Joy & Austin 31: Adding Evelyn Mae

[medimus]

In  my head Evelyn is a boys name (or really a man's name, because I can't really picture a child with it) which I know is silly because it hasn't been majority male for ages. I think it's because the only Evelyn I have hear of is Evelyn Waugh. Which is pronounced Eve (first woman) - Lin. Maybe with a very slight uh sound in the middle. I quite like it. 

I think it's one of the names that slowly became female in the early 20th century, like Shirley, Ashley, Hilary (now I see them they all have endings with a y). It's interesting.

I quite like Mae on it's own. but I much prefer Evelyn to Evy-Mae, which seems to be in gist of all the cutsie double barelled baby girls names in the UK like this: https://www.bounty.com/pregnancy-and-birth/baby-names/girls-baby-names/double-barrelled-girls-names oh and in this article: https://namerology.com/2020/08/28/the-hottest-baby-names-in-england-featuring-nellie-mae-and-reggie-jay/

My great grandmother had a similar name to Mae, but one I've not heard of in an American context actually (off to google the baby name stats for it!). Oh it looks like it arrived in the baby name stats in 2014 and is rising there, interesting. I would consider using that.

[AmericanRose]

My middle name has been mentioned a filler... and it's kind of amusing because it's the name I go by.

[lilith]

My younger daughters middle name (Kate) could be dismissed both as a filler name and as an abbreviation, but it’s actually one of the more meaningful of my kids middle names in an extremely obscure way. If she was a boy she was going to be named Robert after my husband’s father - she is and always will be his only child - so her middle name is Kate, short for Bob, a joke only Blackadder fans will ever understand. So I guess it counts as pretentious too, but it makes us smile and thrilled her grandfather. My other kids all have more traditional family names as middle names, and my FJ handle is my middle name.

[WarriorJane]

4 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

No, clearly I don't. It seems extremely arbitrary which names we are allowed to slag, it was a-okay when everyone did it to Spurgeon, but heaven forbid anyone says anything bad about golden favourite Mae. Gasp! 

I prefer Spurgeon to Mae. 

It's perfectly fine to say you don't like a name, but you went on and on about how they didn't put any thought into it and chose a "filler" name just for the sake of choosing one.  You have no idea what went into their choice or how meaningful the name is for them.  How arrogant to make assumptions like that.   My daughter's middle name is Grace and it is very very meaningful to us.  Thankfully I don't have to explain the reason behind it to assholes on the internet.

Yes there was a lot of talk about Spurgeon but that is because it is quite unusual,  has a religious connection, etc., just like Wilberforce.  But we know why they chose those names.  We don't know why Joy chose Mae, which is perfectly lovely.   

[KSmom]

My first name means, from  ____________(a specific country), which is where my parents met. My middle name is the state bird from where I was born. A couple years ago I asked my Dad if they had a geography theme going with my name. He laughed and said, no, they just liked the middle name. My first name was definitely chosen because of the meaning. If I had been a boy my name would have been the male form of my name.

[Glasgowghirl]

People were shocked that Jessa and Ben went with Spurgeon Elliott over Elliott Spurgeon because the name was so out there. I still don't like his name but I am used to it and think he suits it now. Heistheway is a million times worse than Spurgeon and you can't even choose a nickname from that. Spurgeon gets called Spurgie and has the choice of Elliott to use when he is older, poor Heistheway didn't get a middle name though no middle name was ever going to go with it either. 

I don't even have a middle name and my first name is a shortened version of a name, I don't particularly like my name but hate the longer version of my name and my parent's did too, Dad picked my name because he liked an 80s singer with that name, given the names of some of the acts then it could have been so much worse. 

[VineHeart137]

5 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

No, clearly I don't. It seems extremely arbitrary which names we are allowed to slag, it was a-okay when everyone did it to Spurgeon, but heaven forbid anyone says anything bad about golden favourite Mae. Gasp! 

I prefer Spurgeon to Mae. 

I think you can understand that there is a difference between saying you simply don't like a name, and accusing parents of not putting any thought into their child's name simply because the name doesn't follow some arbitrary name rules you made up in your head.

7 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

Okay, I get it. Using a "filler" middle name is used as a safe choice, because they go with virtually anything, like items in a capsule wardrobe.

Except that multiple people have pointed out that they gave their kids those types of middle names because it had some kind of meaning or sentiment for them. Not all "filler" names are used because they're "safe".

[SorenaJ]

22 minutes ago, Glasgowghirl said:

Heistheway is a million times worse than Spurgeon and you can't even choose a nickname from that. 

Hezza?

Edited August 29, 2020 by SorenaJ

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

40 minutes ago, VineHeart137 said:

I think you can understand that there is a difference between saying you simply don't like a name, and accusing parents of not putting any thought into their child's name simply because the name doesn't follow some arbitrary name rules you made up in your head.

Except that multiple people have pointed out that they gave their kids those types of middle names because it had some kind of meaning or sentiment for them. Not all "filler" names are used because they're "safe".

My daughters 1st name is 3 syllables our last name is 4 syllables so we purposely chose Kate, a short monosyllabic name, it wasn't filler, it flows beautifully with her name, Tabatha Kate O’Callaghan (the only real name is the Kate, but the number of letters and syllables are the same in the 1st & last names. She needed a simple middle to balance out the big bookends that are her 1st & last name. 

[OyToTheVey]

I have a patronym that I never use. Most people born in the Eastern Block have one. We don't do middle names or filler names. Only kids in my family that have middle names are the ones born here in the States. Back in Russia, it's quite common to be called by both first name and patronym. Like an older person would be Alexandra Alexandrovna(dad is Alexander in this case). Just as a sign of respect. 

[SassyPants]

In my family, middle names (and sometimes first names too) are strictly family names. That is just our tradition and we feel it’s a very important link to the past. My middle name is my maternal GM’s, long passed, name. My daughter and her daughter’s middle name is my mom’s formal first name. My son’s middle name is my husband’s first name. I have a nephew who is a jr, and another nephew whose first name is one GP’s name and his middle name is the other GP’s name. Just picking 2 names you like is just foreign to me.
Another thing that is odd to me is giving a child a first and middle names, and then calling either a third name (Paines and Smiths) or using the middle name as the primary name. Why wouldn’t you just flip the names? 
But C’est la vie-

[Daisy0322]

I was under a lot of family pressure to pick a meaningful middle name for our kids. We ended up just making a list of names we liked and trying to connect them to something ? it ended up working one happened to be my great grandmas maiden name and another ended up being the name of the town my husband grew up. 

[just_ordinary]

1 hour ago, Daisy0322 said:

I was under a lot of family pressure to pick a meaningful middle name for our kids. We ended up just making a list of names we liked and trying to connect them to something ? it ended up working one happened to be my great grandmas maiden name and another ended up being the name of the town my husband grew up. 

I am glad it worked out. But I wish you wouldn’t have been pressured. People are way too much invested in things that aren’t their business. Your child - your choice. Some people really need to learn boundaries. Hopefully, if you ever have another child you can freely make a choice.

[viii]

13 hours ago, SorenaJ said:

Okay, I get it. Using a "filler" middle name is used as a safe choice, because they go with virtually anything, like items in a capsule wardrobe. A capsule middle name, if you will. It's basically like wearing a black t-shirt or a black dress. Goes with anything. Boring on it's own, but can be accessorised up or down to make it look stunning, which is what the first name and last name are for. A capsule middle name is the practical choice, and Joy strikes me as a very practical person, and something she would do. 

I don’t get you. At first I thought it was maybe just ignorance and with the overwhelming amount of replies you received, I thought you’d back down. But no, you doubled down on your bullshit and really just seem like an overall dick.   

People should stop arguing with the troll at this point. 

[JDuggs]

24 minutes ago, viii said:

I don’t get you. At first I thought it was maybe just ignorance and with the overwhelming amount of replies you received, I thought you’d back down. But no, you doubled down on your bullshit and really just seem like an overall dick.   

People should stop arguing with the troll at this point. 

In the comment you replied to, Sorenaj said the name Mae was “safe” and “practical” and thinks the choice suits Joy’s personality, not really the most dickish opinion I’ve seen here. Sorenaj does seem to be softening her opinion as I read it.

[Duggadict]

One of my daughters middle name is Marie but is not a filler name. We liked it and actually we were going to reuse it for the second one but then we gave her a long peculiar and literature based name so we figured to change her middle name to something she could use in case she hated her first ? 

[JDuggs]

I think all Joy has shared so far regarding Evelyn Mae’s name is that she wanted it to be perfect and elegant and she thinks she nailed it. Good for her! She hasn’t gone into the meaning behind her choice and it could just be that she like how it sounds and looks. The FJ commenter who speculated that Mae represents Mary Annabel Elise is a genius. Joy should get behind that meaning although I doubt it was her intent.

And now we all share our opinions, some like it, some don’t. It doesn’t really matter what internet strangers think. Ben thought he nailed it with Spurgeon Elliot and 99% of us disagreed in a big way. But Ben probably still thinks it’s awesome and everyone else has learned to deal with it.

[wendy-sparkles]

I love Evelyn pronounced like Evelyn Waugh and I wish that version would make a comeback. Even though I prefer Mary to Mae (two names for the price of one!) all of this arguing is just about ...taste, a competition in which our own is always going to come in on top. You can just say something isn't your taste without trashing people who like it! I really loved the above observation that Mae was the initials of Mary and Annabel Elise, which, even if they didn't pick it with that in mind, is so sweet and lovely I hope someone points it out to them.

 My own middle name is Anne, which I had no idea was considered filler (it's a saint AND a Queen AND multiple people I'm related to AND girl who lives on Prince Edward Island) so ?‍♀️. My only complaint is my brother got a much cooler family middle name. Sometimes I go by Annie or Anne when I don't want to use/explain/spell my fairly unique first name, which I do think is an important fallback for the more unusually named among us, although I guess I could just invent a name for those purposes.

Also I kind of love Spurgeon, and I hope if/when Jessa and Ben have any future children they name them in that vein.

[princessmahina]

37 minutes ago, wendy-sparkles said:

I love Evelyn pronounced like Evelyn Waugh and I wish that version would make a comeback. Even though I prefer Mary to Mae (two names for the price of one!) all of this arguing is just about ...taste, a competition in which our own is always going to come in on top. You can just say something isn't your taste without trashing people who like it! I really loved the above observation that Mae was the initials of Mary and Annabel Elise, which, even if they didn't pick it with that in mind, is so sweet and lovely I hope someone points it out to them.

 My own middle name is Anne, which I had no idea was considered filler (it's a saint AND a Queen AND multiple people I'm related to AND girl who lives on Prince Edward Island) so ?‍♀️. My only complaint is my brother got a much cooler family middle name. Sometimes I go by Annie or Anne when I don't want to use/explain/spell my fairly unique first name, which I do think is an important fallback for the more unusually named among us, although I guess I could just invent a name for those purposes.

Also I kind of love Spurgeon, and I hope if/when Jessa and Ben have any future children they name them in that vein.

The thing with over the top names as a first is that there’s a very strong potential for bullying or, later on down the road, judgment in job applications. I don’t necessarily agree that it’s right to judge people’s names because we don’t really have a choice in that. I think they nailed it with Henry by putting the big, unusual name in the middle and giving a more common name for a first that doesn’t attract stares, snickers, or outright judgment. 

[libgirl2]

46 minutes ago, wendy-sparkles said:

I love Evelyn pronounced like Evelyn Waugh and I wish that version would make a comeback. Even though I prefer Mary to Mae (two names for the price of one!) all of this arguing is just about ...taste, a competition in which our own is always going to come in on top. You can just say something isn't your taste without trashing people who like it! I really loved the above observation that Mae was the initials of Mary and Annabel Elise, which, even if they didn't pick it with that in mind, is so sweet and lovely I hope someone points it out to them.

 My own middle name is Anne, which I had no idea was considered filler (it's a saint AND a Queen AND multiple people I'm related to AND girl who lives on Prince Edward Island) so ?‍♀️. My only complaint is my brother got a much cooler family middle name. Sometimes I go by Annie or Anne when I don't want to use/explain/spell my fairly unique first name, which I do think is an important fallback for the more unusually named among us, although I guess I could just invent a name for those purposes.

Also I kind of love Spurgeon, and I hope if/when Jessa and Ben have any future children they name them in that vein.

My middle name is Ann too. I wish it were with an E. 

[AussieKrissy]

8 hours ago, Glasgowghirl said:

People were shocked that Jessa and Ben went with Spurgeon Elliott over Elliott Spurgeon because the name was so out there. I still don't like his name but I am used to it and think he suits it now. Heistheway is a million times worse than Spurgeon and you can't even choose a nickname from that. Spurgeon gets called Spurgie and has the choice of Elliott to use when he is older, poor Heistheway didn't get a middle name though no middle name was ever going to go with it either. 

I don't even have a middle name and my first name is a shortened version of a name, I don't particularly like my name but hate the longer version of my name and my parent's did too, Dad picked my name because he liked an 80s singer with that name, given the names of some of the acts then it could have been so much worse. 

Stevie? Stevie nicks? Lol killer name if so. 

24 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

My middle name is Ann too. I wish it were with an E. 

I would too if that was my middle name lol 

[Glasgowghirl]

21 minutes ago, AussieKrissy said:

Stevie? Stevie nicks? Lol killer name if so. 

I would too if that was my middle name lol 

No, but that would have been cool as well. 

[Vivi_music]

16 hours ago, constantgardener said:

On a slight tangent, I’m really into genealogy and I’ve noticed that many people with French Canadian ancestry have surnames in their family trees including the word ‘dit’ e.g. Achin dit St Andre. I know that ‘dit’ means ‘said’, so does this mean it’s a sort of alternative surname/ nickname? And if so did people pick the extra name themselves, or was it given? 

To answer you, I did a bit of amateur genealogy too (mainly looking up some stuff that are available online. Sadly I don't have the time right now in my life, maybe one day I will go more in depth). Anywho.

You are right, ''dit'' literally means ''said'' but it on a more figurative way, reaserchers aren't all in agreement with its meaning. Some historians translated it to ''a.k.a'' (also known as); sometimes they said it was a nickname; while others consider it more as a ''distinguisher''. Personally, from my humble understanding - as a French canadian myself (lol) - I considered it mainly as either the ''a.k.a'' theory or the idea of it being a distinguisher.

The most popular explanation is that the French in New France took or were given a ''dit'' name as a way to distinguish themselves from one another. For example if in a same small town, there were two guys called Joseph Clément, well one might add a ''dit'' name to distinguish himself from the other. The ''dit'' name could be related to one's occupation or location. I think with time, some individuals dropped the ''dit'' name, or to the contrary, decided to only go by the ''dit'' name. Naming conventions were not necessarily ruled by any civil law so a family tree could easily change.

For example: I did a bit of research for a cousin of mine and his family name is Brunet. Turns out that there were several Brunet family in the area. One was Brunet dit Belhumeur and the other was Brunet dit Létang (maybe there were others but I didn't search EVERY Brunet root). At the same time in my life, I was compleating my master's, and doing T.A. work for a professor. It mainly consisted of going through some 19th century notary acts. Totally by accident, I stumbled upon an act mentionning a ''Brunet dit Létang'' (meaning it was still used in the 1830's). It would make sense that at one point one son decided to chose one name or the other because now all these names (Brunet, Létang, Belhumeur) are common names in Québec.

A popular example is the NHL Penguin Pittsbrugh player Kristopher Letang. Letang was born in Montréal.

 

 

Edited August 29, 2020 by Vivi_music

[JPickleDuggar]

omg, are some of you on here actually arguing on something being a filler name? I've never heard that term before reading this thread. And by the sound of it, you could argue my middle name and my sisters middle names are fillers. Mine comes from a great-great grandfather and my sisters comes from a great-grandfather. I plan on passing down my middle name to a child, and I believe my sister has talked about the same as well.

I think Evelyn Mae sounds gorgeous. Joy even said it sounds very elegant to her. It seems like she likes the more classic, timeless names. 

Those of you who are all uptight about a filler middle name would just be complaining if she used one of the virtue names like "Evelyn Grace". Jeezus, at least its not freaking "Wilberforce"

[NoKidsAndCounting]

Think Evelyn Mae sounds like a pretty name. My middle name is Anne, and my mom’s is Ann. I mean, I like it. It’s something we kind of share.?