Lori Alexander 77: Back in Door County Again

[TeddyBonkers]

The only "non-negotiable" in our marriage is the Army. That bitch holds sway over all. When Mr. Bonkers had to go down to Texas, we sat down together and made a decision TOGETHER about going as a family or not. It was probably the biggest decision we've had to make so far. 

If I recall my Scripture, one of the hallmarks of a virtuous wife is that the heart of her husband trusts in her. Why do these fundie husbands not trust their wives' judgment or opinions enough to listen to them? Gah, they are so fragile. 

[feministxtian]

33 minutes ago, HoneyBunny said:

This. And its corollary...she never learned to be a giver instead of a taker until she was “spanked” by Debbie Pearl’s book. Really?  Most normal people, even those who are practicing heathens, learn that lesson sometime before they turn 18.  Early 20s at the latest. 

Respect, for others and for yourself. Unmandated respect. This is a concept that is foreign to LazyLori Alexander. 

Umm...my 4 month old granddaughter is pretty good at giving...she'll give you her teething ring...slobber and all, if you hold your hand out. My 8 year old granddaughter is excellent at giving...especially hugs. 

Maybe because I wasn't raised that way and neither were my kids, I find that extreme selfishness to be decidedly abnormal. Either Lazy Lori has some sort of psychiatric issue or her parents didn't raise her right. I can remember teaching my grandchildren to feed the dogs gently when the kids were like maybe a year old. I have a video of me telling my grandson to give the dog the "nummy". BUT...I don't remember "teaching" my kids or grandkids to give instead of take in any formal way. We did things like donate stuff that we weren't going to use or outgrew, were active in helping in the community, and when we had hard times we saw and appreciated those who gave to us. We paid that forward then and still do it now. 

I just don't get it...I really don't get it. 

[KDA]

7 hours ago, TeddyBonkers said:

 

If I recall my Scripture, one of the hallmarks of a virtuous wife is that the heart of her husband trusts in her. Why do these fundie husbands not trust their wives' judgment or opinions enough to listen to them? Gah, they are so fragile. 

I get the impression these fundie husbands truly believe their wives are inferior to men. All men. In every way. They seem to believe that the man being the "head" means everything is on him, he makes all the decisions and controls everyone and the woman is not the head so she can't possibly do any of that stuff.

When I got married someone wrote in our marriage book that "the man is the head but the woman is the neck and where the neck goes, the head must follow." I bet those fundie men would say that me learning to live by that logic is why I am now divorced.

[Sarah92]

There was a tweet going around Twitter where a guy told men to make sure their wives voted the same as them but like not in an asshole way. You couldn’t make them vote like you by being abusive  but you had to make them by...*scratches head and mumbles to self* uh other ways? It wasn’t specified how one can make another human being vote like them without being controlling, belittling, and toxic but apparently there is. 

But imagine thinking so little of your wife that you feel she doesn’t have the intelligence to make an informed decision to vote for who she thought was best. It’s like when white conservatives say Black people only vote for democrats because they’re being bribed by promises for more hand outs. Gross. They might as well say that they think POC can’t make informed decisions. 

[Fallgirl30]

10 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

There was a tweet going around Twitter where a guy told men to make sure their wives voted the same as them but like not in an asshole way. You couldn’t make them vote like you by being abusive  but you had to make them by...*scratches head and mumbles to self* uh other ways? It wasn’t specified how one can make another human being vote like them without being controlling, belittling, and toxic but apparently there is. 

But imagine thinking so little of your wife that you feel she doesn’t have the intelligence to make an informed decision to vote for who she thought was best. It’s like when white conservatives say Black people only vote for democrats because they’re being bribed by promises for more hand outs. Gross. They might as well say that they think POC can’t make informed decisions. 

 I saw that, man the blow back was fierce.  And then after the election Joseph Spurgeon posted that he voted first, took a pic of his completed ballot and then made sure his wife voted like he did.  I mean this display that these guys put on to further patriarchy is funny.

Black Dems say the same thing about black conservatives though, that they are trying to ‘get in with’ or get approval from the whites, or they are Uncle Toms who aren’t thinking for themselves.  Identity politics.  ??‍♀️??‍♀️

Edited November 20, 2020 by Fallgirl30
Typo

[hollyfeller]

Today in things Lori thinks are tweetable...

I seriously can't with this woman.

[FluffySnowball]

13 minutes ago, hollyfeller said:

Today in things Lori thinks are tweetable...

I seriously can't with this woman.

This tweet is kinda funny (if we forget that Lori actually influences some people and her nonsense has actual consequences).

I mean, she doesn’t even bother to answer the guy’s question, she only uses it to spread her message. So in fact, she neither obeyed the man and gave him the information he wanted, nor was she in any other way helpful with her generalized “find a wife who cooks” statement. (Also, I don’t believe Lori could cook tasty fajitas if her life depended in it, but that’s a different matter.) 

[NotQuiteMotY]

54 minutes ago, hollyfeller said:

Today in things Lori thinks are tweetable...

I seriously can't with this woman.

Ooooorrr he could cook them himself!

Seriously. When we got married Mr. NQ worked days and I worked evenings. The number of meals he cooked because he was home first... including fajitas!

I think their marriages must be hellish. The sheer worry that you're living up to some impossible expectations, just to start. Not being able to talk to your partner about important topics or even unimportant ones. Not even actually liking each other!

[feministxtian]

1 hour ago, NotQuiteMotY said:

I think their marriages must be hellish. The sheer worry that you're living up to some impossible expectations, just to start. Not being able to talk to your partner about important topics or even unimportant ones. Not even actually liking each other!

I agree. They set marriage up to be this constant power struggle. For them, love is not necessary. Slot A and Tab B...both Christians...there ya go...perfect marriage!! It eliminates any opportunity for growth and change. Literally same shit different day, day after day "until death do you part". No wonder they all look so damn miserable. Men with their learned helplessness and women with their constant reminder that they are only useful as maids and breeders. What a horrible life!

[smittykins]

1 hour ago, NotQuiteMotY said:

Ooooorrr he could cook them himself!

I’m reminded of the 1960s Folgers commercials with husbands constantly criticizing their wives’ coffee.  Fortunately, the day is saved by Mrs. Olsen.  If my(theoretical)husband hated my coffee that much, I’d tell him to make it his own damn self!
(Also—genuine question—was it really that hard to make in the days before Mr. Coffee?  I don’t drink it, and only made it when I worked at Burger King.)

[feministxtian]

24 minutes ago, smittykins said:

If my(theoretical)husband hated my coffee that much, I’d tell him to make it his own damn self!

Mr Xtian bitched about how I vacuumed ONCE...he did it for the next 20+ years. Same with laundry. If I remember right, the laundry thing started with how I didn't fold my underwear...ball it up, throw it in the drawer. For some reason this drove him bonkers. Next thing ya know, he's doing laundry. Oh and he ALWAYS made the coffee...ALWAYS! I wasn't allowed to touch the coffeemaker! I don't remember why now, though. I think it was more of he liked making the coffee and he liked being the one who would bring me my coffee when I was still in school. Who the hell knows. I haven't made a pot of coffee since he passed away. K cups are all I'll do. 

[Sarah92]

A normal person would be like sure! Let me send you the recipe. Like the poor guy just wanted some fajitas and he was told he needs to get married. And they aren’t rare Lori. Like what world do you live it? 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

18 hours ago, feministxtian said:

women with their constant reminder that they are only useful as maids and breeders

In fundie-world once we are no longer breeders, we are even less useful.

We become merely maids, cooks, housekeepers, laundry women, bathroom scrubbers. the sometimes pump and dump receptacle for all those fundie men who think we are Nothing. And. Worthless. And. Stupid.

No wonder fundie women look miserable. I cannot fathom any woman who willing buys into that mindset.  I cannot fathom Lori or any woman who actively encourages women to believe and live that horrible stifling life.

I wonder if the suicide rate among fundie wives is higher that other groups of women?

Edited November 21, 2020 by Red Hair, Black Dress

[louisa05]

56 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

In fundie-world once we are no longer breeders, we are even less useful.

We become merely maids, cooks, housekeepers, laundry women, bathroom scrubbers. the sometimes pump and dump receptacle for all those fundie men who think we are Nothing. And. Worthless. And. Stupid.

No wonder fundie women look miserable. I cannot fathom any woman who willing buys into that mindset.  I cannot fathom Lori or any woman who actively encourages women to believe and live that horrible stifling life.

I wonder if the suicide rate among fundie wives is higher that other groups of women?

At one time, the eating disorder rate was higher among evangelicals. 

[Jackie3]

18 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

A normal person would be like sure! Let me send you the recipe. Like the poor guy just wanted some fajitas and he was told he needs to get married. And they aren’t rare Lori. Like what world do you live it? 

Lori doesn't believe men should cook. She once proudly wrote that her son Stephen had NEVER made pancakes, and that she was glad he was marrying so his wife could cook some for him.

[cindyluvs24]

The hypothetical "single guy" in Lori's post ( because I don't believe for a minute that she just naturally encounters all of these random folks who just happen to fall in line with her worldview)  is automatically given dominion over a woman, but can't figure out how to slice a chicken breast, a pepper, and an onion, cook them in a pan with some spices and wrap the mess in a tortilla.  Sure glad I'm not relying on him to be my cover and protection.

Edited November 21, 2020 by cindyluvs24

[Melissa1977]

Re: the fajitas issue. That young man should have asked Ken instead of Lori. It was HIM who cooked for himself and the kids, because Lori just did salads and kids were hungry. 

48 minutes ago, Jackie3 said:

Lori doesn't believe men should cook. She once proudly wrote that her son Stephen had NEVER made pancakes, and that she was glad he was marrying so his wife could cook some for him.

Ken cooked and is still cooking. 

And frankly, I don't see Stephen's wife submissive, but bossy. I could be wrong, of course.

[usmcmom]

My theory about the fajita question? The young man was Lori’s grandson and is probably about seven or eight. Lori took a fun question about dinner and turned it into a stupid conversation about marriage. 
 

Just make dinner with you grandkids, Lori. Not everything has to be about your hateful beliefs. 

[Imrlgoddess]

6 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

Lori doesn't believe men should cook. She once proudly wrote that her son Stephen had NEVER made pancakes, and that she was glad he was marrying so his wife could cook some for him.

She would absolutely shit a kitten of she spent some time in south Louisiana.  The men Cook. They don't just grill on weekends, they throw down roast, rice & gravy on a whim.  I know many families where the wife either doesn't cook at all or only does quick breakfasts & once or twice a week meals to give him a break.  And it's a cultural dynamic in a rabidly Catholic area.  They might have 6 kids but he's got his special pot in the kitchen. 

 

Also, cause it's been a while since I've lurked around: Lori's a spoiled gold digging bitch. 

[Sarah92]

4 hours ago, usmcmom said:

My theory about the fajita question? The young man was Lori’s grandson and is probably about seven or eight. Lori took a fun question about dinner and turned it into a stupid conversation about marriage. 
 

Just make dinner with you grandkids, Lori. Not everything has to be about your hateful beliefs. 

Now that you mention it, I believe you’re right. Lori doesn’t seem to interact much with people outside of her family and I doubt she’s connected with the people at her church. She might go to a church with people who believe similarly to her but she doesn’t package her beliefs nice enough and she doesn’t report doing much with her church family. Traditionally Christian lady bloggers love to share cute church stories. 
So that falls to it being within her family. 

[KDA]

16 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

 

I wonder if the suicide rate among fundie wives is higher that other groups of women?

I suspect these women would be too scared to commit suicide because most of them believe it's a sin to take your own life and they'll go straight to hell.

[Melissa1977]

21 minutes ago, KDA said:

I suspect these women would be too scared to commit suicide because most of them believe it's a sin to take your own life and they'll go straight to hell.

Fundie or not, mothers don't commit suicide often. Of course it may happen, but are not the typical "suicide target".

I bet a lot of fundie women take legal drugs for depression and anxiety. Not all.of them are like Teri. I assume there are fundies who secretly do birth control, take drugs and do a lot of "ungodly" things. 

[SweetLaurel]

11 hours ago, usmcmom said:

My theory about the fajita question? The young man was Lori’s grandson and is probably about seven or eight. Lori took a fun question about dinner and turned it into a stupid conversation about marriage. 
 

Just make dinner with you grandkids, Lori. Not everything has to be about your hateful beliefs. 

And if it was, I bet he didn't get fajitas, he got a slime salad and he better like it!   Unlike this grandma who goes - Sure, whatever you want!  Here, want to help?  I'll show you how to make them.  

She just makes up so much random stuff - like all the females doctors she has ever met cried on her bony shoulder and wished they hadn't gone to medical school.  And all the random men who told her their preferences in a wife, like she was stopping them at the K-mart and doing a questionnaire.   

 I mean, I write, I totally get literary license, but when your 'brand' is to be Godly and perfect and submissive -is lying really one of the things Thou Shalt Do?   Is it right if it is for  Jesus?  

Edited November 22, 2020 by SweetLaurel
adding

[usmcmom]

My son-in-law is an excellent cook. He grew up with a father who cooked, so it was something he learned just by watching. I love that my daughter can come home after a twelve hour shift and eat a good meal. On her days off, she does the cooking.

My husband has never been one to cook much. I always knew he would feed the kids if I was gone or ill, but he never put together anything at all complicated. And that never bothered me because I like to cook. 
 

When I had surgery two weeks ago, I had twenty four hours notice, so I was glad our freezer was full. USMCDAD mainly heated up soups and casseroles that I had frozen. However, if I was craving something, he would do his best to make it. I sat at the table and guided him through making chicken pot pie noodle bake one day.  Another day, it was sloppy joes.  It was fun. 
 

Most importantly, when he ran to the store to get my prescriptions, he picked up some break-n-bake cookie dough. Every night, he carried a small plate of warm cookies to me on the couch.  That may be why I did not lose weight while recovering as I had hoped. Heh. But, who cares? Warm cookies make everything better. 
 

According to Lori, a real man would do none of the thoughtful things we talk about here about our partners. 

[louisa05]

20 hours ago, cindyluvs24 said:

The hypothetical "single guy" in Lori's post ( because I don't believe for a minute that she just naturally encounters all of these random folks who just happen to fall in line with her worldview)  is automatically given dominion over a woman, but can't figure out how to slice a chicken breast, a pepper, and an onion, cook them in a pan with some spices and wrap the mess in a tortilla.  Sure glad I'm not relying on him to be my cover and protection.

This is my question all the time. They tell us that men are supposed to have all power over all things because they are so much more capable than women. And they also tell us that basic life skills like cooking and cleaning are much too hard for them to handle, that they have incredibly fragile egos that must be coddled all the time, that they have zero self-control, and that they cannot function at all if a woman questions their actions or opinions. These two things don't go together.  Why would we want these pitiful people in charge of anything?