Jump to content
  • Sky
  • Blueberry
  • Slate
  • Blackcurrant
  • Watermelon
  • Strawberry
  • Orange
  • Banana
  • Apple
  • Emerald
  • Chocolate
  • Charcoal
nelliebelle1197

Bro. Gary Hawkins 15: Not Sweet Fellowshipping with JRod - Yet

Recommended Posts

thoughtful

Brace yourselves. Between the spirit board and all that talk about drank (for those who don't know Walton lore, the "recipe" was for moonshine), you may split Hell waahhd open just for watchin' this:

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Four is Enough

I recently watched that episode. It gets worse.

John Boy takes the Ouija board to his home because Ike is spending too much time with Miss Mamie and Miss Emily, asking questions.

There's a kid staying with them whose Dad is working in Richmond. His mother is dead, but she used to be Olivia's (the mom) best friend.. Messages keep coming about the boy, but they're incoherent and truncated. Eventually, the Waltons are to take the boy to the train to go to his father. The ticket goes missing, messages keep coming, and eventually the Walton truck breaks down or gets a flat, and the boy misses the train.

The train goes on to be in some sort of accident, with great loss of life, but the boy is ok with the Waltons.

Then Olivia gets a message of flowers out of season, the same sort of flowers the dead mother used to love.

It was interesting. Olivia is somewhat tiresome. She hates the Recipe, and of course the Ouija board is an abomination, but the board is treated as not completely bad. The viewer is left to make her own decision.

An even handed treatment of something people find polarizing. We could use more of that nowadays.

 

Can I just say I love the Baldwin sisters and The Recipe?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful

Gary posted about a fundraiser, which was nice. He even gave.

Now, ordinarily, I would never judge amount. But, the fact that Gary lives like a leech off of other people's hard work gets under my skin so much that I will add that four people have contributed, and they've gotten $115 total. I leave it up to you to ponder how much of that may have come from Gary.

Spoiler

image.png.3f462660a2737c115adf1cfa93c0e1fb.png

Spoiler

image.png.4d4bce048962c99e55c7ba4536438026.png

Your (or you're) possibly plural, possibly possessive problems are to help you grown in the LORD and help someone you meet allow the way. Trail, trial? Take, taken? Who knows?

Spoiler

image.png.5df958787b61b6e70be15943b9b6e5b5.png

Oh, and Becky wants you to get it on and whip it up quick. With Tupperware.

Spoiler

image.png.44ef7c40f98c6c48d18c3ae9c375293c.png

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
AmazonGrace

Imma share my earworm.

 

  • Upvote 2
  • Haha 9
  • I Agree 1
  • Love 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful

Among my greyhound-loving friends, some would answer the "whip it good" in that song with "greyhound better."

I told them not to be dog bigots. Whippets are also adorable, as are Iggys.

Spoiler

image.png.34adc1e1095965f4edfe26a13d0fd413.png

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
FeministShrew

I really want someone to do a Bro. Gary autotune remix.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful

I wasn't wondering, but now I'm wondering who paid for and cooked all of that, because I'm sure it wasn't you, Gary.

Spoiler

image.png.00653251ada704517aaaa6ad15618db4.png

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
GlitterJam
10 hours ago, thoughtful said:

I wasn't wondering, but now I'm wondering who paid for and cooked all of that, because I'm sure it wasn't you, Gary.

  Hide contents

image.png.00653251ada704517aaaa6ad15618db4.png

 

What did Becky, Jacob,and the rest of the church have?

Who is asking Bro. Gary about his eating habit?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful
5 hours ago, GlitterJam said:

What did Becky, Jacob,and the rest of the church have?

Now, now - no more overeating jokes about Gary - Jesus helped him lose 30 pounds! I'm sure he took only a spoonful of each, and that it was his only meal of the day. :angelic-innocent: /s

If, in fact, he does control himself, I wonder which is harder for him, resisting the fleshly desire for food, or resisting the fleshly desire of his mind screaming "FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! TAKE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH!" at him.

Becky is updating her prayer list:

Spoiler

image.png.49248adbd6b92e160de438eead2b44ee.png

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful

Next church:

image.png.2addb296e29193c333e9813a4fa98061.png

I don't know about that name, Gary - they may be interested in your giving some charity instead of getting it.

http://www.cbcbuffalo.com/

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
AmazonGrace
16 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Becky is updating her prayer list:

  Hide contents

image.png.49248adbd6b92e160de438eead2b44ee.png

"I love you so much, Becky, I really care about you, and I'm willing to schedule some prayers for you. But I'm a busy person so I can  only pray for you once every week, so mind that you don't get into any trouble before Wednesday."

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful
4 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

"I love you so much, Becky, I really care about you, and I'm willing to schedule some prayers for you. But I'm a busy person so I can  only pray for you once every week, so mind that you don't get into any trouble before Wednesday."

I'm sure Auntie assured Becky that her prayers were good for a whole week. No doubt Becky does the same. I wonder if she has seven prayer lists - a different one for each day.

It's like prayees are business clients, neatly listed in separate files.

I'm picturing Becky as a busy 1950s male executive in a gray suit, swiveling in a chair behind a desk, in a mid-century modern (or perhaps classic dark paneled) office:

"Miss Carstairs, who am I praying for today?"
"Today is Wednesday, sir - college students. Do you want a cup of coffee before you start?"
"No thank you, Miss Carstairs, I am wide awake and ready to pray. Take a letter - to Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, etc. - you know the address. Dear Sir, Regarding previous prayer of the 24th, please make the following addendum . . . "

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful

Sunday morning services at Charity Baptist in Buffalo, NY.

They have a grand piano, and a pianist with some skills - he likes those flourishes, including a cross-over of the left hand at the end of an arpeggio. I also hear an organ, but can't see it. Gary may be very unhappy with the casual dress in this church.

Spoiler

image.png.7a75c771d239a929640031535d465d3c.png

They are singing Standing on the Promises when the video begins. After a short prayer, they sing Follow On.

After some announcements ( the man doing them asks everyone to turn cell phones off or at least mute them during the announcements - I hope that satisfies Gary), the pastor gets up to exhort them to go out and connect with the people who filled out visitor cards last week. They did an outdoor service last week - he tells them to ask "did you hear that big white preacher on top of the van screamin'?"

The pastor has an interesting accent that I can't place (don't think it's upstate NY), and I had some trouble understanding all that he was saying.

They sing Happy Birthday to some congregants, and we hear genuine applause, and what is clearly an applause track (a setting on the organ, perhaps?). The pastor goes on to say the Hawkins family will probably think they're crazy, and the pianist and organist add little musical "comments," like a late-night talk show band.

They are resuming their Tuesday night mission, which was suspended due to Covid; masks and hand sanitizer will be available. He discusses the possibility of getting a wheelchair lift donated to the church and getting some windows repaired, and how that will involve work.

He reminds them that there will be a second love offering today, and that all of that money will go directly to the Hawkins family, even if someone gives "a thousand bucks" or "a million bucks." For the first time (we are 14 minutes in to the service), we hear Gary's voice, saying Amen.

They sing Fill My Cup, then the pastor introduces the Hawkins family. After Gary says a few sentences, he calls out, "Are you from Buffalo?" and Gary answers "No, sir, ah'm from North Ca'olina." They get a laugh.

Becky sings It's Under the Blood, and Gary starts with "Thank God for the blood." He announces Mark 9, and actually goes right to it! Maybe he's so horrified by everything he's seeing and hearing (applause after songs, sound effects, clever musicians, casual dress, black people) that he can't even come up with his usual pre-scripture patter/lecture.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=mark+9%3A42-50&version=KJV

Gary's alterations:

KJV: And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched
Bro Gary Version: And if thy hand offend thee, cut it owff: it is better for thee to enter into the maytin* than having two hands and go into. Hell. Into the fahhr that never shall be quinched. Where the fahhr into the fahhr that never shall be quinched.

*I have no clue what Gary thinks the words are, and that was the closest spelling I could figure out for the sounds he was making.

KJV: And if thy foot offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter halt into life, than having two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched
BGV: And if thy foot offend thee, cut it owff: it is better for thee. To enter into half, into life, than having two feet being cast. Into hell, into the fire that never shall be quinched:

KJV:  Salt is good: but if the salt have lost his saltness, wherewith will ye season it? Have salt in yourselves, and have peace one with another.
BGV:  Salt is good: but if salt have lost its savior*, wherewith ihh ye season it have salt in yourselves, andandand havehave peace one with another.

*Gary can never tell the difference between "savor" and "savior," so I assume he meant "savor." That's another verse, dude.

And I need to go get ready to teach. I shall return . . .

  • Upvote 4
  • Haha 4
  • Thank You 11

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Four is Enough

Don't know how you do it, @thoughtful

 

And:I'm picturing Becky as a busy 1950s male executive in a gray suit, swiveling in a chair behind a desk, in a mid-century modern (or perhaps classic dark paneled) office:

That reminds me of: (Forgive me, Kate)

Spoiler

image.png.75d5063895dbd7c934e61391169c30fe.png

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful
1 hour ago, Four is Enough said:

That reminds me of: (Forgive me, Kate)

  Hide contents

image.png.75d5063895dbd7c934e61391169c30fe.png

 

Ah, Desk Set. The film that reminds me: never assume.

The timing of Kate's recitation of Curfew Must Not Ring Tonight, cleverly interspersed with the conversation around her, is just so funny and well-timed.

OK, back to Gary - people are dyin' and goin' to Hell. Did you know that?

"Ah've said this all mah lahf in the part of of of thangs listen hey there's only one way to go to Hell, 'n' that's rejectin' Jesus Christ. But there is a way that uh will send you to Hell, 'n' that is in the part of having something between you and God. Whatever it is ah mean hey it ain't gotta to be a body part, it can be a a a it can be somethin' that you got at home, it can be y'know what, you can have anything between you and God."

So you can only get to Hell by rejecting Jesus, except for the other ways you can get to Hell. Got it. Not planning to pluck out my only working eye anytime soon, Gary.

Gary's theme is What's Offendin' You?

When we are all done internally screaming "YOU ARE, GARY!" I shall proceed.

Ready? OK -

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+12%3A16-19&version=KJV

Badly read, but nothing funny or that reverses the meaning. "You don't have to go to Hell if you're rich." But you should get rid of anything that's coming between you and God. I can't hear exactly what he's saying, but he does make some joke about giving him your money at 30:24.

He also says there's another story in the Bible that he wanted to use, but God didn't want him to use it. He sort of tells it anyway. Based on Gary's ending it with "you know the commandments, but ya gotta get rid of some thangs," I think it's the well-known passage from Mark.

Onward and downward:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+16%3A23&version=KJV

Lazarus' rich man again. "I wanna say number 2, he got offended bah bein' (indecipherable) and threw into the pits of Hell."

He tells us that we'll be offended if we end up in Hell.

:confusion-shrug: I thought he was supposed to be talking about things that offend you in this life, and may put you into Hell (which already contradicted the statement that only rejecting Jesus can put you in Hell). Now he's talking about being offended because you've been thrown into Hell.

Gary says that Hell is like a broken record - you'll hear every message that was ever preached to you about salvation. Wait, does that mean I'm in Hell now, listening to Gary say this for the umpteenth time? :angry-devil:

Gary rants about "some movie star" he never heard of who just died, and how, if he wasn't saved, "his movie star ministry, his movie star that his - that he was into will not get him into heaven, amen?"

Gary, I'm sure the family and friends of Chadwick Boseman would be deeply moved by that incoherent and stupid tribute. 🙄

"Ah was talkin' to somebody the other day 'n' they was talkin' 'bout goin' to a funeral a-a-and we know that the Catholics today we all know that a Catholic will put their hands will put their hand on that casket 'n' they'll commend 'im into Heaven. The only way that that person in that casket's gonna be in Heaven is if they was ever borned agin 'n' saved bah the grace of God amen?"

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+18%3A11-12&version=KJV

KJV: The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.
BGV: The Pharisee stood. Prayin' thus for himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men. Or exhor or unjus, adulters, or even as the publican. Ah fast twice in a week, ah give tahthes of all that I possessss.

The usual rant about not boasting, works not getting you to Heaven, etc., follows.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+3%3A1-10&version=KJV

Lots of misreading, gaps and additions. Rant about being too smart/educated to get saved follows.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+25%3A3&version=KJV

"They was not prepared - for the comin'."

Gary tells a story about a man where he was preaching the other day, who came to the altar. Gary says he asked if the man needed someone to get with him with the Scriptures, then called the "pasture" over, who sat down with him and talked to him.  "You'd have to know a little bit about the guy's background, but, needless to say, he was not prepared to hear what he heard."

Well, it's only needless to say if we knew what the hell you are talking about, Gary - this is another one of those Gary stories with the middle missing.

And of course I was completely unsurprised to hear that Gary passed him on to Brother Henry. Gary really seems to be averse to one-on-one discussions with people, even those who trust him and are asking for help. I would be willing to bet that his doorknocking, like his Facebook arguments, are just mini-sermons, and that Gary is incapable of listening attentively (or just unwilling to do so). He really can't stand to focus on others, except to pick up stories to tell. All life is just grist for his mill (typical narcissist).

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalms+14%3A1&version=KJV

Gary gets "steupid" phone calls about credit card payments "then when ya ask 'em what credit card, they don't know what one it is. But what ah do is, when they're talkin' steupid ah turn around and start tryin' to witness to 'em."

When God takes Gary to the woodshed, he doesn't wait until he gets home, He does it wherever Gary is.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts+26%3A28&version=KJV

Agrippa almost got saved, but Gary really got saved (c'mon, you know the date!). If he'd died before that, he would have gone to Hell.

He tells a much-too-detailed story about the death of the sister of a pastor he knows.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans+10%3A9-10&version=KJV

It takes him a few tries to get through it.

The pastor told him about someone from the church who just died, and Gary hopes he's in Heaven. If so, he wants you to join him, as does Jesus.

That would have been more effective if you'd jotted down the man's name, you thoughtless dick. This church just lost a member to death, and, to you, he's "this guy."

 

  • Upvote 2
  • Haha 1
  • Thank You 16

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful

Nice to know JESUS isn't frantically looking for his car keys under the couch cushions. But, then again, he can handed it. HE JESUS, YOU Jane.

image.png.b40beaae1ca7a67ee7a44ce8fa64e26a.png

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
AmazonGrace
Quote

They are resuming their Tuesday night mission, which was suspended due to Covid; masks and hand sanitizer will be available. He discusses the possibility of getting a wheelchair lift donated to the church and getting some windows repaired, and how that will involve work.

He reminds them that there will be a second love offering today, and that all of that money will go directly to the Hawkins family, even if someone gives "a thousand bucks" or "a million bucks." For the first time (we are 14 minutes in to the service), we hear Gary's voice, saying Amen.

This reads like a sitcom. The preacher mentions "work". The camera shifts to Gary who pretends not to hear. Cut to the preacher again. He mentions love offerings. Cut to Gary. Gary shrugs and empties his pockets, finding a loose button, everyone understanding that he's not going to give a single cent. Then he hears that the money goes to his family and he perks right up. He hears "a thousand bucks" and is like, yeah, oh yeah. Then he hears, "a million bucks" and stands up, "AMEN! Amen brother!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Four is Enough
4 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Nice to know JESUS isn't frantically looking for his car keys under the couch cushions. But, then again, he can handed it. HE JESUS, YOU Jane.

image.png.b40beaae1ca7a67ee7a44ce8fa64e26a.png

 

We really NEED a "pulling hair out screaming" emoji. The grammar!

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful

image.png.2433f91bf408ddc5572e39c8103a1854.png

Gary, if I was a prayer, I'd be more likely to pray that these children are not exposed to your rage, theology, spelling, grammar, or, well, to keep it short - you. I would also pray that, in the future, they get a good education and grow up to adopt some less-vile form of faith.

Why is Vacation Bible School starting on the last night of August?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful

Back in Groton again, Gary teaches Vacation Bible School, in a rather unique outfit.

He's supposed to be helping the man in green tell the loaves and fishes story, with an interview format, as if Gary is a man who had been there. Gary is not good at this.

The guy in white is no help - he is very tired, and his belly itches (to be fair, he's not really part of the act - from the kids' POV, he's off to the side. He just happened to be smack in the middle from Becky's POV at the piano).

Spoiler

 image.png.4245bcc6ee406c6a3966edc4f7064b49.png     image.png.c1ed19c9378eb3f5fb2db40f28cebdcf.png  image.png.f226e94eeec65855fb459f3b092ae5f8.png

"Jesus was out walkin' 'n' these people was follerin' Jesus."

They miss a great opportunity - the man in green makes sure to say that the loaves were barley loaves, several times. With Gary's accent, a great punch line would have been "Yes, and they were bar'ly enough to feed anyone."

Ah, well.

Gary gets somewhat better at it as they go along, but they are too far from the kids, and not doing anything interactive with the kids, so it's not very good. Children are talking throughout.

Becky pans around the kids at one point, and it looks like their chairs are spaced, but not to six feet. Nobody is masked. There is some loud, racking coughing.

VBS - what fun! :roll:

  • Upvote 2
  • Haha 4
  • I Agree 1
  • Thank You 10

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful

Gary tells us more about his weight loss. They had it open in a motel (what, Gary? An exercise room? A pool? If the latter, did you keep your hat on?).

Why does your weight loss report only go up to the end of June? If you haven't lost since then, I hope it's that you've hit a plateau, and/or are gaining muscle weight from walking, and not because you have no patience for eating carefully unless you are getting quick results, and are back on the weens and gravy train.

I too, am grateful when people understand about the my health.

image.png.2a8d02e8377dc81d70bf0c73bb0c3cb1.png

Edited by thoughtful
riffle - oh, the irony!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful

Oh, FFS.

image.png.d33219fc3dab73f536135c41bc59e335.png

https://www.factcheck.org/2020/09/cdc-did-not-admit-only-6-of-recorded-deaths-from-covid-19/

Quote

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention hasn’t drastically reduced the number of deaths attributable to COVID-19, but posts making that bogus claim have been circulating widely — with the help of President Donald Trump, who retweeted one such claim on Aug. 30.

Twitter has since removed the original tweet, which came from an account dedicated to the pro-Trump conspiracy theory QAnon. But the claim is still readily available on all the major social media platforms. In fact, the same QAnon account that posted the now-deleted tweet includes a screenshot version featuring the president’s retweet.

 

  • Upvote 5
  • Disgust 2
  • Sad 3
  • WTF 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful

Gary seems to be getting some pushback. Maybe - they all write so badly, it's hard to tell.

Gary, don't let anybody come up your website! It sounds painful!

image.png.3d00896f3bdf6d0308c34c8d2d6f8cb5.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Bad Wolf

He's too much. I'm off to watch Lucifer

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
thoughtful

Glad I took a screenshot of that stupid 6% post, because it's gone now, as are all of the comments. I hope it's because someone persuaded Gary it was BS, but I doubt it. It's not like him to care abut looking like a fool or a right-wing nut, so I'm not sure how he was persuaded to take it down, but I'm glad it's gone. * I figure my screenshot of it won't do much harm here, where people have brains.

Doesn't this invitation make you want to run to Vacation Bible School as fast as you can?

Learn Scripture's what, Gary?

image.png.7af4a2f5de85b9c77a2b237cc4342bfe.png

* ETA - I did look to see if Facebook was removing those posts, as Twitter did. I only found one person claiming such a post had been removed, but that could be the answer as to why it is gone.

https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/kansas/articles/2020-09-02/senate-candidate-marshall-slams-facebook-virus-censorship

Edited by thoughtful

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.