Mills Family 7: Oh, Look, Another Reason to Detest Tom

[MangoTango]

3 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

She said something like this in another video. The one you linked made me so angry in regards to her thoughts about education not being a basic need. I was also irritated by her made up statistics that she couldn't cite because "she's not a detail person." 

If you have trauma from childhood, you should deal with that before you have nine kids. I'm not even opposed to home birth, but pretending that women haven't had midwifes or help from elders for millennia is just ignorant. They are at least 30 minutes from the hospital and if something had gone seriously wrong, she might not have made it to the hospital in time. Why risk that? We know better know. 

Oh, I agree. I wasn't trying to make excuses for her, just pointing out some of the reasons that may have contributed to her...beliefs.  She was 

Both she and Tom had/have messed up views on how women "should" give birth. With their proximity to the hospital, it was highly irresponsible for her to do unassisted births.  Like many have said before, she didn't want nine children, she wanted tons of babies. She clearly wasn't thinking about their wants or needs, or didn't care. That, and she decided that she had fixed her issues by herself, which she stated in a video where she discussed her anxiety.

Yeah, her views on education are disgusting - she and Tom always refer to education as "training" your child and talk about it as if they're training a dog. 

[Petronella]

13 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

Tom puts a diaper on her, and says "last diaper I'm ever going to change" 

That fills me with rage.

6 hours ago, Ekaterina said:

Does he really only have one pair of shoes? Ugh!  

I have a lot of shoes, but my husband and sons often only have one pair of everyday shoes each. That, and dress shoes, which they wear for concerts/weddings/etc. In the house we’re barefoot or in socks/slippers, and when we go out we’re not walking through mud or anything. I’m confused by the visceral ugh response.

 

5 hours ago, WhaddaIKnow said:

I watched a little piece of the live shopping. 
Until he put spinach in the cart. 
He is a dick.

Wait, are you upset that he bought spinach? Why? There must be some context I’m missing...

[Grandma D]

8 hours ago, WhaddaIKnow said:

I watched a little piece of the live shopping. 
Until he put spinach in the cart. 
He is a dick. A first class, cocky, nasty dick. 
I feel so bad for those kiddos. 
 

Did you hear his nice comment to Solly in the van as they were leaving for the store? Solly was having trouble getting his seatbelt buckled and Tom said you better get it buckled so you don't fly through the windshield OR people will complain!!. He also said that he never looked at prices all these years but now that he's mom he has to start and someone commented that this was disrespectful to his boys. He also complained at the checkout that his credit is gone and he had to use his own card. How long before it gets filled back up. He is a shameless grifter now. It's amazing what free money does to people 's morals. 

Edited May 22, 2020 by Grandma D
Edited because the Siolly comment was when they were leaving for the store!

[can'tstopwatching]

7 hours ago, WhaddaIKnow said:

I watched a little piece of the live shopping. 
Until he put spinach in the cart. 
He is a dick. A first class, cocky, nasty dick. 
I feel so bad for those kiddos. 
 

I read this before watching and was also curious about what was up with the spinach. Tom grabs one bag (tiny amount for such a large family) and says really dramatically and condescendingly "look youtube, oh my gosh, I am getting spinach, spinach is so healthy, oooh yummy spinach". Between that and the snarky comment in the beginning about getting comments if the kids don't have seatbelts on, he's sure acting like a real tool. The funny thing is he does seem to minorly change behavior based on people's comments, like Hannah wearing shoes, being more careful about seatbelts, even eating vegetables. But then he says shit like this, almost like admitting that he does things because of these comments but needing to make it condescending in some way so he still feels on top.

[Tah Dah]

What a jerk. I really don't understand why people watch the family channel at all anymore. I understand some were fooled by Andrea a bit, but he isn't trying to hide the batshit crazy.  Not in the least. Not to mention he's just a very mean spirited person .

[Maggie Mae]

I don't understand why they even bothered to drive to the store for two bags of groceries. Take a family walk and get some fresh air before you all flop onto that nasty couch and watch anime for hours. 

[Itsjustme]

9 hours ago, mollysmom said:

Not sure I should admit this but I was just a kid and it was my parents rules but my parents had 5 kids and we were only allowed to take a bath once a week.

Don't feel bad about that. I don't know how old you are but back in the 60"s and 70's it was customary to bathe only once a week. People were more frugal and everyone was trying to conserve water. When I was a kid our bath night was Saturday. BUT my mother sponge bathed us every DAY in between. filling a little basin with hot soapy water and using a few face cloths to wash us, becasue filling the bath tub was using a lot of water and made the water bill go up.

 

10 hours ago, WhaddaIKnow said:

I watched a little piece of the live shopping. 
Until he put spinach in the cart. 
He is a dick. A first class, cocky, nasty dick. 

Yeah, he was extremely sarcastic and his HollyDolly commented on the video that he should try not to be sarcastic next time, but i believe she was being sarcastic, and playing along with him. Just another brown noser flirting with him and making a fool of themselves. 

His comments were as follows: "I want to get some spinach...oh look they have someeee." Look You Tube, oh my gosh I am getting spinach!". "Spinach is so healthy!"  "Oooh, yummy spinach" and he pats it a few times after he places it in the cart. Then he tells Sophia and Claudia "We are going to have spinach, some salads, isn't that good?" Then he said he was going to buy carrots becasue Andre used to grate them up and put them on salads and no one would notice. Claudia said she liked carrots and Tom replied "You like carrots?"" "Why didn't i know that? I'm such a failure". 

The guy is so childish and vindictive. This is some little joke between him and HollyDolly. This just reinforces everyone's thoughts that he is a child.  Awww him and HollyDolly are a team. How cute, it's him and Holly against the world. Sad, sad environment for those kids to see. He can't stand to be criticized. Maybe he ought to take it as constructive criticism  like an adult instead of trying to give people the big middle finger with this ridiculous show he puts on.  It's not becoming of a Christian man.

And can you really believe that ONE bag of spinach is for salads for ten people? 

Poor Solly again. when they left the house he was having trouble getting his seatbelt on and Tom was getting agitated with him. he said 'I don't know why it's so difficult'. Then he proceeded to say " You guys better all be buckled in there, if you don't buckle up you could go through the windshield or people will complain".  WoW, is all I can say. Is he for real? Saying that in front of his kids.  Teaching them to not care about safety. 

I watch some other channels with men who are widowed and have kids and none of them even come close to behaving like this. He thinks people are bad who criticize him? How bad is he behaving the way he does?

Forgive me for being all over the place with this, just so much to talk about and so much wrong. But let's not criticize , only Tom can say he doesn't like something or thinks different about something

[mollysmom]

He is so arrogant and condescending. Neither are attractive traits there, Tommy boy. 

[Itsjustme]

Haha! I think we all posted the exact same thing all around the same time! Like I said it takes me 30 minutes or more to post something and  so the other replies weren't there when I began, so if there are same things said that is why.

 

[Grandma D]

43 minutes ago, Itsjustme said:

Haha! I think we all posted the exact same thing all around the same time! Like I said it takes me 30 minutes or more to post something and  so the other replies weren't there when I began, so if there are same things said that is why.

 

Haha. It's good confirmation we are going wtf at the same things!

[HereComesTreble]

12 hours ago, mollysmom said:

Just so you all don't think I'm gross, now that I'm out of my parents house I shower every day, usually twice a day because I get so dirty at work. 

I’m so sorry you had to go through that.  

I’m speculating you had to deal with embarrassment because of the lack of bathing at home.  People may have blamed you for any smell—and that really sucks and is totally unfair.  

I imagine the Naugler and Mills kids may have a funky smell, due to no fault of their own.  The embarrassment and uncomfortableness of poor hygiene is truly awful.

[Maggie Mae]

13 hours ago, mollysmom said:

Not sure I should admit this but I was just a kid and it was my parents rules but my parents had 5 kids and we were only allowed to take a bath once a week. And to top it off we had to all share bath water. (all us kids...not my parents) Each kid would take a bath starting with the oldest and when they were done the next one would go in...using the same bathwater. Disgusting. 

Just so you all don't think I'm gross, now that I'm out of my parents house I shower every day, usually twice a day because I get so dirty at work. 

I don't think your gross, but I'm wondering when we went from the Farmer Boy habits of everyone shares the bathwater on Saturday night to daily bathing. There were some articles last year or so that said we now bathe/shower too much. Personally, I won't even answer the door if I haven't showered (unless camping) but that's me. I can't really even function if I shower at night,  I'll still take one in the morning. 

This is BEC, but Tom's bike has a kickstand.  I didn't know they still made adult road bikes with kickstands, it's been so long since I've seen a grocery store bike. The bike rides could be a nice easy for him to spend time with his older kids, and help them all develop better habits. But he won't. 

 

42 minutes ago, HereComesTreble said:

I imagine the Naugler and Mills kids may have a funky smell, due to no fault of their own.  The embarrassment and uncomfortableness of poor hygiene is truly awful.

Yeah, I still remember the smelly kids in school. Truly awful, the way everyone treated them. The nauglers and mills arent going to school, though, so no one is going to say anything. 

It also means that there never was any reason that they couldn't all shower daily or every other day, except that Andrea was too lazy to do laundry from the increased towel usage. 

I found this discussion about ACE and we really need some homeschool regulation. 

 

[Olivia Marie]

14 hours ago, mollysmom said:

 

On top of all that, that bathroom is carpeted. Ugh. ?

 

I have no idea what I did with the quote boxes up there! 

Also, the blood stained mattress where Andrea gave birth to some of the babies.   Tom talked about this recently when he bought the Purple mattress.  That mattress was drenched in blood, bodily fluids, bacteria, germs, after birth.   Disgusting.  

I cannot imagine the foul odor and stench in that house.   Mildew, mold, dirty clothes, dirty bodies, dirty furniture and floors, dirty sheets/blankets, critters.   It’s mind boggling.    The windows are never open, no fresh air ever circulating throughout the house.   With the filthy state of that entire house, and its contents, fresh air would not make a difference anyhow.   The children are very rarely outside.  They continuously breathe in the polluted air in that trashy dump.  

I worked with Head Start for many years   Ages 3-5.   Outside play and exercise was mandatory every day, if the temperature was 32 Fahrenheit and above.   Twice daily, with a total of 90-120 minutes each day.    Gross motor skills, fresh air, interaction, learning healthy habits.   The children received two very healthy meals each day.  They learned that nutritious food is good, they learned table manners.   They learned good hygiene, and they brushed their teeth after both meals.    They received so many other wonderful things in the program as well.   The Mills children have never received, and continue to not receive, even one of the things from the above.    They were/are like prisoners held by their very own flesh and blood, their Dad and Mom   Their entire worlds are within the walls of that stale putrid house.   A house unfit to be inhabited.    

 

 

[Ash]

1 hour ago, Maggie Mae said:

I'm wondering when we went from the Farmer Boy habits of everyone shares the bathwater on Saturday night to daily bathing.

I think it has to do with hot water becoming convenient and not a luxury. In Almanzo Wilder's day, if a typical person wanted hot water, he or she had to heat it on a wood-burning stove, which can take a long time if you want a reasonable quantity. Then you likely had to haul the water, whether hot or cold, to wherever your tub was. Water is heavy, so you're likely hauling bucket after bucket from the well if you don't have a water pump in your kitchen or nearby in your back yard. Having a bath was a real effort that most people would not have had time for on a daily basis. Only once indoor plumbing and hot water heaters became affordable for regular people could a daily bath or shower become  a thing.

[Caroline]

2 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

I don't think your gross, but I'm wondering when we went from the Farmer Boy habits of everyone shares the bathwater on Saturday night to daily bathing. There were some articles last year or so that said we now bathe/shower too much. Personally, I won't even answer the door if I haven't showered (unless camping) but that's me. I can't really even function if I shower at night,  I'll still take one in the morning. 

This is BEC, but Tom's bike has a kickstand.  I didn't know they still made adult road bikes with kickstands, it's been so long since I've seen a grocery store bike. The bike rides could be a nice easy for him to spend time with his older kids, and help them all develop better habits. But he won't. 

 

Yeah, I still remember the smelly kids in school. Truly awful, the way everyone treated them. The nauglers and mills arent going to school, though, so no one is going to say anything. 

It also means that there never was any reason that they couldn't all shower daily or every other day, except that Andrea was too lazy to do laundry from the increased towel usage. 

I found this discussion about ACE and we really need some homeschool regulation. 

 

I remember doing something like this in Grade 6 in 1969.  It was a self-paced program called SRA, and it was so boring.  I think the point was improving reading comprehension, but I'm not sure.  I preferred reading books at that age.  We worked our way through really boring stories and some non-fiction topics, graded them and kept on going till we got to the top level.  It was probably a chance to give the poor teacher a chance to breathe.  I don't think the school embraced it for long, but I could be wrong.  No religious topics or God talk - only communist propaganda.  

[HereComesTreble]

2 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

I don't think your gross, but I'm wondering when we went from the Farmer Boy habits of everyone shares the bathwater on Saturday night to daily bathing.

I think back then “washing up” via a basin and washcloth was a daily occurrence.  While it wasn’t an actual bath, that good scrubbing with a rag everyday certainly helped. 

Also, back then, it wouldn’t necessarily be humiliating to only have a weekly bath because everyone was in the same stinky boat.

I interned for a social service program.  I knew of several   families, living in shelters or vehicles, who made sure their children were clean.  They took the time to take their children to the shelters’ showers multiple times a week, if not daily.  And the shower system was a total hassle (lines, cold, rules like crazy, possible ick, etc) but it was that important to these parents that their kids went to school with proper hygiene.

And Tom can’t just shut down the dang computer for a half hour 3x a week to bathe his kids?!?  What a turd.

[Caroline]

6 minutes ago, HereComesTreble said:

I think back then “washing up” via a basin and washcloth was a daily occurrence.  While it wasn’t an actual bath, that good scrubbing with a rag everyday certainly helped. 

Also, back then, it wouldn’t necessarily be humiliating to only have a weekly bath because everyone was in the same stinky boat.

I interned for a social service program.  I knew of several   families, living in shelters or vehicles, who made sure their children were clean.  They took the time to take their children to the shelters’ showers multiple times a week, if not daily.  And the shower system was a total hassle (lines, cold, rules like crazy, possible ick, etc) but it was that important to these parents that their kids went to school with proper hygiene.

And Tom can’t just shut down the dang computer for a half hour 3x a week to bathe his kids?!?  What a turd.

It would be so much extra work for him to send his kids to public school.  They would need clean bodies, clean clothes, and organized book bags. And when they got home they'd need help with their homework.  They might even learn that they're interested in some of the extra curricular things schools offer: clubs, sports, community service opportunities, marching band, drama, etc.  He doesn't want to work that hard.  Maybe that's the real reason they don't go to school.  No wonder these parents of many homeschool.  Public school is too much trouble.

[Ozlsn]

1 hour ago, Caroline said:

It would be so much extra work for him to send his kids to public school.  They would need clean bodies, clean clothes, and organized book bags. And when they got home they'd need help with their homework.  They might even learn that they're interested in some of the extra curricular things schools offer: clubs, sports, community service opportunities, marching band, drama, etc.  He doesn't want to work that hard.  Maybe that's the real reason they don't go to school.  No wonder these parents of many homeschool.  Public school is too much trouble.

Plus people would ask questions of the kids about how they were going. People might start requesting CPS involvement, like parenting classes. And most importantly the kids might actually learn stuff and start telling Tom he's wrong. 

Edited May 22, 2020 by Ozlsn

[Ekaterina]

17 hours ago, mollysmom said:

On top of all that, that bathroom is carpeted. Ugh. ?

The bathroom must stink to high heaven.  Is there even a window or ventilation in there?  

As the bathroom leads directly off the girls bedroom (with only a dividing curtain?) the girls room also must reek.  Males often miss their aim and so the carpet doesn't bear thinking about. 

What made those morons have no concern about hygiene when Andrea was giving birth? Tommy, as midwife in charge, was also wearing those ever present dirty denims. Oh they are so  damn filthy. 

 

In the live which wasn't available until after the event as he messed up again (for a computer expert he is useless!) he was making snide, sarcastic remarks aimed at subs who ask about veggies. He purchased broccoli.  He's a damn misfit, thinks he's so witty and edgy!  He's neither! Stinking, arrogant potato head! 

On getting to checkout Tommo said "We've run out of credit"  Yep "run out of credit, will have to pay on my card".  It was perfectly clear that, over nine months of free groceries was not enough!  He expects grocery accounts to be topped up in addition to the GFM

I wish someone would call him out!!  But comments are strictly moderated so I guess that won't happen unless one slips past on a livestream. 

He is sooooo happy in this video and has been oddly verbal recently, seeming even more so that he is trying to IMPRESS someone.  Who could that be?  Is a grand announcement that he is dating in the air? 

[can'tstopwatching]

4 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

I don't think your gross, but I'm wondering when we went from the Farmer Boy habits of everyone shares the bathwater on Saturday night to daily bathing. There were some articles last year or so that said we now bathe/shower too much. Personally, I won't even answer the door if I haven't showered (unless camping) but that's me. I can't really even function if I shower at night,  I'll still take one in the morning. 

This is BEC, but Tom's bike has a kickstand.  I didn't know they still made adult road bikes with kickstands, it's been so long since I've seen a grocery store bike. The bike rides could be a nice easy for him to spend time with his older kids, and help them all develop better habits. But he won't. 

 

Yeah, I still remember the smelly kids in school. Truly awful, the way everyone treated them. The nauglers and mills arent going to school, though, so no one is going to say anything. 

It also means that there never was any reason that they couldn't all shower daily or every other day, except that Andrea was too lazy to do laundry from the increased towel usage. 

I found this discussion about ACE and we really need some homeschool regulation. 

 

The scary thing is how adamantly Tom BRAGS about how much smarter homeschooled kids are, how much better they perform, etc. Yeah, not when it’s with ACE and they have no adult at all to instruct them.

He said in a recent live that he went to public school and he turned out alright. But of course followed that with “but public school today is worse than when I went” (paraphrasing). How on earth would he know?? That makes him sound like such a whiny old man. His aspirations for his kids aren’t high enough for him to care to give them a good education anyway.

[Ozlsn]

18 minutes ago, can'tstopwatching said:

He said in a recent live that he went to public school and he turned out alright. But of course followed that with “but public school today is worse than when I went” (paraphrasing). How on earth would he know?? That makes him sound like such a whiny old man. His aspirations for his kids aren’t high enough for him to care to give them a good education anyway.

It bugs me so much these people who had at least some education, and who actively choose to deny their children the same opportunity. Even if your aspirations for your kids are just a good job and well regarded in the community then give them the chance to dream big. Why not NASA? Why not NASCAR racer? Why not mechanical apprentice of the year? Why not national  grocery chain manager? Why not award winning artist? Why not give them the chance to look at the world and see the amazing opportunities out there. They stifle their children in tiny boxes, and in Andrea's case pass on their fear and ignorance too.

Edited May 22, 2020 by Ozlsn

[Itsjustme]

10 hours ago, Grandma D said:

. He is a shameless grifter now. It's amazing what free money does to people 's morals. 

He's entitled now, he expects it. No dignity and self respect. Everyone always bails out Tom and now he believes people should help support the life HE decided to have. They always did some expensive shopping and he bragged how he made enough money. What changed? He hasn't done anything to  have help in the house. It's all material things. No home school tutor, no pediatrician for the little ones so he can get guidance on how to parent, no house cleaner, yeah a neighbor comes in, he has the means to hire a professional. Meal delivery options are there too, a couple of times a week might be nice. No, he just wants to wallow in pity and have people send money. He doesn't help himself because he doesn't want to.

 

10 hours ago, can'tstopwatching said:

But then he says shit like this, almost like admitting that he does things because of these comments but needing to make it condescending in some way so he still feels on top.

He thinks he is superior in smarts. It's a little game he's playing and he thinks he's so funny. He's so bad he even says it to his kids about people saying things. HE wants them to think only he is right about everything,

 

1 hour ago, Caroline said:

He doesn't want to work that hard.  Maybe that's the real reason they don't go to school.  No wonder these parents of many homeschool.  Public school is too much trouble.

Exactly, just more responsibility on him. Everything  gets taken care of by others, his mother and Andrea's sisters help so no need for him to think of other options. Honestly I'm not sure those kids could handle public school, they are so used to only each other, and Tom's comments when he was asked about extra curricular activity was that the kids wouldn't do anything they couldn't do together. They have that mindset so ingrained into their heads it might be too difficult to adapt. And they aren't exactly what we call street smart, I think kids might bully them. They do have Christian homeschool tutors, at least it would be professional and more in depth. 

Tom knows it all but can't do it all...how ironic. Ironic that the very you tube people he talks down to are what keeps him afloat. 

[Caroline]

25 minutes ago, can'tstopwatching said:

The scary thing is how adamantly Tom BRAGS about how much smarter homeschooled kids are, how much better they perform, etc. Yeah, not when it’s with ACE and they have no adult at all to instruct them.

He said in a recent live that he went to public school and he turned out alright. But of course followed that with “but public school today is worse than when I went” (paraphrasing). How on earth would he know?? That makes him sound like such a whiny old man. His aspirations for his kids aren’t high enough for him to care to give them a good education anyway.

I'm older than Tom by a few decades, and I'm glad schools have changed in the last several decades. They've changed for the better imo, and Tom wouldn't have any idea because he doesn't know everything (even though he thinks he does). 

[Ozlsn]

1 hour ago, Itsjustme said:

Honestly I'm not sure those kids could handle public school, they are so used to only each other

I think there would need to be a transition process, but it is doable.  Maybe start with tutors and then gradually transition? At the very least they need exposure to and interaction with their peers. 

1 hour ago, Itsjustme said:

the kids wouldn't do anything they couldn't do together

Somehow I doubt this. They haven't exactly been given the opportunity to, so they are basically parroting what their parents have said (assuming this isn't just Tom making crap up.) 

[Itsjustme]

11 minutes ago, Ozlsn said:

They haven't exactly been given the opportunity to, so they are basically parroting what their parents have said

That's why i said Tom said it. He speaks for them all the time. When he says they won't do anything unless they can do it together is his thoughts  Poor judah was very stressed about a housekeeper coming into the house when Tom was speaking about it. They have been made to be fearful of the outside world becasue Tom makes them think everyone on the outside doesn't know what they are doing or is stupid or can't be trusted.