Gwen Shamblin Lara 13: Shut UP You Paper-Thin Chip Licker!

[ignorantobserver]

They could have made several huge pots of ratatouille with all those beautiful vegetables and invite their cult members, then have that Galia melon for dessert... I hope very much they don't throw it away, that would be despicable. Sadly, I could imagine that Gwen weighs herself after meals, and vegetables add more pounds than a portion of junk food...

[Marmion]

5 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

Today's devotional requires some scientific context. https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32495-gwen-shamblin-8-not-smart-enough-to-think/?do=findComment&comment=1805038

To recap, God wants love to be eternal. Gwen explains that "eternal" means that it will never end. "Never" means that it will not end as long as the stars twinkle, as long  sun rises and as long as the moon reflects light. The sun is about halfway through its life so by my estimation eternal love has about 5 billion years left.  The moon is destined to disintegrate when the sun develops into a red giant. The life span of other stars depends on the star and some of the stars we see have already died, so to speak, but for the purposes of this discussion I will assume that eternal love will last as long as there is at least some starlight reaching the Earth. https://www.space.com/3373-earth-moon-destined-disintegrate.html

Next, you will have to use your imagination to create a huge, separate planet far, far away. Imagine there are love-filled saints from thousands of centuries. A little simple math tells us that there are saints from hundreds of thousands years. Either they live very long or they got resurrected at some point. Either way the saints on this far away planet that you imagined are much older than Remnant Fellowship, or anyone in the Bible. Some of them might be older than humans, as the first emergence of Homo sapiens was about 300,000 years ago.

Further imagine that your imaginary planet is "a planet of no pain". Gwen helpfully explains that this means that it is "a painless planet". I had assumed that as inanimate entities, all planets generally feel no pain, but it is good to make sure.

Did you imagine all that? Good. Then you go on to imagine that the leader of your planet made sure there are no hateful emotions there. There are colossal walls and white pearly gates, and somehow this will prevent negative emotions. People in wall-enclosed compounds have never felt bad for any reason ever.

Wait, what? You're saying this does not make sense to you? It does not need to make sense. This is a make believe planet that you conjured up in your head, it can be just as wacky as you want.

Have you imagined this far away planet now? All ready? Good. Your imaginary planet of love just proved that the God of Love is the author of all beautiful relationships.  Your far away fantasy world just proved that the Bible is the true history of the search of loving hearts, starting with Abraham.

Wait, what? The Bible doesn't start with Abraham, you say?

Shut up and imagine that it does.

Pictorial Gwen today: If you think you will be safe you will bring disaster on the watered land and the dry land.

How, why? Nobody knows.

 

So , does Gwen believe in Kolob , or something ?  

Spoiler

 

Because , if she does , she really has ripped off other prior new religious movements , i. e. what some might term cults .  Just saying .  

[Xan]

Another new video from Gwen.  This one is "Back to School:  Finding Your Child's Gifts".  She starts out with Joe and then is onstage with three other women.  Gwen has, of course, coordinated the day's outfits so the women educators are in black pants and tops and she's in a brown slip-dress with her omnipresent platform shoes.  Gwen - why are you always in spaghetti straps now?  We honestly don't need to see more of your skinny arms and, honey, you need a better bra.  My "girls" don't do well in those strapless numbers either.

She also is wearing so many bracelets.  I think there are about 10 and she has on several rings.  I think she has on two ankle bracelets too but it's hard to tell with those shoes.  The Lord must have told her that she needed extra accessories today.

I'm finding Gwen's hair and lip liner so distracting that I'm having trouble focusing on the message.  She has one curl on the top that seems to be trying to escape from her head.  (Yeah, little curl -- I understand.)  This video seems to be almost an infomercial on the Remnant School and how wonderful it is.  The children are all over-achievers and are able to do their school work and volunteer work and sometimes even jobs with no problem.  They're all trained to figure out what they want to be in life by around 13 or 14.  Since they're trained to "trust the authority", they're calmer and less worried.  These educators are all Remnant members and they believe that having God involved in education is just the best.  And they believe that Gwen has changed how they think about education.  Gwen believes that the children are all "upright".  I may barf.

Screenshots:  (In the last pic, I'm not sure what's going on with Gwen's right eyelid.)

Spoiler

 

Link to video:

Spoiler

 

 

[Ozlsn]

She looks like a zombie in those two middle screenshots. Honestly I could believe she'd eat brains, except for the eating part.

[ignorantobserver]

I wouldn't say zombie... I remember being dressed up as a scarecrow for a ballet recital when I was about ten, my makeup and costume were almost identical to Gwen's. My hair was less messy, though.

[Tah Dah]

Oh my... She  looks like Tammy Faye Baker and a crackhead had a love child. ?

[AmazonGrace]

The latest devotionals are familiar from thread 8 although the order has skipped around a little. She's spouting inanities about love, says that you have to surrender all of your will to  God, Christ the cult of starvation and claims that all animals have a future for their species.

Night lies? This false, rash pressure? The attacks?

This is a tad confusing without context but I am going to go ahead and assume that the context is that you want to eat at night and Gwen wants you not to eat, at any time of the day. But have no fear, you will be able to SEE food again. (Just don't swallow.)

[AmazonGrace]

If you're five pounds overweight you might just as well get yourself a harem because, well, why not.

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32495-gwen-shamblin-8-not-smart-enough-to-think/?do=findComment&comment=1797410

(She thinks it's disgusting to have three extra pounds.)

Edited September 15, 2020 by AmazonGrace

[AmazonGrace]

In this episode Gwen attempts to prove that nobody loves you as much and as patiently and unconditionally as God, by showing you that you have to be absolutely wonderful and perfectly obedient in every way, or God gets his feefees hurt and won't let you into Heaven.  We learn that even in Heaven, God feels threatened and undermined by the saints he saved. You were put onto this earth so you could turn into a mindless robot for God, with no free will. You're supposed to think  God is super amazing for allowing Earth to exist for one more day. 

If you do happen get into heaven, you will find out that your life in heaven is just like your life on earth except it takes thousands of years to do the same things that you can do much faster here. 

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32495-gwen-shamblin-8-not-smart-enough-to-think/?do=findComment&comment=1797817

 

[throwaway9988]

7 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

...God gets his feefees hurt and won't let you into Heaven.  We learn that even in Heaven, God feels threatened and undermined by the saints he saved. You were put onto this earth so you could turn into a mindless robot for God, with no free will. You're supposed to think God is super amazing for allowing Earth to exist for one more day. 

Gwen appears to think people should be lining up around the block for a chance to worship her god, who has the same fragile ego and toxic personality as every middle-aged man with multiple domestic violence convictions. Well, she can’t fool me twice. 

[Ozlsn]

On 9/16/2020 at 2:11 AM, AmazonGrace said:

If you're five pounds overweight you might just as well get yourself a harem because, well, why not.

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32495-gwen-shamblin-8-not-smart-enough-to-think/?do=findComment&comment=1797410

(She thinks it's disgusting to have three extra pounds.)

So this harem thing... is it proportional to the number of additional pounds? I mean if I were 100 pounds overweight does this mean my harem is 20 times the size of someone who is only 5 pounds overweight? 

I am less sure that this is the incentive to lose weight that she thinks it is, especially if you  can use harem members to cook and clean.

[AmazonGrace]

The episode in which Gwen's facts checked out, for once. 

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32495-gwen-shamblin-8-not-smart-enough-to-think/?do=findComment&comment=1798477

All God wants from us is everything:

[AmazonGrace]

An excerpt from today's episode of Pro Ana Diaries:

Quote

We learned before that we are to put to death whatever is in our earthly nature. However, what the average person does is spend a lot of time thinking about it. They like to consider giving up the food, hear other people talking about giving up their food, check them out to see that they have not died doing it.

Well yeah, if someone gives up food, checking their vital signs is  mandatory because eventually they will stop having vital signs.

[formergothardite]

3 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

t we are to put to death whatever is in our earthly nature.

Well that explains why Gwen looks like that! She put to death her earthly nature and now looks like something created in some sort of a lab. 

[SuperNova]

On 9/17/2020 at 7:35 AM, AmazonGrace said:

The episode in which Gwen's facts checked out, for once. 

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32495-gwen-shamblin-8-not-smart-enough-to-think/?do=findComment&comment=1798477

All God wants from us is everything:

God can get up and get my heart out of the refrigerator himself if he wants it so bad. His legs aren't broken. Then again, if god is anything like Mr Nova then basically god would be standing in front of the  fridge yelling, 'where's your heart? I can't find it!' until I get up and hand it to him. 

Edited September 18, 2020 by SuperNova

[AmazonGrace]

Quote

When you sing songs and praise God, satan will flee, because he cannot stand to hear a beautiful song toward God.

Satan likes better music.

[Smalltowngirltn]

Do they still teach dance classes at the church or did the teacher get feed up and leave?  For awhile that was a Gwen obsession.  I still remember though that she had bought violins before she ever even had someone to play them because she wanted "true music" in her church.

 

[Blue]

On 9/19/2020 at 2:40 PM, Smalltowngirltn said:

Do they still teach dance classes at the church or did the teacher get feed up and leave?  For awhile that was a Gwen obsession.  I still remember though that she had bought violins before she ever even had someone to play them because she wanted "true music" in her church.

 

Good question! I know a few of the girls who used to do the lessons have moved into marriages and are having babies. I wonder if others have stepped into that role.

[AmazonGrace]

Quote

The time that they finally think everyone has gone to bed and no one is looking is when the room might be full of demons to lie to them and secretly, skillfully tempt them.

If your room is full of demons I suggest you call a competent psychiatrist.

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32495-gwen-shamblin-8-not-smart-enough-to-think/?do=findComment&comment=1799631

 

[CTRLZero]

Food demons are one of my favorite Gwod concepts.  With its rattles and moans, I'm pretty sure an actual demon does reside in my aging refrigerator. 

Here is another Gwodly quote to ponder:  The time that they have selected as an occasion to celebrate with food because something wonderful has happened, is the very time that they should be pensive and sober and on their guard.

Can you picture how a Remnant cult member must act at a birthday/anniversary/retirement party?  Who is that person cowering and paranoid in the corner?  No Fritos for you! 

 

[AmazonGrace]

Gwen jumps around a little, this is a repeat from thread 9. Previously we've been on thread 8.

We learn that WeighDown works for a maximum of two weeks (that's when most people have to start eating something) and that anorexic people get so wrapped up in their thoughts of thinness that they stop functioning socially. Everyone gets mad at them for not eating but they shut it out.

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32677-gwen-shamblin-lara-9-perfecting-hypocrisy/?do=findComment&comment=1822097

 

Quote

You feel so sky-high with God and so sky-high with mankind, you do not even care if someone yells at you or is mean to you—it would not burst your new bubble of focus and hope. The Zone of only eating when hungry and stopping at full gives you spiritual hope and boundless physical energy.

 

[AmazonGrace]

From Facebook: Gwen autographs Bible verses now.

[SpecialAgentCookieCrisp]

 

Funny starting at minute 4:13. However not long before that she talks about a wife submitting to the husband and if a wife doesn't do her husbands laundry with a happy heart, then she's a prostitute, or something equally as dumb. ?

I guess I'm a prostitute. I'm ok with my life choices especially the one where I don't let this wackadoodle try to tell me how to be a servant to my husband in a way that is more pleasing to her god. 

 

[quiversR4hunting]

1 hour ago, SpecialAgentCookieCrisp said:

 

Funny starting at minute 4:13. However not long before that she talks about a wife submitting to the husband and if a wife doesn't do her husbands laundry with a happy heart, then she's a prostitute, or something equally as dumb. ?

I guess I'm a prostitute. I'm ok with my life choices especially the one where I don't let this wackadoodle try to tell me how to be a servant to my husband in a way that is more pleasing to her god. 

 

ok that is some bad acting and I bet Gwen is horrible to wait on in a restaurant. 

Look at her, her hair and make up and body size is normal. She is small but looks healthy. The screenshots @Xan posted above shows how much she has deteriorated. It appears her hair was once full. Her make up also reminds me of funeral makeup. 

 

[AmazonGrace]

The episode in which Gwen thinks eating and spending time with your family are mutually exclusive. If you're starving you will no longer need sleep. https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32677-gwen-shamblin-lara-9-perfecting-hypocrisy/?do=findComment&comment=1822607

Gwen in pictures: You will leap for joy because you fought a valiant battle to prove that God is God. (If Gwen can jump in those heels it must be a miracle.)

In other news, many have perished in the fight to establish that money is money and air is air.

Edited September 23, 2020 by AmazonGrace