Maxwell 40: Wearing Their Vests in an Apartment for Fun

[Tangy Bee]

I feel awful suggesting that Abby is capable of watching her siblings. Thought she was 12 or 13. Totally forgot about the baby. 

[Giraffe]

52 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

@Giraffe,  the old radical mastectomy is really not done anymore since a number of studies have shown that less invasive -and less disfiguring- surgeries have results as good as the radical mastectomy which removes not only the breast, but the underlying chest muscles as well.

Thank you!  I’ll check out Tig’s YouTube, too. I’m obviously very ignorant about breast cancer. 

Edited July 13, 2020 by Giraffe
Adding words

[PennySycamore]

1 hour ago, Giraffe said:

Thank you!  I’ll check out Tig’s YouTube, too. I’m obviously very ignorant about breast cancer. 

No, you're not.  There are basically three surgical options for breast cancer.  The simplest and least invasive is the lumpectomy where only the lump and a bit of surrounding tissue is excised.  Next is the quadrectomy where the affected quadrant of the breast is removed and then there is the simple mastectomy which I've already described.  I think what some people refer to as a radical mastectomy is actually a simple mastectomy.  If a woman (or man) has a lumpectomy, then they'll have radiation in addition to the surgery whereas if they have a mastectomy, they might avoid radiation. (That's my understanding anyway.)  Some BC patients also feel safer if they have the more extensive surgery.  Some women do have breast reconstruction if they have a mastectomy, but not all women do as  Tig showed.  There's also the ad that recently been shown on TV that has a woman taking off her shirt and she has had a double mastectomy without any breast reconstruction.  (I can't remember the product pitched unfortunately.)  Christina Applegate and Angelina Jolie both had preventative double mastectomies as they carried the BRAC mutation.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I'm sure they have Medicare and I have no problem with that. He served the US in the Air Force, he's held a job--he's paid for it.  As for going back on their belief system--I wouldn't hold your breath. Nor on education for "girls" [even if they are nearly 40] GOD will provide. If it had been Chris ill and Anna well, then it would be expected that that families and the church would meet the needs of the widow and orphans. Should the worst happen, Chris would likely remarry.

[HoneyBunny]

My breast surgeons (we “interviewed” two before settling on one) both told me that the mastectomy/lumpectomy choice was mine. When I asked what they would do in my place, they both (including the one who had had breast cancer and had a mastectomy) said they’d go with the lumpectomy. That’s what we did (I say “we” because my husband absolutely was my partner in all this). Fortunately (or not), I have DDs, and all I have now are two scars (surgery site and sentinel lymph node site) and some dimpling. The affected breast also “hangs” a bit differently than the other breast. If I had it to do all over again, I’d have had a double mastectomy without reconstruction and been done with it,  but the knowledge that I could still get a recurrence in the scars also pushed me in the lumpectomy direction. 

[usmcmom]

About child care/helping with Anna Marie’s children - I have always been under the impression that the cousins do not spend time together outside of gatherings at Teri’s house. 
 

Many families, if living so close to siblings, would take advantage of that and have lots of playdates and mutual babysitting. This would not have to mean all the kids go to someone’s house at once. Same-age cousins could have time together without overwhelming their mothers.  For instance, maybe Calia could have play time with Ruth Anne and Lydia. I’m not suggesting this should happen during this crisis; just that it has always seemed odd to me (if it it is even true).

Along those lines, if the kids had been playing with their cousins more, it might not seem so overwhelming now to manage their schedules. It might be something like “Well, Kyle was going to play with Ben today. So, how about Ruthie and Lydia come here to play with Calia.” Just an example.  
*****

I have also wondered of this childcare issue has been a way for Steve to keep his some nearby...”Well, if you move to Iowa, you won’t have such easy access to childcare.” 

[kpmom]

4 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

About child care/helping with Anna Marie’s children - I have always been under the impression that the cousins do not spend time together outside of gatherings at Teri’s house. 
 

 

I agree.  When they have pictures on the blog taken at one of the brothers houses I don't recall once seeing kids from another brother there visiting.  Maybe they do, but we sure don't see it.

Even when they're playing at "Auntie's Park", it's always one family at a time.  Interesting.

11 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

I have also wondered of this childcare issue has been a way for Steve to keep his some nearby...”Well, if you move to Iowa, you won’t have such easy access to childcare.” 

I don't doubt that's a factor.  On the one hand, they have to put up with in-laws close by.   Otoh, lots of child care for the million kids they're expected to have.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

6 minutes ago, kpmom said:

I don't doubt that's a factor.  On the one hand, they have to put up with in-laws close by.   Otoh, lots of child care for the million kids they're expected to have.

I would rather raise 40 ill mannered children alone on a mountainside than live in a glass house near my in-laws, if they were Steve and Teri.

[MaryatHome]

I doubt that the family would qualify for Medicaid in Kansas.  Our benighted legislature has continually killed Medicaid expansion, so that even women who qualify during their pregnancy are ineligible once they deliver (though their child may still receive coverage).  A married adult, even with children, can have no more than $3000 in total assets.  We are a morally bankrupt society.

[PennySycamore]

@usmcmom,  we lived across the street from my mom's oldest brother,  close to another of my  mom's brothers, and her baby sister lived in town when her husband was stationed overseas.  We played a lot with these cousins who were so close andm=, in turn, we've remained close as adults.  I cannot imagine it being otherwise. How sad for the Max kids that this appears not to be true for them.

[JermajestyDuggar]

47 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

About child care/helping with Anna Marie’s children - I have always been under the impression that the cousins do not spend time together outside of gatherings at Teri’s house. 
 

Many families, if living so close to siblings, would take advantage of that and have lots of playdates and mutual babysitting. This would not have to mean all the kids go to someone’s house at once. Same-age cousins could have time together without overwhelming their mothers.  For instance, maybe Calia could have play time with Ruth Anne and Lydia. I’m not suggesting this should happen during this crisis; just that it has always seemed odd to me (if it it is even true).

Along those lines, if the kids had been playing with their cousins more, it might not seem so overwhelming now to manage their schedules. It might be something like “Well, Kyle was going to play with Ben today. So, how about Ruthie and Lydia come here to play with Calia.” Just an example.  
*****

I have also wondered of this childcare issue has been a way for Steve to keep his some nearby...”Well, if you move to Iowa, you won’t have such easy access to childcare.” 

One of my very best friends is my cousin. We are only a few months apart and our first sleepovers were with each other. We had like a million sleepovers actually. It was easy to talk our parents into endless sleepovers since we were cousins. Now our kids play together.

[usmcmom]

1 minute ago, PennySycamore said:

@usmcmom,  we lived across the street from my mom's oldest brother,  close to another of my  mom's brothers, and her baby sister lived in town when her husband was stationed overseas.  We played a lot with these cousins who were so close andm=, in turn, we've remained close as adults.  I cannot imagine it being otherwise. How sad for the Max kids that this appears not to be true for them.

Sounds so wonderful for you! I grew up two doors down from my same-aged cousins and, together, we made a pack of seven kids who did everything together. My mom and my aunt just assumed we’d all tag along if one of them was going somewhere. 
 

I was so excited when my sister moved less than an hour from me.  I had visions of our kids being constant companions,  We had such different parenting styles, though, that we never got out kids together. She was sure everyone, even her niece and nephew would be a bad influence. It makes me sad. 
 

With the Maxwells believing that a child’s siblings should be their best friends, I guess they extend that exclusion to cousins. What they don’t seem to care about, though, is that this attitude is basically saying “Even my brothers’ children are not proper companions for my kids.” 

[Bethy]

42 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

About child care/helping with Anna Marie’s children - I have always been under the impression that the cousins do not spend time together outside of gatherings at Teri’s house. 
 

Many families, if living so close to siblings, would take advantage of that and have lots of playdates and mutual babysitting. This would not have to mean all the kids go to someone’s house at once. Same-age cousins could have time together without overwhelming their mothers.  For instance, maybe Calia could have play time with Ruth Anne and Lydia. I’m not suggesting this should happen during this crisis; just that it has always seemed odd to me (if it it is even true).

Along those lines, if the kids had been playing with their cousins more, it might not seem so overwhelming now to manage their schedules. It might be something like “Well, Kyle was going to play with Ben today. So, how about Ruthie and Lydia come here to play with Calia.” Just an example.  
*****

I have also wondered of this childcare issue has been a way for Steve to keep his some nearby...”Well, if you move to Iowa, you won’t have such easy access to childcare.” 

But there's so dang much SCHEDULING. They aren't people who feel they can have a spontaneous playdate. Also how much do they even play? I remember Anna Marie posting about discovering Joshua liked doing puzzles so she gave him a 15-minute block to work with them while she was getting Ruthie and Lydia down for naps each day. The blog features young kids with chore packs clipped on their pockets, smiling and doing work. As toddlers, Melanie's girls were given spray bottles of plain water and a washcloth to "help" the aunts clean the bathroom. There's no television or video games, so that limits what would be done on a playdate. I mean, would they get together and be like, "Hey, I learned this awesome trick yesterday about using vinegar to remove lime scale from the shower head. Can we try it on yours?"

Also I'm not sure the Original 8 ever really saw a close cousin bond modeled - didn't Steve cut off one of his own siblings because they were into "bunny stuff" and celebrated Easter instead of Resurrection Sunday? So even if S&T's kids had been geographically close to cousins, they wouldn't have played with them because of Steve's stinking superiority. Now they live in a pile in the same neighborhood in Kansas and a growing brood of same-age cousins don't seem to mingle. Sad.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

I don't feel bad that the kids don't spend more time with their cousins.  I feel bad that they don't spend time with anyone else.

If they went to school they'd have unrelated friends, acquaintances, people they don't like...people who don't like them.  In short they would learn how to interact with people with different beliefs and lifestyles which prepares you for real life.

If any of those kids has to (or hopefully chooses to) get a job in the secular world they are going to be very ill equipped.

[MamaJunebug]

Kelly Predton died of breast cancer. Had her 3rd child @ 48 which according to some doctor on an entertainment show, could have increased her chances for the illness. 

Hope Chris & Anna stop with Simon Peter. But they probably don’t know who Ms. Preston was. 

[PennySycamore]

For anyone  who doesn't know who Kelly Preston was, she was John Travolta's wife and an actress.  RIP, Kelly.

[MamaJunebug]

1 minute ago, PennySycamore said:

For anyone  who doesn't know who Kelly Preston was, she was John Travolta's wife and an actress.  RIP, Kelly

4 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

 

This. I apologize for not being more complete. The couple reportedly were staunch devotees of Scientology, which has, IIRC and I may not, an uneven attitude toward medical care.  In addition to her young son, she leaves behind a daughter and of course her husband. Praying for them, so rough. 

[Lady Grass Lake]

5 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

I'll eat my hat if Steve is not on Medicare himself.  Teri turns 65 next month and will be eligible then as Steve's spouse..  I expect Steve has taken full advantage of all his veteran's benefits too.  Steve has a university degree, worked a corporate job, and paid into SS before he was called to set up his for-profit "ministry."  And he is very clear that he pays his taxes.  I expect the rest of the family does too.

Steve is no SovCit.  He's more of law-abiding control freak with rigid beliefs and a very small following of true believers outside the family.  He's way too strict for most Fundies.

 

Depending on your age, you can elect to start Soc. Sec. payments at 62, but it would be a lower amount than you would get at 65 or now 66 as long as you have accrued 40 quarterly credits, and your payout is based on earnings you earn closer to retirement.  Once you elect to start taking them at 62 you can't stop and start over later on to get a larger payment.  You can also hold off getting payments until you are 70 and get even more a month.  A good financial advisor can run some programs to tell you what a break even point is for you, do you draw early or late and when.  

Terry is also eligible at 62 to receive Social Security based on Steve's earnings over the years, even if she never worked long enough to earn her own credits.   A spouse can elect to receive half of their husband's monthy amount or her own social security payout, and get the larger of the two payments.   A spouse is eligible for benefits for any person they have been legally married to at least 10 years.  

 

 

  

[thoughtful]

1 hour ago, Bethy said:

As toddlers, Melanie's girls were given spray bottles of plain water and a washcloth to "help" the aunts clean the bathroom. There's no television or video games, so that limits what would be done on a playdate. I mean, would they get together and be like, "Hey, I learned this awesome trick yesterday about using vinegar to remove lime scale from the shower head. Can we try it on yours?"

"I double-dog dare you to polish your cabinet counter-clockwise!"

1 hour ago, Bethy said:

Steve cut off one of his own siblings because they were into "bunny stuff"

If I didn't know we were talking about Resurrection Sunday, this would sound so kinky.

[Coconut Flan]

49 minutes ago, Lady Grass Lake said:

A spouse can elect to receive half of their husband's monthy amount or her own social security payout, and get the larger of the two payments

Spouses don't really elect to receive either type payment.  Social Security calculates and gives the person the larger payment.  They're required to do so.  Someone who draws more on his or her own account gets paid fully on that record with no receiving on the spouse.  If they get more as a spouse, then they get an "A/B" check.  They receive on their own and as a spouse.   If one of the couple dies, Social Security recalculates so a person could get an A/D check.  They are receiving on their own record "A" and has a widow(er) "D."  In no case do they receive both their own full amount plus the full spouse or widow benefit as sometimes people mistakenly believe.  

[fundiesarefascinating]

6 hours ago, Tangy Bee said:

I feel awful suggesting that Abby is capable of watching her siblings. Thought she was 12 or 13. Totally forgot about the baby. 

Don't feel bad! 11-12 years old is a normal age to start babysitting (especially when family is living on the same street as you). The problem is that for Fundies, they either refuse to understand or are genuinely ignorant to the fact that babysitting is not the same as raising your siblings. 

Babysitting is looking after your siblings or cousins for 2-3 hours while your parents go to a special church event in the evening. Baby is going with the parents or being left at grandparents, who are also available to check in half way through the night. Mum/dad have prepared, cooked, and pre-served dinner to all children. All the kids are changed into pj's already (and this might be the special night to skip bath time). An easy snack of microwave popcorn, chips, or cut up fruit have been left - something that an 11-12 year old can serve. The kids will all watch a movie together and then have a "sleepover" in the living room or one sibling's bedroom to make bed time a little bit easier. Mum and dad will get home at a reasonable time and make sure everyone is okay, safe, and there is little concern about children being asleep already. We all know that this is not at all what would be expected of Abby if she was asked to watch the other children. She would be expected to act in true sister-mum fashion and be parenting. Huge difference IMHO. And this is also the concern about having eleventy children - babysitting 1-2 siblings/cousins is reasonable. Looking after 5-6 siblings with a 16-18 month gap between each is just not reasonable or safe. 

[IReallyAmHopewell]

3 hours ago, kpmom said:

When they have pictures on the blog taken at one of the brothers houses I don't recall once seeing kids from another brother there visiting.  Maybe they do, but we sure don't see it.

Maybe they all just hate each other? LOL Not hard to imagine. Perfect Nathan and Christopher. And then "the other BOYS"...

[moreorlessnu]

7 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Yes, MassHealth is similar to Medi-Cal and they are the gold standard where Medicaid is concerned.  Not all states have as decent coverage.

If their family income is low enough (and with all those kids) no tricks or divorces are required.  They could apply as a family.  We have no idea how much Chris earns from his employment with Maxwell companies, wedding pics, and lawn mowing gigs.  But in most states you can own your house and still get Medicaid.  

Medicaid eligibility is horrendously complicated.  So is "spend down" to Medicaid. Here's MassHealth:  https://www.mass.gov/how-to/apply-for-masshealth-the-health-safety-net-or-the-childrens-medical-security-plan

Doesn't MassHealth also go after the person's estate if they die (and they are older than 55)?

[ElizaB]

A comment from the salad post asked about dressing and Teri said she uses the Olive Garden dressing. I guess she is not following Steve's diet completely as he can't even have oil. This was good to hear. Also, Teri is right Olive Garden dressing is the bomb. 

[kpmom]

@MamaJunebugmy first thought too, when I heard about Kelly Preston's death, was whether she got good medical care, knowing she and John were Scientologists.

But, my sister told me John, in his Instagram statement, thanked the staff at M.D. Anderson hospital.  So, it sounds like she got care at an excellent hospital.