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nelliebelle1197

Bro. Gary Hawkins 15: Not Sweet Fellowshipping with JRod - Yet

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Giraffe
On 10/20/2020 at 10:41 PM, Ozlsn said:

He's what, 48?

He’s only 8 years older than me?! Hate preaching has not been kind to him! 🤯

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Xan
8 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Somebody said they have been watching Gary's Facebook live, so Gary knows he is making a difference.

Hey, Gary, I watch your Facebook live, and not only do I not see Jesus through you, I wonder if you know anything at all about Jesus - when he was alive, that is.

 

image.png.e4ff4ceff40d1771511f340c59b88f2d.png

The problem is that he doesn't seem to understand that he alienates more people from religion than he "saves".  Watching Bro Gary has only pushed me farther away from fundamentalism.  He's about as far removed from Jesus' teachings as one can be.  The only person shining through Gary is Gary.

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AmazonGrace

People like Gary are a big part of why I am not religious any more.

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thoughtful

Hey, wanna see Gary actually do some work, pounding in tent stakes? Here ya go:

https://www.facebook.com/Becky1976/videos/10158510804388614

Of course, he also snaps at Jacob, and he's putting up the unnecessary tent to do some some unnecessary screaming at people, so some things never change.

Oh, and we get to see the new ladder.

ETA to add a screen shot, for anyone who doesn't want to watch the video:

image.png.79aea008cf2c90174648a2482c314962.png

Edited by thoughtful

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thoughtful

Gary posted a video last night to show everyone that "we do got the tent up." The Lord allowed them to do it one more time this side of eternity.

So dramatic.

Does David really like Gary's zeal, or is he just trying to show him how to spell "your?"

Spoiler

image.png.ac4141d4c78b5ac051490c345c34b508.png

This morning, under the tent, the video starts with the singing of I Know My Name Is There. Whoever is at the front (a relative of Gary, I assume, since this is the home church - he looks too young to be in Gary's generation - a nephew, perhaps?) waves, someone whistles, and he says he's going to "run through the prayer list real quick."

Spoiler

image.png.49750d174e4c2a9baeb0017b0f9d1829.png

As he's mumbling dully through it (it includes  prayers for Gary's kids to get a good education and serve God, and the news that Gary's mom is on a transplant list, as well as bored-sounding, emotionless reading of names of people who have lost loved ones to death or have cancer, like he was reading a grocery list), we suddenly see this:

Spoiler

image.png.9bd5d49254595fd72bc20160f68a7e98.png

Woah! Hi, Gary's dad! Someone comes in and flips the phone back around.

More prayers, then the choir comes up - hey, they have a choir! They groan and yell their way through Jesus Rescues Me and A Love That Won't Stop, a cappella, then He's Still on the Throne, with guitar and vocal solo from Caleb. Gary, Becky and Jacob join Caleb to try to figure out how to start together and find a tempo (still not succeeding), then  they plow through Standing on the Rock of Ages and moan I Can Trust Jesus.

Gary's dad, Danny, comes up to the front. He thanks the singers, then thanks the Sunday school teachers for making exit signs. Really, Danny? They're six bucks at Home Depot.

"Ah lahk t'go bah the law if ah can, and man, when it don't cost much, so we got the fahr extinguisher, and ya gotta trah t'understand, you all know how many tents you've heard of burnin' down over the years."

He goes on to tell us about all of the laws he's had to comply with over the years, including taking a test to get certified to dig a well. The test, and the book to study for it were, of course, made up by people who'd never dug a well, so "it ain't worth two cents."

 I guess the scorning-book-larning apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Spoiler

image.png.4e9f3ae12027ce7f36145e020f12edac.png

 

See the fire extinguisher? I love the almost-symmetrical display of KFC buckets, offering trays, and . . . um . . . magician's half-flattened top hats? . . . bowtie displays? . . .  combination Hellween  hat/Easter bonnets? :confusion-shrug:

Danny doesn't know how he got off on that tangent. Good - I'm looking forward to hearing some clear, on-point preaching.

"Let's put some politics in there! Thank God for a president who's gettin' rid o' some of, ah asked 'em if they could ever get down to the counties, they said well prob'ly not, but uh, heheheh, be good it if did. Thinkin' about they gon' build a tower down there 'n' the way ah count that thing, tin thousand dollars, ah'm hopin' we could git bah with eight, somewhere between eight and tin thousand dollars, it would be better, much much better, all way aroun', if ah could take a scratch, strike a match, and ah could burn that money, and 'at'd be the end of it. But ah gotta give 'em that money for them to come and pester me, while we build a tower, what ah'd like to do is build it where it'd stay up. And uh, ah, but if ah git on that we won't be worth anything this mornin' ah but you know, ah told him when we went over it, and ah told - heheh - he got mad. Ah said ah will ah just money 'n' all this ah'm spending, it's not goin' over a tower. Well, he made it plain, you gotta do all that, yes sir. Yes sir, we gotta come out 'n' check to see if there's a Injun graveyard around there. Ah kin tell 'em already there's not, and if it was, they wouldn't know how to - what to do about it. But ah gotta give, whatta they say, oh, about a thousand dollars there if ah'm lucky. Isaiah, chapter 1 and verse 18. Isaiah, chapter 1, verse 18. Ah do think today, ah wonder, how many more towers that we could have up today, reachin' out and givin' the Gospel in how many places, if it wadn't for laws like this. . . .

Spoiler

Come now, let us reason together . . . "

:laughing-rolling:

Yes, that is the Bible verse he begins after this e.e. cummings-and-Gertrude-Stein-had-a-baby ramble.

I may have misinterpreted a few words here and there, but that is what he said, with barely a pause, without prelude  or explanation, and going right into announcing the verse, complaining about the laws around putting up a tower, then reading the verse.

Again, we know what tree the Gary-apple came from!

Danny, I'm pretty sure, from your last statement, that you are talking about a radio tower, but I think you're more suited to the tower of Babel.

How does this family communicate with one another? I'm imagining 5 minute rambling discourses of fragmented half-sentences to communicate "please put toilet paper on the shopping list" or "have you seen  my car keys?" How do they get anything done?

Anyway, here's the rest of the verse, not that it has anything to do with what he says next.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah+1%3A18&version=KJV

Danny's preaching is much like Gary's - dropping names of old-time preachers, frying in Hell (like sausage) for eternity, wanting God to meet with them, we're living in the last days, old rugged cross, torture, KJV is perfect, etc.

He says his grandfather used to call their county the most backward county in the USA, and now Danny thinks it's a little too far forward.

Back in them days, he pretended a tobacco stick was a hobby horse and "rode" it, and slid down a hill on a pasteboard box sled - never had a store-bought sled, of course. Much more fun than all them electrical things the kids have now.

He tells us that Jesus went to Hell for us, and took our place, and he don't care if that harelips a lot of people (he also checks to make sure he's not getting too deep for us).

"We're raht at the blink of a presidential election, and if it goes the wrong way, oh mah God, one o' these days if we - it could be this, but then was to happen, ah mean it won't be long until ah wouldn't be able to stand up here and preach. We'd have to be in caves, 'n' lahk it used to be."

"More 'n' more pleasures comin' in the world, more 'n' more riots - have you ever heard the like? Ah mean EHHverybody's got the equal rights now. Ah mean, heheh ah heard a preacher say the other day, you know the barrr* he's got more rahts than we have, the animals, y'all know what ah'm talkin' about, they gotta have their rahts, 'n' EHHhverybody's gotta have their rahts. Anybody when they get rights they have to take it from somthin' 'n' somebody's losin' rahts for thim to git rahts."

*bear

You'd better get saved, because today could be your last day, or even everyone's last day. We're right at the blink!

Edited by thoughtful
clarity
  • WTF 1
  • Haha 2
  • Thank You 1

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CTRLZero

Wow, proto-Weenese!  It’s really baffling how he manages to hang onto a congregation.  Unless...do they all speak like that?  What’s the tower?  A cell tower so their babble broadcast can reach the masses?  

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Black Aliss
37 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

 I guess the scorning-book-larning apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

 

Quote

As he's mumbling dully through it (it includes  prayers for Gary's kids to get a good education 

Oh, that's something even the most stone-cold atheist among us prays for.

Quote

 

"Let's put some politics in there! Thank God for a president who's gettin' rid o' some of, ah asked 'em if they could ever get down to the counties, they said well prob'ly not, but uh, heheheh, be good it if did. Thinkin' about they gon' build a tower down there 'n' the way ah count that thing, tin thousand dollars, ah'm hopin' we could git bah with eight, somewhere between eight and tin thousand dollars, it would be better, much much better, all way aroun', if ah could take a scratch, strike a match, and ah could burn that money, and 'at'd be the end of it. But ah gotta give 'em that money for them to come and pester me, while we build a tower, what ah'd like to do is build it where it'd stay up. And uh, ah, but if ah git on that we won't be worth anything this mornin' ah but you know, ah told him when we went over it, and ah told - heheh - he got mad. Ah said ah will ah just money 'n' all this ah'm spending, it's not goin' over a tower. Well, he made it plain, you gotta do all that, yes sir. Yes sir, we gotta come out 'n' check to see if there's a Injun graveyard around there. Ah kin tell 'em already there's not, and if it was, they wouldn't know how to - what to do about it. But ah gotta give, whatta they say, oh, about a thousand dollars there if ah'm lucky. Isaiah, chapter 1 and verse 18. Isaiah, chapter 1, verse 18. Ah do think today, ah wonder, how many more towers that we could have up today, reachin' out and givin' the Gospel in how many places, if it wadn't for laws like this. . . .

I may have misinterpreted a few words here and there, but that is what he said, with barely a pause, without prelude  or explanation, and going right into announcing the verse, complaining about the laws around putting up a tower, then reading the verse.

Again, we know what tree the Gary-apple came from!

Danny, I'm pretty sure, from your last statement, that you are talking about a radio tower, but I think you're more suited to the tower of Babel.

 

That was more argle-bargle than I think we've even heard from Gary and that's saying a lot. I gather he was hoping the Trump campaign would come to his town? And something about a tower?

Quote

He says his grandfather used to call their county the most backward county in the USA, and now Danny thinks it's a little too far forward.

Nope. If there's a more backward county in the USA I do not want to know about it.

Quote

He tells us that Jesus went to Hell for us, and took our place, and he don't care if that harelips a lot of people (he also checks to make sure he's not getting too deep for us).

What was that about people with cleft palates? He kind of lost me on that one.

Quote

"We're raht at the blink of a presidential election, and if it goes the wrong way, oh mah God, one o' these days if we - it could be this, but then was to happen, ah mean it won't be long until ah wouldn't be able to stand up here and preach. We'd have to be in caves, 'n' lahk it used to be."

Finally,something he and I agree on. But maybe with a different kind of wrong way.

Quote

"More 'n' more pleasures comin' in the world, more 'n' more riots - have you ever heard the like? Ah mean EHHverybody's got the equal rights now. Ah mean, heheh ah heard a preacher say the other day, you know the barrr* he's got more rahts than we have, the animals, y'all know what ah'm talkin' about, they gotta have their rahts, 'n' EHHhverybody's gotta have their rahts. Anybody when they get rights they have to take it from somthin' 'n' somebody's losin' rahts for thim to git rahts."

That Is Not How It Works! There are not rahts police that come to your door, Danny, and take away one of your rahts so same-sex couples can marry, or so black people can go to bed at night without fearing that the police are going to kick in their front door and murder them in cold blood. Danny, you haven't even had to give up your raht to be an ignorant bigot!

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mango_fandango

Obama was President for eight years, and nobody ended up living in caves. Why would anyone think that would happen if Biden became President? 

And no, not everyone has equal rights, you ignorant twerp.

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thoughtful
1 hour ago, CTRLZero said:

proto-Weenese!

I love it!

I'm pretty sure it's a radio tower he wants to build. Danny has a radio station. Imagine that.

https://www.oldpathsradio.com/

29 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

I gather he was hoping the Trump campaign would come to his town? And something about a tower?

I think he wants Trump's disregard of safety and environmental laws to come to his county, so he doesn't have to have exit signs, a fire extinguisher, or follow any laws when building a radio tower.

"I don't care if it harelips______ (the devil, the preacher, the Pop, whoever- usually it's an authority figure and/or an adversary)" is a Southeastern US expression that means someone is determined to do something no matter what the consequences. It has nothing to do with actual cleft palates, and I've never been able to find a source for this weird collection of words - maybe that one will do whatever it is even if it splits the lip of an important person who will then punish you for splitting their lip? :confusion-shrug:

Gary uses it occasionally, which is the reason I know it.

42 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

That Is Not How It Works! There are not rahts police that come to your door, Danny, and take away one of your rahts so same-sex couples can marry, or so black people can go to bed at night without fearing that the police are going to kick in their front door and murder them in cold blood. Danny, you haven't even had to give up your raht to be an ignorant bigot!

Wasn't that just the stupidest rant? It doesn't come as any surprise that Danny and Gary have that zero-sum, Us vs. Them mentality. They'd be so much happier if they could see all of the possible win-win solutions in the world.

44 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

Obama was President for eight years, and nobody ended up living in caves.

I'm pretty sure he meant they'd have to have church in caves - Gary spews this same crap.

And, I'm with you - doesn't anyone ever notice that it never happened under Obama, Clinton, Carter, Johnson, Kennedy . . .

 

1 hour ago, CTRLZero said:

It’s really baffling how he manages to hang onto a congregation

They are all family members.

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