Seewalds 44: Skip the Ads and Jessa Won’t Get Paid!

[SassyPants]

2 hours ago, seashell1025 said:

i know im a little late to the conversation here but im very much questioning whether or not miss jessa is actually pg. it seems her pics again are mostly of the kids or hidden midsections which are usually indicators. but i suppose she could be just trying to keep us guessing as well! 

also it is inevitable... anyone wonder how long theyll live in that house? wonder if theyll ever build on, or just get a new house! ??‍♀️

Depends on what JB decides. He giveth and taketh away.

[Exposedknees]

It's been a rough 24 hours but this birthday photo on Ben's IG made me laugh aloud on this anxious day. The family did its usual "Jessa blessa" post, but Ben decided on this "Rumspringa Aesthetic" ???

[Snarkasarus Rex]

He’s definitely got the hipster youth pastor thing going on ?

[OrchidBlossom]

12 hours ago, Exposedknees said:

It's been a rough 24 hours but this birthday photo on Ben's IG made me laugh aloud on this anxious day. The family did its usual "Jessa blessa" post, but Ben decided on this "Rumspringa Aesthetic" ???

Why are fundies so into hats lately?

[freethemall]

On 10/29/2020 at 12:33 PM, ophelia said:

Not trying to defend Jessa, but I know a lot of non-fundie parents who would never allow their boys a pink bike in fear it might "make him gay" or some other crap. It is so sad and I'm glad that I also know couples who are way more supportive when it comes to overcoming gender roles. "Mommy has pink nails to you want some too? Come here, I'll paint your nails (insert random boy name)".

I agree, the pink/blue thing is so mainstream and gross - I know even my atheist sister and brother-in-law wouldn't get their son anything pink and the dad didn't want to get him a shopping cart toy because he thought it was too "girly". Instead they go on "man dates" to see monster truck shows. I hope if their youngest daughter ever expresses an interest in monster trucks they take her too. Just look at the kids clothing sections at stores though - it's not just colors in designated areas but certain styles and even animals, for instance dinosaurs are usually in the boy section and kittens and llamas are in the girls section. I wish they would just make one kids clothing section in stores without boy/girl labels, but I bet fundies and even non-fundies would lose their shit.

[FluffySnowball]

31 minutes ago, OrchidBlossom said:

Why are fundies so into hats lately?

I discovered my love for hats this year and I’m not kidding you, but I occasionally think of Lauren (Duggar) whenever I wear one. I still like them, so whatever, but... I can’t forget about her and her hat ?

23 minutes ago, freethemall said:

I agree, the pink/blue thing is so mainstream and gross - I know even my atheist sister and brother-in-law wouldn't get their son anything pink and the dad didn't want to get him a shopping cart toy because he thought it was too "girly". Instead they go on "man dates" to see monster truck shows. I hope if their youngest daughter ever expresses an interest in monster trucks they take her too. Just look at the kids clothing sections at stores though - it's not just colors in designated areas but certain styles and even animals, for instance dinosaurs are usually in the boy section and kittens and llamas are in the girls section. I wish they would just make one kids clothing section in stores without boy/girl labels, but I bet fundies and even non-fundies would lose their shit.

You’re absolutely right, it’s sad to see how these gender norms have found their way into mainstream culture.

Aside from different colors and animals, I’ve also observed children’s clothing conveying different messages: girls are the princesses or sweethearts, they have things like “cutie” or “mommy’s little helper” on their shirts. Boys, on the other hand, get “wild” or “pirate” written on their clothes. 

[Meggo]

39 minutes ago, FluffySnowball said:

 

Aside from different colors and animals, I’ve also observed children’s clothing conveying different messages: girls are the princesses or sweethearts, they have things like “cutie” or “mommy’s little helper” on their shirts. Boys, on the other hand, get “wild” or “pirate” written on their clothes. 

YES - this makes me crazy. I saw onesies that were "future princess" and "future president" years before I had my son and it made me SO MAD.

My son has had some clothes with Mommy's little or Daddy's little but - aside from the one that said "Daddy's wingman" (and one that said Mr. Adorable)- they were all things I'd put on either a boy or a girl. Mummy's little Monster (Halloween), Daddy's sidekick. 
My son is heavy into construction stuff (because of Daddy's business - Daddy says he'd absolutely have done the exact same with a girl - take her to the shop, teach her how to run equipment, the names of things etc) and our boy is BIG into cooking (because of me) and crafting (me again) and cleaning (which - honestly is just weird - neither Daddy nor I have quite that love of mopping the boy has!!) 
 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

In regards to Henry & the pink bike, my sisters friend from high school had 3 kids, the youngest, my sister said it was pretty obvious from toddlerhood he was most likely trans, he was very feminine and loved to dress up in his sisters clothes, would say he wanted to be a girl, play with her toys vs his brothers, this couple was very boys are blue girls are pink. Sadly the little guy died shortly after his 10th birthday, mom flipped her shit (as you would expect) but at one point said it was better he was dead than a f*****, my sister cut off contact with her after that, because of this and some other generally hatefully things she said, like hoping my pregnant sister's baby died, so she could understand what she was going through.  Her anger at her son's (unconfirmed) sexuality & death had a profound effect on her other 2 children, because they also don't believe in therapy.

The oldest moved away & is completing her Master's in psychology and will be working as a grief counselor with children, she started therapy as soon as she was 18 & has minimal contact w/ her mom, her dad followed her to be closer to her. The middle child sadly never recovered from the death of his brother & the spiral of his mother and committed suicide last year. This goes to show you how by denying your child his or her sexuality can affect that child and their siblings as well. 

This couple wasn't evangelical, they were lax Catholics so their views had nothing to do with religion just ignorance of facts. 

 

[OrchidBlossom]

3 hours ago, FluffySnowball said:

I discovered my love for hats this year and I’m not kidding you, but I occasionally think of Lauren (Duggar) whenever I wear one. I still like them, so whatever, but... I can’t forget about her and her hat ?

 

Hats are currently very trendy, and probably one of the "safest" ways for a fundie to explore trends. So no hate. But man as a group they've reallyyyy committed to it hard.

[LillyP]

Dare I say Jessa looks rather thin in that photo....especially in the face. Maybe it's just the angle, and she has never been "big" by any means but she definitely looks very slim through the neck and face. 

[ophelia]

Our neighbors have the sweetest little twins (boy and girl) and they just turned three. They wear a lot of handmedowns from older cousins and I just love that it seems like they totally share their wardrobe. I've seen both of them in "girl" and "boys" clothes and I think it is great that their parents don't make a big deal of it.

[Meggo]

I have a friends whose son is maybe... 13 now? (wow that makes me feel old). As a wee little guy he wanted princesses because they were so pretty - so his parents got him princesses and a doll house and the whole nine. It was a very gender neutral doll house (ie - wood, not pink plastic). And he's into sewing and he does great makeup from what I'm told and his whole family and extended family/friends are just like "well, yeah. Bobby's great at makeup." 
No one speculates, no one really cares. It's just one of those endearing little quirks. Bobby is great at make up and loves princesses, another kiddo is into gymnastics and someone else is a whiz at math.

[AussieKrissy]

20 hours ago, Meggo said:

I have a friends whose son is maybe... 13 now? (wow that makes me feel old). As a wee little guy he wanted princesses because they were so pretty - so his parents got him princesses and a doll house and the whole nine. It was a very gender neutral doll house (ie - wood, not pink plastic). And he's into sewing and he does great makeup from what I'm told and his whole family and extended family/friends are just like "well, yeah. Bobby's great at makeup." 
No one speculates, no one really cares. It's just one of those endearing little quirks. Bobby is great at make up and loves princesses, another kiddo is into gymnastics and someone else is a whiz at math.

I want a bobby in my family. I’m a lazy arse he could do my makeup anytime and maybe I would “encourage” an interest in hairstyling too... I’m everyone’s fav Aunty he would love me and I would have lovely makeup for parties lol 

edit to add. When I shop for my daughter I check both the boy and girl section. I buy based on what she will like and wear not the designated gender to it. Her clothes (new) I get are mainly boys only because the vast majority of my hand me downs are girls clothes. They don’t make much Spider-Man and avengers girl stuff and my kid has been obsessed for three years now.  She is also getting a Spider-Man bike for her bday or Christmas she is gunna flip out. 

Edited November 7, 2020 by AussieKrissy

[Mimosa]

On 11/5/2020 at 12:19 PM, FluffySnowball said:

Aside from different colors and animals, I’ve also observed children’s clothing conveying different messages: girls are the princesses or sweethearts, they have things like “cutie” or “mommy’s little helper” on their shirts. Boys, on the other hand, get “wild” or “pirate” written on their clothes. 

I worked in a children’s clothing store and this was rampant. Sayings on little girls clothes always had to do with their looks or how “sweet” they were. Boys was tough, or “ladies man” ?

We once got in a shipment of little Sherpa jackets for babies. The kind with the little teddy bear ears. We got 4 colours, all exactly the same. Navy and camel were tagged for the boy section and pink and white were for girls. I could find no differences in the jackets, but my job was to follow the store plan so I put them in their respective sections. One day, a woman came to me holding the camel coloured jacket asking if we had it for girls as well. I showed her to the display on the girl side of the store and she said “No, I mean this colour. Do you have this colour but for girls?” I tried explaining to her that they were the same jacket but that colour happened to be tagged for boys and it really didn’t matter one way or another. She refused to purchase the jacket because the colour she wanted said BB on the tag. Once you take the tag off from the store, that’s even gone and no one would even know. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

On 11/5/2020 at 12:46 PM, OrchidBlossom said:

Why are fundies so into hats lately?

Oh like Bethy’s hat journey? 
?

[OrchidBlossom]

3 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Oh like Bethy’s hat journey? 
?

Yes! I know hats are popular today but I can't get over how HARD the fundie population has committed to the hat season of life ?

[GuineaPigCourtship]

I was adamant that I would not be putting any kid in stupidly gendered clothing with sayings. Now, a shirt with a bunch of chickens that says "chicks dig me" I might be able to overlook for either sex because I'm obsessed with my chickens, but none of those "my dad says I can't date ever" ones. As if my husband and I would dare presume absolute control over someone else's body, even in jest.

If she's anything like me as a kid, my daughter (due in January) will want to be a princess/fox hybrid who also can fly. They don't have a clothing line for that so I guess we'll play it by ear.

[Idlewild]

4 hours ago, OrchidBlossom said:

Yes! I know hats are popular today but I can't get over how HARD the fundie population has committed to the hat season of life ?

I think it’s a bit like their coffee obsession- they love posting pictures of coffee- most of them are personality vacuums and they think a hat/the fact they drink coffee makes them interesting somehow.

[Glasgowghirl]

A woman I went to school with once posted on Facebook that her daughter had picked a dinosaur t shirt in a shop and when she went to buy it the person at the till said, that it was from the boys section and her reply was I know but don't care my child likes dinosaurs and wanted the t shirt so I'm getting her it. 

I have bought my niece for her birthday before a barbie and a pack of hot wheels because she liked both and had spent hours paying with the cars along with my nephews after she got them. My sister sent her down for her birthday one year a pink Celtic top and her little sister started crying for one too so my brother bought her it and posted a picture of them wearing them on Facebook. A few days later I was in my grandparents house when my aunt made a comment about it saying that it wasn't that appropriate for them to have football stuff at that age, I politely told her it was up to my brother and his fiancée how they raised my nieces and after we left my sister said she is one to talk her daughter had rangers kits growing up. My aunt is old fashioned in her tastes and her nine year old granddaughter is often dressed in outdated looks, just because she won't let her wear stuff she doesn't like on the days she has her. 

 

[justmy2cents]

My daughter loved playing with cars and trucks. She would position the Barbies to watch her play with the cars, pretending they were her audience. That was the extent of her involvement with dolls. I was not opposed to her wearing ’ boy’ clothes but didn’t actively seek them out. In stores the racks are for one sex or the other. If we were somewhere like Costco the clothes are side by side and if she liked a pajama or top intended for boys I would get them for her. I remember a particularly cute pj set with red bottoms and a white top with a picture of a crab on it. No idea why it was only in the boy section. Dinosaur designs were a favorite too, and superheroes.

[LillyP]

13 hours ago, GuineaPigCourtship said:

I was adamant that I would not be putting any kid in stupidly gendered clothing with sayings.

I am insanely picky about my kid's clothing! I absolutely HATE graphic tees with pictures on them or stupid sayings like "mommy's valentine". I admit children's clothing is a bit of a hobby for me, and shopping for my son's stuff is my vice...I spend way too much money on it. We wear a lot of traditional southern stuff - like smocked Jon Jon's, Bubbles, Longalls, etc. It always blows my mind how many people I know love to get on their soapbox on facebook about how clothing/toys shouldn't be for boys only or girls only....and then turn around and give me crap (saying he looks girly) when they'd see my son in a smocked bubble. I get it's not everyone's style but he has his whole life to wear jeans and hoodies he can dress like a sweet little kid for a while. 

I was just on Carter's website the other day to snag some winter play clothes and it's crazy how hard it is to find just simple & neutral stuff. Everything is covered graphics/sayings. H&M is a great store for finding really neutral kids clothing!

[Iamtheway]

The trick to making your kid look neutural is to buy the boyiest boy-clothes and the girliest girl-clothes you can find and then mix them like you’re a blind clown getting dressed. And that is why my kid is the one in a blue button down shirt and leggings with pink leopard-print or blue jeans and superhero-socks and a pink dress with lemons on it. Today it was a cricket team top, blue leggings with flowers and purple socks with My Little Pony. It’s often crazy, but somehow he always pulls it off. 

I’m not the praying kind, but if I was I’d pray he will always feels comfortable dressing exactly the way he wants. 

[medimus]

14 hours ago, LillyP said:

I am insanely picky about my kid's clothing! I absolutely HATE graphic tees with pictures on them or stupid sayings like "mommy's valentine". I admit children's clothing is a bit of a hobby for me, and shopping for my son's stuff is my vice...I spend way too much money on it. We wear a lot of traditional southern stuff - like smocked Jon Jon's, Bubbles, Longalls, etc. It always blows my mind how many people I know love to get on their soapbox on facebook about how clothing/toys shouldn't be for boys only or girls only....and then turn around and give me crap (saying he looks girly) when they'd see my son in a smocked bubble. I get it's not everyone's style but he has his whole life to wear jeans and hoodies he can dress like a sweet little kid for a while. 

I was just on Carter's website the other day to snag some winter play clothes and it's crazy how hard it is to find just simple & neutral stuff. Everything is covered graphics/sayings. H&M is a great store for finding really neutral kids clothing!

What are Jon Jon's Bubbles and longalls?

[mango_fandango]

@GuineaPigCourtship I hate that “overprotective dad never letting his daughter date” trope. It’s gross patriarchal bullshit. 
 

I don’t have kids, so I don’t know what I’d do with regards to toys/clothes. I imagine I’d get stuff from both the boys’ and girls’ sections. 
When I went to nursery school (so 3-4) my mother dressed me in t-shirts and leggings because they were practical, in gender-neutral type colours. I became a bit girlier as I grew older, but not to a massive extent. I never owned any Disney princess dresses or had a pink bedroom or anything. 

[SunnySide]

I was born in the mid 80’s. All girls in my family. I used to use my Tonka trucks to haul my Barbies and their clothes around. I wanted the Barbies because they were pretty. I wanted the Tonka truck I saw at Agway because it looked like my uncles work truck. If anyone made a big deal out of me using what are perceived as “boys” and “girls” toys I don’t remember it.  We look back now and just laugh that I had that much Barbie stuff I had to haul it in a toy dump truck! I wish fundies and everyone else so obsessed with gendering clothing, toys, books etc would just chill a little. There’s so much going on in the world it seems to me a boy playing with a baby doll is really inconsequential at this point.