M Is For Mama 8: She Really Is Awful

[katilac]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

She’s on her high horse tonight. Kids are great and don’t impact your life or marriage  at all.

New hashtag alert! #iamamotherand 

 

[Ozlsn]

14 hours ago, SassyPants said:

How about sticking the socks, sorted by color, in washing bags? I know some people who have a dedicated bag for each family member. Kids throw their dirty socks into their laundry bags, and the bags go right into the washer and dryer. 

I hang socks on the line in pairs and put them together as I take them off... and I still have ones that are separated and one was in one wash and one in the next!

3 hours ago, SassyPants said:

She’s on her high horse tonight. Kids are great and don’t impact your life or marriage  at all. What she failed to say is her mother and in-laws are also parents to her kids and do much of the heavy lifting. I can see why she is a Trump supporter. She’s a bullshitter too.

Quoting myself...Jesus doesn't like liars, Abbie.

Unless you have subcontracted literally every part of raising them out, um yeah they do. It is really different even just going out the door with kids in tow than it is with just you and partner - and that doesn't change as they get older from what I can tell, just the stuff does. One of the things I loved about travelling by myself to my friend's wedding was being able to just grab my bag and walk out the door in 5 minutes flat - no checking if I had drink bottles or nappy bag or sports bag or instrument or all the hats. Just one hat, one drink bottle, one bag. Luxury!!

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Her kids sure have impacted her life. Everything she hates in life has to do with her kids. She hates pregnancy, cooking for a big family, cleaning up after a big family, twins, varicose veins, teaching classes while pregnant, gaining weight, toddlerhood, preschool age, and teaching piano to her kids. Is she delusional? 

She spends a lot of energy convincing herself that she loves her life. I think she would have been much happier with maybe up to 3 children, and a career in home decorating or furnishing or even setting houses up to photograph for real estate - something where she could get all that creativity out in a productive direction.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I think she'd have been much happier child-free. Probably even happier single.

All of Braggie's attention is focused on herself and what she wants. It's a whole lot easier to be selfish, self-centered and self absorbed when there is only yourself in your life.

Edited October 10, 2020 by Red Hair, Black Dress

[Zommom]

Grrrrr....So, Abbie is gaslighting once again. This is Abbie, in a nutshell. Claiming how being a mother hasn’t negatively affected her is her worst and best qualifying character. She is such a snobbish, humblebrag, bitchy, lying-through-her-teeth idiot. Why does she have so much stupid things to say and have people buying into it? Get over yourself, Abby. You are unoriginal, foolish, and a poor example of godliness and loveliness. I can’t with this woman. 

[SassyPants]

2 hours ago, Zommom said:

Grrrrr....So, Abbie is gaslighting once again. This is Abbie, in a nutshell. Claiming how being a mother hasn’t negatively affected her is her worst and best qualifying character. She is such a snobbish, humblebrag, bitchy, lying-through-her-teeth idiot. Why does she have so much stupid things to say and have people buying into it? Get over yourself, Abby. You are unoriginal, foolish, and a poor example of godliness and loveliness. I can’t with this woman. 

I am particularly bothered by her BS because all the consequences of her words and actions fall on other people, and much of the time, children. I wish people did not see her as some sort of trail blazer and authority on all things motherhood, homemaking and marriage. All the skills and traits that are needed to create a lovely life, home, marriage with a very large family have 100% alluded Abbie. It’s all smoke and mirrors and Sofita labor and in law help and oodles of money that have come from somewhere, but certainly not solely from the labors of Abbie and Shaun. There is no way that they saved many, many tens of thousands of dollars, purchased and built many homes, when they married as youngsters and started dropping kids from  9 months out. It doesn’t add up. Nothing about her is authentic.

[SuperNova]

Abbie says that motherhood hasn't stripped her of her identity and I would agree. She doesn't seem to have had much of one before becoming a breeder of little Christian tithers.

She claims says that secular culture paints motherhood as a, "soul sucking slog through a wasteland of bills, lost sleep, and monotony." She's not wrong that that is true for some but it has nothing to secular vs. Christian. It has more to do with the differences in income and opportunities. What does Abbie do to help women who feel this way? Is she volunteering her time babysitting at a women's shelter so those ladies can work? Does she use her bilingual skills to teach an ESL night class to adults trying to better themselves? Does she donate her children's cast off clothing to help low income families? No. No. No. Because if she did, we would hear about it. Like every other hypocritical fundie, Abbie only serves self while pointing her finger at others who have to do without. It very easy to sit in your custom home, with your support system, and high tax bracket and shake your head at other women who are just trying to do their best with little to no resources. I would argue that it's probably worse for Christian women because they have to keep shooting out babies no matter what.

[SassyPants]

Good point about Abbie not doing anything to help other mothers. She can’t use time as an excuse as she and Shaun never seem to miss a standing Thursday night date and restaurant scarf. How come as a couple they can’t dedicate 1 Thursday night each month to helping families in need? 

[tankgirl]

18 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I think she'd have been much happier child-free. Probably even happier single.

All of Braggie's attention is focused on herself and what she wants. It's a whole lot easier to be selfish, self-centered and self absorbed when there is only yourself in your life.

Not that I have kept up with her in ages, this comment made me just realise, that Abbie is Rachael of the ferret novel, most loved by Jesus, the bringer of horses, before she got married and had kids. I suspect if she stayed on Rachel's path, but with more fitness classes, we would see a very familiar parallel.

 

Which makes me sadder that Abbie ever found anyone to breed with, and hopeful that Rachel stays single forever! 

[SassyPants]

I feel bad for Abbie because she seems unable to make a clear, rational decision for herself and her family. She hates pregnancy, weight gain, dependent beings, labor, housework, cooking...she abhors it all, as many women do, but the vast majority make better decisions. Abbie just keeps on doing the same things she resents doing and makes everyone around her miserable in the process. I wonder how many of her kids will end up childless? And her mother...I wonder if her chief motivating factors are keeping the kids safe, and the money Abbie gives her?

[Bluebirdbluebell]

Are her kids going to be able to make their own choices? They're being indoctrinated in the gospel according to Abbie and Shaun. I think their parents will pressure them to follow in their footsteps; most fundies do that. 

One thing I find puzzling is she doesn't seem to belong to any official movement like Vision Forum or IBLP that would explain a lot of her decisions to live this way. 

[SuperNova]

Aaaaaahahahaha! Way to go Shiloh!

Incidentally Abbie, this behavior is called acting out and it's what small children who lack vocabulary and understanding do when they're frustrated. Maybe you should pay attention to your children instead of laughing at them for wanting to climb in your lap. He knows that he's no longer as important to you as the dimpled #twinbies and is hurting. I feel so bad for the littles.

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Are her kids going to be able to make their own choices? They're being indoctrinated in the gospel according to Abbie and Shaun. I think their parents will pressure them to follow in their footsteps; most fundies do that. 

One thing I find puzzling is she doesn't seem to belong to any official movement like Vision Forum or IBLP that would explain a lot of her decisions to live this way. 

Like so many fundies, Abbie has made very different family and life style choices than her parents or Shaun’s parents, so why would she think that she would get to dictate the future family and lifestyle choices of her offspring? Same goes for JB Duggar, Gil Bates, Steve Maxwell etc... You had your chance to make choices. Now sit down, zip your lips, and watch others do the same. You can even pepper it all with joyful Jesus speak.

[Cults-r-us]

22 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

I hang socks on the line in pairs and put them together as I take them off... and I still have ones that are separated and one was in one wash and one in the next!

Unless you have subcontracted literally every part of raising them out, um yeah they do. It is really different even just going out the door with kids in tow than it is with just you and partner - and that doesn't change as they get older from what I can tell, just the stuff does. One of the things I loved about travelling by myself to my friend's wedding was being able to just grab my bag and walk out the door in 5 minutes flat - no checking if I had drink bottles or nappy bag or sports bag or instrument or all the hats. Just one hat, one drink bottle, one bag. Luxury!!

She spends a lot of energy convincing herself that she loves her life. I think she would have been much happier with maybe up to 3 children, and a career in home decorating or furnishing or even setting houses up to photograph for real estate - something where she could get all that creativity out in a productive direction.

Or having 0 kids and never having been introduced to fundamental Christianity.

[SuperNova]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

I feel bad for Abbie because she seems unable to make a clear, rational decision for herself and her family. She hates pregnancy, weight gain, dependent beings, labor, housework, cooking...she abhors it all, as many women do, but the vast majority make better decisions. Abbie just keeps on doing the same things she resents doing and makes everyone around her miserable in the process. I wonder how many of her kids will end up childless? And her mother...I wonder if her chief motivating factors are keeping the kids safe, and the money Abbie gives her?

I don't feel bad for Abbie but I do see your point. Her old blog was just as pointless as her current Instagram but focused on thrifted fashion instead of babies. She doesn't seem to have any developed sense of self beyond what she internalizes as the right way of being. I think it's why the whole god thing works well for her. She has a book that lays out whats acceptable and what isn't with zero introspection needed.

It's weird if you think about it. It's like she has this whole life that she's never really dug into. Everything about her is oddly bland and unoriginal which is probably why she hyper focuses on things of no consequence like dimples or how she doesn't have to wash her hair that often. She seems to get by on just skimming the surface until something pulls her to the next project, be it book, or baby, or vacation. I've never really seen anyone so busy at nothing. Its like she can't be alone with herself.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

Like so many fundies, Abbie has made very different family and life style choices than her parents or Shaun’s parents, so why would she think that she would get to dictate the future family and lifestyle choices of her offspring? Same goes for JB Duggar, Gil Bates, Steve Maxwell etc... You had your chance to make choices. Now sit down, zip your lips, and watch others do the same. You can even pepper it all with joyful Jesus speak.

I agree that they shouldn't be decisions for their children, but for the most part, they are making decisions. Jill Dillard has the come closest to running her own life and even then she started out completely following the path her parents wanted. I don't think fundie parents have the right to decide their kids' lives, but they clearly think so. Generally speaking they've been fairly successful at getting the kids to obey and follow them even into adulthood. 

[Captain Obvious]

On 10/10/2020 at 4:18 PM, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I think she'd have been much happier child-free. Probably even happier single.

All of Braggie's attention is focused on herself and what she wants. It's a whole lot easier to be selfish, self-centered and self absorbed when there is only yourself in your life.

But where would she get the recognition from? Let's face it, her other skills are not that great - not so much to distinguish her from other interior designers or wannabe influencers.

Having the multiple children and the facade of a beautiful designed home allows her to maximise her image as successful and desirable to other Christian mothers, which sounds like not much to aim for but actually makes her a large-ish fish in a biggish pond. 

She may not like the realities of children, and sure as hell makes a big fuss over every single negative thing that happens to her as a result of having children, but she sure loves her props, and would be nothing without them. 

[ophelia]

On 10/9/2020 at 7:06 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

They even have gendered socks! Lol! I often wear my husband’s socks. If I had a mix of girls and boys, I would probably just buy a bunch of white socks everyone wore. 

I don't mind wearing my boyfriends socks and I often mismatch our black sneaker socks and sort them wrong. He isn't that thrilled about it because when his feet are way too big to fit into my socks.

 

I never heard about wine during labor, but I heard about sparkling wine to kickstart labor quite often.

[therulesofjinx]

On 10/11/2020 at 2:47 AM, ophelia said:

I never heard about wine during labor

When my mom went into labor with me back in the 80's, she went to the birth center and was too early to be admitted- they told her to go home, have some wine, and sit in the shower. I was born later that evening. I think from first contraction to my birth she was in labor for less than 12 hours and she has always said it was an "easy" labor and not painful but now I'm wondering exactly how much wine she had...

[SassyPants]

3 hours ago, therulesofjinx said:

When my mom went into labor with me back in the 80's, she went to the birth center and was too early to be admitted- they told her to go home, have some wine, and sit in the shower. I was born later that evening. I think from first contraction to my birth she was in labor for less than 12 hours and she has always said it was an "easy" labor and not painful but now I'm wondering exactly how much wine she had...

Your mom should have written a book! I gave birth in late 80s and early 90s and never heard of this, but I never went into labor on my own either.

[DarlingEve]

The Twinbies are Here a Pregnancy Synopsis is on Abbie’s blog. Long and rambling. Supposedly the “Twinsies” picked the “Twinbies” birthdate. Does everyone else get Twinkie’s EVERY TIME they try to type one of her stupid nicknames?

[Melissa1977]

I have never heard about wine for births! While I suppose a single glass would not be a big deal (some meds are harder, aren't they?), I would be scared about my baby being born drunk! 

My births have been painful. I had one natural and one with epidural, but even the epidural one wasn't lollipops and rainbows. But both were medically perfect, healthy babies and healthy mama, so I can't complain. It's just that I'm imagining my husband and me, opening a champagne bottle in the hospital room and I would love to try that one! (If it was safe, of course).

[danvillebelle]

6 hours ago, DarlingEve said:

Supposedly the “Twinsies” picked the “Twinbies” birthdate.

Of course they did!  

In related news, I have some lovely oceanfront property for sale in Arizona, should anyone be interested.

[therulesofjinx]

15 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Your mom should have written a book!

Haha! I think if she had, it would have been encouraging for some and very misleading for others. She had a super easy pregnancy, labor, and delivery-one or two pushes and I was out. I also weighed 6 pounds even- and I was 3 days past my due date!- so I was pretty tiny. I'd say my mom's pregnancy and labor are not typical. And perhaps the wine helped with whatever pain she did experience- probably not something she should have encouraged for others ?

I just skimmed the...birth story back ground, I guess...that Abbie posted. At the end, she talked about having to flip laundry. She talks about flipping the laundry A LOT. Does she seriously give herself a pat on the back every time she moves wet clothes to the dryer? I do that 3 or 4 times on a Sunday. I don't gloat every time. It's an integral part of doing laundry...

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

9 hours ago, DarlingEve said:

Supposedly the “Twinsies” picked the “Twinbies” birthdate

And I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you. 

If ... and I stress if .... the "twinsies" did, it's because they thought it would be cute and are much too young to understand that their birthdays are forever obliterated.

The birthdays will now just be a mass "celebration" on which their mother lets everyone on the interwebz know that  She. Had. Twins. Twice. On the same day (how conveeeenient).  That she pleaded and prayed and begged God not to give her twins. Pleaded and prayed and begged twice. But he knew better. So she's all good with it now. (Not really.)  And #hardisnotthesameasbad.

I think someone needs to remind Braggie that #hardisnothesameasgood. No one likes a self-appointed martyr Braggie.

And I'm just throwing this out there -- Braggie has to told us numerous times how much she begged and prayed (ranted and raved more like) with God that she wasn't having twins. Did she expect God would somehow make that a single baby she was carrying? One of the twins would.... um.... disappear?

Edited October 13, 2020 by Red Hair, Black Dress

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

And I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you. 

If ... and I stress if .... the "twinsies" did, it's because they thought it would be cute and are much too young to understand that their birthdays are forever obliterated.

The birthdays will now just be a mass "celebration" on which their mother lets everyone on the interwebz know that  She. Had. Twins. Twice. On the same day (how conveeeenient).  That she pleaded and prayed and begged God not to give her twins. Pleaded and prayed and begged twice. But he knew better. So she's all good with it now. (Not really.)  And #hardisnotthesameasbad.

I think someone needs to remind Braggie that #hardisnothesameasgood. No one like a self-appointed martyr Braggie.

And I'm just throwing this out there -- Braggie has to told us  numerous times how much she begged and prayed (ranted and raved more like) with God that she wasn't having twins. Did she expect God would somehow make that a single baby she was carrying? One of the twins would.... um.... disappear?

I do wonder what she would feel if after she begged god not to give her twins and then one of the twins disappeared (miscarriage and reabsorbed early on) would she feel guilty? She thinks god answers so many of her piddly prayers then why not think he answered this one? Why not think she killed it? But no this is Braggie. She would never blame herself for that. 

Edited October 13, 2020 by JermajestyDuggar