Dillards 85: Ungodly Swim Suits It's a Cruel Summer

[Four is Enough]

19 hours ago, EmainMacha said:

I always feel a bit unsure when we point out that Jill and Derrick are still connected to a church that has a negative view of homosexuality and doesn't ordain women. I'm a very non-fundie, not very practising Catholic. But I would still identify as Catholic. However I disagree with the church's on both homosexuality and the ordination of women. It's an uncomfortable position but with my upbringing I find it difficult to totally abandon the RC Church. It may be similar for the Dillards. Not at the moment maybe, but down the line.

My friends would make a distinction here between Christianity and Church-ianity. It boils down to me to what does the Church teachings say versus what is the priest saying? I had my first run in with this when I went to college. On a dutiful Sunday, there I was in the church, and during the homily, was instructed to take one of the letters in the end of the pews, fill in my information, and mail this letter to the state and federal officials. It was a form letter against abortion. I left that church that day, and didn't go back.. I do prefer a church which concentrates on the scripture and not the legislation. I can make up my own mind about the legislation, after I've pondered the scripture., thanks.

[SassyPants]

I firmly believe that the biggest and most important impact that Dereck and Jill’s changed behaviors are having, are on the lives of their children, which is a good thing. Real change comes from within and works outward, with those closely related affected first. I will applaud and uphold those personal changes because it means that Jill has broken the cycle. The Dillards are not denying their boys an education, friends or lives outside of their family home, and have stopped forcing the kids to work the family show to support themselves.

[EmainMacha]

@Four is Enough- I've walked out of Mass a few times due to similar things. Once in Ireland when a priest (who was not the sharpest tool in the shed) made it sound like AIDS was easily caught through general person to person contact. My mum was really annoyed. She couldn't believe I would walk out. She expected me to just ignore it.

Did I mention my mum worked in Public Health? Including spreading information about how AIDS was actually transmitted? But hey, priest trumps all those years of medical school.

[Four is Enough]

1 hour ago, EmainMacha said:

Did I mention my mum worked in Public Health? Including spreading information about how AIDS was actually transmitted? But hey, priest trumps all those years of medical school.

You know it, and you know why... Priest. Male.  Which is why there will never be female priests in the Roman Catholic church. Saving all the goodies for themselves.

[just_ordinary]

On 9/14/2020 at 8:47 PM, EmainMacha said:

I always feel a bit unsure when we point out that Jill and Derrick are still connected to a church that has a negative view of homosexuality and doesn't ordain women. I'm a very non-fundie, not very practising Catholic. But I would still identify as Catholic. However I disagree with the church's on both homosexuality and the ordination of women. It's an uncomfortable position but with my upbringing I find it difficult to totally abandon the RC Church. It may be similar for the Dillards. Not at the moment maybe, but down the line.

I think that’s the point. Your mindset isn’t exclusively tied to what the RC church says and I guess you wouldn’t continue going to a church that actively preaches hateful mindsets and actions. In my experience the RC church is against abortion but I have yet to encounter a mess (admittedly as a Protestant I only sit in a RC mess like maybe once every couple of years) that is full of anti-abortion talk. Same for the Protestant church - not even sure what their stance if abortion actually is. But that might be due to how churches adapt to the society and political climate they are in. If you didn’t know, you wouldn’t notice for quiet some time if you visit just the mess.

Being close to one trend of Christianity doesn’t mean you agree with everything. Having a 100% match with something is pretty rare, be it people, political parties, the complete works of an artist... But the Dillard’s made an active choice which church they are visiting.

Edited September 16, 2020 by just_ordinary

[lumpentheologie]

I don’t know if this has been discussed already but Jill is currently following four adoption instagrams. 
 

@sharedbeginnings

@adoptwell

@thecallinnwa

@unorphaned

[Pleiades_06]

2 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

I think that’s the point. Your mindset isn’t exclusively tied to what the RC church says and I guess you wouldn’t continue going to a church that actively preaches hateful mindsets and actions. In my experience the RC church is against abortion but I have yet to encounter a mess (admittedly as a Protestant I only sit in a RC mess like maybe once every couple of years) that is full of anti-abortion talk. Same for the Protestant church - not even sure what their stance if abortion actually is. But that might be due to how churches adapt to the society and political climate they are in. If you didn’t know, you wouldn’t notice for quiet some time if you visit just the mess.

Being close to one trend of Christianity doesn’t mean you agree with everything. Having a 100% match with something is pretty rare, be it people, political parties, the complete works of an artist... But the Dillard’s made an active choice which church they are visiting.

Normally I wouldn’t correct people’s language here but I think you meant “mass” and not “mess”. 

[justmy2cents]

32 minutes ago, lumpentheologie said:

I don’t know if this has been discussed already but Jill is currently following four adoption instagrams. 
 

@sharedbeginnings

@adoptwell

@thecallinnwa

@unorphaned

Jessa talks about adoption but Jill may actually do it.

[Snarkasarus Rex]

32 minutes ago, lumpentheologie said:

I don’t know if this has been discussed already but Jill is currently following four adoption instagrams. 
 

@sharedbeginnings

@adoptwell

@thecallinnwa

@unorphaned

Don’t know about the others, but Shared Beginnings is doing good work. They are working to advocate for Marshallese birth mothers in the adoption process. Adoption in the Marshall Islands is very different, and birth mothers often didn’t understand what adoption meant in the US.  Some agencies were taking advantage of their lack of education and knowledge of adoption law.

[mstee]

On 9/15/2020 at 6:46 AM, mpheels said:

Joy and Austin were dialing down their Counting On appearances well before Annabelle. I think they just aren’t that into it. Austin has an actual job and work ethic, and I suspect those time commitments don’t leave much too to play act every time TLC comes calling. So they go along when the filming focuses on a family activity they would attend regardless, but they pass on the things that don’t fit their schedule. 

They did film a segment planting a tree at Annabelle’s gravesite - Joy and Austin both seemed at ease with it, and based on Joy’s it changing hairstyles, we know they continued filming talking heads for some time after. They are very much a part of the show during the current season. 

I totally missed the news about joy and Austin leaving the show. Was it announced? 

[Forevernotfundie]

They have a new short Q&A on their YouTube channel and they seem so... normal... ?

They drink alcohol, watch The Office, want Israel to have Friends outside the family... 

 

An what stood  out to  me: no hard fundie wife stare... 

Edited September 16, 2020 by Forevernotfundie

[Snarkasarus Rex]

 

15 minutes ago, mstee said:

I totally missed the news about joy and Austin leaving the show. Was it announced? 

They’re not leaving at this time, just appearing less often.  

[sableduck]

https://apple.news/A-yaS8ziETc6zGmUWOJEnHw
 

I can’t tell if this link works or not, but it’s the People article with quotes from Jill on drinking alcohol.

honestly, the whole thing reads like a giant FU to JB.

[justmy2cents]

18 minutes ago, sableduck said:

https://apple.news/A-yaS8ziETc6zGmUWOJEnHw
 

I can’t tell if this link works or not, but it’s the People article with quotes from Jill on drinking alcohol.

honestly, the whole thing reads like a giant FU to JB.

Wow, good for her. She acknowledges that she’s a people pleaser and it’s been a journey for her and Derick to get to a point where they don’t need other’s approval.

[RosyDaisy]

Jill and Derick just uploaded a Q&A video on YouTube :

 

Interesting.  They both decided on public school for Israel, Derick wants to practice public service law.  Jill isn't practicing midwifery.  They drink alcohol occasionally.  They did not discuss their relationship with the rest of the Duggars or Why they left the show.

Edited September 16, 2020 by RosyDaisy

[SassyPants]

I loved all the talk about investing in your kids’ education and giving them the best education possible. I wonder if he had to actually talk to JIll about the fact that her parents did not provide the best education possible? I also loved how DD addressed wanting to help underrepresented people via the justice system. I think DD and Jill are both showing signs of maturation. Counseling has been a good thing. 

[lumpentheologie]

12 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I also loved how DD addressed wanting to help underrepresented people via the justice system.

Unfortunately, I wouldn't be surprised if underrepresented people = fetuses. 

[Giraffe]

It’s easy to speculate that Derrick pointed out Jill didn’t get a good education but Jill herself probably knows her education was lacking. She’s not as insular as she used to be and I’m sure even as a child she probably knew Amy’s education was different (and better) than hers. 

[SassyPants]

They most likely skipped any questions on BC, but based on the views they expressed in that Q and A, I’m betting they are using NFP at the very least, and likely an even more effective preventative. Can you just imagine the conversations?

DD: Today was a rough day (as he cracks open a beer). We’re having burgers for dinner, right?

Jill: Bites her lower lip.

DD: It’s March, when do we need sign Izzy up for Kindergarten? 
Jill: What about homeschooling?

DD: We want the boys to have to the best education, right? I went to PS and I’m doing ok. Look at Josh, and he was homeschooled.
 

DD: It’s called a condom and fits over the penis. It allows you to control when you have children. My parents used them, and I’m sure almost everyone at our Church uses them too. Let’s look at scripture... 

Jill: OK, but can we pray about it?

[HereticHick]

4 minutes ago, lumpentheologie said:

Unfortunately, I wouldn't be surprised if underrepresented people = fetuses. 

Maybe. or maybe not. we'll see.  

[Snarkasarus Rex]

5 minutes ago, lumpentheologie said:

Unfortunately, I wouldn't be surprised if underrepresented people = fetuses. 

Exactly. He’s mentioned several times he wants to ‘help people’, but based on his social media posts, his helping is going to be limited to certain kinds of people. 

Maybe he truly has changed, but there’s no evidence of it.

[Marionette]

I have to say... I’m really proud of Jill. I think the difference between her and Jinger is for one, Jeremy. Jeremy is trying so hard to make he & Jinger seem cool and hip... and palatable. Jill is just doing her thing at this point (now Derick has done a LOT of things I don’t like but... I hate Jeremy because he seems like such a fake). I think she & Jinger are both insecure, but Jinger hides behind Jeremy so much. I understand where a lot of you are wary to say that she’s broken away, but these steps are so big for someone who grew up like Jill did.

I’ve said before in various threads, I grew up in a lot of Duggar-adjacent circles and then became heavily involved with the Duggars/IBLP as a teenager, even went to the Caldwells’ church for a bit. The manipulation and gaslighting is just insane. I remember when Jill got married and started attending Crosschurch, some comments were made about her just using the ESV bible. I’ve lived on my own for 2 years now, and I’m still scared to admit that I’ve had occasional drinks, or I watch or listen to certain shows/music. My dad straight-up told me I was apostate/“running from God” because I left my IFB church to go to a God-forsaken small Southern Baptist church with Christian contemporary worship and non-KJV bible! And women pray/read Scripture in front of the men! That isn’t to say I agree with all of the politics of my church, but I feel like for me it will take a few years and possibly an out-of-state move to really find a church I can agree with on both doctrine and social issues. It’s really so hard to make all of these transitions, and Jill was not one that I thought ever would. 

[viii]

I'm rooting for Jill. It's hard to get where she is, and I'm proud of her for doing the work. 

[LacyMay]

After the most recent article I am cautiously on board the I like Jill train.

I could see myself being friends with Jill while simultaneously wanting to puke and roll my eyes at 70% of the things her husband says. I have friendships like these they work ok. 

[OrchidBlossom]

1 hour ago, RosyDaisy said:

Jill and Derick just uploaded a Q&A video on YouTube :

 

Interesting.  They both decided on public school for Israel, Derick wants to practice public service law.  Jill isn't practicing midwifery.  They drink alcohol occasionally.  They did not discuss their relationship with the rest of the Duggars or Why they left the show.

I saw this and came here immediately to say: 1. If she is watching and enjoying the office that’s a decent sized step for her background, when I combine it with a lot of the other stuff we’ve seen her doing recently. 2. Derrick will not be welcome in most public interest law circles if he still holds the views we think he holds. Source: I am a public interest attorney. 
hopefully his desire to enter public interest signals a change in his underlying views rather than a misunderstanding or narrow view of justice. But I’m skeptical.