Kendra Tierney: A Martyr for Catholicism All Year

[luv2laugh]

very sad. 

40 minutes ago, Baxter said:

It's very sad. Her husband passed away this afternoon. I feel so badly for her kids especially her very little ones. 

It seemed like it was sort of an unexpected sudden, downturn for them because he was in photos sitting in chairs outside and stuff right before July and they only started hospice yesterday… I am so sad for the kids. It seemed there was a lot of hope about his surgery in March. I think he had been stage 4 since 2018? If so, I’m imagining this feels unexpected for the kids. I know he announced he was going back to work remotely about two months ago.

Edited July 10, 2022 by luv2laugh

[JermajestyDuggar]

I feel horrible for those kids. The youngest is quite young. She may be too young to have memories of him. How awful.

[anachronistic]

Oh much as I don’t like her my heart still hurts for the family. He wasn’t that old - mid 50s maybe? And little Barbara is two or three and will have just a faint memory, if any, of him.

I am glad that they have their faith, because I think that people with such strong convictions of the afterlife can find death to be less scary than people like me who don’t believe there is anything after. He was happy in death I guess because he was happy to be reunited with God, Jesus, etc. and I also hope that it means that he wasn’t in pain.

[Baxter]

@anachronistic I think Kendra lacks empathy for anyone who isn't like her. But I feel very badly for her kids. i think Barbara is just about three. My daughter is the same age and I was thinking a few weeks ago how I will explain to her when our much loved dogs die. They are almost 14 so probably within the next year. That seemed bad enough. I can't imagine trying to explain to your three year old that daddy has died.

I'm an atheist so being with Jesus wouldn't help. But I imagine that their faith will help them. But it is all just so sad. I hope Kendra doesn't guilt Betty into staying home from university because of this. That is unless Betty wants to delay going and finds comfort in being close to her family.

I think this maybe was a sudden shock for them. I expect they thought since they were such good Catholics that maybe God would pull out a miracle for them. But he did go with Betty and Kendra to Minnesota for some University welcome thing not too long after his last surgery so he was still fairly functional then. I always got the impression that he was the type to carry on as long as he could. So he was probably feeling quite badly nearer the end but tried not to let it get in his way. Either way the whole thing is just so sad for his kids. 

[anjulibai]

That's very sad. I feel for the kids. 

[wendy-sparkles]

15 hours ago, anachronistic said:

I am glad that they have their faith, because I think that people with such strong convictions of the afterlife can find death to be less scary than people like me who don’t believe there is anything after. He was happy in death I guess because he was happy to be reunited with God, Jesus, etc. and I also hope that it means that he wasn’t in pain.

Personally I have strong faith in the afterlife and zero fear of death, so my sample size of one says this is true. I think Catholicism is particularly comforting about death - nobody likes to think a loved one is in purgatory but i think praying for the dead is comforting - the idea you can do something for them even though they're gone. I like lighting candles for people I've lost and miss. I hope those kids eventually find it comforting to pray for and to their father.

They're establishing a scholarship fund in Jim's name at the kid's school.

[ADoyle90815]

That's so sad, I feel for those poor kids now without their father. 

[luv2laugh]

They are live-streaming the funeral right now. Kendra has link on her Facebook Catholic All Year. 

I am sad for their family and 10 kids who lost their dad. 

Edited July 15, 2022 by luv2laugh

[anachronistic]

I’m sad but it’s a banana-bread sad to me.

You see, I dislike banana bread. Immensely. I have always hated everything banana flavored and banana bread is no exception. So when something happens to someone or someone in a family dies, and I know that I ought, ethically, to bring something over /join the meal train /whatever, I bring banana bread. Which I know that most people do like, but I dislike it, so it makes me feel both like I did something and not as if I did something nice for them. Because I didn’t. 

So these are people I feel bad for, but I still don’t like her, because she wants to take away the rights and government programs that I currently have. And if I knew them in real life, they’d get banana bread.

 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

On 7/11/2022 at 12:09 AM, wendy-sparkles said:

They're establishing a scholarship fund in Jim's name at the kid's school.

These people must be very well-off if they don't need money for themselves. I know two families (at least one Catholic) where they set up a go-fund-me for the kid/kids following the death of the parent and those families were much smaller. I hope money is being saved for the kids down-the-line and that the girls and boys will have equal opportunities in life.

I know the loss of parent will be very hard for the kids and they have my sympathies.

[SassyPants]

2 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

These people must be very well-off if they don't need money for themselves. I know two families (at least one Catholic) where they set up a go-fund-me for the kid/kids following the death of the parent and those families were much smaller. I hope money is being saved for the kids down-the-line and that the girls and boys will have equal opportunities in life.

I know the loss of parent will be very hard for the kids and they have my sympathies.

He had cancer for 16 years so had time to plan and get his financial affairs in order. I am assuming a Yale and Stanford business/finance graduate probably earned a fair about over his career. In addition they continued to add child after child while living in pricey Southern CA. I am sure the family is financially secure. I worry more about the day in and day out raising, nurturing, guiding all those souls. I also feel badly for them.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

4 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

He had cancer for 16 years so had time to plan and get his financial affairs in order. I am assuming a Yale and Stanford business/finance graduate probably earned a fair about over his career. In addition they continued to add child after child while living in pricey Southern CA. I am sure the family is financially secure. I worry more about the day in and day out raising, nurturing, guiding all those souls. I also feel badly for them.

I'm not worried about them financially. I'm just pointing things could be worse. I also feel bad for those children. It's hard for them to lose their father.

Edited July 16, 2022 by Bluebirdbluebell

[Baxter]

@anachronistic I absolutely detest bananas too. I hate the smell, taste  texture. It's all horrible. I don't think I could bake banana bread ,even out of spite because I just can't stand the smell of them 😄.

I mostly feel bad for her kids because they are currently innocent beings in all of this and I'm fairly sure that they loved their dad even if we think he was abhorrent beliefs. So it is a very sad situation for them. I'm a bit of a softie so I do feel a little bit bad for Kendra even though I know that she wouldn't feel bad for me if the situation was reversed because I'm an atheist and in her world I'm going to hell I guess.

 

[Carrots]

16 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

They are live-streaming the funeral right now. Kendra has link on her Facebook Catholic All Year. 

I am sad for their family and 10 kids who lost their dad. 

What was the funeral like? I missed it (wildly different time zones). Guessing it was uber-Catholic. I wonder if Kendra will go even more Catholic now that Jim has passed like this one did after her husband passed as well: https://www.instagram.com/lovekristinenicole/ . She went full trad after her husband passed from a brain tumour.

[anachronistic]

I looked up what a ‘happy death’ means and it’s actually a Catholic term (I shouldn’t be surprised since I’d never heard of it before and it did seem like an odd thing to say.) It basically means that you died sin fee, did Last Rites, etc. https://catholicherald.co.uk/what-exactly-is-a-happy-death/

I think that really does give them a lot of comfort. And Barbara will grow up and maybe not remember him, same with a few of the younger kids - they may not remember a lot - but they will have lots of stories and videos and they will *know* that they will be reunited with him in Heaven someday. Which….is another way to keep them in the Catholic fold. Ugh. 
 

Do fundamentalist Catholics believe everyone not their specific type of Catholic is going to hell, I wonder, or just all non-Catholics?

[louisa05]

On 7/16/2022 at 5:23 AM, Carrots2 said:

What was the funeral like? I missed it (wildly different time zones). Guessing it was uber-Catholic. I wonder if Kendra will go even more Catholic now that Jim has passed like this one did after her husband passed as well: https://www.instagram.com/lovekristinenicole/ . She went full trad after her husband passed from a brain tumour.

Probably just a funeral mass. Latin for them, of course. Funerals aren’t “creative” in Catholicism. There is an established burial rite. 

[ADoyle90815]

I watched a bunch of the recorded livestream of the funeral, and there was nothing personal in my opinion about her husband, as it was only conducted by the clergy and some of it was in Latin. Basically, it was a typical uber-Catholic funeral mass.  It looked like her older sons served as pallbearers for the casket at the end which was what one would expect. I will say that it's a beautiful church inside, as I've most likely driven past it when I've been in Pasadena. 

Edited July 18, 2022 by ADoyle90815

[louisa05]

11 hours ago, ADoyle90815 said:

I watched a bunch of the recorded livestream of the funeral, and there was nothing personal in my opinion about her husband, as it was only conducted by the clergy and some of it was in Latin. Basically, it was a typical uber-Catholic funeral mass.  It looked like her older sons served as pallbearers for the casket at the end which was what one would expect. I will say that it's a beautiful church inside, as I've most likely driven past it when I've been in Pasadena. 

The personal stuff for Catholics is usually before or after a rosary service rather than during the funeral mass. Personal eulogies are also sometimes done at the very end of a funeral mass, which is when we did my dad’s. But very conservative Catholics would not do that. 

[anachronistic]

I wonder if not mentioning the dead person much at the funeral mass is why wakes and gatherings after the mass can be so lively, with people telling stories about the person, getting very personal (and inebriated if my experience is anything to go by) then?
 

Most of the deaths that I’ve witnessed, all mainline Protestant /Catholic, have 4 parts to a death. 1. In the immediate after,with, family/immediate family (depending on how big the family is) and maybe a few close friends gather, bring food and help with the arrangements at the persons house. 2. Then there is a wake at a funeral home, with the physical body or ashes present, and a receiving line, and posters with photos and now there is often a digital slideshow. 3. The church service /mass, 4. The after-church part, usually in a restaurant or function hall of some sort, or a church hall if there is one and it’s big enough, with food, dessert and sometimes a cash bar. Alternatively the family/close friends go out for a meal together. The public /people you don’t know are welcome to the middle two parts, and they can get very big and the receiving line can take forever, and are also when the most ‘public’ grieving takes place, ie, it is okay to be emotional then even in families where you never show your emotions.

[Bastet]

My family is Catholic. The wake at the funeral parlor would involve the most people and would often be rather informal and upbeat if the death was not viewed as tragic. People might tell stories to celebrate the life. There could be a religious component, typically praying the rosary.  Family and close friends would go to the funeral. Traditionally there would be a sermon about death and salvation, frequently with no reference to the actual deceased,  but that has changed for nontrad Catholics. Now a member or two of the family will share memories. Generally only family and very close friends go to the cemetery and usually someone will  invite them to a restaurant for a meal, often involving alcohol. 
  How a Catholic worships is influenced by the ethnic group they belong to, so there could be a lot of variation, and certainly finances might rule out a restaurant meal. I think originally people went back to the family home to eat. 

Edited July 19, 2022 by Bastet