Bro Gary Hawkins 14: Ween, glorious WEEN!

[thoughtful]

1 hour ago, Maggie Mae said:

I just can't wrap my mind around how this guy is a pastor. "God don't make junk. God make perfect." is he a caveman? 

He sure sounds like one, doesn't he? A caveman, that is - not a pastor.

Actually, Gary would be the first to tell you that he is an evangelist and a preacher, not a pastor (which he pronounces "pasture"). That distinction seems to be important to him, probably because he doesn't want the responsibility.

He doesn't want to get to know people, care for them, sit by their sickbeds, or come up with new ideas to preach. He just wants to get in his beloved Ford truck and go to the next church, rant, get fed and a bed, and move on.

Here are some more of his answers on the thread (and what prompted them, if needed for context):

Spoiler

Green gives Gary a long list of errors. BTW, Green is not a liberal pastor - he's KJV-loving, "our country's in spiritual warfare" guy, generally on Gary's wavelength. But Gary goes into full-on shrieking, terrified, superstitious mode whenever this subject comes up.

Did someone hack into Gary's account? "in whom?" From Gary?! 

Spoiler

I bet Gary is growling, and that we will hear about "those guys ah blocked on Facebook - I ain't namin' no names" in upcoming videos and messages.

[Maggie Mae]

He's so unpleasant and ignorant. I wonder how he got to be the way he is. Who gave him the idea that he'd be a good preacher? Why hasn't he realized that he isn't very good at it? Did he miss the part in the KJV about humility? 

[Black Aliss]

On 8/18/2020 at 11:06 AM, Maggie Mae said:

He could also be going for that "folksy" routine where he is "not too smart" because people who follow Bro Gary don't like their preachers/presidents to be too articulate. 

A good grifter knows to make sure his griftees think they are smarter than the grifter. See Also: Donald J. Trump

[thoughtful]

Spoiler

Spoiler

Gary, Becky and Jacob have probably cleaned up after your supper mess. Becky has probably ironed your clothes, sold some Tupperware, made the beds wherever you are grifting your lodging, found some more insane conspiracy theories, and gone to bed. And you're still being this guy:

Spoiler

And you are still not actually saying anything.

I mean, if there is one of the various KJVs that you favor, and you have a reason you believe that God did not inspire any of the texts written before it, or any of the other versions, just tell them!

"I use GOD word" doesn't really explain anything.

[Ozlsn]

5 hours ago, thoughtful said:

I use GOD word" doesn't really explain anything.

I am actually impressed that so many people have tried to reason with Gary. Lost cause, but at least we got "I'm sorry, I didn't realise Moses wrote in Elizabethan English" which made my night. 

7 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

Did he miss the part in the KJV about humility?

I don't think he understood it...

Also someone mentioned Tynedale! Woo!

8 hours ago, thoughtful said:

He doesn't want to get to know people, care for them, sit by their sickbeds, or come up with new ideas to preach. He just wants to get in his beloved Ford truck and go to the next church, rant, get fed and a bed, and move on.

He wants the glory without the actual work of pastoring. 

[AmazonGrace]

Gary's entire Facebook condensed:

[CTRLZero]

5 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise Moses wrote in Elizabethan English"

This quote is definitely a keeper.  I've said similar things myself, but I usually use Shakespearean.  Gary has probably not heard of either.  ?

[thoughtful]

Another fresh new day, another chance for Gary to be a dick:

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Spoiler

 

[Maggie Mae]

Why would the omnipresent omnipotent GOD need to sniff me? Shouldn't he already know what I smell like? 

For the record I smell like strawberry pound cake lotion from Bath & Body works, layered with La Vie Est Belle and a sample of Cashmere Mist because It just got here and I wanted to try it out so yes I am the person that lots of people complain about. But for the record I am not working in an office right now. 

[thoughtful]

Becky's latest outrage:

https://pjmedia.com/news-and-politics/paula-bolyard/2020/06/11/teacher-spying-on-student-during-virtual-class-sends-cops-to-search-11-year-olds-home-after-spotting-a-bb-gun-n518679?fbclid=IwAR1D7eHXwjV8RFbeNhvRjA8MNWFwxMGYsRiBvpDuTDPM1uSHxC2_WWrnSYI

I'm no gun-lover, but I do think the people who called the police should have handled it differently. However, that article makes it sound like the family was horribly victimized.

 

[Xan]

1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

Another fresh new day, another chance for Gary to be a dick:

  Hide contents

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How are "souls dieing [sic]"?  Your body can die but I thought Bro Gary thought your soul was eternal.  And I'm pretty tired of his "hell to shun and heaven to gain" shtick.  Find some new words, Gar.

Also, I don't think Sucky-Teeth Gary has any room to talk about "sniffy Joe". 

Finally, I didn't realize that Jesus was judging our counties.  All of the counties or just the ones that are in Gary's current area?  Does it have to do with animals and produce like 4-H judging or is this about something else, Gary?

I sense that he's trying to steer clear of the KJV Bible discussion lately.  Even as stupid as Gary is, he might have realized that it didn't end up painting him in the best light.

[GlitterJam]

2 hours ago, Xan said:

 Even as stupid as Gary is, he might have realized that it didn't end up painting him in the best light.

 

I think you're giving him too much credit. Gary's entire life doesn't end up painting him in the best light and he doesn't seem to have noticed yet.

Edited August 21, 2020 by GlitterJam

[thoughtful]

If you're wondering why I'm posting this here, rather than the politics threads, it's because it struck me so to hear two people Gary would dismiss as liberal Democrats who  aren't saved and are "gonna split Hell wahhd open when they dah"* exchanging a Biblical reference that both of them get with no explanation (and trust the audience to get, as well):

I would think Gary knows this story, but I don't remember ever hearing him talk about it.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+9&version=KJV

* To be more specific, he would dismiss them as:

Colbert (Catholic) - somebody who don't know the Pope is no hope 'cause he smokes dope, who would rip his pants legs and crawl on CEEment in Mexico to worship Mary.

Clinton (Methodist - I don't think Gary even knows what that is, so I think he'd assume she's) - one them Wesleyans who thinks you can lose your salvation by dyin' while you're havin' a bad dream. Mah daddy drove a bus with one them once.

Edited August 22, 2020 by thoughtful
Gary riffle - I used grammar that was too correct to be imitatin' Gary, and had to change it!

[Ozlsn]

6 hours ago, Xan said:

Finally, I didn't realize that Jesus was judging our counties.  All of the counties or just the ones that are in Gary's current area?  Does it have to do with animals and produce like 4-H judging or is this about something else, Gary?

I think it's judging on how they protect the vulnerable, but that could just be me reading a socialist* translation of Jesus' actual teachings.

*not actually a socialist translation, just a later than 1611 one. 

 

[thoughtful]

7 hours ago, Xan said:

 

I sense that he's trying to steer clear of the KJV Bible discussion lately.  Even as stupid as Gary is, he might have realized that it didn't end up painting him in the best light.

Ah, @Xan, you give Gary too much credit. He did resort to some links to videos before the end of the night, but he returned to the thread about an hour ago:

[thoughtful]

Gary, a glutton for punishment, has been call stupid Dum, and has even been block! But he's back at it:

 

[AmazonGrace]

Gary you have been block because you have been dick.

[Four is Enough]

@thoughtful, I saw that Colbert segment.. didn't think of Gary, but of course this ebil Catholic understood immediately what they were talking about and gee! probably so did most of the viewership!

 

[thoughtful]

47 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

@thoughtful, I saw that Colbert segment.. didn't think of Gary, but of course this ebil Catholic understood immediately what they were talking about and gee! probably so did most of the viewership!

Heck, I never heard or read a word of the Christian parts of the Bible outside of literary references and choral music until I was a middle-aged woman, and I got it.

But, of course, one of the "outs" that people like Gary use is scorning education and knowledge in favor of being saved. He'd just throw 2 Timothy 3:7 at us; Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

12 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

Gary you have been block because you have been dick.

It true - Gary dick. He was the only one in that argument who said he was going to block anyone, BTW.

The argument continues. Becky must have reminded Gary to crucify his flesh and not resort to anger, so he started with another video link and some kindly but condescending advice:

Spoiler

He gets crankier as he goes along, though. No doubt he wonders why the other people arguing are so stubborn, not accepting his brilliant insights.

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Poor Yurick chimes in again:

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Um, George - the people arguing against Gary are just as right-wing as you are. They just aren't fixated on believing that one edition of one piece of literature in one language is divinely inspired, despite there being no reason to believe that, as you are.

[Four is Enough]

You're right, @thoughtful. So many of the bible stories have become part of the vernacular that most people recognize them. Why does Gary think that only he has a lock on this?

I really can barely tolerate Gary's bad (missing?) spelling and grammar.. Is he that stupid that he doesn't even know how inarticulate he is?

I agree; Gary block, cause Gary dick.

[Ozlsn]

Ronald is correct though, on several fronts. They worship the format, not God. To them the message is far less important than the book it is in. When you have churches putting up logos like the one posted earlier which prominently feature "1611, KJV and a book" - but no cross, then you have to wonder how "Christian" they are. They should call themselves KJV-followers  because that is all that it seems to be about for them.

Also King James did squat of the actual translation, he hired experts. And paid them, not least so the version produced wouldn't  emphasise unwanted things, like limiting his powers, or overthrow of rulers. No point giving the populace an actual, Biblically approved excuse. It still amuses me that so many of these groups would see a monarch as being unacceptable, but cling tightly to this Bible version produced partly to shore up regal power in uncertain times.

[thoughtful]

4 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

Is he that stupid that he doesn't even know how inarticulate he is?

It's hard to say. Sometimes I think he doesn't, sometimes I see him clearly annoyed with himself for misreading or not being able to retrieve a word, and sometimes he celebrates the "I'm a dumb hillbilly" shtick.

Next gig is posted.

Me singing and preaching, you Jane.

Also, I watched one of the Sam Gipp videos Gary posted in his argument. He's very slick, with an "of course you agree with me" manner.

If you'd like to get in there and watch one for the Gipper, here it is. Antioch = good, Egypt = bad, and you wouldn't drink coffee with salt and pepper in it, so why read other Bibles?

There are more, here:

http://www.kingjamesbiblestudyoftulsa.com/category/video/sam-gipp/?fbclid=IwAR2MSKNBwcCtCKG04mfBNU2X9FsRQwwPTABBhyak1j_qBRoPQ5dgNhFAWB4

I am sure we will all be KJV-only when we have watched them.

[GlitterJam]

13 hours ago, thoughtful said:

If you'd like to get in there and watch one for the Gipper, here it is. Antioch = good, Egypt = bad, and you wouldn't drink coffee with salt and pepper in it, so why read other Bibles?

 

The great thing about this argument is that it doesn't work because coffee with a pinch of salt is great (try it, but be careful with the salt!). If your coffee is burnt, old, or overextracted, a pinch of salt will perk it right up: https://www.littlecoffeeplace.com/salt-in-coffee/

You can also now get coffee with a bit of pepper, or a bit of turmeric, and of course let's not go leaving out tea - chai tea is one of the best things out there!

In short: finding out what works best with what's already there to bring ouit extra flavours and complexities is one of the joys of drinking coffee or tea. I assume you could make the same argument with the Bible: translating the original texts so the audience of the day (Elizabethan, American, Chinese, etc) can partake and gradually develop a more nuanced understanding of them is the best way to encourage people to take up reading the Bible.

[Fruitcake]

If Jill shoves him any higher up on that pedestal he’s going to break his neck when it topples.

Also, as a kind favor, could someone please take my poo-touching stick away for the day? I keep reaching for it and putting it back. 

[thoughtful]

Got me, Gary.

Spoiler

I would prefer to not unite together for our write to party. I hate parties.

Spoiler

Gary is live, bloviating away. I shall recap when he's done.

Edited August 23, 2020 by thoughtful
fixing spoiler