Bro. Gary Hawkins 15: Not Sweet Fellowshipping with JRod - Yet

[Four is Enough]

On 10/28/2020 at 2:57 PM, thoughtful said:

They seem to favor cricks and ponds. Gary can tell you all of the places he's been baptized

Why does anyone have to be baptized more than once? Even ebil Catholics recognize Christian baptism as being part of the Body of Christ...

[smittykins]

Because those who practice “believers’ baptism”(generally by immersion)don’t believe that infant baptism counts, as babies can’t accept Christ as their Savior, which is a prerequisite to them.

[Xan]

Gary's busy on Facebook again.  Here's some more word salad:

I think Gary wants all of us to quit spending money on material things like mortgages and groceries and car insurance and, instead, send it to missionaries.  Those poor missionaries are just trying to get to where the LORD has call them, people!  Sure, maybe He has call them to Florida in the winter or to the Southwest.  But, if they don't get there, People might go to hell.  It's your duty to send Gar and his ilk enough money so they can loll about avoid work take a vacation keep People out of hell!  One day when you stand before the LORD, do you want to have to explain why you didn't keep Brother Gary in weens and gravy?  I thought not.

And if you can't go ye into all the world, (Well... Covid!) then send someone.  Maybe Gary is for supporting Instacart and GrubHub.  Alrighty there, Gar.

[Dysfundamental]

1 hour ago, smittykins said:

Because those who practice “believers’ baptism”(generally by immersion)don’t believe that infant baptism counts, as babies can’t accept Christ as their Savior, which is a prerequisite to them.

Yes, but I’ve never heard of an adult being baptized more than once.

[Walking Cat Bed]

1 hour ago, Dysfundamental said:

Yes, but I’ve never heard of an adult being baptized more than once.

I was baptized as a child in a non-denominational church (I was 7) then again as an adult in a Southern Baptist church (18). I considered confirmation with the Episcopal Church -- I'm not sure if they include baptism in that process.

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

OK Folks, Bro has been flogging this money message grab hard lately.  I hope it means people are not handing over enough and Gary goes out of business.  

[smittykins]

22 minutes ago, Walking Cat Bed said:

I was baptized as a child in a non-denominational church (I was 7) then again as an adult in a Southern Baptist church (18). I considered confirmation with the Episcopal Church -- I'm not sure if they include baptism in that process.

They don’t.  

[3splenty]

He reminds me of Rev Jerry Sendmemoney on the Yoopers...

"They forget about those glasses for little Jphnny.  They forget about those braces for little Jenny.  And they especially forget to SEND ME MONEY!"

[sixcatatty]

 

[thoughtful]

12 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

17 hours ago, thoughtful said:

His nekkidness belongs to his wife, and nobody else.

First or second Gazza?

Yeah, isn't it amazing how Stephanie (wife #1) seems to have become imaginary? Becky's first husband is a wraith, as well. Gary just refers to himself and Becky, and how they have seven children, despite that fact that none of the seven actually came from their union.

As I've said before, I would ordinarily think of remarried parents embracing one another's kids as "my children" to be a positive, loving thing. But, in their case, it seems more like a way to pretend their previous marriages never happened.

BTW, Gary ranted about divorce, and how much it hurts children, in that message.

Gall balls - the man has  gall balls.

I think the multiple baptisms have something to do with doubting whether one is saved, or someone else doubting your salvation. Or just liking attention. Not much to do with actual Christian belief or practice of any kind.

Last night's revival meeting started with a song called A New Name in Glory.

Again, prayers are hard to hear over the rain, wind, and traffic noises. Josh makes some joke when his phone rings, but I can't figure it out.

Danny asks prayers for the election, and can't understand why it's so close. I guess everybody he sees daily is voting Republican, so it's a mystery to him. He wants Cooper out, of course.

Kids ask for prayers, and Josh stares at them dully, then moos "Anybody else?"

Caleb ask prayers for his attempt to get a job. This gets loud amens. A woman calls out "and to keep a job!" which also gets amens.

I am seeing a pattern in these home church services - the Hawkins and Wells families seem to use them to get their digs in about other family members' behaviors. It's like a room full of pre-teens, burning and dissing and smirking, when it's not a guilt-fest and screaming faith-orgy.

Joey gives the general prayer, including prayer for the power workers to get the power back on (they do have power under the tent). Gary is silent. No prayergasm, Gar?

Caleb and another young man sing He Has, then he, Becky, Gary and Jacob (the fab four are back together, so stop blaming Yoko!) sing Promises and It's Under the Blood (with a special solo from Gary's Dukes of Hazzard ringtone).

Gary tells us that he's been reading his Bible, thinking and praying all day, and he thinks he knows what God wants him to say, and then . . . delivers a message he's done over and over (I'm trying to get in the habit of noting the stuff we've heard a million times under a spoiler, so those in the know about Gary can skip it if they want, and newcomers will at least get a taste of the redundancy):
 

Spoiler

 

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=luke+16%3A19-44&version=KJV

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs+29%3A18&version=KJV

Lazarus (excuse me - Lazareth) and the rich man. He can never get the rich man's request for a drop of water from Lazarus's fingertip to come out of his mouth correctly. Then Proverbs. There are a bunch of other readings for this message, as well.

Two kinds of people need to hear about Hell, the saved and the lost, and nobody preaches it any more, except Gary. Jesus preached more on Hell than Heaven, salvation is personal, old rugged cross. JOOlah the 11th, 1999, Open Door Baptist Church, Sandhill Road. There's no hope in the Pope 'cause the Pope is full of dope, He's not saying who he's preaching to, he don't look at faces when he says somebody ain't saved, we're in the last days, the tadpoles know his SSN, get rid of religion and get saved, yo-yo Christians, Estus Pirkles' Hell movie. Gary's "Due to the fire, the party's been cancelled" bumper sticker (BTW, he never says "the party in Hell,", just "the party"). Carl Lackey, J. Howard Smith and the girl who would not be saved and died in a car crash right after the meeting, he won't preach at his children's funerals if  he doubts they are saved,  his wife's family member is not riding with Burt Reynolds, Gary gave up on Elvis, he's not sure Lot is saved since he hung out with sodomites,  you got to be worshed in Jesus' blood, covered in Jesus' blood, you better make sure you're saved, because you will never get out of the lake of fahhhr, the Supreme Court lady and the babies she murdered, people are dying, "ah'm not lookin' for the undertaker, ah'm lookin' for the upper-taker," what are you doing to godbother people wherever you go.

 

Gary says that Catholics will do this (he's imagining his right hand is on a casket), and think they're praying you into Heaven:

Spoiler

To illustrate "by their fruits," he says there's an apple tree in the yard, and it would be funny if there was peaches on it. Somebody says "it's gone," and they all get a chuckle at how traveling Gary doesn't even know that the apple tree is gone. What a laugh riot.

Gary reminds us that old time preachers could walk into a hospital and know which dying people were going to Hell and which to Heaven (what? you didn't know that? If the person was screaming that their feet were on fire, that was a dead giveaway - Gary does a shrieking demonstration). Carl Lackey told this story: "Sonny _______ (unintelligible)'s grandmother dahd, and Sonny come 'n' told Brother Lackey, he said 'HEY! MAH MAH MAH  GRANDMOTHER JEST DAHD!' 'n' he said 'Well, son, they all gotta dah,' 'n' he said 'NO, YOU DON'T UNNERSTAND, WHEN AH WOWLKED IN, SHE WAS SCREAMING HELP ME!!!! HELP MEEE!!!!  HELP MEEEEEEEEE!!!!'  Y'say would anybody help 'er? Nope - it was too late."

"AH'VE KNOCKED ON DOORS IN ___________" (insert name of a state, repeat with another state - I think it was five or six times.

He tells a story of Tony Hudson being asked to take a bottle to a woman's daughter in prison. The guard warns him that she will curse and refuse to see him, and she does. Before he leaves, he gives her the bottle and says it's the tears her mother has shed for her, and she immediately asks him to stay and preach to her.

Sure, Jan.

Don't tell Gary you don't know nobody who needs savin'. "Maybe you be lahk Joe Bahden, 'n'you hide in your basement, ah don' know."

"You know what you need to do at Walmarts? You need to have the guts to invite the cash register to church."

OK, that one got me giggling.

Now I'm picturing someone sitting in a pew with a cash register, encouraging it to go up to the altar to get saved, asking it to volunteer to serve on the church finance committee . . .

[Dana723]

19 hours ago, thoughtful said:

His nekkidness belongs to his wife, and nobody else.

 

Thank God

[Ozlsn]

1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

I am seeing a pattern in these home church services - the Hawkins and Wells families seem to use them to get their digs in about other family members' behaviors. It's like a room full of pre-teens, burning and dissing and smirking, when it's not a guilt-fest and screaming faith-orgy.

So totally "Christian" of them.

1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

SHE WAS SCREAMING HELP ME!!!! HELP MEEE!!!!  HELP MEEEEEEEEE!!!!'  Y'say would anybody help 'er? Nope - it was too late."

Nice of them to try, sheesh. 

I love how a lack of pain relief seems to translate to "Going to Hell" in their tiny minds. 

1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

You know what you need to do at Walmarts? You need to have the guts to invite the cash register to church."

I really want someone to FB live that one. 

1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

Gary tells us that he's been reading his Bible, thinking and praying all day, and he thinks he knows what God wants him to say,

Again, I'm dubious that Gary has done anything but hide from doing anything useful around the house. Hey Gary - you can wash dishes, think and pray at the same time you know!!

[AmazonGrace]

I'll believe he could wash dishes and pray. I am not convinced about thinking.

[Fruitcake]

Haymen?

Ok folks. Back to G-haw lurkdom and contributing nothing of value...just like Gary himself. 

[AmazonGrace]

Jesus, nobody wants to see your ween.

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

OK Folks it looks like the good Bro is going on the road BY HIMSELF!

Spoiler

No Jacob to fetch  water and do the grunt work.  No Becky to kiss his ass and wait on him hand and foot.  Get ready for a lot of complaining.

[thoughtful]

7 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

Jesus, nobody wants to see your ween.

If you're ready willing 'n' able, stand for the readin' of the word. The Bahble says:

And, lo, the poster named thoughtful did say unto them, forget ye not Rule #34. And they recoiled, and did flee. And a great nausea did overtake the Bro Gary thread.

And she spake again, and said: Be ye thankful I did not post examples, neither screenshot nor link, nor anything pertaining to porn.

Haymayun!

 

[thoughtful]

1 hour ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

OK Folks it looks like the good Bro is going on the road BY HIMSELF!

  Reveal hidden contents

No Jacob to fetch  water and do the grunt work.  No Becky to kiss his ass and wait on him hand and foot.  Get ready for a lot of complaining.

Oh, no! How will he survive? Gary has said he actually gets frightened when driving alone. No calming company, no servants, no buffer between his insults and others, nobody to pipe up with words and facts he can't retrieve.

I hope he doesn't attempt to sing solo and a cappela at any churches! I also hope he refrains from live videos while driving, but fear he will go to the opposite extreme, and be live on Facebook the entire time he is on the road.

Thinking about recent posts on the JillRod thread, I'm thinking back on the people I have known with a narcissistic streak. None were so afraid of being alone that they literally wouldn't go anywhere by themselves, or asked people to keep them company in the bathroom. But they all definitely needed a large posse, and people around them most of the time.

I always chalked it up to needing a large number of people who weren't on to them yet to be "on their side" (everything was perceived as "us vs. them," "I'm so persecuted," etc.), and being able to work the smoke and mirrors better if there was lots of activity in their social lives.

But maybe some of them actually had a fear of being alone.

[Ozlsn]

1 minute ago, thoughtful said:

But maybe some of them actually had a fear of being alone.

I've been watching a lot of videos on narcissism recently, and I do wonder if some of it is to reinforce their sense of self - alone gives them too much time to acknowledge the emptiness and the knowledge that something is missing. Reflecting their mask and keeping a lot of sensory input going distracts them.

Add in the fundie fear that they're not truly saved to the emptiness.. and I would be afraid to be alone too.

[thoughtful]

The final night of the ⛺ revival started with singing No, Not One.

Same dull reading of prayers, reluctant acknowledgment of children, and moos of "Anybody else?" as ever. Gary asks prayers for himself as he travels. Becky asks prayers for a cousin who has cancer, and mentions that her husband (the cousin's, not Becky's!) shaved his head in support.

They ask prayers for someone named Danny who has a collapsed lung due to coronavirus - Josh seems to know about him, and a woman's voice says "he's one of our co-workers," so I wonder if this is the person who works for the school system.

The members of New Salem come up to sing. - they're a family music ministry (what a surprise!). They don't look happy.

Spoiler

I think they are, from R to L in the picture, husband, wife, wife's mom, son.

The woman at the lectern says they were given requests for songs they haven't sung in a long, long time, years, and they're going to start with those "tryin' to center on you tonight." She says that they should sing along, because they might need some help.

They sing I Know the Master of the Wind,  dad preaches a bit, then they sing Wonderful Peace. The woman says that watching the news or "the Facebook" has been depressing and made her heart pound, then she thinks of this song - they sing The Shadow of His Wings, with an introduction of the refrain from His Eye is on the Sparrow, then go right into Jesus Help Me to Stand.

She tells us how her mama used to sing the song God Put a Rainbow in the Cloud when she was a child, and she and her mom make lame jokes about how that was or wasn't a long time ago. "But recently, we know people have changed the meaning of the rainbow, but, it hasn't changed." Yells of "amen" "c'mon", "sure," and "yeah" drown out a lot of the rest of this, but I think she says: "It's in the word of God, and it's our rainbow that God gave us. So each time we sing about it, we want to tell people about God's rainbow - the real one."

Dad chimes in: "Y'know, when you think about it, if Satan tries to steal anything God has, he has to change it in some way to fit his own agenda. They leave out the most important color of the rainbow to have it their way."

They left out the most important color? Who is your God, New Salem dad, Roy G. Biv? The real history, assuming Britannica doesn't have some deep dark hidden motive, is here:

https://www.britannica.com/story/how-did-the-rainbow-flag-become-a-symbol-of-lgbt-pride

He goes on: "Well, one of these days, they're gonna have it their way. I pray that, uh - I pray that this country will turn around. I pray that the people in this country would come to their senses and realize that God is God." More preachy stuff follows, but no answer as to why he's so pissed off about indigo.

After the once-positive, now-hateful rainbow song, they sing He Will Carry You.

As their last note is fading away, Gary jumps up, already talking:

Spoiler

"OK, 'f you don't mahnd, we're gonna take up an offering, you kin play through this next one raht quick like, wouldn't be a Baptist church if we didn't take up an offering, amen, and so, uh . . " he calls some of the boys and young men up to take the plates and say a prayer.

New Salem sings I'll Fly Away, while the congregation yells and claps (on the beat, not the off-beat, as God intended).

They are very good, and know how to actually harmonize, play their instruments, be expressive, and make that gospel sound without being out-of-tune, forcing, or droning too low for their range. Shame about the hateful, self-righteous minds behind those musical skills.

Daddy Danny comes up and makes jokes about how cold it is. He goes on: "Ah drove a bus for the first tahm today, bus drahver, I guess in about five or six months._____ (mumble) went in around eleven o'clock, drove around a little, a want all of ya that voted, if ya hadn't, awana tell ya, I got to thinkin' about that, now today was a good day - we drove around and acted lahk we picked up kids, and didn't pick none up. Ah mean, it's a fun, good job, like 'at, amen!"

Let's see if I can interpret. Danny drives a school bus. Today was the first day he had to be back to work, due to Covid-19 restrictions. He started to go on to election stuff, but then realized he forgot his bus driving joke, and went back for it. I assume some parents are still scared to send kids back, so there were very few kids. Danny likes the job better without any kids. Hahaha.

Then he goes on to voting, saying he won't tell them how to vote, "just vote for the Republican of your choice." Big yells and laughs, and Danny warns us that the Democrats getting in again will mean the end of the world as they know it.

Gene Gouge is the guest preacher. I think he needs his own post.

[Black Aliss]

I wonder if Becky and Jacob aren't going on this next road trip because Becky has medical procedures coming up. It should come as a surprise to no one if Gary hits the road and leaves Becky to deal with that sort of thing on her own. Just like Danny seems to have no effs to give about his wife dealing with kidney failure.

[thoughtful]

Gene Gouge is the guest preacher. I know Gary admires him, and has taken a lot of ideas  and schtick from him.

He starts with more weather jokes, then warns them that, when he preaches, "I challenge you, I charge you." Gary says "yes!" 

He gets right to politics, asking if they've seen Trump Card, the Dinesh D'souza film.

He tells them how we are in danger of losing our country, and he's trying his best to prevent that. "I've done everything that I can do but git my magnum 'n' go out some shootin'."

A woman yells "There ya go!"

Then he complains that he's been threatened, cursed at, and called names, and is afraid for he safety of his family.

Well, Gene, this liberal heathen doesn't have a magnum. Nor do I have a rifle, bow and arrow, or any other weapon -  even my kitchen knives are dull. I think you're more of a threat, Brother Gouge.

"I've rebuked, openly, television, radio, these _____ (Gary yells HAYMUN, so I miss a word - sounds like "sodding," but that seems unlikely), good-for-nothing, low-down, cowardly, spineless, gutless creatures and pastors, stick their head in the sand - 'everything's gonna be OK. It really doesn't matter who wins.' Yeah, it does matter. "

Gary is one of the people yelling assent to this. I guess he's forgotten that he does the "whoever wins, God is still in control" message.

Gouge says "We're up here in Andy Griffin land."

Why can't any of these guys remember that it's "Griffith?"

He says the Democrat party "of JFK and Andy Griffin" doesn't exist any more, and he's not voting for a person, he's voting against a party. Loud yells of assent for this.

"If mah Mom was running for the county dogcatcher on the Democrat ticket, ah'd vote aginst her."

He's voting against Communism, Socialism, Marxism, abortion, the homosexual agenda. "Ah'm voting Christ-like!"

Spoiler

"Leshuh - eleshuh day is November the 3rd - if you're votin' Republican. It's November the 4th if you're voting Democrat." This actually gets a loud, surprised-sounding laugh.

I have never envied these fundie idiots for anything important, but every now and then I'd like to have an audience that easy.

After they regain their composure, a woman says "Sad thing is, they'll probably count 'em on November 4th."

After this hilarity,  Gouge finally gets around to God and Jesus. Remember them?

He tells us his message: "Ah wanna preach, just for a little while, on the subject of true worship - True Worship. Do you know that, if you are messed up in your worship, you'll be messed up in everything?"

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+4%3A22-24&version=KJV

He asks someone to pray, and prays loudly over him. I can't even hear if Gary is moaning.

He quickly gets into rhythmic, chanting preacher mode and full volume, and his accent gets more Southern. He screams about various Biblical figures who fell away from the faith. He's very fast and very loud, and there are lots of lists and repetition  - Gary only wishes he could preach like this.

He makes fun of contemporary churches, dancing lightly across the stage:

Spoiler

 

They are hysterical at this.

He mentions Job, and Gary is in heaven. Gouge is less forgiving of Job's wife than Gary is, though.

I'm not going to bother with caps or bold font. Just imagine everything in quotes below, until otherwise noted, as being screamed, really screamed,  louder and more high-pitched than any sound you have ever heard out of Gary, or possibly out of raptors with microphones. And they are shouting and screaming and moaning right back at him.

"Ain't no God lahk our God. Ah said ain't no God lahk our God! Ah ain't talking 'bout the God of the Muslims, ah ain't talkin' 'bout Allah, I'm not talkin' about the God of the Hindus, I'm not talkin' about an elephant, over there in India, oxen runnin' around with little trinkets hangin' from his horn, I'm not talkin' about a totem pole on an Indian reservation, I'm not talkin' about a fat Buddha, skinny Buddha, cryin' Buddha or a happy Buddha. You know they got all of 'em, dontcha? Ah seen 'em, ah been over there 'n' seen 'em."

He does a long screaming sequence about how he knows Jesus was no ordinary man (listing lots of the pre-crucifixion tortures and spitting), how their God is the only true God, about coronavirus (guess what? It doesn't scare him because, if he dies, he'll go to heaven, and most of it is politically motivated, and that gets him back to politics). There is a lot of rhyming and alliteration, also running around, jumping, and arm-waving.

Gene was saved on "June the 26th, 1975." Unlike Gary, he does not give us the church's name and address.

After about 20 minutes of this orgasmic, entirely performative experience, he has the nerve to shriek: "Ah'm so tahred of this carnal, fleshly, entertained generation of Christianity ah cain't stand it."

He mentions the book of martyrs, and describes some more tortures. Again, Gary is so happy.

He screams for a while about how you can't worship God without the Holy Ghost and a lot of shouting, but none of that speaking in tongues or falling to the ground with women's skirts riding up above their thighs.

He gets a bit quieter to assure them that "during this Covid, whatever ya call it, this chahnese vahris," his church has kept the doors open and "the lightses on." He says "why waste a good crisis?" and proudly tells them they have speakers, and are "blasting the whole neighborhood out."

He says his son got a text, during a service (I think someone else was up and preaching at the moment, and they were in the pew), and he asked him what it said (apparently it's OK to have your phone, check your text messages, and show them to your father during church, as long as it makes a good story). Someone had texted to tell him that a man and his son, who were fishing a mile and half away, were listening to the service. He got up to tell everyone about this, and a man jumped up in the back, waving his arms and yelling "I'm that man!"

Sure, Jan.

Then he says they have an FM band, so maybe they're not creating as much a disturbance as he initially seemed so proud of. But then, this guy could probably be unbroadcast and unmiked and still break noise ordinances (and possibly eardrums).

As if he hasn't beaten the crap out of irony enough for one night, he says "You know what keeps us from fallin' inta fanaticism?"

Too late, Gene.

Anyway, the answer is, of course, the KJV 1611 one and only true Bible.

It also keeps them from becoming a modern praise church. He mocks the dancing again, and this time plays some air guitar, while screeching like a bad electric guitar solo:

Spoiler

 

Back to full force. If a TV preacher told you that the Holy Ghost will lead you past the Bible "he's a lyin', egg-suckin' hound dog!"

He shrieks about the sins of his youth still haunting him to this day.

He decided to go to church when his wife said she was pregnant with their first child, and says, more quietly and reverently "Ah got in  mah - ah had an ol' 1965 Pontiac GTO, muscle car, one of the fastest cars in McDowell County, ah mean, ah had air shocks on that thang before black folks knew what air shocks was."

He goes on about this car, lovingly and in great detail, and finally tells us he drove it to the grill where he used to hang out, and told his old buddies he was not coming there any more, he was going to straighten up and go to church.

Back to full volume, as he imitates them shrieking with laughter at him:

Spoiler

 

Two years later he stopped by there again, now in a big blue panel van with "Prepare to meet God" written on the back, and passed out tracts to them.

And again I  say, sure, Jan.

The church where he was saved got into the whole electric-guitar and speaking in tongues thing, and women falling down and needing someone to cover up their thighs, nekkidness. Now they don't have anybody going there any more.

They don't need little idols and statues and candles to worship God.

"Ah'd vote for hermit the frog before ah'd vote for Roy Cooper."

Does Mountain Dew cause hearing loss, or do these guys all mispronounce names on purpose, thinking it makes them sound folksy?

He screams about Cooper's veto of the "born alive" bill, a bill which was pretty much a political stunt, not a needed law. After shrieking that now, because of Cooper "the doctors have to stand there, and watch that baby die!" he gets quieter, says "Don't tell me you're a Christian ________ (drowned out by yells)" and actually spits on the floor. 

Spoiler

It sounds like he says "piss me off" several times, among all of the yells and laughs.

He says they had a billboard that said "Governor Roy Cooper, quit persecuting churches and Christians." He stumbles through some partial sentences about how it made the media, then says (actually speaking, not screaming, but I don't know who he is talking about): "Ah've always listened to men cuss, but God help me, some of these women put men to shame. There's nothin' more vile than a cussin' foul-mouthed woman."

Says the man who just spat on the floor during a church service and lost control because the Governor pisses him off.

Still quiet: "If Bahden and Chameleon Harris, that's a lizard, Cooper, Cal Cunningham, ah mean that crowd win the Whaht House, the House and the Senate, they're comin' for our churches. They've got the taste of blood."

Lots of shouting from Gary and his family for all of this, of course.

He's getting quieter, and quieter, winding down post-coitally. He scornfully imitates the majority of Christians meekly saying "We gotta obey the law." He doesn't understand that. "Sometahm's ah'm just as confused as a termite in a wooden yo-yo from China."

He puts even more "knows" into his "do you know that you know that you know . . . that you're saved" than Gary - I counted seven.

He demonstrates "real, Biblical worship:"

Spoiler

So dancing with arms up is performance and entertainment, and not worship, but kneeling, face down and arms up (he describes it as he does it, so it's clear to him that the physical position is important) is real Biblical worship.

Got it.

It's important to know God, to have a personal relationship with Jesus. He knows God, and he knows about Donald Trump. He's been to a rally. He's votin' for him. He has a bumper sticker, but he warns them that, if they do, they should take them off on November the 3rd - "you won't have a car left."

Anyway, someone saw his bumper sticker and said "'You votin' for that man?' Ah said 'Is there a choice? I ain't gonna vote for a Communist.'"

He remembers to throw in a few words about Jesus and God at the end. It's not enough to know about God, you need to know Him.

Pardon my foul mouth, Gene, but I think you know fuck-all about God, Trump, or basic decency.

Edited November 1, 2020 by thoughtful
clarity

[thoughtful]

3 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

I wonder if Becky and Jacob aren't going on this next road trip because Becky has medical procedures coming up. It should come as a surprise to no one if Gary hits the road and leaves Becky to deal with that sort of thing on her own.

I agree. I pretty much assumed that's why she's staying put. And of course he still goes on to yell at people in Ohio.

Library? Marion? Now there's a song cue!

I wonder if Becky is happy that Gary won't be underfoot during whatever she's going through. He doesn't seem like the type that would be much help.

 

[Ozlsn]

4 hours ago, thoughtful said:

He's voting against Communism, Socialism, Marxism, abortion, the homosexual agenda. "Ah'm voting Christ-like!"

Yeah if there's one thing Christ was noted for it was celebrating hypocrisy. 

4 hours ago, thoughtful said:

As if he hasn't beaten the crap out of irony enough for one night, he says "You know what keeps us from fallin' inta fanaticism?"

Too late, Gene.

Anyway, the answer is, of course, the KJV 1611 one and only true Bible.

Do they do bulk deals for irony meters? This year has been hard on them.

4 hours ago, thoughtful said:

kneeling, face down and arms up (he describes it as he does it, so it's clear to him that the physical position is important) is real Biblical worship.

And I'm amused to see how close this is to Islam. Heh.

 

[Xan]

Thanks for the recap, @thoughtful!  Yeah, Gene Gouge is a piece of work.  He's made both local and national news with his "this virus ain't real" routine.  I think he's just another ignorant yahoo who thinks his time has finally come to shine.  Oh, Gene... no.  This isn't your time.  If you're reduced to preaching in Bro Gary's tent while standing on a utility trailer, your moment hasn't come.  And he spit on it during his sermon?  Ewwww...

Gene and Gary are what's wrong with this country.  They want to drag everyone backwards.  They want rudeness to be applauded and they're using religion to be spiteful, petty, and bigoted.  I no longer care about courting bad karma.  I want that damned tent to fall on Gary's head.

8 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Library? Marion? Now there's a song cue!

I saw that, too.  Because we've now been exposed to a lot of Weenese, I decided that he meant "Liberty" instead of "Library".  Yep.  He's at Liberty Baptist Church.