Bro. Gary Hawkins 15: Not Sweet Fellowshipping with JRod - Yet

[thoughtful]

6 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

Yeah if there's one thing Christ was noted for it was celebrating hypocrisy. 

And withholding help from poor people. Oh, and supporting the self-righteous, rich powers-that-be - yeah, that was his thing.

1 hour ago, Xan said:

Oh, Gene... no.  This isn't your time.  If you're reduced to preaching in Bro Gary's tent while standing on a utility trailer, your moment hasn't come.  And he spit on it during his sermon?  Ewwww...

Yes, he was spitting on Governor Cooper, in absentia.

And I do like the thought that preaching at the First Church of Bunch o' Hawkinses is a sign from God that Gene is not destined to be a great and famous preacher, remembered in song and story.

1 hour ago, Xan said:

Because we've now been exposed to a lot of Weenese, I decided that he meant "Liberty" instead of "Library".  Yep.  He's at Liberty Baptist Church.

I didn't think of that! It was late, I was tired . . .

He did it again:

Spoiler

Gary, if you didn't have a red hat that says "Make Church Great Again" made, you are not really committed to your theme.

From the church Facebook page:

Spoiler

Be careful what you pray for!

They had a "Harvest Party." Looks like another church that is having all of their usual activities, in person, indoors and without masks.

https://www.facebook.com/freenChristlbc/posts/1276936742706891

[thoughtful]

Sunday service at Library - er, Liberty Baptist in Marion OH starts with I Know Not Why God's Wondrous Grace. At the end, the person closest to Gary sneezes.

The pastor offers a rather long prayer. Gary starts to moan, but gets quieter when he hears that nobody else at this church does that. The pastor asks prayers for lots of people, including those who felt they needed to quarantine, to "be back with us soon."

How about praying for their health?

After announcements, collection is taken while they sing Blessed Be the Name. Count Your Blessings is next.

The pastor tells them to vote Biblically, and makes sure they know that means for Trump. As he goes on and on about it, Gary bellows in assent, like a bull moose.

They sing Living for Jesus.

Gary comes up, and explains that his wife and son couldn't be with him this trip, because she's having some procedures this week, then surgery on the 9th. He asks prayers for her, then for himself, because he can't remember anything without her - he left the prayer cards and something else he needed at the hotel.

While talking about his weight loss, he says that his wife "has to have that - ah call it the fat surgery, is the only way ah know how to say it, ah'm a hillbilly, ah didn't go to school to learn all that other stuff, amen, but uh, do pray for her."

So I guess Becky is having some sort of weight-loss surgery.

Gary, learn the name of it. Besides the fact that calling it "the fat surgery" is really nasty, what about if Becky has some sort of episode after she's come home, or weeks later, on the road, and you need to tell EMTs what kind of surgery she recently had?

Gary tells them that he voted for Donald Trump, he'll vote for him again, and "if the Lord'll tarry his comin' let Junior run, ah'll vote for him, AMEN!"

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans+3%3A1-8&version=KJV

Mostly read with clumsy, repetitive errors - here are few:

KJV: unto them were committed the oracles of God.
BGV: unto them were committed the ordinance of God.

KJV: if our unrighteousness commend the righteousness of God, what shall we say
BGV: if our righteousness - unrighteousness commit the righteousness of God, what shall we say

KJV: And not rather, (as we be slanderously reported, and as some affirm that we say,) Let us do evil, that good may come?
BGV: And not rather, (as we be slandering reports, and as some affirm that we may - that we say,) Let us do evil, that good may come?

Gary wants to preach, just for a few minutes, on What's Wrong With the Truth?

He gets up to rhythmic ranting mode pretty quickly (I think his ability to imitate Brother Gouge was refreshed - make your own Gene pool joke). Familiar crap under spoiler:

Spoiler

Gary's got a burden for America. God is true, and every man is a liar. It's about God, not about Gary. Several dozen repeats of "listen hey," "amana tell you," and "ah'm gonna let you know something." Schools and collegesssss will lie to your children. Some IFB churches are preaching another Jesus. Yo-yo Christians. Don't mess with the KJV. Gary has frenemies on Facebook, and he's blocked lots of idiots. He insults Rascal, then tells the story of the little girl who wanted to pray for her dog. Prayer still worksssss. Gary wants you to be peculiar, unlike the world. Dr. Lee Roberson said 70% of churches was on their way to Hell, and that was in the 1970s - how much worse is it today? Salvation ain't easy, it ain't hard, it's simple - accept what Jesus did on the old rugged crosssssssss. The creepy picture of Lester Roloff with the eyes that follow you. PECULIAR! DIFFERENT! TV is evil, including Fox News. Pelosi's not the problem, even though she's gong to Hell (just go? I thought she was going to split it wide open!). Paul says to crucify your flesh daily. How many people died and went to Hell already today? If someone treated you at a restaurant, you wouldn't ask to pay again - that's just like rejecting Jesus paying for your sins. Don't be afraid of consoversy - Jesus like a little bit of consoversy. There's a Hell to shun and a Heaven to gain. If you don't preach Hell, the blood's gonna be on your hands. The rich man still wants that drop of water. Streets of gold, mansions and Chahnese food in heaven. Jesus is coming back. It's good to belong to a church, and to be baptized, but that won't get you to heaven, you must be saved. You better make sure you're saved. Gary played religion until he got saved on July 11, 1999.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=revelation+22%3A1-5&version=KJV

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians+4%3A6&version=KJV

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+peter+2%3A9&version=KJV

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+25%3A41&version=KJV

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Thessalonians+4%3A13-20&version=KJV

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+19%3A10&version=KJV

After misreading this very short verse:

KJV: The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: but the word of our God shall stand for ever.
BGV: The grass withereth, the flowers fade: but the word of our God shall stand for ever.

Gary tells us he is "KJV from the top o' mah head to the bottom of mah shoes!"

Well, then, it would be nice if you could read it correctly, Gary.

He makes sure we know where the top of his head is, but doesn't bend all the way down to his shoes. Gary, you're so fit now - you can do it!

Spoiler

Medium-level yelling: "The NIV takes the word blood out, the NIV takes the virgin birth out, the New King James takes words out that shouldn't be in there, some of them even put cuss words in 'em, ah've been told, ah don't know 'bout all of 'em but ah'm gon' say somethin' to ya, ah have the word o' God, and hey, listen, it is the truth."

Gary, are you aware that you said the NKJV takes out words that shouldn't be in there?

"Hey, when God says it from the in the beginning, He says 'ah created the Heavens and the earth,' guess what? Ah'm not quite sure that ah unnerstand all of the part that He done there, but ah kin tell ya ah traveled enough of America, there's no doubt God did it. 'Cause there ain't no man woman boy or girl could ever  do America and make it look as good as it does in the different parts of the world, amen?"

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+1%3A26-36&version=KJV

KJV: And the angel came in unto her,
BGV: And the angels came into her

KJV: she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be.
BGV: she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of solution this should be.

Now I'm picturing Mary with beakers and bunsen burners.

Gary makes sure we know Mary was a virgin - she did not sleep with him (I guess he means Joseph). Gary, you should check out how you read verse 28, because there may have been some action with  Gabriel and his buddies.

Sodomy's takin' over. "That's the only bad thing about North Carolina where ah'm from , is we gotta git rid of Dr. Cooper, because he ain't go enough sense to git outta sodomy. He got in for only one reason, because a lotta people wanted to go to the men's bathroom, the women wanted to go to the men's bathroom, and the women - men wanted to go to the women's bathroom. And they voted him in."

He rambles about the women in his life, and how he loves them dearly (he says he can't remember how many sisters he have - hope that's a joke), but he doesn't want to go to the women's bathroom.

"And amana tell you somethin' Paul Hartman's told some stories, if there was ever a man to walk in behind mah wahf, ah will walk in, but ah'm not tellin' ya the end of the story. Amen. The Lord's soon comin'."

Gary , you make it sound like the Lord is your backup for when you go into the women's bathroom to kill the guy who followed Becky in. Or followed Paul Hartman's wife in.

Or something.

Also, when did Governor Cooper become a doctor?

Gary was born 48 years ago as a little boy, and he's still proud of it. He doesn't want to be a woman.

Gary, nobody's asking you to become a woman.

Gary will be fine with Jesus coming back before the election. He says somebody put on Facebook: "If they win - ya say 'who you talking 'bout, they?" - the losers - ah'll be in the 'lectric chair within a year. 'Cause ah'm not quittin'. Ah'm not gonna quit tellin' people Jesus saves."

Hey drama queen, does anybody even use the electric chair anymore?

Gary drifts to the end, and the pastor reminds everyone to godbother everyone they know, and to come to the altar.

Edited November 2, 2020 by thoughtful

[Xan]

So Becky's getting a gastric bypass operation?  I guess they're running standard tests on her to make sure her heart is strong enough to withstand surgery.  Or maybe she scheduled things so she could have a little break from Gary.  I'm glad she kept Caleb with her or with Gary's family.  It will do Gar good to be on his own without anyone to hand him stuff for a couple of days.

I wonder if Gary is going to hang around and help take care of Becky when she gets out of the hospital?

Gary's willing to vote for Don Jr.?   That brain damage is more extensive that I thought.

[Ozlsn]

4 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary's got a burden for America.

America's got a burden of Garys - too many ignorant fools spreading disease and spouting rubbish.

4 hours ago, thoughtful said:

If someone treated you at a restaurant, you wouldn't ask to pay again - that's just like rejecting Jesus paying for your sins

... what? No it's not. What is he trying to say here??

4 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary tells them that he voted for Donald Trump, he'll vote for him again, and "if the Lord'll tarry his comin' let Junior run, ah'll vote for him, AMEN!"

Ah Gary. Ready to follow the Emperor and the Crown Prince almost anywhere. What a surprise. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

For the record, I'm not mad @thoughtful. Keep being thoughtful. Gary close your mouth before a fly lands in it. 

Of course Gary and Jill R are stereotypical Trumpers. 

I'm surprised Becky can afford a gastric bypass. 

Lord, help our community and country get through the next few days and weeks. This election is exhausting and stressful. 

 

[GlitterJam]

Are Gary and Jrod that far away from each other at the moment?

Will we finally have our crossover? Can we put them in a room to yap at each other on election night?

[Xan]

6 minutes ago, GlitterJam said:

Are Gary and Jrod that far away from each other at the moment?

Will we finally have our crossover? Can we put them in a room to yap at each other on election night?

They already know each other.  I think Gary commented not that long ago on Jill's Facebook page.   Gary would probably like to have the family as singers for his meetings but, then, he wouldn't want to share the preaching stage with David.  

[thoughtful]

12 hours ago, Xan said:

So Becky's getting a gastric bypass operation?  I guess they're running standard tests on her to make sure her heart is strong enough to withstand surgery.  Or maybe she scheduled things so she could have a little break from Gary.  I'm glad she kept Caleb with her or with Gary's family.  It will do Gar good to be on his own without anyone to hand him stuff for a couple of days.

I wonder if Gary is going to hang around and help take care of Becky when she gets out of the hospital?

Gary's willing to vote for Don Jr.?   That brain damage is more extensive that I thought.

We don't know if it's gastric bypass or some other sort of weight loss surgery, since Gary the caveman just calls it "the fat surgery." There are quite a few possibilities:

https://www.webmd.com/diet/obesity/weight-loss-surgery-making-the-choice#1-1

Gary, help? I know, you were being sarcastic. You don't wonder, nor do I.

And I think the Don Jr. statement was part of a dream that the whole family will become a dunce dynasty, providing presidents for many generations.

I think most people with this fantasy see Ivanka as the most likely next president, but Gary's patriarchal beliefs have to bypass that.

7 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

America's got a burden of Garys - too many ignorant fools spreading disease and spouting rubbish.

Really.

7 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

12 hours ago, thoughtful said:

If someone treated you at a restaurant, you wouldn't ask to pay again - that's just like rejecting Jesus paying for your sins

... what? No it's not. What is he trying to say here??

Oh, that's an old one - he has said that many times. Jesus has paid for our sins already, so, all you have to do is believe in that payment and be grateful. As Gary often bellows: It. Is. Finished!

I think it's part of the misconception that non-saved people who do good for others, behave well in any way, or follow the ritual practices of their religion, are trying to buy their way into Heaven, to "pay" for their own sins.

In Gary's mind, it is morally superior to say "Why, thanks, Jesus - the burger was delicious, but if I knew you'd be paying, I'd have gotten the lobster!"

Or something like that.  ?

7 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Gary close your mouth before a fly lands in it. 

With all of those tent services, I imagine Gary has swallowed a lot of insects.

Gary, did you have to use the word spreading?

Spoiler

 

Edited November 2, 2020 by thoughtful

[thoughtful]

Gary has posted the conspiracy theory that the virus is real, but it was created by Democrats. These people will force their brains to any extreme to see the world the way they want to see it.

Spoiler

The level of paranoia and delusion, not to mention blind stupidity, is off the charts.

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

2 hours ago, Xan said:

They already know each other.  I think Gary commented not that long ago on Jill's Facebook page.   Gary would probably like to have the family as singers for his meetings but, then, he wouldn't want to share the preaching stage with David.  

Not only would he not want to share the preaching but more importantly he won’t share the collection plate.

[Black Aliss]

I think Marion and Wooster are about an hour and a half apart. Jill wouldn't go that far unless she and her family were asked to sing.

 

[Walking Cat Bed]

1 hour ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

4 hours ago, Xan said:

They already know each other.  I think Gary commented not that long ago on Jill's Facebook page.   Gary would probably like to have the family as singers for his meetings but, then, he wouldn't want to share the preaching stage with David.  

Not only would he not want to share the preaching but more importantly he won’t share the collection plate.

Imagine the who-pays-for-lunch-out standoff.

[thoughtful]

  

Last night's service at Liberty Baptist in Marion Ohio is listed like this on Gary's Facebook:

Spoiler

Gary, Becky is not with you, also:

Spoiler

??????

Oh, wait, no - it's just this guy:
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100044877273227

They sing Heaven Came Down, then the pastor prays as Gary moans, "Oh, God, yes."

Announcements -  a man is called to the front to announce the wonderful idea that God gave him - he will give a $50 bill to whoever brings the most visitors to church during the month of December. There are rules - anyone who hadn't been there in November counts, and they have to come to Sunday School. If they bring 10 or more, it's $100.

Gary asks "Does it have to be this church?" OK, for once, he deserves his laugh.

They sing Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus while an offering is taken, then share praises - one woman is thankful the electricity wasn't off for long, and, when it was, the kids were out trick-or-treating, so they weren't stuck at home in the dark. I wonder if Gary will lecture her later about Hellween.

More women and girls speak up, thankful for family, God's mercy, various people coming to church. Finally two men thank God for relatives who made them go to church.

They sing There is a Name I Love to Hear and I Have a Song That Jesus Gave Me. The latter has one of those "is this a hymn or a college fight song" tunes.

BTW, their pianist was missing yesterday, so they are singing a cappella. The song leader and a woman in the congregation are in tune and in rhythm, which seems to keep everyone together. Gary is pretty consistently singing a full octave below the men in the church, sliding up to try to sing with them when that gets too low even for him.

Gary tells us (well-traveled-Gary-crap under spoiler):

Spoiler

It's good to be back in church. Gary has a burden for America. His friend in NY has a church that needs a new pastor. The pandemic made churches fail. The Lord gave Gary a gospel tent, and he wants people to ask him to bring it (he goes on for a pretty long time advertising his tent). Don't never cancel your services. Take prayer cards (he realized he did have some with him). Our churches need to stand up, in these last days. Nowawana say somethin' to ya. Listen, hey! Ah unnerstand that, but. 'N' so but uh. The Baptist churches are getting as bad as the other denominations. The best way to gossip about your pasture is to talk to God about him. Good preachin' even if ah am doin' it. If ah have to do the preachin' and the amenin' we'll be here all night. All lives matter to Jesus. Put yourself in the offering plate. If the Democrats win, Joe Bahden's not gonna be your president - he's a puppet. Ah may step on your toes, 'n' ah'm gon' go ahead and apologize, ah was aimin' for your heart. In Heaven, ah'll be over in the corner with John the Baptist, because he named the sin and the sinner. Don't quit using the altars. The church that had a permanent wet spot from the woman who came and cried about her unsaved loved one. Go ahead and take your halo off, you ain't as good as you think you are. Turkey havin' a seizure (twice). TV is evil. WORSHIPPIN' GAHHHD! Tortures. Everybody works with a bunch of dopeheads and drunks that will tell you they had a fun weekend, but won't tell you that they spent most of it over the toilet pukin' their guts out. Tell them how much fun church was. Crucify your flesh. He loves his truck, and wishes he could get it to jump around with gospel music like these people do with rap music. KLOVE is evil rock and roll. Cooper shut the churches down, but Christians made church unessential long before that (twice - once with the Black preacher on Facebook). Facebook is not church. His 13-year-old supports a mission. Job never cursed God, even though he lost his children and his wife's Walmart money. Tribble-ations. I gotta hurry up, you gotta go watch I Love Lucy. Jack Trieber getting fined $5000 for every church service. There's a Heaven to gain and a Hell to shun. Bus kids putting gum under the pews, and the pastor siding with the kids. Oliver B. Green. Teenagers in SD who told him you can lose your salvation if you die while having a bad dream.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+12%3A1&version=KJV

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=job+1%3A22&version=KJV

He announces Job 29:19, then reads Proverbs:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs 29%3A18&version=KJV

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalms+3%3A8&version=KJV

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+12%3A12-27&version=KJV

He stumbles horribly through this, getting almost no sequence of 3-4 words in a row correct, and adding a commentary after one verse. Granted, this one is a tongue-twister. Highlights:

KJV: but God hath tempered the body together
BGV: but God hath tempted the body together

KJV: that there should be no schism in the body;
BGV: that where - that there should be no skim  - skimmish  in the body

These verses always make me think of the Red Hour/Return of the Archons episodes of Star Trek. Are you of the body?

God sees you clean the commode, and appreciates it, so don't worry if the pastor doesn't praise you for it (I assume he means the church commode).

The pastor used Gary's "drug" joke earlier in the service (I was "drug" to church as a child), and I actually said "Aw, Gary, he used your joke - now you have to cut that out." But Gary still uses it.

Keep bringing in the kids on the bus - kids are worth it. "they're not raised in a Christian home, they're not gonna have the best language, they're not gonna smell the best, AMEN? They need Jesus, amen."

"Amana go 'n' git this outta mah little thing or whatever."

Your brain? Off your chest? Are you excusing yourself to go to the bathroom?

"Joinin' up with some crowd, this join  whatev - listen hey, ah ah ah ah don't - ah was listen - ah was watching - er listenin' to a preacher here in the last coupla days whatever, ah'm not sure how good ah fit in with most groups. Y'know, ya got this kinda -ite, ya got that kinda -ite, ah'm just a Jesus-ite. Ya say wha? Well, because we've got today, ah've seen it, ah watch it, ah see this stuff, we have got a lot of people today that are analyzing a DEAD man! I mean hey, ah unnerstand you give honor where honor's due, but amana let you know something, he's not God, amen? And she's not God. Am ah makin' sense tonight?"

No. No you are not. Well, except for the part about you not fitting in with most groups.

Maybe he meant "idolizing" when he said "analyzing," which would make it a little closer to being English rather than word coleslaw (Gary's chopping up of the language goes beyond mere salad), but I still have no idea if he is talking about a specific dead man and woman.

And it's especially ironic coming from the patron saint of Old Time Preachers Were Better.

This gets a fine reception, from what I can hear, despite making no sense, but Gary looks at the camera and says (to Becky, I assume), "Honey, ah maht be comin' home early, ah don't know, amen."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+peter+5%3A+1-3&version=KJV   is mostly botched.

KJV:  Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind;
BGV:  Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the overseer thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy Luger, but of a ready mind;

Take the overseer, but don't trade him for a dirty gun.

Gary goes on a screaming coronavirus rant:

Spoiler

"Covid, when it first come out, ah really thought it was something, now we figured it out - it's nothin'! It's no - listen hey, it is more people dahin' of diseases like cancer and heart attack and own and own ah could go with the different kahndsa thangs, that ANYBODY - listen, hey ah was talkin', ah put it on Facebook, ah'm not scared, ah preach it, ah'm not preachin' Covid-19, but d'all those numbers ah've been listenin' to your governor, in Ohio, 'n' ah been puttin' on his little program, 'FAKE NEWS! FAKE NEWS! FAKE NEWS!' You say wha? 'Cause all 'em numbers ain't real. Mah wahf just had to go take a Covid test, ah told her please tell 'em that we're not married, 'cause ah don't wanna be a number. Ah ain't no kin to you, ah don't have no idear who you are, ah'm just your chauffeur that's takin' you where you're going. AMEN!"

Gary, you're a liar - you did not take the virus seriously at the beginning. Also, make up your mind - hoax, conspiracy, falsified records, serious illness? Pick one!

After extolling the virtues of old-time preaching, he says: "Now ah wanna say somethin' to ya, hey - ah do not lahk it, but ah'm gonna let you know somethin', in this town, in this state, it's not everybody that would be equalled, and be, and listen, that could hook up with this church. Did ya all understand what ah said? Don't be puttin' words in my mouth, amen?"

He sounds very resentful that they might put words in his mouth. But Gary, what you said was even more bizarre than usual. I have no clue what that was even about, let alone what it meant.

Gary has problems with weak pastors who don't want him to come back, even if their congregants want him. "Ah got people that tell me 'Brother Hawkins, when you comin' back?' When your pasture has the guts to invaht me back amen."

He says that coming to the altar will help you remember. "Ever'body in here's got altimers. Ever'where ah go, they got altimers, ever'body does. Ya say what'd they forget? What that sin was and what that Lord was dealin' with 'em about. Amen?"

Gary tells us there have been times in his life when he felt too sick to come to church, but he forced himself. Um, what happened to staying home if you don't feel well, Gary? Does that only apply to people who might give you something?

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+4%3A23-24&version=KJV

This is followed by some material stolen from Gouge's "true worship" sermon.

He screams something about "7-11 songs that you sing 11 times, honey, straight outta the pits of Hell, amen" then shrieks the lyrics to a few of the hymns he loves, including hitting a high note I don't think I could reach for the "now" in Amazing Grace. Really - it's at 52:55, if you want to know what it would sound like if someone zapped Gary with a cattle prod.

He loved New Salem (although I don't think he remembers their name), and he bought two of their CDs: "ah really wished they'd give 'em to me, but ah bought 'em anyway."

Some of that contemporary Christian music that "makes you jerk around" is "worse'n AC 'n' DC, amen!"

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+17%3A6&version=KJV

He invents about half of the words he says, and I hear the echoes of another Bible edition from his unsaved childhood.

"Did you know, we must have some of the greatest preachers today, or the people are just really that Godly, they only need one service a week."

He's turned away from the camera, but I know a pissy face followed. Gary, you are the master of sarcasm.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs+18%3A24&version=KJV

Be friendly, so you can save people.

That seems honest.

[thoughtful]

5 hours ago, Walking Cat Bed said:

Imagine the who-pays-for-lunch-out standoff.

No problem - the church hosting them pays, of course!

[GlitterJam]

11 hours ago, thoughtful said:

After extolling the virtues of old-time preaching, he says: "Now ah wanna say somethin' to ya, hey - ah do not lahk it, but ah'm gonna let you know somethin', in this town, in this state, it's not everybody that would be equalled, and be, and listen, that could hook up with this church. Did ya all understand what ah said? Don't be puttin' words in my mouth, amen?"

 

Translation: "Don't invite JRod here at the same time as me. I'm better than her, don't hook her up. Don't say I'd like to see her here at the same time as me. Now we're going to take up an offering, and it will all be for me, because I got here first."

[forgetmenow]

23 hours ago, thoughtful said:

  After extolling the virtues of old-time preaching, he says: "Now ah wanna say somethin' to ya, hey - ah do not lahk it, but ah'm gonna let you know somethin', in this town, in this state, it's not everybody that would be equalled, and be, and listen, that could hook up with this church. Did ya all understand what ah said? Don't be puttin' words in my mouth, amen?"

It kind of seems racist?  But I don't know how... but it gives me that icky feeling I get when people think they are being sneaky racist.

Btw - my dad enjoys the occasional Gary report and he lost it at "fat surgery."  Like doubled over, got the wind knocked out of him.  I expect that this will be part of our regular parlance for quite awhile.

[mango_fandango]

I think Jill said that her favourite place was Mt Airy NC or something, which is where Bro GHaw is from. 
I have also wondered what a meeting between those two might be like.

[thoughtful]

3 hours ago, forgetmenow said:

It kind of seems racist?  But I don't know how... but it gives me that icky feeling I get when people think they are being sneaky racist.

I don't know if you listened, or just got that from my transcript, but it definitely sounded like that when he said it - like one of those "you know I can't say what I want to say, and would say, if it was just the two of us in the room, nudge nudge" statements.

But it still doesn't make enough sense for me to know.

3 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

I think Jill said that her favourite place was Mt Airy NC or something, which is where Bro GHaw is from. 

Jill was in love with Mt. Airy, due to all of the Andy Griffith stuff. I guess the Amish country of Ohio called to her a bit louder.

And yes, Gary is from that neck of the woods - Germanton, which is about 30 miles away, closer to Winston-Salem.

It's starting to look like Governor Cooper will win the gubernatorial race. Hope so! I wonder when he will start forcing all North Carolinians to go to the other gender's public bathrooms.

Gary hasn't reacted to that yet, but he has posted:

Spoiler

 

He's back with his baby doll, and gets some weird comments.

Spoiler

And, in the Dear Lord, What Balls department:

Spoiler

 

[forgetmenow]

4 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

I don't know if you listened, or just got that from my transcript, but it definitely sounded like that when he said it - like one of those "you know I can't say what I want to say, and would say, if it was just the two of us in the room, nudge nudge" statements.

But it still doesn't make enough sense for me to know.

Oh, I never listen to Gary.  Your recaps are the only reason I'm here for the show!

And yeah, what the what?  But since it's Gary, I'm just gonna go ahead, assume the worst and then probably find out that it's even worse than I had expected.

[thoughtful]

7 minutes ago, forgetmenow said:

Oh, I never listen to Gary.  Your recaps are the only reason I'm here for the show!

And yeah, what the what?  But since it's Gary, I'm just gonna go ahead, assume the worst and then probably find out that it's even worse than I had expected.

I'm glad to know that I managed to convey his tone, as well as his word-like noises.

ETA - one of the fascinating and disgusting things about Gary is that he puts so many groups of people in his "Them" pile, that he could be dogwhistling/winkwinking about black people, or Methodists, or regular Baptists, or other IFB folks, or women, or any number of people.

He could be calling out the people in the church, not being conspiratorial with them, because he feels they don't want someone he thinks should be included.

Word coleslaw gives me indigestion.

Edited November 4, 2020 by thoughtful

[thoughtful]

Gary hasn't had a hissy fit (yet) about Cooper being re-elected by the evil bathroom-switchers, so I am disappointed. However, he did post this:

Spoiler

And he got brownie points from Becky, for the second bouquet of roses he's gotten her lately (I didn't bother posting the first, but it was larger and nicer than this one). What they see in each other, I'll never know, but they do seem to adore one another.

The procedure she refers to is not the surgery (unless Gary was in a fog about dates, which is entirely possible) - that's on 11/9.

Spoiler

 

[thoughtful]

Gary continues to be self-righteous about carrying a bound Bible around with him, rather than having it on his phone.

Maybe the lady was referring to the towel you wrap it in, Gary! Was she damp?

So, this tells us that, whatever the procedure is that Becky is having today, it's being done in a hospital. You'd think he'd ask prayers for her, or let his Facebook people know how she's doing, but no.

[thoughtful]

Under the post with the roses, Becky got a lot of comments concerned about her health, and posted that the procedure went well.

Gary posted this:

Spoiler

If it was anyone else, I'd assume they were talking about their spouse's successful medical procedure.

This being Gary, it's a toss-up between that, his truck getting fixed (last I heard, it was having problems), and getting another gig.

[thoughtful]

Becky, I think you have your casting wrong here. Trump is the snake.

Spoiler

 

[3splenty]

I know we've discussed why on earth Becky quit her job to join Bro on his travels.  On my way home from work I started thinking...

I've had days where I want to hang up my scrubs and quit.  We can't save everyone.  Watching someone die when we can't stop it is horrible.  Holding the family as they process the initial grief...there are some nights I wake up because I'm reliving some of those times.  Yes, I have my faith to lean on, but I also have a counselor and a strong support system of fellow nurses who get it.

Maybe she saw religion as a way to fix her feelings.  I don't know, just a thought.