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Mills Family 7: Oh, Look, Another Reason to Detest Tom


nelliebelle1197

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Tom said in the dinner live that almost all the kids are behind where they're supposed to be in school. He adds that because of coronavirus, most students are now too anyway. But that hasn't affected them or their education at all so he's just making excuses. He usually brags left and right about how much more advanced his homeschooled kids are meant to be, I guess they're not! Of course at no fault to the kids, they are being failed in every area of their lives.

I noticed during the bathroom live that when Tom grabbed the new wall to lift himself up off the floor, the whole wall moved. He's painted it now so it's not like the wall isn't finished yet. Why are the walls he built not firm and strong like real house walls? Did he do it badly or is this just what it's like when people build their own rooms instead of hiring a professional? I don't know if he's even put drywall on the library side of the walls, I wonder if that's coming or if he just doesn't care, but the studs are what should be preventing the wall from bending with the force of his pull. That bathroom is badly homemade just like everything else in that house and family.

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10 hours ago, Mom2Bubby said:

Edited to add: Tom said they were going to take some trips this summer and also he eats like a pig and kept wiping his food off his mouth onto his pants. ?

Tom did say he wanted to go to The Ark and The Creation Museum with friends this summer. Those poor kids can't get away from religion even on vacation!

I noticed the teenage boys eat like pigs too. Asher looks like he uses his front teeth to chew. He probably has a mouth full of cavities. Tooth pain is awful.

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16 hours ago, can'tstopwatching said:

I’m not watching the live but I turned it on for 1 second and he’s preaching his much repeated claim that he thinks Hannah and the rest of the family all had coronavirus back in November. I think it’s his way of dismissing the severity of the virus, saying like, oh we all had it and it was insignificant, just like any other sickness so much that we didn’t even know. I just don’t understand the motivation for people to act like the virus isn’t actually serious...

I call BS ! If that were the case, there would be more cases in that town. Lord know nobody in that family washes their hands. And with Tommy Boy and his business and Thomas working at the rinky dink store, more people (especially those with weak immune systems) would've more than likely picked it up. 

If anything it was a stomach bug or some other nasty virus. And with that filthy, grimy , smelly disgusting house it's a wonder the littles aren't sick all the time. 

Wash your damn hands Tommy ! And teach YOUR CHILDREN to do so as well.

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21 hours ago, can'tstopwatching said:

almost all the kids are behind where they're supposed to be in school

And he plans to remedy this how exactly? Don't just handwave that "oh well, coronavirus, all kids behind" because that's kind of irrelevant. The point is your kids are behind. So how are you going to help them catch up?

As to his claim they had it in November - son ended up getting tested on the weekend after he had a runny nose, cough, fever, vomiting and was working to breathe. Coronavirus? Negative. Rhinovirus? Yep! Which I am relieved about, not least because I was trying to work out who he'd been in contact with over the previous fortnight, and given it's been pretty much home or school I wasn't looking forward to potentially causing the school to shut again.

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Tom did a live gift opening with the littles last night  

Tom said they were going to open packages because everyone just sends them stuff and people are so kind to them. He said they really appreciate it and everyone is like family to them. (He has so much praise for everyone that sent gifts. (me thinks he doth protest too much-whatever Tom). 

Someone asked if Thomas and Judah were ok after their wrestling match. Tom Said yes and they took it all over the neighborhood. (Whatever that’s supposed to mean). 

Tom said they just Got back from visiting grandma Fern. They couldn’t go inside but they saw her in the atrium. Tom took the kids for slushees after visiting grandma fern and Sophia spilled hers. Tom asked her why she spilled it and then he said he spilled his. Not sure why he thought people needed to know that. 

Tom said Thomas was sleeping and Judah and Asher either didn’t want to be on camera or they were busy. 

I only watched the first five minutes or so.  The littles weren’t very active or loud when he first started.  Not sure if they were more rambunctious as time went on or not.  

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Live mail opening. There were some things that were supposed to be for Hannah's birthday on May 2, including some party supply items including  a cake topper, some clothes, a card with money, etc. Tom opening them 6 weeks after her birthday.?

Also sent were : a case of Ramen microwave cups, pool toys, a keychain, toddler cookbook, children's sunglasses, a Vtech ABC Toy, shadow cards for Solomon, (makes shadows on the wall) , a birthday card for Judah with 20.00 in it, a package with stampers and candy, some horns you blow that curl up, etc.

Tom is really pouring on the Hannah comments, he must have said "she's so cute" or "that's really cute" a dozen times. It's all just more manipulation, power of suggestion, if he keeps saying how cute she is he can use her more as a prop to get views and gifts. 

Tom said "everybody wants to know what you are saving up for Justus, are you saving up for something?"  Justus said it was for a Nintendo Switch controller that he had spilled something on and Tom moaned and said "Awwww, oh mannnn".  "I think both of them were having trouble weren't they?" It was so robotic and strange the way he asked him and put him on the spot. More hinting for gifts. What happened to letting your kids buy things with their money? He's so pathetic and whiny and people can't see through it? They must be so gullible.

Someone asked what birthdays were coming up, he said Andrea's was in June on the 22nd and Claudia's was in August, but he could not remember the date  and people reminded him it was the 4th.  He said he loses track.

A chatter had sent a snack box, they were asking on chat if he got it. He said he did get it but didn't know who had sent it.  (uh huh) 

He said he bought a really nice bubble machine for Solly's birthday. He can't find the cupcake holder display they usually use but will still look for it becasue it has such sentimental value. He said he has some really good ideas for the party. He will do a video of the party.

Eden was really bothered by the little kids blowing the horns, she said it was really annoying and she kept telling Solly and Claudia to stop and that Dad had said only Hannah could do it. She asked Tom to tell them to stop.  Then at the end of the video he let all the kids blow the horns all at once as a funny goodbye. 

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4 minutes ago, Itsjustme said:

.?

A chatter had sent a snack box, they were asking on chat if he got it. He said he did get it but didn't know who had sent it.  (uh huh) 

He also said there were healthy snacks, and then described goldfish and Pringles, that were eaten very quickly. I skipped around through that video, it was very boring but I caught that part - and the multiple people asking Tom to answer the lady who sent the snacks and his annoyance. 

I looked up Wyoming standards for abuse. In Wyoming, they don't recognize educational or medical abuse as a separate catagory. And the statute clearly says 

Spoiler

(vii) "Neglect" means a failure or refusal by those responsible for the child's welfare to provide adequate care, maintenance, supervision, education or medical, surgical or any other care necessary for the child's well being. Treatment given in good faith by spiritual means alone, through prayer, by a duly accredited practitioner in accordance with the tenets and practices of a recognized church or religious denomination is not child neglect for that reason alone;

Which seems ridiculous - it's 2020. Why would anyone believe in pray it away? Don't let kids suffer for the parents bizarre "religion." 

However, they do check a couple of boxes under neglect and emotional, mainly Asher being the primary parent. 

I don't even want them taken away into foster care, I just want Tom to seek some resources and use them - nutrional counseling, parenting classes, kids in school instead of ACE. Medical insurance and consistent medical and dental care. This isn't a situation of dire poverty, they choose to live like this. It's not fair to those kids, at all. 

___

I noticed the complete lack of manners when Tom was eating his Alfredo, so I went back and watched part of their first Live Dinner and it was spaghetti. Andrea served herself first (an absurd amount, if you ask me. Then Tom, who played with his food until most of the kids were served (Andrea served them all, Tom sat there) and covered it with shredded mozzarella cheese, he doesn't like Parmigiano. It was gross. He put his entire hand in the bag and was rustling it around. One kid asked for water instead of milk and Andrea made them drink milk first. As a non-milk person, this just makes me sad. I guess they all, including Tom, drink milk with every meal. And then Tom started shoveling noodles into his face. Why anyone wants to watch people eat is beyond me. And why don't they use a spoon to swirl their pasta and take smaller bites so they aren't bending over and eating like the dogs on Lady and the Tramp? 

None of the kids seemed excited to be on camera then and they don't now. 

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9 hours ago, Itsjustme said:

Tom said "everybody wants to know what you are saving up for Justus, are you saving up for something?"  Justus said it was for a Nintendo Switch controller that he had spilled something on and Tom moaned and said "Awwww, oh mannnn".  "I think both of them were having trouble weren't they?" It was so robotic and strange the way he asked him and put him on the spot. More hinting for gifts. What happened to letting your kids buy things with their money? He's so pathetic and whiny and people can't see through it? They must be so gullible.

This part bothered me because Tom and Andrea have said before that they do not let their children save money just to save money, that they must save it towards a goal of buying something. Which just really bothers me and I don’t think it teaches good habits at all like they think. So I think Tom was asking Justus in a way that was like, you better be saving toward something specific because you’re not allowed to have the money if you’re not. Andrea used to say that rule was so that the kids learned not to just hoard money greedily or something. 

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35 minutes ago, can'tstopwatching said:

Andrea used to say that rule was so that the kids learned not to just hoard money greedily or something. 

Omg “hoard money greedily”? Isn’t that what most of us would call savings?

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1 hour ago, Pleiades_06 said:

Omg “hoard money greedily”? Isn’t that what most of us would call savings?

2:20-3:00 is where she explains about hoarding money or saving for the sake of saving. I wonder if Tom would allow them to save for a large, long-term goal like buying a house. Teaching kids to spend their money on the family is fine and all but putting the financial burden of one of the family's expenses, even small, onto a child (Thomas pays the gas bill, Asher buys the bread) instead of letting them save their own money is wrong to me.

 

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And yet foot fungus Tom claims he “saved” money (aka go fund me, donated). Hmmm, guess wife #2 neglected to tell him about that little stupid rule. Idiots!

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I sorta kinda get what she’s saying? I give my kids an allowance that they use to pay for extra things so they can learn how to deal with money. But if they want to save all of it and not spend it on junk, that’s fine with me. Is that what she’s getting at? Because I can’t get past when she calls it “selfish “ to keep money.

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1 hour ago, Pleiades_06 said:

But if they want to save all of it and not spend it on junk, that’s fine with me. Is that what she’s getting at? Because I can’t get past when she calls it “selfish “ to keep money.

I think what she means by selfish to save money is that in the Bible, God has no problem with a person having money or being well off as long as they use some of that money to be in service to others and not be "selfish" by keeping it all for yourself when you have the means to help others less fortunate than yourself.  

Oddly enough we have not seen Tom do that at all. He has not been in service to anyone nor has he made any donation to a cause that we know of, even before the virus. It might be nice if he could make a yearly donation to the library that Andrea and the kids loved and enjoyed together. I notice the library has some donation boxes set up on the counter at Diehl's to help buy books, Claudia once asked what they were, so I know Tom is aware of the need.

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14 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

I always thought that the weekly trip to the market just wasted the kids money on top of promoting bad health habits. 
I mean it is an outing for them, as sad as it is but they might want to save up for something better than candy! 
I can see Eden is sick of candy bars and decided to make smoothies so she purchased strawberries - Tom was so befuddled by it. Like, how there you pick something that’s good for you?! 

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My daughter’s loose rule for her children is from any earnings or gifting - save a third - it’s still theirs, but for a bigger down the road want or need, spend a third however they want frivolously(game expenses), and to use a third to fund themselves a bit when out and about.

I’ll never understand the bread with Asher’s workload in the house, but do see little signs of that cracking.  As diligent as he is to his schooling in comparison to the others I could see him moving on before lazier and more entitled Thomas.  The littles are graduating more to sitting by daddy right now too, so think Tom better be beating the bushes for that one in a million.

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LI’m sorry if this question has been asked before, but I can’t find the info: does this family have aunts/uncles/grandparents able to help?  

Tom is floundering. I’m not suggesting that Tom wants to change anything; but if he did want to change things (healthier living, improve their education situation, become less YouTube-dependant, etc.), I don’t think he has a clue on how to even start.

Personally, if my nieces or nephews weren’t bathing regularly, I’d fix that.

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4 hours ago, Pleiades_06 said:

I sorta kinda get what she’s saying? I give my kids an allowance that they use to pay for extra things so they can learn how to deal with money. But if they want to save all of it and not spend it on junk, that’s fine with me. Is that what she’s getting at? Because I can’t get past when she calls it “selfish “ to keep money.

Right before the timestamp, she talks about asparagus and how she harvested it and thought that was it. But the more she harvested, the more it grew. She looks at money the same way - spend it, don't hoard it. 

I'd say emergency expenses must not be a worry, but obviously you can just put out a gofundme and get more than you need. 

I don't understand why Tom hasn't seen this entire saga as a warning to get his kids medical care. I'd be running them to the doctor for every little thing. 

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2 hours ago, HereComesTreble said:

this family have aunts/uncles/grandparents able to help?  

Yes-Tom’s mom is a retired teacher (!) who helps with home schooling and Andrea’s sisters help with school and a little with child care (some kids sleep over their houses). They sometimes appear on videos but all are relatively private. I’d like to know what they really think of the situation.

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7 hours ago, Pleiades_06 said:

I sorta kinda get what she’s saying? I give my kids an allowance that they use to pay for extra things so they can learn how to deal with money. But if they want to save all of it and not spend it on junk, that’s fine with me. Is that what she’s getting at? Because I can’t get past when she calls it “selfish “ to keep money.

I agree with that. Not everything she’s saying is crazy, I totally appreciate the effort to teach kids how to manage their money and save for what they want and spend reasonably for extra things they’d like beyond basic needs & gifts. But if the child earns the money as these kids do with their chores, I think they should be allowed to decide what to do with it, even if that means saving it when they’re not sure what for yet.

As for Tom not donating money or helping others, he has addressed this before and I remember him looking super uncomfortable while talking about it. He said they have some audio bible setups that they gift to people as a form of charity (barf) and besides that they give when they see need to throughout their lives and they don’t make a show of it. While I agree with not making a show of your own generosity, it sure is a convenient excuse for Tom to not share that he actually isn’t generous at all...

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I had a dream last night that I adopted about half of the Mills kids and Hannah Rodrigues. They seemed excited to get to go to school, eat healthy food, and have the chance to be normal kids ? 

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It truly is beyond my comprehension that “those people” continue to send gifts, money, clothes, gift cards.  It’s ridiculous.    Tom does not need, or deserve, any of those items.   He has never appreciated it, he never will.   He throws things in the corner when he receives them.  He can’t remember when he received things, or who they are from.  From the very beginning after Andrea died he openly complained about the food people had lovingly prepared and delivered to them.  He complained about that the 2-3 months it was taking place.  He complained about the gifts he received....except for the cash, gift cards, and his favorite candies.  His words and actions were/are ungrateful and unkind.    Yet, “they” continue to try to outdo each other with gifts.    If those people really do have that much disposable income, for months on end, give it to a worthy cause.   That will never happen.  If they have that many free hours every day to be glued to their screens watching pathetic Tom ride a bike, trying to build a bathroom, watching him eat like the slob that he is, listen to his heavy sighs and woe is me - go volunteer for a worthy cause.   It’s mind boggling.  

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2 hours ago, potato said:

I had a dream last night that I adopted about half of the Mills kids and Hannah Rodrigues. They seemed excited to get to go to school, eat healthy food, and have the chance to be normal kids ? 

Which half did you adopt? I think Tom is dragging out the bathroom because of the attention he gets from doing it. during one video Claudia complained she had to use the bathroom but she thought Sophia was in there. Eden checked for her and it might have been empty but hurry up Tom and get another toilet for these kids!! I also was worried watching Thomas and Judah wrestle. I think Thomas was being mean and Judah was upset. I heard him say to Thomas you're going to break my neck! Tom just laughed. 

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3 hours ago, Grandma D said:

Which half did you adopt?

They all had the option of staying with Tom or coming with me and I remember adopting Asher, Eden, Solomon and maybe Claudia. At least one more of them came with me and Thomas, Hannah, and maybe Justus stayed with Tom. 

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6 hours ago, potato said:

They all had the option of staying with Tom or coming with me and I remember adopting Asher, Eden, Solomon and maybe Claudia. At least one more of them came with me and Thomas, Hannah, and maybe Justus stayed with Tom. 

Glad to hear Asher was there. People comment how much he does for his age and Tom and his sidekick Rachel (my theory is she spends so much time with Tom so that her husband will finally kick her out and she can show up on Toms door with bags and kids in hand ready to replace Andrea) respond he does it for love of his family. That he does the work Tom is supposed to do because he wants to help and how can Tom deny him that privilege. Well Tom could do the work! Not send Alexa after him to put his sister to bed. Give the overworked kid a break. He stays up late to take care of Hannah Then gets up early to clean.  He can't be getting enough sleep for a kid his age. But maybe he is happy taking over for his mother who died less than a year ago! Tom is out of his mind!

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Asher full on became the mom in the family. Maybe the only thing he doesn’t have to do yet is dinners, but he feeds the kids breakfast and lunch, homeschools them and fully takes care of the youngest 4.  
He serves their food, does the dishes and is supposed to take mental note of what is needed in the house to purchase. 
He basically took over 75% of what Andrea would do ( dinner cooking and laundry) 

All of that for a young boy who should be getting his drivers license and getting his first job somewhere away from the house. 
?
 

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