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Coconut Flan

Lori Alexander 77: Back in Door County Again

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louisa05

I don’t know why this one, which is typical Lori, sets me off, but it does. 

My husband doesn’t work hard to “provide for ME”. He works hard so WE can have the life WE want.  Marriage isn’t a quid pro quo arrangement where each of us do our part to get something from the other one. That’s the core of the problem with the way evangelicals like Lori preach their gender roles. That mindset creates a situation where partners are just using each other for their own ends. It’s not a relationship anymore. It becomes a contract.  It’s no accident that Lori compares working for an employer to marriage, either.  Because she sees both the same way. 
 

 

Spoiler

E3BA60CB-5533-43FA-81E3-67574ADF7CBD.jpeg

 

Edited by louisa05

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brittbratkittykat
I don’t know why this one, which is typical Lori, sets me off, but it does. 

My husband doesn’t work hard to “provide for ME”. He works hard so WE can have the life WE want.  Marriage isn’t a quid pro quo arrangement where each of us do our part to get something from the other one. That’s the core of the problem with the way evangelicals like Lori preach their gender roles. That mindset creates a situation where partners are just using each other for their own ends. It’s not a relationship anymore. It becomes a contract.  It’s no accident that Lori compares working for an employer to marriage, either.  Because she sees both the same way. 
 
 
Spoiler

E3BA60CB-5533-43FA-81E3-67574ADF7CBD.jpeg.33a87fee644dbc5e5578a8106f41ef28.jpeg

 


Correct. Yes. Lori makes marriage and relationships out to basically be a business arrangement. Now people get married for all sorts of reasons and if you want that type of thing and you are consenting (key word) to that then that’s one thing. Lori is basically saying women should trade sex for the ability to live. I often think I rather have the government take care of me then subscribe to Lori’s idea of marriage.


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teachergirl

and not only, but she removes ALL expectations of the man to do anything around the house, with his kids, etc....

 

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Red Hair, Black Dress

Lori gives Ken 10 minutes and some lube sometimes and Ken for many, many, many years gave/gives her a cushy life in a $1M+ house and all the money she needs to buy woo and organic $14/lb butter and who knows what else she wastes money on.  

Lori thinks her business arrangement is a marriage.  She thinks all marriages should be like that = Sex for Money

Lori doesn't believe any woman is ever a doormat because Lori never was.  She had a nanny and a housekeeper. She wasn't picking towels off the floor, the housekeeper was. Lori wasn't cooking dinner. She was making slimy salads and Ken was cooking for himself and the children.

So to reiterate:  Lori gives Ken 10 minutes and some lube sometimes . Ken gives Lori money and a cushy life = Sex for Money. 

Although if you read between the line Lori wasn't giving any sex during the 25 yeas she was so so so sick,  Lori was getting a everything and Ken was getting nothing.

But... he chose to stay with her so my sympathy for him is .0000000000001%

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SongRed7

She is so predictable. On To Love, Honor and Vacuum (sheila G.) in the last few days, they have been discussing how Created to Be His Helpmeet (and other books) are so bad, it's worth destroying them rather than passing them along.  Great discussion of other equally horrible books ensued.

You knew in no time flat Lori was going to come out and defend her heroes the Pearls and the book CTBHHM which turned Lori into The Transformed Wife that she is.  

The truth is, Lori and the Pearl both espouse women staying with their abusers. 

 

Edited by SongRed7

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louisa05
1 hour ago, brittbratkittykat said:


Correct. Yes. Lori makes marriage and relationships out to basically be a business arrangement. Now people get married for all sorts of reasons and if you want that type of thing and you are consenting (key word) to that then that’s one thing. Lori is basically saying women should trade sex for the ability to live. I often think I rather have the government take care of me then subscribe to Lori’s idea of marriage.


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She’s not the only one sadly. The whole gender roles in marriage teaching is about this kind of quid pro quo contract. Husband does ABC for wife so wife does DEF for husband. If you don’t like cooking just remember that he’s mowing the lawn for you because you cook for him. As God ordained. You pick up his dirty laundry in return for him paying the mortgage. 
In evil Catholic school ( in the most conservative diocese in the US no less) we were taught that 1- marriage is a covenant not a contract and 2-God doesn’t care who does the household chores. 

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Free Jana Duggar

Oh my word ya'll! Lori posted about a woman who stayed with her husband WHO TRIED TO KILL HER!!!  I just can't......

I've been a conservative SBC pastor's wife. Honestly, I don't feel right recommending divorce, but I will always say to get out if you are in danger.  I've told women you can figure out the rest later. Just leave.  

Ideally, one could call the police and have him locked up. That's a gamble now days though because they might lock both of you up, or won't do anything if there are no injuries and then you've really pi$$ed him off.   

 

 

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kpmom
47 minutes ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

Oh my word ya'll! Lori posted about a woman who stayed with her husband WHO TRIED TO KILL HER!!!  I just can't......

I've been a conservative SBC pastor's wife. Honestly, I don't feel right recommending divorce, but I will always say to get out if you are in danger.  I've told women you can figure out the rest later. Just leave.  

Ideally, one could call the police and have him locked up. That's a gamble now days though because they might lock both of you up, or won't do anything if there are no injuries and then you've really pi$$ed him off.   

 

 

Yes.  We just had a double murder in my town.  An ex-husband killed his ex-wife, as well as her sister, after ex-wife got a restraining order.  Very, very sad.  As you say, sometimes that just escalates things.

There is no "winning without a word" with a violent partner.  That's just so dangerous.

Lori has never been in that position (thankfully) and just doesn't have a clue.  Or the capacity to walk in another person's shoes.

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klein_roeschen
20 hours ago, brittbratkittykat said:


Correct. Yes. Lori makes marriage and relationships out to basically be a business arrangement. Now people get married for all sorts of reasons and if you want that type of thing and you are consenting (key word) to that then that’s one thing. Lori is basically saying women should trade sex for the ability to live. I often think I rather have the government take care of me then subscribe to Lori’s idea of marriage.

Lori's idea of marriage isn't even a good business deal for the woman, more like the kind of deal you get from a loan shark.

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FluffySnowball
13 hours ago, kpmom said:

Lori has never been in that position (thankfully) and just doesn't have a clue.  Or the capacity to walk in another person's shoes.

You’re right, Lori doesn’t have a clue!

But her problem isn’t a lack off experience, it’s her stunning, gigantic inability to feel any empathy. Lori only truly cares for one person, and that’s Lori herself. What others might feel doesn’t even cross her mind. 

But you don’t have to go through every crap to understand it is horrible and you need to take care of yourself. People with a brain know that. But apparently, God hasn’t blessed L. with a single brain cell. 

Luckily, I’ve never been in a dangerous relationship, but I’d never think it acceptable to advice women to stay with abusive partners. Just like I don’t need to go through illness to be be in favor of affordable medical care or to live in a war-torn country to understand why people flee. I’m not gay and want lgbtq+ people to have just as many rights as I have. At times, a tiny amount of common sense and empathy can go a long way... 

 

Edited by FluffySnowball

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brittbratkittykat
You’re right, Lori doesn’t have a clue!
But her problem isn’t a lack off experience, it’s her stunning, gigantic inability to feel any empathy. Lori only truly cares for one person, and that’s Lori herself. What others might feel doesn’t even cross her mind. 
But you don’t have to go through every crap to understand it is horrible and you need to take care of yourself. People with a brain know that. But apparently, God hasn’t blessed L. with a single brain cell. 
Luckily, I’ve never been in a dangerous relationship, but I’d never think it acceptable to advice women to stay with abusive partners. Just like I don’t need to go through illness to be be in favor of affordable medical care or to live in a war-torn country to understand why people flee. I’m not gay and want lgbtq+ people to have just as many rights as I have. At times, a tiny amount of common sense and empathy can go a long way... 
 

Yes to the empathy! It’s so funny cause Lori and Ken really try to sell sympathy for Lori and Lori really does play the wo is me but she has no empathy for anyone. It’s like well since I did this this this there is NO reason why any other women alive can’t too! I’ve often wondered that her parents were so involved raising her kids because they knew Lori wasn’t capable. Like left to her own choices I’m not sure she be able to function honestly. I truly believe her family and kids tolerate her for the sake of Ken.
That said I also feel zero sympathy for Ken. It’s hard to feel bad for someone who basically says everyone but us is doing everything wrong. That’s a level of arrogance I have zero patience for


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Free Jana Duggar
1 hour ago, FluffySnowball said:

You’re right, Lori doesn’t have a clue!

But her problem isn’t a lack off experience, it’s her stunning, gigantic inability to feel any empathy. Lori only truly cares for one person, and that’s Lori herself. What others might feel doesn’t even cross her mind. 

But you don’t have to go through every crap to understand it is horrible and you need to take care of yourself. People with a brain know that. But apparently, God hasn’t blessed L. with a single brain cell. 

Luckily, I’ve never been in a dangerous relationship, but I’d never think it acceptable to advice women to stay with abusive partners. Just like I don’t need to go through illness to be be in favor of affordable medical care or to live in a war-torn country to understand why people flee. I’m not gay and want lgbtq+ people to have just as many rights as I have. At times, a tiny amount of common sense and empathy can go a long way... 

 

Same here. I've never been in a dangerous relationship, but I know it's awful. You don't have to actually experience something to have some empathy.  I once heard someone say, "I don't have to jump off a building to know it hurts."  

My family is blessed to have some savings and not struggle with bills and money. I don't buy $14 butter, but I don't have to take a calculator to the grocery store either. Short of a major medical issue, we can handle an emergency, but I live in reality and understand not everyone is like me.  

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SongRed7

OK...Leghumper who most annoys me at the moment:  Margaret Gordon.....she fashions herself as Lori's defender. She sure can whip herself up in a frenzy (see "foolish questions" post on FB.  This isn't the first time she's got herself all worked up in a self-righteous fury at the drop of a hat. 

Reminder me...wasn't she around for some time, then had a falling out with Lori over something then disappeared for a while?  Doesn't she claim to be a physician?  Maybe I'm mixing her up. 

 

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FluffySnowball
On 7/28/2020 at 3:20 PM, Melissa1977 said:

And Erin+Ryan are obviously comfortable with gradma Lori babysitting. 

That!!! That’s what boggles my mind! I understand that even after an abusive childhood, adult children can make different choices as to how they interact (or cease to interact) with their parents. There’s not one answer that suits everyone - some people might want to stay in touch, others might not, and so on.

When it comes to one’s own children, though, there aren’t as many possibly right options! It’s wrong that Ken and Lori’s kids allow their parents to look after their own children without them themselves being present at all times. 

I’d never ever let someone like Lori babysit my (nonexistent) kids. NEVER! 

Edited by FluffySnowball

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usmcmom
1 hour ago, SongRed7 said:

OK...Leghumper who most annoys me at the moment:  Margaret Gordon.....she fashions herself as Lori's defender. She sure can whip herself up in a frenzy (see "foolish questions" post on FB.  This isn't the first time she's got herself all worked up in a self-righteous fury at the drop of a hat. 

Reminder me...wasn't she around for some time, then had a falling out with Lori over something then disappeared for a while?  Doesn't she claim to be a physician?  Maybe I'm mixing her up. 

 

That whole “foolish question” post was just mean. Imagine asking a serious question to a “Christian” blogger and having her label it “foolish” and ridicule you like that. I wonder if that’s how Lori treated her students when she was a “teacher.” We know she likes to ridiculousness her grandkids so small children are not off limits for her.  

1 hour ago, FluffySnowball said:

That!!! That’s what boggles my mind! I understand that even after an abusive childhood, adult children can make different choices as to how they interact (or cease to interact) with their parents. There’s not one answer that suits everyone - some people might want to stay in touch, others might not, and so on.

When it comes to one’s own children, though, there aren’t as many possibly right options! It’s wrong that Ken and Lori’s kids allow their parents to look after their own children without them themselves being present at all times. 

I’d never ever let someone like Lori babysit my (nonexistent) kids. NEVER! 

Especially, as I mentioned above, after she ridiculed Emma for “losing it,” the time she spent the night with Lori and Ken. Not only did she refuse to treat the little girl with any compassion, she took to her blog and humiliated her by letting the world know she’d had a bad day. 
 

I actually stopped following Alyssa because, frankly, she seems like a nitwit when it comes to parenting. The last post I saw was when the baby had just learned to pull up.  He was standing next to a running fan, grabbing things off a nightstand. All I could think of (since this was at Lori’s Door County house) was that he will be getting his hand smacked now because he pulls up and grabs things. 

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