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Maxwell 42: The Young and the Vestless


Coconut Flan

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I want to say first and foremost, I hate hand slappy behavior because we are all adults here. I try extremely hard to never come off hand slappy or self righteous to others on FJ. I do fail at times. What I do love is respectful disagreement. It’s the debate club drop out in me. When my feelings start to get a little too strong disagreeing with someone on FJ, I have to walk away. I don’t want my emotions to cloud any sort of rational judgment. An example would be fat shaming. I have too much trauma surrounding it to really disagree with someone without my strong emotions creeping in. I don’t much care for David or Josh being fat shamed. Because they have about 1,000 other things to snark on that are way more harmful than some extra pounds. 

I think it’s awesome when people disagree with one another on FJ without being nasty or hand slappy. I firmly believe that others will listen better if you aren’t a jerk about it. I feel like this with fundies too. I don’t engage with fundies because I don’t care to waste my breath. But if I was in a situation where I came in contact with a fundie, I would disagree with them in the most respectful way I could muster because I know 100% they won’t listen to a snarky patronizing lecture from me. 

Basically this long winded response is that people will snark on fundies on Fj. That’s what we are here for! But when we disagree with other FJ members about said snarking, I think it’s cool when we can just hash it out respectfully and hear each other out. We don’t have to agree and sing kumbaya. But it’s good to listen to each other and try to understand each other’s sides because that’s what so many fundies seem to lack! So I like it when that happens on FJ.

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2 hours ago, Howl said:

I just started adding milk (low fat) and (coconut) sugar to my tea.  So good.  The coconut sugar is very lo-cal.  I tried Xylitol + monkfruit sweetener, but it just doesn't do the job. 

Hey, so I'm not trying to cut out sugar altogether (that would be impractical for me), but just trying to find a way of extending my fast from night-time.  I did some reading and apparently stevia is the only sweetener that absolutely doesn't affect a fast? The other ones may or may not affect the fast in different ways (metabolical, calorie-wise, etc.)

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On 9/25/2020 at 5:09 PM, Giraffe said:

Imo that’s quite a petty thing to say. I’ve worn glasses for most of my life and can’t see much without them. If someone told me to take my glasses off for a photo* I would roll my eyes and say no. 
 

* dmv, medical, etc notwithstanding 

My in-laws did outdoor family pics a few years ago and when they figured out I have tinting lenses they tried to make me take my glasses off.  I said no, I need to be able to see.  So they offered to TAKE THE LENSES OUT.  Add that asinine request to me recovering from a migraine, them changing what colors we were supposed to wear the day before the session, and them being upset because we didn't bend to my mother-in-law's whims.  Ugh.  

Anyway, if they're comfortable in their glasses, let them wear them!  Its about being you, not being someone that someone else wants you to be.

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I can't imagine a fundie snarking on someone's nose. Certainly not a Maxwell. Snarking on their physical appearance imo, says nothing about their beliefs and makes us look like petty, pathetic people with nothing better to do rather the courageous people who take a bold stance against religious extremism that make Free Jinger what it is. ?

The dress looks a little hot to me. I do hope she had a say in picking the dress and chose one with long sleeves, as opposed to being told she needed long sleeves for modesty. 

@JanasTattooParlor You'll look like a bride, because you're the bride. You could wear yoga pants, an old t-shirt and sweatbands, you'd look like a bride, because you are the bride.  I'm sure you'll look cute with your glasses. I wish you and Mr. TattooParlor a long and happy life together. 

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My husband wears contacts every day because he says they work better for his computer screen (which he stares at for 9 hours straight each day). But at night, he takes out his contacts and puts on his glasses. The frames are fairly similar to Jesse’s. I think he looks good in glasses and I’m always like, “who is this hot man in my house?” Because he does look different ;) 

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https://blog.titus2.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/ja-wedding-029.jpg

Nothing against loose fitting clothes, I enjoy those as well! But this wedding dress is just ill-fitting. The curve for the bust in the dress is at the height of her armpit but it does not get filled by her boobs, creating weird balloons over her bust. making the dress tighter would not change that, you would have to alter the cut of the bodice (i.e. redesign the princess seam to lower the bust point) to make it fit properly.

I think it  might be hard to find a wedding dress that actually is loose fitting, usually they are all about showing off your figure.

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27 minutes ago, hollyandivy said:

https://blog.titus2.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/ja-wedding-029.jpg

Nothing against loose fitting clothes, I enjoy those as well! But this wedding dress is just ill-fitting. The curve for the bust in the dress is at the height of her armpit but it does not get filled by her boobs, creating weird balloons over her bust. making the dress tighter would not change that, you would have to alter the cut of the bodice (i.e. redesign the princess seam to lower the bust point) to make it fit properly.

I think it  might be hard to find a wedding dress that actually is loose fitting, usually they are all about showing off your figure.

This is exactly what’s wrong with the fit. That curved seam into her sleeve hole needs to be about 2 to 3 inches lower, so that the curve serves as a dart substitute to shape the garment over the breast. 

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1 hour ago, hollyandivy said:

https://blog.titus2.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/ja-wedding-029.jpg

Nothing against loose fitting clothes, I enjoy those as well! But this wedding dress is just ill-fitting. The curve for the bust in the dress is at the height of her armpit but it does not get filled by her boobs, creating weird balloons over her bust. making the dress tighter would not change that, you would have to alter the cut of the bodice (i.e. redesign the princess seam to lower the bust point) to make it fit properly.

I think it  might be hard to find a wedding dress that actually is loose fitting, usually they are all about showing off your figure.

I know the cut and fit of fundie wedding dresses is usually subject to snark, but I'm prepared to give 3nna a free pass on this. IDK about the specific guidelines in Ohio but in a lot of places, dress shops and seamstresses were on ice due to the shutdown. Altering a formal gown - especially one with multiple layers - takes a specific skill set that many people don't have (hence why bridal shops and seamstresses do a lot of business in alterations.) She's the first from her family to marry, so we don't know whether they espouse frumpiness as some sort of spiritual goal, so it really could just be that they didn't have a way to get it properly altered in the time frame they had.

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3 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

I can't imagine a fundie snarking on someone's nose.

Nah, they'll just tell you you're going to burn in everlasting torment screaming in agony forever because of your hair color, or because you like to wear pants, or because you drink alcohol occasionally, or because you swear, or because you once voiced an opinion that was different from a man's.

But at least they won't make fun of your nose.

Are you for real? 

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I’ll admit to cringing at the pictures of the bride and groom’s glasses. But after reading some of your comments, I can understand why someone would wear their glasses during their wedding. I wear glasses, but mostly for distance and my vision isn’t very bad, so I didn’t wear them at my wedding.

I was very, very lucky that my wedding dress fit without needing alterations, as I couldn’t have afforded to pay for any. Could it be the case for these folks that finding a wedding gown seamstress during the COVID outbreak might have been difficult? Even if shops weren’t forcibly shut down, they might have closed due to parents suddenly needing to homeschool their children or out of fear of contracting the virus by working in such close proximity to customers.

I can respect the choice of the women In the wedding party not to wear makeup, but have they ever heard of blotting papers? That harsh bright lighting and presumably warm weather made their faces shine like they rubbed them with baby oil before the ceremony.

Also, I hate the colors of the sashes on the bridesmaids dresses. The color looks harsh and out of place against the green.

That is all. 

 

 

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20 minutes ago, crunchycarrots said:

Could it be the case for these folks that finding a wedding gown seamstress during the COVID outbreak might have been difficult? Even if shops weren’t forcibly shut down, they might have closed due to parents suddenly needing to homeschool their children or out of fear of contracting the virus by working in such close proximity to customers.

I know for me this summer several were open but they all had very long wait times. I had my first dress appointment in June, then didn’t get to see the dress again until August, then finally got to pick it up yesterday. For me, that was fine because I had plenty of time, but fundies get married so quick after engagement that even if they did have the money for the alterations, which can get pricey, they probably don’t have the time for proper alterations which leads to ill-fitting dresses that are either never altered or altered by someone who isn’t as experienced as someone should be to alter a wedding dress. I know they got married early-ish in the COVID shutdown though so many places were probably closed at the time. By the time I started looking, things in my state were starting to reopen. 

Edited by JanasTattooParlor
More thoughts about COVID.
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I kind of hate myself for this; but as someone who wears glasses full time, some of the comments have made me rethink some things.  Like, just how bad have I looked at formal occasions in my carefully chosen dress, jewelry and...glasses?  Has anybody ever looked at our family photos and asked why I didn’t remove my glasses? Did I ruin my daughter’s wedding photos because I wore glasses with my sparkly dress? 
 

I mean, would we be shocked if someone refused to remove their hearing aid before posing for a photo? 
 

 

Edited by usmcmom
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Spoiler

ja-wedding-154.thumb.jpg.e611693defc6c964282150d392f9e8ab.jpg

I must admit, I just thought BOY BAND.

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22 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

I kind of hate myself for this; but as someone who wears glasses full time, some of the comments have made me rethink some things.  Like, just how bad have I looked at formal occasions in my carefully chosen dress, jewelry and...glasses?  Has anybody ever looked at our family photos and asked why I didn’t remove my glasses? Did I ruin my daughter’s wedding photos because I wore glasses with my sparkly dress? 
 

I mean, would we be shocked if someone refused to remove their hearing aid before posing for a photo? 
 

 

As a glasses wearer I agree with all of this. Also, how come none of my friends (in our 60s) seem to wear glasses? I am both near and far sighted, plus I also have an astigmatism so while I do have bifocal contacts, they just are not acute enough for reading. Earlier on, I did wear contacts in formal situations, but man, I have to see. And, since I wear glasses 99.9% of the time, I don’t feel like I look like myself in photos without my glasses.

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20 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

Whoever it was upthread that suggested Jesse and Anna ofJesse would be a nerd couple in the real world, I totally agree. I can easily see them attending a Star Trek convention in full costume.

We can’t know that they aren’t! What a delicious thought. 

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1 hour ago, Katzchen24 said:
  Reveal hidden contents

ja-wedding-154.thumb.jpg.e611693defc6c964282150d392f9e8ab.jpg

I must admit, I just thought BOY BAND.

At least we haven't seen Christopher's trademark "jumping in the air" shot!

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5 hours ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

Hey, so I'm not trying to cut out sugar altogether (that would be impractical for me), but just trying to find a way of extending my fast from night-time.  I did some reading and apparently stevia is the only sweetener that absolutely doesn't affect a fast? The other ones may or may not affect the fast in different ways (metabolical, calorie-wise, etc.)

Ah, interesting.  I used to take my tea black with no additives, except on Saturday or Sunday mornings when we'd meet friends for breakfast and the place we'd go has those little things of Half and Half and this amazing tan sugar +  great Earl Gray.  Maybe I should go back to the plain approach.  The sugar and milk taste great and seem to satisfy something primal,  but aren't really helping anything. 

1 hour ago, JanasTattooParlor said:

I had my first dress appointment in June, then didn’t get to see the dress again until August, then finally got to pick it up yesterday. For me, that was fine because I had plenty of time,

I'm not known for planning ahead. I married late in life and went dress shopping not long before the wedding.  In response to hearing the wedding date, the stunned sales ladies asked, "May? THIS YEAR?"

I finally ended up going to a ladies dress shop frequented by the mother of one of my friends and found just the right dress, with no alterations needed.  

Edited by Howl
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58 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

As a glasses wearer I agree with all of this. Also, how come none of my friends (in our 60s) seem to wear glasses? I am both near and far sighted, plus I also have an astigmatism so while I do have bifocal contacts, they just are not acute enough for reading. Earlier on, I did wear contacts in formal situations, but man, I have to see. And, since I wear glasses 99.9% of the time, I don’t feel like I look like myself in photos without my glasses.

I even went so far as to buy NEW glasses for my daughter’s wedding - something that looked a little “dressier”, more subtle...I don’t know what I was thinking. But, I could not get used to them and I realized I just wanted to be comfortable that day and enjoy myself. So I wore my old ones. It was not a huge waste because I do like to have a spare pair in case I break mine. 
 

I once had an acquaintance tell me about taking her child to the optometrist.  The child seemed to be wanting glasses. This woman looked at me (my glasses wearing face) and said “I just told her that glasses are not cool and she should not wish for them.”  I was just thinking “What a bitch!” 

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@usmcmom,  one of my granddaughters is legally blind and her little sister is profoundly deaf but has cochlear implants.  Their weddings are years away,  but they’ll both be wearing their glasses and the deaf granddaughter will be wearing her processors.   I hope i’m there to see it.

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31 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

I even went so far as to buy NEW glasses for my daughter’s wedding - something that looked a little “dressier”, more subtle...I don’t know what I was thinking. But, I could not get used to them and I realized I just wanted to be comfortable that day and enjoy myself. So I wore my old ones. It was not a huge waste because I do like to have a spare pair in case I break mine. 

I splurged for fancy frames for the kids' weddings.  One pair for a small fortune, but they do look good in the wedding photos and I could wear them for all the kids' weddings and now I wear them for some holidays and funerals.  

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I wear glasses and to be honest, I hate it when people say "take them off, you look better without them" or whatever. My mom's husband just did it yesterday when he was taking of picture of my and my niece. 

Um, nope. I wear glasses so I can see. I don't wear them for anyone else's benefit (except the people I don't want to kill if I were to drive without them). How they look to you has nothing to do with them being worn by me. I hate when people say Anna should have taken hers off or chosen different frames or whatever. 

There is enough to pick apart with these people and their beliefs, I think it's petty to go for the glasses that she wears in order to see and were chosen most likely because she likes how they look. 

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21 hours ago, nausicaa said:

Yes. Very strong "weekly Euro board game night meet up" vibes from those two.

But not Magic, The Gathering. I have no hope whatsoever of that.

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On 9/26/2020 at 1:23 PM, NancyDrewFan1989 said:

Very insightful. However, Jesse and Joseph do work together. They maybe trying to forge their own path away from the family compound. I have had a feeling the past couple years that Elissa is not happy living near the family and under their restrictions as her family wasn't. Plus they did just leave the compound, so I am assuming that while they will remain in touch with them, they will be doing things there way. After all, the family leaves out photos of her and Chelsy when they wear shirts that show their shoulders and pants. Who knows, maybe they plan on sending their kids to school rather than homeschool. Either way, I hope they do what is best for them rather than what Steve and Teri want. 

Elissa’s family was totally into Steve and Teri’s philosophy back when she was growing up. She was homeschooled via MOTH. Her parents met the Maxwells at conferences and became friends. That is how Joe met Elissa,

Where are people getting that was Elissa was brought up less fundie than Joseph? They were brought up the same way.

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I finally caught up on Maxhell! 


couple things- people are annoyed at the glasses comments likely because they wear glasses. I get that and I wonder why we cannot just respect that?

Joseph Maxwell does not have a mortgage. He has no debt, $200k from his house sale. $200k would be easy for him to save.

And I cannot believe that no one has said the obvious about why The Joes were not there- could Elissa be pregnant again already? That along with GiGi and a cancer patient at home would be enough reason to keep Elissa home and Joseph with her. I cannot think of any other reason Joseph would not have been there for Jesse’s wedding considering how close they have always been.

 

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52 minutes ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

Where are people getting that was Elissa was brought up less fundie than Joseph? They were brought up the same way.

I don't think they were. Less sheltered, yes. Participating in 4H and other activities with people unrelated to her family does not make her less fundie, just more aware of life outside the fathership.

Edited by Black Aliss
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