Bro Gary Hawkins 14: Ween, glorious WEEN!

[Ozlsn]

6 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Nobody laughs - I think they are tired.

After listening to Gary more than once? They deserve it.

6 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

He warns them that they may have to go through being hung to stakes and burnt to death like our ancestors.

Gary, pretty sure your ancestors were the ones doing the burning etc. 

7 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

If the Democrats git it, we'll have  every'thin' taken away from us. Amen. Because you won't have to worry about comin' to church, an an an an and comin' in ya say whah 'cause it's gonna be locked. And it ain't gonna have - you ain't gonna have the key to unlock it."

Just like under Obama, right? 

8 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Of a truth thy fellow also was with him: for he is a Galil - Galilaean

At least he didn't go with Gallifrean, although that would have made me laugh.

9 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

His theme is the uniqueness of the Devil, to bookend this morning's message.

So did anything actually correspond to this theme, or is he just pulling random titles again?

[thoughtful]

1 hour ago, Xan said:

I took a peek and just skipped to a couple of places.  I had the bad fortune to first land on Gary talking about how he enjoyed whipping his children and he said he didn't lie to them and tell them that it was "gonna hurt me worse than it hurt them".  Hateful little man.

In the second spot, Gary was talking about Solomon having 300 (what sounded like) "corkubines".  I guess that makes Solomon a reptobate.  That's it.  He's still mean and stupid.  Backing out of the video.

Yeah, that's from the afternoon service - I was still watching it when you posted. He's a nasty shit, morning, noon and evening - at least he's consistent.

Becky has been at it again:

Spoiler

 

 

[thoughtful]

 

Gary made a video. The pastor "lined it up for them to go ridin' in a boat, on a lake." Hmmmm, I wonder if the words "go jump in a" were in there somewhere.

Rascal is with them (keep him safe, Becky!).

Spoiler

Jacob gets to steer the boat for a while (Gary says "drive," of course, as he does for airplanes).

Gary keeps saying it's "the lake, in New York," until someone tells him it's Mayfield Lake.

Actually, Gary, it's called Great Sacandaga Lake.

https://www.google.com/maps/place/Great+Sacandaga+Lake/@43.1011546,-74.3428252,11z/data=!4m5!3m4!1s0x89de5775feb95895:0x6de39d5ea71f6f3c!8m2!3d43.1338558!4d-74.1827119

I don't know if some locals call it Mayfield Lake, or only conservative locals who are pissy about using non-Anglo names, or their host just didn't want to deal with trying to teach Gary to say Sacandaga.

Gary tries to tell us more about New York geography, so we get this exchange:

Gary: Anera - aner - how'd ya say that? Aner -
Becky: Andirondacks
Gary: Anerundax - ah cain't say it, so, but.
Becky: Adirondacks
Gary: the Ander - un -
Becky: Adore-ondacks.
Gary: Adderundex. Mah wahf's tryin' t'teach me how to say this stuff so but uh.

Here is their view:

Spoiler

I'm glad Jacob got a nice day out and a new experience.

[Ozlsn]

18 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

their host just didn't want to deal with trying to teach Gary to say Sacandaga.

Given the difficulty with Albion/Oblion/Alblion/Oblivion... yeah I'd be going with "it's called The Lake". Or even "the little sea". Or "the pond". "The big puddle".

I do wonder about his difficulty with words - is it just that I'm more exposed to him or is it increasing?

22 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Gary: Adderundex. Mah wahf's tryin' t'teach me how to say this stuff so but uh.

This isn't even homeschooling FTW, this is a verbal processing issue (or looks like it to me).

[thoughtful]

1 minute ago, Ozlsn said:

Given the difficulty with Albion/Oblion/Alblion/Oblivion... yeah I'd be going with "it's called The Lake". Or even "the little sea". Or "the pond". "The big puddle".

"Wet. It is called 'wet,' Gary."

 

2 minutes ago, Ozlsn said:

I do wonder about his difficulty with words - is it just that I'm more exposed to him or is it increasing?

I think it has been this bad for as long as I've been listening to him and reading what he writes.

I wouldn't mock him for it if he wasn't, as someone here said (I wish I could remember who to credit), "aggressively stupid," not to mention vile, cruel, greedy, dangerous, and trying to pass himself off as a leader in his faith.

 

[AmazonGrace]

Gary, it's called That Big Wet Thing. 

Based on his halting Bible readings and nonsensical FB posts he seems to have trouble with all manner of words including words like  on, in, them, then... but it seems like he makes a bigger production out of his stumblings if it involves a name of Native American origin, or something that he deems  foreign. 

I think he's a little proud that he can't pronunciate thems forrin sylllabillies.

Edited August 17, 2020 by AmazonGrace

[smittykins]

I’d love to hear him try to say Onondaga, Canandaigua, or Skaneateles.(FTR, the last one’s pronounced “skinny-atlas.”)

And it pains me to have to confess that it just dawned on me that BGV stands for Bro Gary Version. ?

[MayMay1123]

I wonder if on his trips through Pennsylvania if he came across Intercourse, or Blue Ball, or Climax. How would he per-nun-see-ate them? 

[Maggie Mae]

1 hour ago, Ozlsn said:

I do wonder about his difficulty with words - is it just that I'm more exposed to him or is it increasing?

I think it's part of his inability to listen to other people and his "knowledge" that he is the smartest person in the room at all times. 

And also racism - I see it quite a bit around here. People DO NOT want to pronounce native american things properly and usually get upset when they can't do it and give up. 

[thoughtful]

53 minutes ago, smittykins said:

And it pains me to have to confess that it just dawned on me that BGV stands for Bro Gary Version.

I did write it out the first time I used it - should probably do that with the first quote in each post.

23 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

I think it's part of his inability to listen to other people and his "knowledge" that he is the smartest person in the room at all times. 

And also racism - I see it quite a bit around here. People DO NOT want to pronounce native american things properly and usually get upset when they can't do it and give up. 

I have heard Gary mispronounce on purpose to mock. He even develops mockery from his problems with words. I think his many names for Coronavirus and Cuomo came from real difficulty remembering and pronouncing them, and turned into a nasty "comedy" routine.

I am braced for what he's going to make out of Kamala.

But mostly I think it's a combination of genuine trouble getting from written word to eyes to brain, to moving jaw and tongue, combined with being too impatient to be bothered.

I have seen him react with annoyance or even humor at his own inability to say or read something, occasionally.

[Ozlsn]

36 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

I did write it out the first time I used it - should probably do that with the first quote in each post.

I have heard Gary mispronounce on purpose to mock. He even develops mockery from his problems with words. I think his many names for Coronavirus and Cuomo came from real difficulty remembering and pronouncing them, and turned into a nasty "comedy" routine.

I am braced for what he's going to make out of Kamala.

But mostly I think it's a combination of genuine trouble getting from written word to eyes to brain, to moving jaw and tongue, combined with being too impatient to be bothered.

I have seen him react with annoyance or even humor at his own inability to say or read something, occasionally.

There's definitely a difficulty with reading aloud and getting the words out, and also with finding the right word, even when it's a fairly mainstream word. I was thinking more of his mangling of Bible readings and general attempts at expression when I was talking about verbal processing rather than place or other "foreign" names that he mispronounces, either deliberately or by mistake (or both).  The needing Becky to prompt him on routine words, the occasional inability to repeat words correctly... I was wondering if he has an ABI that is affecting his speech. 

Seriously if anyone should switch to a modern Bible translation it's Gary.  Although the BGV is frequently amusing, so...

[Lillymuffin]

8 hours ago, MayMay1123 said:

I wonder if on his trips through Pennsylvania if he came across Intercourse, or Blue Ball, or Climax. How would he per-nun-see-ate them? 

Fornicate, Fornicate, BeckyWhere’sMyWaterBottle? 

[Four is Enough]

And of course, in PA there's Paradise, near the aforementioned towns.... what would he have to say about that?

 

[MayMay1123]

28 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

And of course, in PA there's Paradise, near the aforementioned towns.... what would he have to say about that?

 

Singing meatloaf in my head ?

[Maggie Mae]

18 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

There's definitely a difficulty with reading aloud and getting the words out, and also with finding the right word, even when it's a fairly mainstream word. I was thinking more of his mangling of Bible readings and general attempts at expression when I was talking about verbal processing rather than place or other "foreign" names that he mispronounces, either deliberately or by mistake (or both).  The needing Becky to prompt him on routine words, the occasional inability to repeat words correctly... I was wondering if he has an ABI that is affecting his speech. 

He could also be going for that "folksy" routine where he is "not too smart" because people who follow Bro Gary don't like their preachers/presidents to be too articulate. 

[Lillymuffin]

2 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

And of course, in PA there's Paradise, near the aforementioned towns.... what would he have to say about that?

 

Not to mention Bird-in-Hand. For a state founded by Quakers, we definitely have a lot of double entendres in our town names. 

Edited August 18, 2020 by Lillymuffin

[Xan]

Gary posted about music:

Now, you might be tempted to think that Gary just doesn't like music you can dance to because Gary can't dance.  And you would probably be correct.  I always thought that this was the reason that Jim Bob Duggar was against dancing.  He just looks like a guy who has no sense of rhythm.

Anyway -- Gary just happens to know exactly what kind of music pleases God and it's only old hymns or sappy new music about being grateful to Jesus.  He doesn't want anything that "feeds the flesh" (which, incidentally, is a phrase that I really hate).  He likes to think a lot now about things that feed the flesh since he's on the one-meal-a-day diet.  The diet helpfully corresponded with this time period in which he's probably only being provided one meal a day by other people.  You see, Gar doesn't like having to pay for his own meals.

So, don't listen to FMJoy or K-Love because that will send you straight to Hell.  Although, if Gary ends up in Heaven, then Hell might suit me better.  Off to turn on some flesh-feeding music...

[AmazonGrace]

But, but, but, there is dancing in the KJV. Is KJV wrong?
 

Quote

 

2 Samuel 6:14

Then David danced before the Lord with all his might; and David was wearing a linen ephod.

Psalm 149:3

Let them praise His name with the dance; Let them sing praises to Him with the timbrel and harp.

Psalm 150:4

Praise Him with the timbrel and dance; Praise Him with stringed instruments and flutes!

Ecclesiastes 3:4

A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance;

 

 

Is sorthern somewhere between southern and northern?

50 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

He could also be going for that "folksy" routine where he is "not too smart" because people who follow Bro Gary don't like their preachers/presidents to be too articulate. 

That's definitely part of his shtick but more out of necessity than choice I think

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

OK Folks, it looks like Bro was at Jill’s Laundry Mat handing out tracts.  I wonder if Lord David was there,  if so I’m feeling badly for him.

Spoiler

 

[Maggie Mae]

8 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

That's definitely part of his shtick but more out of necessity than choice I think

Yeah, but I also think it feeds into why he lacks any sort of interest in getting better. That and obviously it's a defense mechanism against us coastal elites in our ivory towers looking down upon him and his god. 

 

15 minutes ago, Xan said:

Gary posted about music:

 

How does music feed my flesh? Do I apply it topically or is it something that can be administered orally? Sometimes when I get really into Just Dance Whatever Number, I can lose flesh, so maybe I need some must to feed it back to me? (No. No I do not.) 

[Alisamer]

25 minutes ago, Xan said:

So, don't listen to FMJoy or K-Love because that will send you straight to Hell.  Although, if Gary ends up in Heaven, then Hell might suit me better.  Off to turn on some flesh-feeding music...

Not gonna lie, there have been times I've been reading about these self-righteous idiots on here and been truly inspired! 

Inspired to listen to some Marilyn Manson, that is. And other such heathen stuff. Gothy stuff like Crüxshadows, Bella Morte, Voltaire and Abney Park, lots of 80's metal, Sixx A.M., etc. (And as I hit "submit", a Ratt song came on.)

I'd love to hear more specific stuff about what music Bro Gary does and doesn't like, though. It seems like a long time since we've seen a good old fashioned rant against rock 'n roll.

Edited August 18, 2020 by Alisamer

[AmazonGrace]

God is happy when the Hawkinses sing badly 

[Four is Enough]

3 hours ago, MayMay1123 said:

Singing meatloaf in my head ?

Oh it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night...

[thoughtful]

Gary got some pushback:

I figured out that David has a typo - he meant 2 Samuel, not 1 (he also seems to think Michal was a man). But I like his basic point:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+samuel+6%3A14-23&version=KJV

Quote

14 And David danced before the Lord with all his might; and David was girded with a linen ephod.

15 So David and all the house of Israel brought up the ark of the Lord with shouting, and with the sound of the trumpet.

16 And as the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal Saul's daughter looked through a window, and saw king David leaping and dancing before the Lord; and she despised him in her heart.

17 And they brought in the ark of the Lord, and set it in his place, in the midst of the tabernacle that David had pitched for it: and David offered burnt offerings and peace offerings before the Lord.

18 And as soon as David had made an end of offering burnt offerings and peace offerings, he blessed the people in the name of the Lord of hosts.

19 And he dealt among all the people, even among the whole multitude of Israel, as well to the women as men, to every one a cake of bread, and a good piece of flesh, and a flagon of wine. So all the people departed every one to his house.

20 Then David returned to bless his household. And Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, How glorious was the king of Israel to day, who uncovered himself to day in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants, as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncovereth himself!

21 And David said unto Michal, It was before the Lord, which chose me before thy father, and before all his house, to appoint me ruler over the people of the Lord, over Israel: therefore will I play before the Lord.

22 And I will yet be more vile than thus, and will be base in mine own sight: and of the maidservants which thou hast spoken of, of them shall I be had in honour.

23 Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no child unto the day of her death.

 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

The Old Testament folks got away with a lot of stuff.  They were not washed in the Blood of the Lamb, therefore they were not aware of their sinning and wrongful escapades.