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Maxwell 42: The Young and the Vestless


Coconut Flan

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6 hours ago, SassyPants said:

As a glasses wearer I agree with all of this. Also, how come none of my friends (in our 60s) seem to wear glasses? I am both near and far sighted, plus I also have an astigmatism so while I do have bifocal contacts, they just are not acute enough for reading. Earlier on, I did wear contacts in formal situations, but man, I have to see. And, since I wear glasses 99.9% of the time, I don’t feel like I look like myself in photos without my glasses.

Just ducking in here to say that I, too, am farsighted and nearsighted (one in each eye) and have astigmatism! I tried contacts but didn’t find them comfortable. My eye doctor said, “If you, personally, want 2020 vision, just wear glasses.”

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16 hours ago, moreorlessnu said:

The overall look would have been more flattering if Anna had worn her hair as she normally does. She and her MOH (sister?) wore their hair in an up do, I'm assuming, to differentiate themselves (needlessly) from the other members of the wedding party. The up do with straggly piece of hair came off as messy instead of sleek and attractive. A "totally different look" doesn't always come off well on one's wedding day.

Interesting topic. In today's Boston Globe magazine (https://www.bostonglobe.com/2020/09/25/magazine/advice-when-making-fun-public-figures-crosses-line/), there's discussion about making fun of public figures' appearances. For those who cannot access the link:

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I’m not a fan of our current leader, but lately I’ve been really bothered by friends' joking about his size, possible mental health issues and dementia, and physical challenges. I’m all for mocking his choices — the hairstyle, the tan, the shoe lifts — but mocking someone’s physical qualities and mental deterioration troubles me. These jokes disparage all people struggling with similar issues. How can I push back without alienating people I generally agree with?

E.H. / Somerville

Let me — like a good candidate for office — use your question as a jumping-off point to discuss a broader mandate! It’s a good season to review how we talk about public figures, especially politicians.

You’re on the right track with “criticize choices, not attributes.” Another key principle is “punch up, not down” — and while mocking the powerful is by definition “punching up,” you don’t want to cock your arm so far back that you elbow the person behind you in the face, you know? Tortured metaphor though it may be, this is what you’re talking about.

Making fun of other people’s bodies is bad, full stop. Even if the person whose body you are making fun of frequently does the same. It’s a mode of discourse that needs to be shut down, not engaged with.

The same goes for criticizing public figures in racist, sexist, ableist, or classist terms. Not for the sake of the politicians themselves, or for regularly scheduled maintenance of the high road, but because you have friends who belong to those groups. They are listening. It doesn’t matter how aligned you are politically, or that they hate Candidate X or Incumbent Y as passionately as you do. Call that politician “old fart” or “crazy witch” — you’ll be looked at differently.

This is where “it’s OK to criticize choices” doesn’t go far enough — it doesn’t address the language of the criticism, and it doesn’t acknowledge that not all choices get treated the same. The style choices of women and all people of color, including Indigenous people, in this country have been literally policed. There is a difference between criticizing a comb-over and criticizing braids, because historically and in the present, the consequences of wearing comb-overs and wearing braids have been very, very different. And it’s not only about race — I’ve met many people who would nod vigorously along with the last two sentences and then dismissively remark about people who went to state schools or haven’t traveled overseas.

When someone uses such language, it’s not always worth it to engage, but when you can, “It’s not the X that’s the problem — lots of good people (possibly including my friend or me) are X, too,” gets the message across.

Discussing a politician’s physical and mental health, though, is legitimate. Holding political office requires intellectual nimbleness, curiosity, empathy, self-control, and considerable physical and emotional energy. Talking about a politician’s apparent function in those domains is a judgment on job fitness, not on human worth or social acceptability.

 

I think mocking Trump about all of this stuff is different. He's very obviously driven by his insecurities, and the choices he makes as a result are hurting real people in measurable ways. It's not the same as - for example - mocking Anna Maxwell's gummy smile, because Anna's problematic beliefs and behaviors do not appear to arise from her insecurity about her looks. Full disclosure: I've made fun of the trademark gummy Maxwell rictus here and elsewhere. I think it's very funny that Steve Maxwell, who believes that contrasting buttons and women's slacks are incontrovertible proof that he is beset on all sides by feckless boneheads too stupid to care about Where You Will Go When You Die, somehow decided that orthodontia isn't too worldly, but drew the line at gingivectomy. It just seems like if appearance matters to you enough to pay for braces, it probably matters to you enough to correct a gummy smile. 

I hope that the Maxwell orthodontist bought a huge flat screen Beast with the thousands of dollars Steve paid to alter the teeth God designed. 

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7 hours ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

I finally caught up on Maxhell! 


couple things- people are annoyed at the glasses comments likely because they wear glasses. I get that and I wonder why we cannot just respect that?

Joseph Maxwell does not have a mortgage. He has no debt, $200k from his house sale. $200k would be easy for him to save.

And I cannot believe that no one has said the obvious about why The Joes were not there- could Elissa be pregnant again already? That along with GiGi and a cancer patient at home would be enough reason to keep Elissa home and Joseph with her. I cannot think of any other reason Joseph would not have been there for Jesse’s wedding considering how close they have always been.

 

Anything is possible, but didn’t she just give birth in February? With a May wedding, and if she was already far enough along to feel ill, the fetus would have to have been conceived damn near on the delivery table. ?

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15 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Anything is possible, but didn’t she just give birth in February? With a May wedding, and if she was already far enough along to feel ill, the fetus would have to have been conceived damn near on the delivery table. ?

I know, but Joe is Smug Joe. Think of how smug that would make him!

I usual don't engage in pregnancy spec because gross but who knows! Also, since the new baby was so new, Elissa may have wanted to stay home because GLOBAL PANDEMIC and The Joes decided to stay home as a group with NR Anna and GiGi. Chelsey is a good friend of the bride so it would make less sense for her to stay behind than Elissa.

I just don't think Joe and Elissa not being at Jesse's wedding is any sort of controversy, just one of the hard decisions people make during a pandemic when they have elderly, sick and infant relatives.

And honestly? I wouldn't bet against the new house decision and proximity to church. People do stuff like that all the time. They wanted a bigger house, maybe one with room for a real schoolroom and a decent sized home office, what they like and could afford with cash was in Olathe closer to their church, so they moved.

I pointed out years ago that Joe was distancing himself from the family business for his own business' sake. I just don't think there is any there here other than people just growing up.

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New post from NR Anna. They are absolutely socially isolating. And Abigail has made freezer meals. NR Anna seems like a really deeply good person, hateful beliefs aside. 

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1 hour ago, fundiewatch said:

New post from NR Anna. They are absolutely socially isolating. And Abigail has made freezer meals. NR Anna seems like a really deeply good person, hateful beliefs aside. 

If Anna had not been born into a fundie family, I could easily see her as someone I would enjoy spending time with. 

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On 9/26/2020 at 6:15 PM, Maggie Mae said:

It's just my personal preference - obviously if she needs them and can't wear contacts or doesn't want to, she shouldn't, it's her eyes - but I hate that she wore glasses. Combined with her hair, it gives ME the impression that she just woke up, tossed on a dress, and threw the glasses on to cover up the lack of make-up.

My glasses are a medical device. I don't like contacts, and I don't like seeing the world as a hazy blur because other people don't like that I choose to use a medical device.  Anyone who doesn't like me wearing my glasses (or, in my possible future, using a wheelchair, brace, walker, whatever) can go take several seats.

tl, dr: Good for her for rocking her glasses, you shallow ableist shrew.

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7 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

If smug joe, or any of the maxwells, decided to send their kids out for school do you think Steve would survive that heart attack? 

Any Maxwell trying to homeschool would likely be doing a BIG disservice to a child. Maybe this is why none of Steve’s daughters, as in their world educating falls to the women, are married? Maybe Steve actually realizes that fact?

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16 hours ago, fundiefan said:

There is enough to pick apart with these people and their beliefs, I think it's petty to go for the glasses that she wears in order to see and were chosen most likely because she likes how they look. 

People who wear glasses wear them for a reason, I think it's... I can't think of the right word here. Petty is good, but also maybe mean, or ignorant? Anyway it's not cool to be all like "oh she should have taken off her glasses for her wedding". Even for the photos. I would rather see a happy bride with glasses on than one squinting and unable to see properly. (And at least she has glasses! One of the Rod kids looks like she desperately needs an eye exam, but nope.)

For the record, I hate wearing glasses. My vision is 100% terrible and I wear contacts practically all the time. My face feels oily and nasty when I wear my glasses, for some reason. If I was wearing glasses for some reason and someone wanted a photo I would 100% take off those glasses, because that's how I really look most of the time. I am, however, at the point where I keep cheap readers in my desk drawer to wear over my contacts for some things. I'll eventually have to get specialized contacts I guess, but not yet. 

7 hours ago, Joe Pukepail said:

I think mocking Trump about all of this stuff is different. He's very obviously driven by his insecurities, and the choices he makes as a result are hurting real people in measurable ways.

I think mocking Trump for things he's mocked others for is fine. He invites it.

And anyone who paid NO taxes for years partially by claiming deductions on $70,000 for "hairstyling services" who looks like that? Asking for it.

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I've tried contacts.  I don't like them.  I wear glasses.  If I were to ever marry - I would wear glasses. 

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Every time Anna posts on the blog I think "she is a much better writer than Sarah". Reading a Sarah post after reading an Anna post is jarring. It is too bad Sarah can't take classes or join a writer's group because I think that the reading and feedback would improve her writing 100%. 

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14 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

I don't think they were. Less sheltered, yes. Participating in 4H and other activities with people unrelated to her family does not make her less fundie, just more aware of life outside the fathership.

The Maxwells do that and always have. They just don't broadcast it.

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This made me hurt and want to scream: "And I’m blessed by Christopher and the children’s willingness to help out and enable me to get more rest these days."

Why is a MAN always congratulated on doing what a Mom does? It isn't just the Maxwell's! The whole "Daddy is babysitting" thing makes me as nuts as "we are pregnant".

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I wish I could stop myself from reading the titus2 blog. Anna Marie is the best of them, but gosh I need to stop caring about these white christian assholes who have never and will never address much of value. It's like they aren't apart of the same world the rest of us live in. It's all just picnics, board books, blessings, hearts being knit, operation shoe box of clearance candy and lawn care. I sometimes wish I could feel such blissful ignorance, but sadly dear reader, I was raised by democrats, went to liberal college, have read books, and my internet isn't monitored by my parents. 

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On 9/27/2020 at 11:57 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I want to say first and foremost, I hate hand slappy behavior because we are all adults here. I try extremely hard to never come off hand slappy or self righteous to others on FJ. I do fail at times. What I do love is respectful disagreement. It’s the debate club drop out in me. When my feelings start to get a 

I totally agree with everything you said, but, I'm overweight like David. Not as much as him, but I didn't get this way by eating regular portions of healthy food. I think what people have a problem with, like I do, is that he looks grossly overweight while most of his kids look like they will blow away in a good wind. Maybe their metabolisms are just very good and they are fed enough but I don't think so. 

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1 hour ago, Eternalbluepearl said:

I wish I could stop myself from reading the titus2 blog. Anna Marie is the best of them, but gosh I need to stop caring about these white christian assholes who have never and will never address much of value. It's like they aren't apart of the same world the rest of us live in. It's all just picnics, board books, blessings, hearts being knit, operation shoe box of clearance candy and lawn care. I sometimes wish I could feel such blissful ignorance, but sadly dear reader, I was raised by democrats, went to liberal college, have read books, and my internet isn't monitored by my parents. 

There are sooooo many Christians who are the same way.  As they have their family and they're happy, who cares about anyone else? I've known so many of these people.

As for Anna Marie, she seems like she would be just as judgmental and mean to people who didn't share their beliefs. I hope her treatments go well and she lives a long life, but I don't get the sense she's the best of them. 

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2 hours ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

This made me hurt and want to scream: "And I’m blessed by Christopher and the children’s willingness to help out and enable me to get more rest these days."

Why is a MAN always congratulated on doing what a Mom does? It isn't just the Maxwell's! The whole "Daddy is babysitting" thing makes me as nuts as "we are pregnant".

These people have been raised with the belief that within an hour or so of delivery she should be up and dressed for photos and moving on with life. Her belief is that it is HER job to care for the home and the children.  Her husband has been raised that he works to pay bills and he does chores out of the home.  I definitely don't agree with it but it works for them.. and the fact that he is not being a bull and expecting her to sit for hours with iv infusions flowing into her and rushing home to fold laundry and bake is actually refreshing.  

I am happy to see that he SEES the importance of his wife and he is rallying the kids together to take care of things and mom.  If for NO other reason then THIS is the education they need.. mom is not your maid.. mom may enjoy this role but she needs to rest and heal and we need to help her along! 

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28 minutes ago, NoseyNellie said:

These people have been raised with the belief that within an hour or so of delivery she should be up and dressed for photos and moving on with life. Her belief is that it is HER job to care for the home and the children.  Her husband has been raised that he works to pay bills and he does chores out of the home.  I definitely don't agree with it but it works for them.. and the fact that he is not being a bull and expecting her to sit for hours with iv infusions flowing into her and rushing home to fold laundry and bake is actually refreshing.  

I am happy to see that he SEES the importance of his wife and he is rallying the kids together to take care of things and mom.  If for NO other reason then THIS is the education they need.. mom is not your maid.. mom may enjoy this role but she needs to rest and heal and we need to help her along! 

I agree, although her oldest child is 8 years. I guess it can't be helped since their mother is sick, but these kids are so young to be taking on a lot. I hope the boys are doing stuff along with the girls. 

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18 hours ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

Elissa’s family was totally into Steve and Teri’s philosophy back when she was growing up. She was homeschooled via MOTH. Her parents met the Maxwells at conferences and became friends. That is how Joe met Elissa,

Where are people getting that was Elissa was brought up less fundie than Joseph? They were brought up the same way.

Before Elissa married Joseph there were some photos of her wearing pants and enjoying activities like sports and movies on Facebook and other social media platforms. So, some people, like myself, believes that she misses some of the freedoms, so to say, she had before marrying into the Maxwell family. Yes, Elissa was raised fundie, but she wasn't raised Maxwell fundie.

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23 hours ago, Katzchen24 said:
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ja-wedding-154.thumb.jpg.e611693defc6c964282150d392f9e8ab.jpg

I must admit, I just thought BOY BAND.

It would have to be a boy band from the '50's-early 60's, though, when male musicians always wore suits. Or have we come full circle on that? I don't pay much attention to how boy bands dress.

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Maybe Anna Marie praises Christopher for 'helping' so much to boost his confidence because in reality they may be struggling with income that as a godly man he has to provode?

She is thankful for 'flexibility' in work, but does he have enough work anyway? He doesn't seem to be as big in Magento certification as the other brothers. The photography is a small side hustle. And he does lawn care on weekends too? 

"Christopher ... and Joshua have done fall lawn rejuvenation for a few years now, and just spent a couple Saturdays doing that. Folks enjoy having this great father/son team work in their yard, and I love how Christopher includes Joshua in their little business!"

The homeschooling seems to have served the others much better because they have taken well to IT/building up their own businesses. Christopher looks to be a bit out on a limb.

4 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

It would have to be a boy band from the '50's-early 60's, though, when male musicians always wore suits. Or have we come full circle on that? I don't pay much attention to how boy bands dress.

I get a real 50s vibe from Jesse's slicked back hair, Anna's dress and glasses. I thought they looked really good together in an old time sort of way.

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My daughter has worn glasses since she was five, and has always considered them a fashion statement.   For her wedding, she found a vintage 1950's tea length wedding dress.  She wore her favorite pale pink cat's eye glasses with it, and looked adorable.  

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31 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

It would have to be a boy band from the '50's-early 60's, though, when male musicians always wore suits. Or have we come full circle on that? I don't pay much attention to how boy bands dress.

It could be retro? I don't know, it was just my gut reaction to the photo. I think it was more in the wide wide wide stances, the lead vocalist in the front, and the angle of the shot than in the suits.

I bet they'd sing rubbish songs if they really were a boy band! 

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4 hours ago, browngrl said:

Every time Anna posts on the blog I think "she is a much better writer than Sarah". Reading a Sarah post after reading an Anna post is jarring. It is too bad Sarah can't take classes or join a writer's group because I think that the reading and feedback would improve her writing 100%. 

She is light years in education away from being an actual writer. If how she writes on the blog is a true indication of her writing skills, I’d say she writes at a 4th grade level. Her writing generally displays awkward structure, poor syntax, subject /verb disagreement and a plethora of punctuation errors. IMO, writing is not one of her strengths. AnnaMarie’s writing shows none of those errors. AnnaMarie’s writing is far more complex and does not leave a reader trying to decipher what she has written or what she was trying to convey. Another Teri&Steve education failure.

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