Myka Stauffer of The Stauffer Life: Where's Huxley???

[FiveAcres]

This is not snark: what keeps people from killing their "bad fit" adoptee and just telling everyone the child has been rehomed? Look at what is happening in Idaho in the Vallow case: where the custodial parent of record will not produce the children.  It seems insane that they don't at least have to get sign off from a judge. Anything else is trafficking children.

[adidas]

They’re in the Australian news again.

https://honey.nine.com.au/latest/myka-stauffer-adopted-son-with-autism-brands-respond/ccc7bd1a-773b-4290-9172-9c8ac9f72601

[Pleiades_06]

Has anyone watched the video from SixBlindKids?

Spoiler

 

I think they do a very good job of explaining what disruption is all about. They had an adoption disrupted and later adopted children from disruptions. They are very humble in discussing this.  But, as the comments pointed out, there are some key differences between them and the Stauffers:

1) They didn’t broadcast everything for profit (although they do have a YouTube channel).

2) They took responsibility for the failed adoption and didn’t place it on the child. They use language about how THEY couldn’t cope with the child’s needs, they were too young, etc. It feels like Myka and Jim are pushing responsibility on Huxley and the people advising them (medical professionals, etc.) 

Earlier in this thread I commented that Huxley was being homeschooled but actually he was in a preschool and had therapists there. So it does seem like they were reaching out for support. It’s just hard to figure out these people and what they are behind the fake YouTube world.

Edited June 1, 2020 by Pleiades_06

[Queen Of Hearts]

This video from 5 months ago shows a happy little boy who was learning sign language and even talking some. What the hell happened in just a short time after that to make those monsters give up on him? 

 

[Pleiades_06]

5 hours ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

This video from 5 months ago shows a happy little boy who was learning sign language and even talking some. What the hell happened in just a short time after that to make those monsters give up on him? 

 

What happened is YouTube is fake and influencers are the reason why. She showed a carefully curated image that was all a facade. 
 

ETA: He is so adorable 

Edited June 1, 2020 by Pleiades_06

[DarkAnts]

I hate that other youtubers are using this to bring in views to their channels. 

[MirrorMirror]

12 minutes ago, DarkAnts said:

I hate that other youtubers are using this to bring in views to their channels. 

Yeah. My family watches a lot of YouTube, since we decided cable tv was a waste of $$. But on the other hand, I absolutely loathe most "influencers". Anyone using this situation to get views for themselves, is just as bad as the Stauffers in my opinion.

[katilac]

She buys books for decoration ?

On 5/31/2020 at 7:21 PM, FiveAcres said:

This is not snark: what keeps people from killing their "bad fit" adoptee and just telling everyone the child has been rehomed? Look at what is happening in Idaho in the Vallow case: where the custodial parent of record will not produce the children.  It seems insane that they don't at least have to get sign off from a judge. Anything else is trafficking children.

The same thing that keeps people from killing their "bad fit" bio kids and just telling everyone they're staying with someone else: very little. He or she is at boarding school, staying with my aunt, away at camp, living with grandparents, in residential treatment.  

In the Vallo case, there were concerned relatives who reported the kids missing 2 months after anyone last saw them, and enough batshit crazy going on that the police took it seriously. Interestingly enough, that was one bio kid and one adopted kid. 

Granting temporary guardianship (usually up to 6 months) is pretty quick and easy in the states, and there are valid reasons for keeping it that way. If you're legit sending the kids to relatives for the summer, you want to be able to let them make decisions and get medical care. Permanent guardianship is meant to involve the courts, but some states have loopholes, and not going through the proper channels is generally just a misdemeanor anyway.  

Parents in the states have a tremendous amount of control over their children, and we usually don't think twice about it. Any changes to the laws regarding guardianship would have to apply to bio kids as well as adopted. The rights of parents and the right to privacy of both parents and kids carry a heavy weight versus changes to the law that would make already rare practices more difficult. 

[smittykins]

1 hour ago, katilac said:

The same thing that keeps people from killing their "bad fit" bio kids and just telling everyone they're staying with someone else: very little. He or she is at boarding school, staying with my aunt, away at camp, living with grandparents, in residential treatment.  

Or, in the pre-Roe V. Wade days, telling everyone that your teenage daughter suddenly went to visit “a sick aunt” while in reality, you shipped her off to a maternity home to have a baby(often without pain medication to “teach her a lesson”), guilt her into giving it up for adoption, and return home expecting her to pretend that nothing ever happened.

[Olivia Marie]

For anyone interested, Without A Crystal Ball-Katie, released a video about an hour ago.   She has done several videos this past week on the Stauffer’s.   She seems to have her details together before she posts.  Some very interesting facts this past week.   As of now, the Delaware County Sheriff’s office, along with other agencies, have launched an investigation regarding little Huxley.   

[older than allosaurs]

There have been a number of cases involving international adoptees who turned out not to be U.S. citizens, and in some cases faced deportation. That can happen due to clerical errors on the government's part, or because the adoption was never finalized, or because the adoptive parents didn't file necessary paperwork. This came up in some of the fundy adoptions we've talked about, especially when the agencies were unlicensed and/or shady.

I hope the investigation clarifies his citizenship status as well as the other circumstances.

[Glasgowghirl]

1 hour ago, Olivia Marie said:

For anyone interested, Without A Crystal Ball-Katie, released a video about an hour ago.   She has done several videos this past week on the Stauffer’s.   She seems to have her details together before she posts.  Some very interesting facts this past week.   As of now, the Delaware County Sheriff’s office, along with other agencies, have launched an investigation regarding little Huxley.   

I wouldn't trust Katie she is wrong about a lot of the stuff she posts and picks fights with people who corrects her, she is like the Duggar blogger Pickles. 

[hoipolloi]

2 minutes ago, Glasgowghirl said:

I wouldn't trust Katie she is wrong about a lot of the stuff she posts and picks fights with people who corrects her, she is like the Duggar blogger Pickles. 

Have only watched this one video of hers -- which is perhaps an example of the dead clock idiom -- but I thought that she made a lot of sense. 

My takeaways:

(1) Huxley appears to be have been moved to another home, possibly outside of OH, with no apparent official oversight or involvement by an adoption or child welfare agency.

(2) The competent legal authorities (county officials where the Stauffers live) appear to be investigating Huxley's whereabouts, which is totally something that can be done in such cases (e.g., the welfare checks on the missing children of Lori Daybell). The Stauffers will *have* to respond to these inquiries with concrete information. We may not hear the details but we would hear if the Stauffers refused or were unable to provide such information. We would probably also hear if Huxley is located and is OK.

(3) She goes into some detail about the problematic nature of many international adoptions AND gets in some righteous hits on fundies & quiverfull. Much of what she says about problematic international adoptions we have already covered here.

(4) She presents some background information on Myka's online activities prior to the recent uproar. They shed some light on the dynamics of the situation and, unfortunately, make it much clearer that the Stauffers should never have gotten to the point of completing an international adoption of a child with special needs.

[HereComesTreble]

Just saw this thread. Popping in to say, as both an autism parent and as a human being, these people are the

woooooooorst.

[Jasmar]

Two of my kids are autistic, and one is also medically fragile. Did I ever think, in my wildest dreams during pregnancy, that this would be the case? No. But there is NOTHING that would even make me consider giving up. These people make me sick, and ragey.

[Glasgowghirl]

According to the Daily Mail the Delaware County sheriff's office are now seeking to locate Huxley to make sure he is ok as their have been conflicting information on his whereabouts and to investigate how he was rehomed. Glad it is being investigated. 

[Queen Of Hearts]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8381649/Ohio-sheriffs-office-trying-locate-YouTube-star-Myka-Stauffers-autistic-son.html?fbclid=IwAR0yrW0UzQdG7CnqQTT05lzwr-kELX8uw45UJeiCtgEDPWPrJKq5iFtZxB0

 

For the first time since this began I am starting to worry if little Huxley is even alive. Sure hope my worries are unfounded.

[Toothfairy]

I hope Huxley won't be deported back to China. In international adoption, adoptive parents have to pay and fill put additional paperwork to make their adopted child a US citizen. Knowing Myka and her husband, they probably didn't do this. 

[Toothfairy]

International adoption has many flaws. Many countries closed down due to corruption, kids were being stolen and closed down because Americans would adopt then rehome or murder the child. Adopting from China you have to be healthy, have a net worth of $80k, meet income requirements, and other requirements. China mostly has special need children available for adoption. 

What happens is the adoptive parents don't even learn the language and expect the child to love them and be grateful for them. Myka said the child wasn't bonding or understood English. I remember an adoptive parent calling her child's country a mess and dirty. 

 

Every child has trauma. As a foster parent and adoptive parent you have to parent differently because their circumstances are different. I've had broken items, doors, hospitalizations, lying, stealing, food issues, etc. These kids need to know you're there. They often test you. Imagine being abandoned by one family. You test your adoptive/foster parents commitment to you. Unconditional love is what should happen. Many people don't educate themselves or think they'll try it out or live a fantasy. Myka adopted for money and views. Adoption is seen as the new trend. I've fostered and adopted kids who were rehomed. Trust me, that pain still lingers. Abandoned twice. The forever family is a lie. It happens in every adoption. There are even kids adopted at birth rehomed. Many rehoming situations happens with no oversight. You can go online post your adopted child and basically send the child away to the person you met online. It's a huge issue in the adoption community. We need oversight and  higher requirements. I have a feeling Myka was approved because she's white and upperclass. So yes money. Holt adoption agency is also a problematic agency. 

[Toothfairy]

On 5/28/2020 at 5:51 PM, FiddleDD said:

It had been suggested on other sites (and I can't help but wonder) that they didn't expect him to live long. When they adopted him the information that were given was that he had a brain tumor. (Someone on another site said large but I never followed them so I can't be sure) It turned out not to be true, but they didn't know that when they brought him home.

Personally, if I was picking a child to adopt I can't imagine choosing one that had a brain tumor. It would be terrifying. I would consider a lot of more severe special needs first. My knee-jerk reaction to learning this was that they either didn't expect him to live long or that he was the more physically attractive choice. (Which sadly seems a likely consideration for an"influencer")

I really prefer to think the best of people, but people like the Stauffers really make it hard. Poor Huxley.

This is sad and I'm outraged more. I bet she was going to use this too if he did die for views. Myka is sick. 

[hoipolloi]

56 minutes ago, Toothfairy said:

I hope Huxley won't be deported back to China.

I also had this fear.

If -- and this is a big IF -- the former WACAP adoption agency they used had the same policies as its now-parent company, Holt, then it looks like applying for the child's US citizenship is a mandatory part of their process. 

I will feel better when authorities locate Huxley and verify that he is doing well.

[Giraffe]

4 minutes ago, hoipolloi said:

I will feel better when authorities locate Huxley and verify that he is doing well.

I'm hoping we get at least that much information, too. 

[Space Cake]

I am disgusted by the lack of blame and vitriol being publicly directed at James Stauffer. Disgusted, not surprised.

Edited June 3, 2020 by Space Cake

[Glasgowghirl]

1 hour ago, Space Cake said:

I am disgusted by the lack of blame and vitriol being publicly directed at James Stauffer. Disgusted, not surprised.

James is getting it to, It was Myka who posted about Huxley on youtube most and who is most active on social media so she got most of the anger directed at her but no one is letting James off. 

[Tatar-tot]

6 hours ago, Toothfairy said:

I hope Huxley won't be deported back to China. In international adoption, adoptive parents have to pay and fill put additional paperwork to make their adopted child a US citizen. Knowing Myka and her husband, they probably didn't do this. 

The child now automatically has citizenship once he lands on US soil.  The laws were changed around 2002.