Maxwell 38: Forgotten Jesse and the Spinsters Have to Replace the Vests for the Wedding

[Jigsaw3]

If Anna Maxwell has "a heart for children", then Steve, you should allow her to marry so she can have children of her own. It's possible she enjoys being a hands-on aunt, but it's more likely, having been raised in your fucked-up fertility cult, that what she really wants is her own children. So stop being a barrier and let her meet and actually spend time with Godly Young Men.

If Chelsy's Bontrager connections helped Jesse meet Anna Craig (unknown, but possible), I hope that Chelsy can work some more matchmaking magic and find Anna Maxwell some potential partners.  The Maxwell single women missed out on a large fundie social opportunity at this wedding due to the pandemic restrictions, but maybe they'll offer to help out Allison Bontrager with her wedding planning and be invited to that doubtless huge fiesta. Or maybe Anna Craig's extended family and friends will turn up some single and available men. I hope so, because if Anna and Mary want to get married and have kids, then I want that for them too.

As for the absence of Elissa and Joe and their kids, it's growing increasingly obvious, and it's more suspicious that there's no reason given at this point. A simple "The kids got sick and they decided they couldn't travel" (or whatever) would garner the sympathy of every parent who has ever cleaned up puke instead of attending a much-anticipated event. Steve and Teri try to control the information so much that they miss that sometimes a simple explanation will quiet the speculation.

 

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, FloraKitty35 said:

Even though I don't agree with any of her views on abortion and spouting lies and mistruths to young children.  I liked reading Anna Marie's blog entries, because she is a better writer than Sarah.  

Not only a better writer, but based on her recent posts explaining her illness, a more educated person all around. Anna Marie clearly has a firm grasp as to her condition and treatment plan, and has done a good job explaining it in the blog. I’m not so sure that Sarah would be as succinct or informed if she was the patient or the writer.

[louannems]

3 hours ago, CyborgKin said:

I feel like Sarah is really trying with her captions.  I don't know what she's trying, but she's definitely failing at it.

Sarah's caption about the Craig's "helping" by also taking photos seems like she was annoyed by them. Like only Maxwells should be doing it.

[Bethy]

1 hour ago, Jigsaw3 said:

As for the absence of Elissa and Joe and their kids, it's growing increasingly obvious, and it's more suspicious that there's no reason given at this point. A simple "The kids got sick and they decided they couldn't travel" (or whatever) would garner the sympathy of every parent who has ever cleaned up puke instead of attending a much-anticipated event. Steve and Teri try to control the information so much that they miss that sometimes a simple explanation will quiet the speculation.

I wonder if someone needed to stay local for GiGi? I can't imagine that (a) it would be a good idea to leave a woman who's near 90 and has some mobility issues home alone without any relatives near enough to call, and (b) that they have close friends in the neighborhood with whom GiGi could be entrusted. Maybe Joseph volunteered for that duty, Obviously John and Chelsy would go, since much of her family would be there, and maybe Nate and Mel's kids were more excited about the wedding than Joe and Elissa's, so they volunteered as tribute? As photographers, Christopher and Sarah HAD to go. Anna/Mary would be needed not just as bridesmaids, but childcare for Christopher's kids. Come to think of it, we see from the pictures that Nate's older girls were supervising cousins during the ceremony - that would have given Nate's family more "value" in Ohio than Joseph's as his oldest is only about four and wouldn't be a very good cousin-mom yet - plus that traveling would have created the need for yet MORE baby/toddler care at the wedding. But that doesn't explain why Elissa couldn't stay home with the kids/check in on GiGi and send Joseph to do the wide stance with the rest of the brothers.

I was starting to think that they might have sequestered one family unit away from the wedding (and the non-social-distanced Bonts) so as to be a safe resource for GiGi afterward, but then I remembered the mask-free not-six-feet-apart birthday parade and that theory flew right out the window.

Edited June 6, 2020 by Bethy
riffle and more conspiracy theories

[Jigsaw3]

@Bethy, definitely possible that Elissa and Joe stayed behind with Gigi, good point. But even then, all it takes is a simple explanation: "We didn't want to leave Gigi alone and Joseph's family volunteered to stay." Very Christian and self-sacrificing, very family-oriented. Very praiseworthy.

It's a small thing in the grand scheme of Steve and Teri, but they do this over and over again: they don't explain perfectly reasonable things and then they blow up into a bigger deal.

[SPHASH]

Was Melanie there?  Didn't see her.  Didn't see Drew, Tina. and Debbie either.

Edited June 6, 2020 by SPHASH
ETA

[Bethy]

9 minutes ago, louannems said:

Sarah's caption about the Craig's "helping" by also taking photos seems like she was annoyed by them. Like only Maxwells should be doing it.

As a photographer, I can kind of understand this. When I've shot weddings, I just tell friends and family to shoot along, but tell the subjects that my camera is the ONLY one they're to be looking at, because otherwise we end up with the one bridesmaid who cheeses for her boyfriend's camera and looks silly because everyone else is looking at my camera and she's looking away. Also, depending on how their strobe/flash/umbrella system works (I'm assuming the Maxes have one) a stray flash CAN trigger that and I was at a wedding once where a guest's camera shorted out one of the professional photographer's flashes. Also I was a guest at one wedding where the photographer had it in his contract that no one was allowed to shoot along with any of the group photos at the end. Apparently he considered the poses/groupings to be his intellectual property, not just the photos themselves.

This is the Maxes, so it could be them acting self-important, or they could have just been concerned about losing time to distractions from other shooters. Especially since it looks like they hopped in their cars and booked it home as soon as the bride and groom groom and bride drove away.

[anjulibai]

Gigi has a bunch of friends in the area. I would think the Maxwells would be able to call on them to help out for something like a wedding. 

[Bethy]

2 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

Gigi has a bunch of friends in the area. I would think the Maxwells would be able to call on them to help out for something like a wedding. 

There's "friends that drive by at your party" and there's "friends you would actually call if you fell and couldn't get up." Honestly, as someone who's provided care for aging relatives, I wouldn't be comfortable leaning on friends while being several states away. 

7 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

Was Melanie there?  Didn't see her.  Didn't see Drew, Betsy, and Debbie either.

Hmm...now that you mention it, no, I don't remember seeing her. That's clearly Abby holding Elizabeth in the ceremony. I thought it was Betsy in the row with her, but I sometimes get her and Tina mixed up. Maybe Deborah blew a diaper and they were cleaning up in the nursery? I mean, you can blanket train all you want, but there's no way to "train" diaper blowouts out of a kid.

This is a mystery that MIGHT get solved when the Maxes post their official portraits. Though I don't know if they would have bothered to try to get a "whole family with the happy couple" shot considering how many were missing. My family probably wouldn't have.

[Coconut Flan]

2 hours ago, Tangy Bee said:

Tried a vegan diet for 1 week just to prove I could do it. Cheated one night by eating 3 cookies. I decided vegan breakfast and lunch is not so bad. It's with dinner that I really struggled. Didn't know Steve was trying a vegan diet. Thought he was fasting again.

Steve is on a strict heart health diet  which is basically a vegan diet.  It's what cardiologists recommend these days and I've been helping my neighbor who had a heart attack last year adapt to it as one of my kids is vegetarian and was willing to share recipes and advice. 

[PennySycamore]

3 hours ago, Tangy Bee said:

Tried a vegan diet for 1 week just to prove I could do it. Cheated one night by eating 3 cookies. I decided vegan breakfast and lunch is not so bad. It's with dinner that I really struggled. Didn't know Steve was trying a vegan diet. Thought he was fasting again.

If you'd eaten Oreos, you would not have been cheating.  Current Oreos are vegan.  That was not always the case.  Oreos used to have lard in them.  That's the reason why many Jews ate Hydrox cookies instead.

[ElizaB]

2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Not only a better writer, but based on her recent posts explaining her illness, a more educated person all around. Anna Marie clearly has a firm grasp as to her condition and treatment plan, and has done a good job explaining it in the blog. I’m not so sure that Sarah would be as succinct or informed if she was the patient or the writer.

I also like her posts because she seems to actually be a peace with her life. Despite the fact that her posts are about something horrible (her cancer) you can tell that she is definitely happy with the direction her life has gone in. This is a stark contrast to Sarah. 

[Bethy]

40 minutes ago, ElizaB said:

I also like her posts because she seems to actually be a peace with her life. Despite the fact that her posts are about something horrible (her cancer) you can tell that she is definitely happy with the direction her life has gone in. This is a stark contrast to Sarah. 

I have to think that Sarah's pain may be part of the reason (or the whole reason) why her captions have been more stilted  than usual. She's now seen three younger brothers married. Each new sister-in-law (referring just to the last three) seems to lean just a liiiiiittle further away from her father's way of life. (We now have a SIL who MIGHT even have post-secondary education!) If she's loyal to her father's brand, she's probably resenting these SILs for taking her brothers away from the life they "should" be living. If she's seeing greener pastures, it has to be even harder to watch her brothers have some measure of "escape."

Plus, consider this: ten years ago we speculated that seeing Christopher marry Anna was tough for Sarah (even though someone who claimed a personal connection to the Maxes said that she encouraged the match) as Anna is 4-5 years younger than Sarah. A decade later, 38-year-old Sarah has a SIL who's just a few days out of her teens. And Sarah is still bunking in with her much younger sisters and writing Moody-flavored books for what's left of their following. Even if she really secretly doesn't WANT to raise [more] children (because let's face it, she probably raised the groom they just married off, as well as the two bridesmaids who are now her roommates) in her circles, marriage is an achievement, a lifetime goal earned. She hasn't achieved and she hasn't earned. It's likely not even her fault. I feel for her.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

On 6/3/2020 at 10:40 AM, usedbicycle said:

Therefore it's sweet that she wants to go by Tia and she could teach the grandchildren some Spanish. 

Unless a Spanish speaking culture is actually part of her heritage I think this is really weird.

I have none in my ethnic background so it would be weird if I wanted to be referred to as senora or even asked my nieces and nephews to call me Tia.

she speaks Spanish because she wants to God bother Catholics...I find it off putting. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

If you'd eaten Oreos, you would not have been cheating.  Current Oreos are vegan.  That was not always the case.  Oreos used to have lard in them.  That's the reason why many Jews ate Hydrox cookies instead.

Also surprisingly vegan Pillsbury crescent rolls.

Their buttery goodness doesn’t come from butter.

I know Steve has to be a huge road block but the reality is a lot of people the ages of Anna and Mary are single despite not wanting to be.  Dating sites make a fortune hooking people up yet many lovely people struggle to find a long term partner.

Just saying if they were more mainstream and dating they might still well be single with no marriage prospects.  

[Odd1Out]

4 hours ago, louannems said:

Sarah's caption about the Craig's "helping" by also taking photos seems like she was annoyed by them. Like only Maxwells should be doing it.

Was she referring to the Craig’s? John is the one taking a cell phone pic while sarah is photographing. I just thought she was talking about the groom and groomsman offering ‘advice’ while she was shooting. 

[crunchycarrots]

On 6/5/2020 at 11:50 AM, crunchycarrots said:

Yes, or some form of post-secondary education. I’m too lazy to look it up again right now, but a while back I was researching her online and found that she was trained in the medical field, maybe as a phlebotomist or a nurses aid or some kind of tech. I can’t remember. Again, maybe someone with a little more time and motivation can find the details- it’s almost noon here and I’m still in my PJs and the dog needs a walk soon, so I’ve got to shower and get dressed.

OK, I think I might be suffering from corona madness after all these months of being in quarantine with my kids. I spent a lot of time last night trying to find this information and I couldn't find any of it.  I must have dreamt it up!  Sorry folks.  But ,according to various online sources, Laura Craig is 4 years older than her husband George Craig, which I find intriguing.  

Edited June 6, 2020 by crunchycarrots
Clarity

[PennySycamore]

1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Also surprisingly vegan Pillsbury crescent rolls.

Their buttery goodness doesn’t come from butter.

I know Steve has to be a huge road block but the reality is a lot of people the ages of Anna and Mary are single despite not wanting to be.  Dating sites make a fortune hooking people up yet many lovely people struggle to find a long term partner.

Just saying if they were more mainstream and dating they might still well be single with no marriage prospects.  

My niece decided after she's spent a semester in Italy that she wanted Nonna to be what her kids called my sister.  Yep, my sister became Nonna.  I don't know what she would have picked to be her Grandma name.  I chose to be Grams because I was watching a lot of Charmed at the time and I found the Halliwell sisters' Grams to be a kindred spirit.  

[Melissa1977]

5 hours ago, SPHASH said:

Was Melanie there?  Didn't see her.  Didn't see Drew, Tina. and Debbie either.

I think Tina was watching the rehearsal. Benjamin was there with Sarah, so I suppose Drew was also around.

For a long time, Abby has been looking tired and sad. Looks a bit like Miriam Anderson. While I'm sure Abby has a much better life than Miriam, the burden of chores and responsibilities at that age is burning their joy. Where are their friends? Where are their hobbies? Their privacy? It's so depressing.

Edited June 6, 2020 by Melissa1977
Spelling

[HerNameIsBuffy]

37 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

I think Tina was watching the rehearsal. Benjamin was there with Sarah, so I suppose Drew was also around.

For a long time, Abby has been looking tired and sad. Looks a bit like Miriam Anderson. While I'm sure Abby has a much better life than Miriam, the burden of chores and responsibilities at that age is burning their joy. Where are their friends? Where are their hobbies? Their privacy? It's so depressing.

It’s such a difficult age, even without the isolation of maxhell.  I was at the mercy of my moods at that age and it was hard enough to stay civil sometimes.  I can’t imagine going through the tween years and being expected to keep sweet all the time.

[VVV]

2 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

It’s such a difficult age, even without the isolation of maxhell.  I was at the mercy of my moods at that age and it was hard enough to stay civil sometimes.  I can’t imagine going through the tween years and being expected to keep sweet all the time.

Not to mention that she is permitted exactly zero friends. This is the prime age for learning from, playing and giggling with, and bonding with peers, and she isn’t allowed to have any. That poor girl. She will never get these years back.

[feministxtian]

My friends' kids call me "Tia Loca" (crazy aunt). Hey...it's accurate! My dad's cousin was TiaAnnie, even though it was the German side of the family. It worked! I'm also "Nona" to my grandkids. I didn't like "Grandma", I was WAY too young to be that. "Abuela" is a mouthful for little ones, so we went with that. It was more my daughter's idea than mine. I would have been fine with "yo bitch"...speaking of...less than 6 weeks until new baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bethy]

5 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I know Steve has to be a huge road block but the reality is a lot of people the ages of Anna and Mary are single despite not wanting to be.  Dating sites make a fortune hooking people up yet many lovely people struggle to find a long term partner.

Just saying if they were more mainstream and dating they might still well be single with no marriage prospects.  

Yes, but in the real world, these girls would have options: go to a bar, join a gym, change churches, blind date set up by a friend, take a job transfer to a different city, online dating sites. Sure, they might still be single even with those opportunities, but at least in the real world they would HAVE them. What do the Maxgirls have? Face paint and balloon animals and waiting for Daddy Steve to find them the love of their lives, while their brothers get married.

[Caroline]

6 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Unless a Spanish speaking culture is actually part of her heritage I think this is really weird.

I have none in my ethnic background so it would be weird if I wanted to be referred to as senora or even asked my nieces and nephews to call me Tia.

she speaks Spanish because she wants to God bother Catholics...I find it off putting. 

I agree with you.  I teach French and Spanish and have lived in France and Spain at different times in my life.   I'm a decent speaker of those two languages, but the UN won't be calling me to interpret for anyone because I'm not a native speaker of either language. I admire many things about both cultures, but appropriating a name like that from another culture  is not my style either. My heritage is Irish, and if I'm ever a grandmother I'll take a title from that culture.  

In the same vein:  Tom Mills who fancies himself a Spanish speaker.  So funny and pompous.  We in American culture are really clueless about what fluency is and how much time and experience  it takes to make that claim (unless of course you were brought up speaking that language).  

[Caroline]

6 hours ago, Bethy said:

I have to think that Sarah's pain may be part of the reason (or the whole reason) why her captions have been more stilted  than usual. She's now seen three younger brothers married. Each new sister-in-law (referring just to the last three) seems to lean just a liiiiiittle further away from her father's way of life. (We now have a SIL who MIGHT even have post-secondary education!) If she's loyal to her father's brand, she's probably resenting these SILs for taking her brothers away from the life they "should" be living. If she's seeing greener pastures, it has to be even harder to watch her brothers have some measure of "escape."

Plus, consider this: ten years ago we speculated that seeing Christopher marry Anna was tough for Sarah (even though someone who claimed a personal connection to the Maxes said that she encouraged the match) as Anna is 4-5 years younger than Sarah. A decade later, 38-year-old Sarah has a SIL who's just a few days out of her teens. And Sarah is still bunking in with her much younger sisters and writing Moody-flavored books for what's left of their following. Even if she really secretly doesn't WANT to raise [more] children (because let's face it, she probably raised the groom they just married off, as well as the two bridesmaids who are now her roommates) in her circles, marriage is an achievement, a lifetime goal earned. She hasn't achieved and she hasn't earned. It's likely not even her fault. I feel for her.

We have one child, a daughter who's 22.  She finished her BA last May and is half-way through a MFA. My husband and I value higher education, and our daughter, who was always academically inclined, was encouraged to go to college.  She has also been encouraged to explore in greater depth all of her strengths, to work at a job, and to have a variety of friends and relationships.  We would be happy for her if she found someone to spend the rest of her adult life with.  My point is that parents can encourage their children to do many things while still hoping for their future happiness with someone they choose to love and marry (or not).  A lot of fundies seem to think that parents actively discourage their daughters from marrying while only encouraging college.  It's like saying that all feminists hate men.  Very uninformed are they.

Also:  I had the impression that the new Maxwell bride's mother had a BA in music. I can't imagine the very young new bride has much education beyond high school, unless she took dual enrollment type classes while in high school like lots of kids at my school do.  But, if you're homeschooled I don't know how that works.