Maxwell 38: Forgotten Jesse and the Spinsters Have to Replace the Vests for the Wedding

[Caroline]

Since you mentioned Roe vs Wade, you should check out "I am Jane Roe" on Netflix.  One of the Evangelicals who helped exploit her story admits that she was being used as their pro-life puppet.  The other Evangelical not so much.  Very interesting story.

[NancyDrewFan1989]

I just saw the new Anna Marie Maxwell update. It looks like Christopher made it to Washington and shaved his head. I read the post twice and I can't help but wonder if he did so in support of her losing her hair. If so, then that was very sweet of him.

[NancyDrewFan1989]

On 5/24/2020 at 10:24 AM, mango_fandango said:

The bridesmaids wore necklaces in Chelsy’s wedding. I’m guessing that was Chelsy’s choice, though.

Chelsy did a blog post on the "beautiful" bridesmaids dresses she found and why she picked them. She said she wanted something not frumpy that can fit everyone. She basically went on amazon and picked a maternity dress for them to wear because it was easy to outfit all them.

[MamaJunebug]

44 minutes ago, NancyDrewFan1989 said:

I just saw the new Anna Marie Maxwell update. It looks like Christopher made it to Washington and shaved his head. I read the post twice and I can't help but wonder if he did so in support of her losing her hair. If so, then that was very sweet of him.

I’m in the minority in not disliking Christopher’s much as a lot of folks here. I’d be willing to bet five dollars that he shaved his head so that His wife wouldn’t feel as awkward and also so that the children saw that it’s no big deal to be without hair for a while.

Ana had a stern upbringing/training, and her ever present smile is on the face of a woman who tells her children that some mommies kill their babies inside their body.

I don’t like her, but I have a feeling that the stability of her childhood, along with what apparently was good homeschooling - given her writing ability -  has brought something to Christopher’s life that he was lacking before.

Namely, the mother of his children enjoys being a mom, probably enjoys homeschooling and does it well, and provides a much more positive atmosphere in the home than Teri ever did.  

Thus, whatever tenancy he has toward being a warm, every day human being is enhanced in a way it never was in his family of origin. I can’t remember whether it was he or Nate who partnered with Sarah to raise the children while Teri was sleeping in depression. Thinking it was Nate.

But possibly Chris remembers some of that, too, and it brings out his humanity in his attitude toward His wife and their children, To understand the dysfunction that he and his brother and sister endured.

[church_of_dog]

One thing that looks odd (for Maxwells) in the Anna/Jesse photo is that her posture seems like the dominant role (standing straight up) and he seems to be in the submissive/accommodating role (leaning backwards).

Absolutely nothing wrong with that dynamic, of course, but it doesn't seem to fit the usual Maxwell narrative.  

I hope the young couple does things in whatever way works for them, and the more it makes Steve squirm, the better.

[BlessingsVonFundiePants]

Christopher, don’t go to a  wedding, travel on planes, walk through airports and then hug A chemo patient. ffs.

[Lgirlrocks]

10 hours ago, Caroline said:

Since you mentioned Roe vs Wade, you should check out "I am Jane Roe" on Netflix.  One of the Evangelicals who helped exploit her story admits that she was being used as their pro-life puppet.  The other Evangelical not so much.  Very interesting story.

I watched aka Jane roe on Hulu. It was such a sad story. She pissed a lot of people off by lying. 

[nelliebelle1197]

On 5/20/2020 at 10:55 AM, smittykins said:

I’ve never shopped there, but I love looking at the online catalog.  Manual typewriter!  Personal CD player(which I’m seriously thinking about getting)!  Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific shampoo!

@daisyjane1234, I too am so very sorry for your loss. 

You just sent me down a two hour rabbit hole with my 9 year old, watching commercials from the 70s!

[Jana814]

32 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

I watched aka Jane roe on Hulu. It was such a sad story. She pissed a lot of people off by lying. 

I saw it too. She definitely did! 

[Keysia]

17 hours ago, Granwych said:

I've been to one fundie wedding and  that's enough.  Grampwych and I went  because I knew the bride since she was two years old (she was seventeen at her wedding ) and Gramp went because his ex wife's brother had been an assistant pastor at the bride's  independent fundamentalist KJ only Baptist church.   The whole time was a crashing bore, from the pastor giving a sermon about sin to no caffeinated let alone alcoholic beverages served.   We got stuck at a table with a very dull couple who gave thanks over the pigs-in-a-blanket appetizers and every course thereafter.  We couldn't get out fast enough and when I found my coat someone had stolen the brooch I'd fastened to the lapel.

The couple had a kid right away.   Kid was three when the wife walked away from the marriage.   No surprise to me.

 

 

 

 

I think the sermon about sin didn't sink enough into the fundie mind to prevent theft....

faith is a gift and not something to show off.

 

[Melissa1977]

2 hours ago, BlessingsVonFundiePants said:

Christopher, don’t go to a  wedding, travel on planes, walk through airports and then hug A chemo patient. ffs.

I get your point. But he can keep his mask on all the time, change clothes and shower before visiting her, not hug, wear gloves etc. But at least, see her, talk to her in person etc.

She seems to be really ill. I hope she will recover, but I think it must be very difficult not to see your wife in that moment. 

Christopher and Anna Marie does not act foolish. If he goes, there is probably a reason.

[fundiefan]

I am glad Anna was released from the hospital & hope she is healthy enough to resume chemo. 

For as much as I dislike Prissy Chris, and abhor their beliefs, to me he's always seemed to truly love his wife/kids/family. Not an obligation love, not a "Christian" love, but actual, emotional, heart driven love. If he shaved his head for her, no snark, it is between them and his way of showing his support. 

I do question his wedding attendance and air travel immediately prior to being in the same space as his wife. But, there are emotions and other issues that can take priority and I can't really fault them for wanting to be together; him to support her and her to have him to lean on. Even if you have your parents/family, your husband is still usually your main support & love, and having him present, even for a little while during a very traumatic, trying time, can do wonders for the soul. 

I hope they are taking every precaution and I am happy Anna has him there right now. 

[SassyPants]

I’m thinking he went to the wedding because of his big brood of kids. The people who help him care for the kids needed to be at the wedding, and it would have been a lot to ask them to transport his 5 kids to and fro and deal with them alone, as their son and brother was tying the knot. Were the girls in the wedding party, as that would have complicated the situation even more. I think he chose the least caustic option. He’s in a horrible, rock and hard spot situation. Anna Marie is in a tougher one. I’m guessing religion, scripture and prayer is a good thing for them right now.

[SassyPants]

Just sharing some thoughts on this entire situation. In a less rigid family, one where adult people are allowed to live their own lives, pick their own partners, form their own belief and value systems, perhaps alternative choices would have been made. When did Jesse start courting, and when did they get engaged? In a more modern family, perhaps the wedding would have been postponed a bit, maybe until Covid was less of a threat and a sister-in-law wasn’t away getting cancer treatments? Where’s the common sense? 
Why do these folks seemingly have to rush marriage and parenthood? Is it because of the sex? It seems they make things way more complicated than they need to be.

[Coconut Flan]

Normal people can adjust plans.  Steve is so rigid that adjusting any plan or schedule already made doesn't even occur to him.  

[fundiefan]

I think some has to do with the sex. Some has to do with "once god says get married, we have to get married now". Some has to do with not accommodating anyone but yourself & your schedule. 

My niece & her fiance postponed their wedding from June to September - pretty sure I've mentioned that somewhere. But, god did not tell them to get married. Their parents had nothing to do with them starting a relationship. They own a house together already. They've been together for three  years. They *gasp* have the sex. So, postponing was nothing more than postponing the wedding/legal part of their relationship. The world will not end. Of course there was stress and there were tears. But, again, god had no part in it so grown adults made the decision that was best for them and their families/friends. And their relationship was not put on hold or postponed - just the wedding. In non fundie land, there is a distinct difference between the two. 

And, that's just the changed wedding I am closest to. I know of three others that have done the same in some way or another. 

I don't at all discount the emotional disappointment couples face with having to change/postpone wedding plans. But, when it's not tied up with religion and god and your father and keeping your purity and not being tempted -  it ultimately comes down to basic, factual, tangible things when making decisions. 

Edited May 26, 2020 by fundiefan

[llg1234]

2 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

I get your point. But he can keep his mask on all the time, change clothes and shower before visiting her, not hug, wear gloves etc. But at least, see her, talk to her in person etc.

She seems to be really ill. I hope she will recover, but I think it must be very difficult not to see your wife in that moment. 

Christopher and Anna Marie does not act foolish. If he goes, there is probably a reason.

Unless Chris has been wearing a N95 mask OR has been wearing a regular mask with everyone else around him also wearing masks (which I very much doubt), he is still susceptible to the virus. Regular masks don't guarantee protection so much as they keep you from spreading your germs to other people. This is why it's so important for everyone to wear a mask. 

 And he's pictured on the blog right next to her, so I'm guessing there was hugging also.

[Bethy]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

Just sharing some thoughts on this entire situation. In a less rigid family, one where adult people are allowed to live their own lives, pick their own partners, form their own belief and value systems, perhaps alternative choices would have been made. When did Jesse start courting, and when did they get engaged? In a more modern family, perhaps the wedding would have been postponed a bit, maybe until Covid was less of a threat and a sister-in-law wasn’t away getting cancer treatments? Where’s the common sense? 
Why do these folks seemingly have to rush marriage and parenthood? Is it because of the sex? It seems they make things way more complicated than they need to be.

Another thing fundies like to hold onto is that the WEDDING doesn't matter a bit, and that more of the focus should be on preparing for the MARRIAGE. I was in a fundie-lite church when we got married and we did premarital counseling with an absolutely horrid book. I could spend days spewing about the toxic masculinity it promoted but let's skip to the part where the book actually said it wasn't important to spend any time planning the WEDDING because that didn't matter. It actually said the bride and groom should wait until the very last session to even BEGIN discussing the fine points of the wedding ceremony/reception because that doesn't really matter, only the lifetime of MARRIAGE afterward. It's a nice sentiment, because in reality, yes, the wedding is only a day, but it's not like the details of your wedding are going to just be able to toss themselves together in the last week or two before the ceremony. And maybe, beyond frugality necessitated by grinding poverty, this is why so many fundie weddings come off cheap and tacky. Because they view it as an unnecessary luxury to have a nice wedding.

Where am I going with this? Well, if they view MARRIAGE as the important end goal, then no, the WEDDING didn't really matter. Could happen in somebody's backyard. Maybe it did. We'll know when we see pictures. Doesn't matter about the pandemic or the sick sister-in-law. Doesn't matter that the poor bride only got one chance at having a nice wedding and she probably got that taken away. Because all that matters is that they are now MARRIED for life.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 minutes ago, Bethy said:

Another thing fundies like to hold onto is that the WEDDING doesn't matter a bit, and that more of the focus should be on preparing for the MARRIAGE.

That's my view as well.

Well, not that the wedding doesn't matter at all, but it's one day and marriage is (hopefully) for a lifetime.

I've known too many people who hyperfocus on every detail of their big day and don't bother to make sure they are on the same page with whether or not to have kids or major goals.  I knew a couple who spent over $90k on their wedding, maxed out every credit card, and had to move in with his parents for over a year because they didn't have money for a place to live.

A wedding is a milestone and yes, if they want to have one they should do what they want within their budget, but focusing on the marriage over a ceremony and party is smart, imo.

[ElizaB]

I think a point that was made before is a lot of the fundies we follow do spend a lot of time/effort on the wedding- but none in the areas that actually matter to the experience that the guests have. For instance, at Josephs wedding John rented a helium tank for the sole purpose of filling balloons to put in the bride and grooms getaway vehicle. They also seem to spend hours getting ready the morning of the wedding and then spend very little time at the wedding itself. They spend so much effort getting ready for the rehearsal dinner-which is large with their huge bridal parties. 

Not that everything should revolve around their guests; however, the guest experience just really doesn't seem to be a focus. 

[SPHASH]

Weddings certainly do matter in Maxhell.  Remember Teri's write up of Nate and Melanie's wedding and her passive-aggressive comments?  Had to shorten the rehearsal because the chapel was booked for another function but they weren't notified until the day of, Teri made a diagram of the seating at the rehearsal dinner and the wait staff ignored it and did their own thing much to her and Steve's consternation, the conference center where the reception was had a pulp free punch fountain so they had to get a different kind of punch.

[HereticHick]

On 5/24/2020 at 10:49 PM, Captain Obvious said:

Oh you sweet summer child...

I dunno--"Kay" could be throwing some serious shade, and I am here for it.

I spent some time on Instagram, checking out various tags like #jesseandanna, #annaandjesseswedding, etc. and unfortunately came up with nothing. I was hoping that a wedding guest would have helped us out.

[NancyDrewFan1989]

5 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

Normal people can adjust plans.  Steve is so rigid that adjusting any plan or schedule already made doesn't even occur to him.  

I'm very interested in seeing how Jesse and Anna Maxwell's wedding came together. I don't know if many people have read articles or seen news stories about couples who chose to go through with their weddings while following CDC outlines, like wearing face mask, social distancing, live streaming from inside the church, having the wedding outside, and/or having a car parade to honor the couple. Plus, Steve and Teri seemed to be taking the CDC guidelines more seriously than other fundies out there. I'm sure Sarah will delight us with many details about the day and how it all came together. 

[llg1234]

2 hours ago, ElizaB said:

I think a point that was made before is a lot of the fundies we follow do spend a lot of time/effort on the wedding- but none in the areas that actually matter to the experience that the guests have. For instance, at Josephs wedding John rented a helium tank for the sole purpose of filling balloons to put in the bride and grooms getaway vehicle. They also seem to spend hours getting ready the morning of the wedding and then spend very little time at the wedding itself. They spend so much effort getting ready for the rehearsal dinner-which is large with their huge bridal parties. 

Not that everything should revolve around their guests; however, the guest experience just really doesn't seem to be a focus. 

(bolding mine)

I think the reason for this is because this one of the few days in a fundie's life where they're the center the attention and it's all about them. A lot of them get caught up on having their chance to shine and everything else becomes an after thought, imo. I don't agree with it, but I can understand why we this happening so often. 

[SassyPants]

Back to Sarah Maxwell for a moment. One thing that does seem like a bit of a positive is that Sarah does not seem to often get called upon for childcare duties. Anna Marie didn’t even include her name when she thanked the aunties for their help with her kids. I wonder if Sarah was allowed to opt out, or if the brothers just don’t prefer her in terms of childcare? I’m hoping it’s the former. I also wonder what would happen if all the aunties opted out? Would that be allowed? Maybe Teri advocates for Sarah? Likely, not!