressed children, we would see similar situations. 

I have friends who have only 2 kids, but very close in age, and had difficulties to properly care for them sometimes (both needed a diaper change, or one needing to nurse while the other just soaked his clothes with a glass of milk etc). It's normal and no big deal, but stressful and a bit sad sometimes (I know it has a bright side, too!). When a mother has lived like that for years (or a decade!) probably becomes harder, just to survive. I bet Michelle would have been horrified of blankettraining when she had 3 kids, but cheerfully did it when #10 and #11 arrived.

Not defending Abbie. Just saying that I very much doubt other quiverfuls are much better.

Edited by Melissa1977
Forgot something

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JermajestyDuggar
4 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Abbie shows what others hide. At the end of the day, ALL quiverful mothers are living the same. Twin newborns plus toddlers is very hard, and if you add a bunch of older kids, go imagine. Abbie may be spoiled, has child-servants, her mother etc but even in that situation she has a lot of stress. I don't pity her: she has decided to have her quiver and she is an awful mom. But if we were a fly in the wall in the house of whatever of the thousands IG moms with 6, 8, 10 beautiful dressed children, we would see similar situations. 

I have friends who have only 2 kids, but very close in age, and had difficulties to properly care for them sometimes (both needed a diaper change, or one needing to nurse while the other just soaked his clothes with a glass of milk etc). It's normal and no big deal, but stressful and a bit sad sometimes (I know it has a bright side, too!). When a mother has lived like that for years (or a decade!) probably becomes harder, just to survive. I bet Michelle would have been horrified of blankettraining when she had 3 kids, but cheerfully did it when #10 and #11 arrived.

Not defending Abbie. Just saying that I very much doubt other quiverfuls are much better.

Braggie (and many other quiverful moms) would have been happier and healthier with only a few kids. Braggie would have been best to stop at 3. Zoo would have been happier to stop at 5 or 6. Nic Nog would have been happier with 3 or 4. I think the mental health of these three I mentioned went way down as they had more and more children they couldn’t handle. 

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SassyPants

Who could happily and healthily deal (have dealt) with all those kids? Anyone? A fundie day is only 24 hours too. There’s just not enough time in the day to happily, sanely and effectIvely parent and nurture all those kids, and take care of yourself. And that’s before dealing with the house, cooking, grocery shopping, puppies, appliance decorating...Let’s hope they are done. And how much of a clod would he have to be to ask her what’s wrong? Look around and start helping out whenever you’re available, dude.

Edited by SassyPants

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JermajestyDuggar
3 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Who could happily and healthily deal (have dealt) with all those kids? Anyone? A fundie day is only 24 hours too. There’s just not enough time in the day to happily, sanely and effectIvely parent and nurture all those kids, and take care of yourself. And that’s before dealing with the house, cooking, grocery shopping, puppies, appliance decorating...Let’s hope they are done. And how much of a clod would he have to be ask her what’s wrong? Look around and start helping out whenever you’re available, dude.

This is exactly why quiverful is wrong. Sure some folks are lucky and they aren’t super fertile. They end up with 6 or 7 well spaced kids and things work out ok. But most of these people marry young because they aren’t allowed to have sex before marriage. This means most couples will have more children than they can handle. And the children suffer the most in my opinion.

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SassyPants
1 minute ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

This is exactly why quiverful is wrong. Sure some folks are lucky and they aren’t super fertile. They end up with 6 or 7 well spaced kids and things work out ok. But most of these people marry young because they aren’t allowed to have sex before marriage. This means most couples will have more children than they can handle. And the children suffer the most in my opinion.

And let’s face it, the  H kids have Abbie's parents and Shaun’s who both provide a great deal of care. Of note regarding this episode we are talking about, all the kids were home and there was no mention of Abbie’s mom. Those kids are very fortunate that Savta(SP) is literally a third parent much of the time. Left to their own volition, A and S clearly are out kidded.

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SuperNova

Aaaand Abbie is already back to martyrbating. Yesterday was pure rage and today she's nothing but grateful to be doing what she hates. It makes her feel like a hero. Keep your eyes peeled for regular Tuesday meltdowns as the older boys will be otherwise engaged at the homeschool co-op. Or alternately it may become a regular day for grandma to spend quality time with her grandkids.

Spoiler

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Here's one of the two pics that accompanied the post. The first was a boring picture of the white couch. She also posted this one of her "art". I'm mildly dyslexic and had a really hard time sussing out what the hell this thing said. Too many cutesy fonts and RANDOM capitalizations. 

Spoiler

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Edited by SuperNova
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Ozlsn
3 hours ago, SuperNova said:

Here's one of the two pics that accompanied the post. The first was a boring picture of the white couch. She also posted this one of her "art". I'm mildly dyslexic and had a really hard time sussing out what the hell this thing said. Too many cutesy fonts and RANDOM capitalizations. 

  Hide contents

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So we have a piece of calligraphy, a coffee cup, lipstick, perfume, a green box that says... "crayons"? not sure, a necklace, a hessian thing. Honestly nothing there except maybe the crayon box says "motherhood" to me - not for younger kids, older kids, anything. It's much more "I wish I was a childless artist living in a totally quiet but upmarket apartment in a bohemian area. With good cafes. Where no one can steal my crayons." 

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The butcher's wife

In her latest Instagram stories she is driving her van through the car wash as a "treat" while 3 of her kids are at their piano lessons. She has the twins and Honor in the row behind her and Della in the passenger seat. Meanwhile, Shiloh is sitting two rows behind her and screaming his head off. Della calls out to him trying to calm him. And Abbie? Is filming three slides worth of stories without so much as a word of comfort for her toddler (she writes that usually everybody loves the car wash but Shiloh was less than impressed). Tell me again how much you love your "rad" blessings, Abbie.

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Melissa1977
6 hours ago, SuperNova said:

She also posted this one of her "art".

I only have 2 kids and I find little time for hobbies. She has 10, including 2 newborns and is able to paint? WTF??? 

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Bluebirdbluebell

I don't understand why she keeps filming. Particularly why does she keep filming her kids her screaming? It doesn't make me envy her or anyone else envy her, even people who want big families. It doesn't make feel sorry for her, you chose to have all those kids. It doesn't make me want to tell her what a horrible person she is, which she clearly feeds on negative attention and craves it constantly. It just makes me want her to quit filming. Nobody cares, and no one wants to see it. I assume she has some followers reassuring her, but this doesn't seem compelling  to me. 

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danvillebelle

Pretty sure her friend who does the Paint and Prose business with her is the artist, not Braggie.

Thanks for the heads up on the kid crying IG story.  I can't stand hearing little kids cry...not because it's their fault in any way but because it ramps my anxiety up to 100 in zero seconds flat.  Always has.  

If that little scenario isn't perfect proof of how much IG likes rule her life, I don't know what is.  Ignore your crying child (who is acting out because his world just got turned upside down with not one but TWO babies younger than him who take all mom's attention) and film a...car wash.  Alrighty then.

 

Edited by danvillebelle

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JermajestyDuggar
4 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

I only have 2 kids and I find little time for hobbies. She has 10, including 2 newborns and is able to paint? WTF??? 

Same. Zoo makes sure there is time for her hobbies of baking and sewing. She serves desserts for breakfast most days and then sews with Miriam while the kids nap. I imagine these women are so unhappy with their large broods that they have to do their hobbies in order to survive. 

Edited by JermajestyDuggar

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