Kendra Tierney: A Martyr for Catholicism All Year

[Ozlsn]

5 hours ago, anjulibai said:

I don't understand why she couldn't have just split the kids up age and gender wise. Why not have the four bedrooms instead of 2 and "dressing rooms"? 

Because then the kids might have some time to think, some space, and some privacy. In a 10 bedroom house they could have had 2 kids per room and still had enough for her dippy chapel and a guest room. Honestly it's a bit sad when moving into a college dorm gives you more space and privacy than home - especily when your family are loaded.

[HeadshipRegent]

The thing with Kendra is that if she wasn’t batshit insane about being the most Catholic Catholic to ever Catholic, she seems like a fun person — the May 4th/Star Wars day post for example  

 

Then she goes around and doubles down on not caring if people die in the middle of a pandemic and I’m reminded of who she really is. 

[therulesofjinx]

14 hours ago, anachronistic said:

- why does she say that such and such a baby was a good baby? I’ve met tons of babies, I love babies, I will go up to total strangers and admire their babies, and I’ve yet to meet a bad baby. Are bad babies the ones who haven’t had the special sprinkle of water?

Sadly, I think her opinion of a "good" baby or "bad" baby starts when she's pregnant- if she has a difficult pregnancy or long (for her) labor or the baby is past its due date (she prides herself on the fact that most of her children have been born early or on their due dates)- she is predisposed to feel a certain way about them. Which is horrible. "Cranky Frankie" was a difficult pregnancy and long labor....and look at his nickname. I bet he was a "bad" baby...

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Oh yes "Cranky Frankie" was a bad baby. She's said so.  In addition to "cranky' she frequently calls him a stinker -- as in she had good easy children and then a real stinker came along. 

Frankie was a shrieking (not crying) baby at home and in public -- she admits to much hard hand spanking in both places. Kendra has always referred to him as Cranky Frankie. She frequently says he's not her favorite child after he's done something she didn't like.

She doesn't seem to care that the internet is forever and Frankie will at some point, probably when he leaves home, read what she said about him for years and years.

Has she ever explained her "crying babies go to bed" -- is this the sleep training of letting babies cry at night from about 2 weeks old in order to get them to sleep through the night?

One of the many things about her that bothers me is her emphasis/ insistence on their created family culture -- the Tierney Way. Which of course is super special and super awesome and super great and super Catholic observant and soooo much better than the way any other (even Catholic) family does things.

Yes every family is awesome in its own way, but this has always come across to me as hyper judge-y of other people, uber privileged, exclusive, extremely snobbish, and very exclusionary. Very very NOKD (not our kind dear) about other people.

How could any prospective friend, dating partner or future spouse live up to the Tierney standards? They were't raised in the Tierney Way. How could any outsider become part of the Tierney family  because by definition they aren't Tierneys, weren't raised in the super special, awesome, etc. Tierney Way and by extension are Not as super special, awesome, etc. people as the Tierneys are.  2nd class as it were. 

Edited May 13, 2020 by Red Hair, Black Dress

[princessmahina]

11 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Oh yes "Cranky Frankie" was a bad baby. She's said so.  In addition to "cranky' she frequently calls him a stinker -- as in she had good easy children and then a real stinker came along. 

Frankie was a shrieking (not crying) baby at home and in public -- she admits to much hard hand spanking in both places. Kendra has always referred to him as Cranky Frankie. She frequently says he's not her favorite child after he's done something she didn't like.

She doesn't seem to care that the internet is forever and Frankie will at some point, probably when he leaves home, read what she said about him for years and years.

Has she ever explained her "crying babies go to bed" -- is this the sleep training of letting babies cry at night from about 2 weeks old in order to get them to sleep through the night?

One of the many things about her that bothers me is her emphasis/ insistence on their created family culture -- the Tierney Way. Which of course is super special and super awesome and super great and super Catholic observant and soooo much better than the way any other (even Catholic) family does things.

Yes every family is awesome in its own way, but this has always come across to me as hyper judge-y of other people, uber privileged, exclusive, extremely snobbish, and very exclusionary. Very very NOKD (not our kind dear) about other people.

How could any prospective friend, dating partner or future spouse live up to the Tierney standards? They were't raised in the Tierney Way. How could any outsider become part of the Tierney family  because by definition they aren't Tierneys, weren't raised in the super special, awesome, etc. Tierney Way and by extension are Not as super special, awesome, etc. people as the Tierneys are.  2nd class as it were. 

“Crying babies go to bed” is for toddlers and up, I think. She said she sleep trains around 9 months. She’s referred to it as “kangaroo style” where she’s totally attachment parenting and then throws them out to fend for themselves which seems like it would be very jarring and upsetting for baby. 

[therulesofjinx]

25 minutes ago, princessmahina said:

“Crying babies go to bed” is for toddlers and up, I think.

Yes, I think that's right- it's sort of a well, if you aren't going to listen/follow rules/participate in a nice way and instead are going to cry/whine/disobey then you go to bed.  My understanding is that it's sort of like time out.

38 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

One of the many things about her that bothers me is her emphasis/ insistence on their created family culture -- the Tierney Way.

Have you seen the wall of their family rules? There are 22 of them!

Edited May 13, 2020 by therulesofjinx
redundancy and clarification

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Rule #16 

16. What does God do to complainers?

He sends snakes to bite them.Really, I just love this one. I love it so much I wrote a blog post about it AND a reflection at Blessed is She about it. My kids know this one so well, that now I don’t even have to say it. I can just hiss and poke them with two fingers. And THEY KNOW.

Oh. Dear. Lord. She's the uber Catholic Lori

[Melissa1977]

19 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Rule #16 

16. What does God do to complainers?

He sends snakes to bite them

That's the reason behind Saint Patrick killing Ireland's snakes haha.

[HeadshipRegent]

I’d just like to add Kendra and her ten kids visited her 100 year old great aunt (?) on St. Patrick’s day, when Rona was in full force... The great aunt died a couple of weeks after  

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Edited May 13, 2020 by HeadshipRegent

[neurogirl]

I read her blog post when the oldest was about 12. It's called "surviving the terrible twelves." 

"For most of human history, children were under the supervision of their mothers and the other womenfolk until ten or twelve. But then, the boys would get to leave the domain of women and assist their fathers with work on the farm, or be apprenticed to a blacksmith, or shipped off as a cabin boy, or accepted into a school of witchcraft and wizardry. But wherever they went, it meant they weren’t spending all day long being dominated by their moms. My son just couldn’t handle it. And I wasn’t sure our relationship could handle it either...

So, just for my oldest, we have decided to make the jump into “real school.” We are moving to a different part of town so that he can start eighth grade at the school my friend helped found fourteen years ago. I’m sure packing up and moving house and enrolling in private school isn’t the only solution to this issue (and that it just isn’t an option for all families)."

I think Kendra is wack and the language about sons not wanting to be dominated by women sounds like toxic patriarchy, but I do respect that she sensed it wasn't working and instead of punishing her son, enrolled him The Best Private school to ever exist. 

And now all her children go there for high school it seems. Her daughter even started a Yell Crew (super modest Catholic cheerleaders) there. So at least they get to thrive and have individual activities/friends in high school.

 

Also, she let us know on Easter that Jack was student body president, hits leader of the baseball team, and a star in a self-produced school play, but didn't even get into the Naval Academy and was  waitlisted at Harvard.

"He got in to my alma mater, USC, and is on the waiting list for the husband’s, Harvard. He conceived and produced a pretty epic video message to the admissions board featuring all of his siblings, the zipline for which he holds a U.S. Patent, and a chicken."

It's like...half actual news half humble bragging out the wazoo. I am very curious where he goes though! I feel like these kids at least have a chance to break out due to all that family privilege. Well, at least the boys. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

My hope: All of her children take advantage of the education they seem to be willing to pay for. Even if they can’t stand all the religious BS. And then when they graduate, they are able to live their lives their own way. 

Edited May 13, 2020 by JermajestyDuggar

[hoipolloi]

11 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

She doesn't seem to care that the internet is forever and Frankie will at some point, probably when he leaves home, read what she said about him for years and years.

Or, equally likely, his friends at the uber-holy Catholic school will tell him all about it.

 

1 hour ago, neurogirl said:

It's like...half actual news half humble bragging out the wazoo. I am very curious where he goes though! I feel like these kids at least have a chance to break out due to all that family privilege. Well, at least the boys. 

The real test will be if the girls are offered the same choices when it comes to college. Haven't read enough of the shite on that blog to know if she supports or opposes higher education for women. Yes, she went to college but she'd hardly be the first fundie fuckwad to do that and yet insist that no daughter of HERS will ever attend those dens of corruption.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Leila Miller of the defunct "Little Catholic Bubble" blog did just that.  Boys go to college, girls pushed into marriage at 18 right after high school.  "No college for you girls."  Although college is where Leila and her hubby met.

Leila is also uber fundie Catholic.  She is obsessed  (seriously obsessed) that her children get pregnant on the honeymoon.  She keeps track of how quickly after the wedding the 1st baby is born. Lelia had 4 children young and then many years later decided to have 4 more in her 40s.

Leila closed her blog because she was tired of comments disagreeing (even mildly) with her posts. She has another blog now but I can't remember the name.  Like Kendra, Leila fancies herself an expert on the Catholic church and canonical law (even though her disclaimers say otherwise).  Leila is also an author of uber Catholic books on how to raise awesome uber Catholic children.

[Caroline]

I think I mentioned this somewhere once, but I got a chance to visit the original Opus Dei campus in Spain several years ago.  I am no longer a practicing Catholic and wasn't at the time, but I was with some Spanish friends and we were very close to the place.  You can take a tour.  It's huge, but very, very strange.  There's a really strong 'do-you-want-to-join' vibe there.  Creepy, but good experience.

If she's a follower of that particular cult of Catholicism she really is coo-coo IMO.  

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Kendra is very open about being Opus Dei.  It's probably somewhat different here than in Spain where the Mother house is, but is still ... um ... controversial and even many Catholic regard it as a cult.

Interestingly Robert Hanssen, convicted of selling secrets to Russia in the early 2000s, was a devout Opus Dei member. If I remember correctly despite being uber Catholic he was very kinky

Edited May 14, 2020 by Red Hair, Black Dress

[Marmion]

On 5/12/2020 at 5:39 PM, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

The Tierneys attend an Opus Dei parish -- her priest is probably just as overly scrupulous as she is, perhaps more so.

From what I have heard , Opus Dei is characteristic of being like a cult , so none of what you all have told me about this person really comes as a surprise .  

Spoiler

 

 

On 5/12/2020 at 6:15 PM, ignorantobserver said:

This is absolutely disgusting and vile. Not only depriving her children of individual space and quiet, but going out of her way to cram them together and refurniture bedrooms ?

Sorry, I find this a lot more upsetting and problematic than physical punishment or religious guilt-tripping : those children are never allowed to be alone. Ever. Unlike children who are "only" abused, neglected or ignored, they can't hide, isolate themselves, develop a secret life of their own. They are not allowed to build a safe space inside their head. And in this case, it's deliberate cruelty from their mother. JillR has at least the excuse of being poor.

Some of these parents really make my blood boil. I hope she gets punished for this. I hope all of her children shun her and she dies alone. Not very christian... but I hope something hurts her, badly. I hope she comes to regret deeply what she did to those innocents.

I would guess that this is intended prophylactically to prevent masturbation .  I have been to a Catholic fellowship hall a few times , and in the restroom the stalls had no doors , for this reason I would suppose .  

Spoiler

 

 

21 hours ago, JMarie said:

I don't get her reasons for uniforms at home. She says it cuts down on laundry because the kids wear their Monday outfits on Tuesday, and their Wednesday outfits on Thursday.  Um, they could do that with regular clothes.  And she says it's too difficult for her kids to decide what to wear, so she makes that decision for them.  If it's that much of a struggle, she could lay out an outfit for everyone the night before. FWIW, I went to Catholic school, and I liked wearing a uniform. My mom took me shopping in August, one uniform, five blouses, five pairs of socks, one pair of shoes. In high school especially, I felt like uniforms were the great equalizer.  Everyone looked the same: girls from wealthier parishes, girls from struggling parishes, athletic girls, nerdy girls, popular girls.  College was a bit of a shock for me.

This reminds me of "  The Sound of Music " .  

Spoiler

 

But , like so many things about this family , the uniforms also can be said to fall on the B.I.T.E. model of cult mind control , especially as it relates to behavior control .  http://old.freedomofmind.com/Info/BITE/bitemodel.php 

[NachosFlandersStyle]

1 hour ago, Marmion said:

I have been to a Catholic fellowship hall a few times , and in the restroom the stalls had no doors , for this reason I would suppose .

Do you mean like a Knights of Columbus hall? I've never heard of such a thing in any Catholic setting I've been in. 

Coincidentally, I've been getting KoC recruitment ads in the banner on this site from time to time ?

[princessmahina]

She’s already talked about Betty going to college and how she’s interested in a different experience, so I think she is encouraging college for boys and girls. Also, the curriculum she uses is pretty solid and she’s made sure that both sexes go to the private high school. So, while I think she’s going to push meeting future spouse in college/Mrs degree, I do think she wants all the kids to go to college.

i think she would LOVE it if at least one girl and one boy decided to enter the church too. 

[ADoyle90815]

I do think if one of her sons went into the priesthood, she would totally brag about that more than anything else. As crazy as my grandparents were as far as their Catholic beliefs go, Kendra is far worse than them.

[ignorantobserver]

I am quite sure you are right, Marmion, but the results are far more devastating than just keeping the kids from masturbating. They get taught that they can't be trusted to be alone with their thoughts, they learn to allow themselves to be supervised every second of the day, to suppress every kind of individuality. Basically, it's a case of fundamentalists taking their fear of sexuality so far that it severely cripples them in their everyday life - and somehow, to them, the benefits seem to outweigh the heavy cost in personal development, intelligence and maturity. The level of obsession with sex is just unbelievable.

[Melissa1977]

10 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Kendra is very open about being Opus Dei.  It's probably somewhat different here than in Spain where the Mother house is, but is still ... um ... controversial and even many Catholic regard it as a cult.

 

Opus Dei members in Spain are not open about it. I'm not saying they hide it, but definitely are not open. While Opus Dei is a powerful organisation and has a lot of members in big positions, most people (including regular Catholics) considers Opus a weird cult because the lack of birth control, and especially the hyper-controlled lives of those members who don't marry, the physical punishments adults inflict themselves, etc.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

16 hours ago, HeadshipRegent said:

I’d just like to add Kendra and her ten kids visited her 100 year old great aunt (?) on St. Patrick’s day,

It was Kendra's grandmother.  She mentioned they visited on the last day they could go.  I assume that means the day prior to the assisted living facility locking down.

COVID-19 raging about + 100-year old woman + 10 kids 2 parents = what could possibly go wrong

[smittykins]

On 5/13/2020 at 12:34 AM, NachosFlandersStyle said:

Ahh, I hated uniforms! At my school it made clothes a bigger deal than they needed to be. I felt like my appearance was being scrutinized 24/7 and I spent a ton of time in detention for untucked shirts and mismatched socks. Meanwhile it seemed like certain kids could get away with whatever. I think it's only an equalizer if there's a strong and intentional dedication to treating it that way, and often there isn't.

I’ve also read that there’s sometimes a difference between those who can afford to buy them at, say, Land’s End, and those who have to get them at Walmart.*

*I have no idea if Walmart sells uniforms.  Just using it as a point of comparison.

[NachosFlandersStyle]

5 minutes ago, smittykins said:

I’ve also read that there’s sometimes a difference between those who can afford to buy them at, say, Land’s End, and those who have to get them at Walmart.*

*I have no idea if Walmart sells uniforms.  Just using it as a point of comparison.

Oh absolutely. In my case you bought your skirt/sweater directly from the school but provided your own polo shirts (in approved colors), shoes, etc. It was super obvious that some kids were shopping at the Gap while kids like me had Sears and hand-me-downs. And because we were *supposed* to all look alike, it became a matter of having a better shirt rather than simply a different one.

[Walking Cat Bed]

On 5/12/2020 at 10:19 PM, anjulibai said:

I don't understand why she couldn't have just split the kids up age and gender wise. Why not have the four bedrooms instead of 2 and "dressing rooms"? 

Because if the older kids have a separated bedroom from the same-gender littles, those older kids get privacy (a path to sin) and it will take longer for that older sibling to tend to little siblings. Meaning if one of the toddlers has a nightmare, Kendra might have to get up and parent her own child -- she can't just rely on the teenagers to raise her children for her.