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Duggars by the Dozen 39: Practicing Social Distancing by.... Having Family Night


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12 hours ago, Idlewild said:

It could be they are waiting for lockdown to end to maximise on magazine sales or endorsements. At one time Jinger & Jeremy seemed to have a live in photographer - there were so many shots of them!

Lock down in Cali isn't ending until at least August, she'd give birth before Cali really opens up. Providing she's 3 or more months preggo now.  

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I previously thought Jinger was pregnant due to the hashtag and the formal pictures, but the more time passes without an announcement, I’m not sure anymore. I don’t see J&J being the type to keep quiet about the news until she’s 9 months or the baby has already arrived. Especially during a pandemic! “Life May be crazy right now but God has blessed us” etc etc type of thinking from them. 

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16 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

I also think she is preggers. There was a photo last month (no not of her belly) it was a family one. Felicity was standing up and they were in the background. It just looked like (to me) it was part of some (holding up)I’m gunna be a  big sister sign, photo shoot. But as the time goes on and that hasn’t come to light, I’m left wondering. Reminds me of when  everyone guessed Kendra was pregnant based on the new professional photos she had up.  

I was thinking Jinger as well, if for no other reason than that would put her kids  roughly 2 1/2 years apart - which seems to be a spacing that many families like if they are have 2 or 3 kids.
I can’t really picture them with more than that. Although they’re young, so they could have a couple now, a couple more in her 30’s.  Just don’t seem like the types to want a huge gaggle of dirt and chaos and noise. More the carefully raised, extra activities, neatly dressed and combed family. 

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On 5/14/2020 at 10:33 AM, AussieKrissy said:

when does everyone else think they should have stopped? 

I think Michelle should have stopped before she ever got involved with Jim Bob. I think they fed on each other, getting fundier and fundier over time. She'd have been better off staying the bikini-wearing cheerleader she was, and the two of them never having any kids at all.

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5 hours ago, Alisamer said:

I think Michelle should have stopped before she ever got involved with Jim Bob. I think they fed on each other, getting fundier and fundier over time. She'd have been better off staying the bikini-wearing cheerleader she was, and the two of them never having any kids at all.

You guys are making me think. I thought my mother (Catholic, the pious martyr variety) might have done better if she'd have had fewer children, at least stopped with 3 after a doctor told her not to go on. But now I'm realizing a malignant narcissist would have been one even with one kid. On the plus side she wouldn't have been able to turn a bunch of kids against each other, but she sure would have screwed up the only one. Some people should not have children, period. I do agree if Michelle had not met JBoob she might have turned into a decent mother, but then again, he obviously resonated with something deep in her.

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Jinger will announce soon.

Basis: Felicity is almost 2. I understand that's about the ideal 'spacing' for kids, unless you want really large age gaps... but I don't think J&J do. I also doubt Felicity will be an only child - if nothing else, Jeremy will want a son. Picture perfect family!

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There will be at least one pandemic baby born in the Duggar family. You can only read the Bible for so long before you get bored. 

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Duggars: Frumpin' and Humpin'

gotta get those corona babies out

Edited by finnlassie
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3 hours ago, DarkAnts said:

There will be at least one pandemic baby born in the Duggar family. You can only read the Bible for so long before you get bored. 

But I don’t think their lives (other than jinger’s) has been all that different. So maybe we should bet on her lol 

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9 hours ago, DarkAnts said:

There will be at least one pandemic baby born in the Duggar family. You can only read the Bible for so long before you get bored. 

I wonder if that's the Fundie version of that question/joke where one woman asks another or a group of women which she/they prefers sex or cake? Only to be asked what kind of cake? Fundie woman asks another which she prefers sex or reading the Bible? Only to be asked which Bible passage? 

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For those who say that Michelle should haven't had any kids... I don't agree. Let me explain.

I'm sure all of you, if knew me, would say I'm a good mother. Not perfect, but nice. But I'm sure than having several kids closed in age would have turned me in an awful mom. And I'm not even talking about 19, it would be enough 4-5 closed in age. I looooove babies more than Michelle, but I cannot cope with more than 1 baby/toddler at a time. 

Of course, I know myself, so I have only 2 kids with a big age gap between them. I'm happy, they are happy. 

My point is that there are few people who shouldn't have any child. Lori is one of them, Teri Maxwell too (for different reasons!). But when I think of Zsu, Michelle, and others, I see clearly how adding arrows have destroyed themselves, changed their personalities and even caused some kind of mental damage. Of course they decided. Of course they are to blame, and I don't condone their decisions. I just try to explain that being a horrible mom with your #8 does not mean you were horrible with your #2.

Also, considering that only perfect women can have children is too hard for me. Any if us are perfect. Fundies or not, some of us are too selfish, too impatient, too strict, too whatever. I have never meet a perfect parent (while some look perfect in public).

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1 hour ago, Melissa1977 said:

I'm sure all of you, if knew me, would say I'm a good mother. Not perfect, but nice. But I'm sure than having several kids closed in age would have turned me in an awful mom. And I'm not even talking about 19, it would be enough 4-5 closed in age. I looooove babies more than Michelle, but I cannot cope with more than 1 baby/toddler at a time. 

I wholeheartedly agree with what you say. I's just impossible to correctly care for four or five babies and toddlers. Anyone would learn to hate their children under these circomstances ! Also, as you can't really care normally for that many young children, those fundie mothers develop unhealthy survival mechanisms : they learn to cut corners that shouln't be cut, to reduce the effort spent on each child to the bare minimum, to mistreat and ignore them so they demand less individual attention. Instead of learning how to get along with their babies, they learn how to protect themselves from them. Later, instead of acknowledging that they didn't treat their children correctly when they were young, they rationalise their parenting as a deliberate choice, made in accordance with their "principles", and vehemently refuse to admit to themselves that what they did was neglect and abuse, made necessary by the unbearable living situation they found themselves in. So they double down on the "character education" and "biblical parenting". I am quite sure none of these people know how to actually deal with crying babies, angry toddlers or moody teenagers, as they never had the opportunity or time to develop the necessary skills.

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11 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

For those who say that Michelle should haven't had any kids... I don't agree. Let me explain.

I'm sure all of you, if knew me, would say I'm a good mother. Not perfect, but nice. But I'm sure than having several kids closed in age would have turned me in an awful mom. And I'm not even talking about 19, it would be enough 4-5 closed in age. I looooove babies more than Michelle, but I cannot cope with more than 1 baby/toddler at a time. 

Of course, I know myself, so I have only 2 kids with a big age gap between them. I'm happy, they are happy. 

My point is that there are few people who shouldn't have any child. Lori is one of them, Teri Maxwell too (for different reasons!). But when I think of Zsu, Michelle, and others, I see clearly how adding arrows have destroyed themselves, changed their personalities and even caused some kind of mental damage. Of course they decided. Of course they are to blame, and I don't condone their decisions. I just try to explain that being a horrible mom with your #8 does not mean you were horrible with your #2.

Also, considering that only perfect women can have children is too hard for me. Any if us are perfect. Fundies or not, some of us are too selfish, too impatient, too strict, too whatever. I have never meet a perfect parent (while some look perfect in public).

and with Zsu we have seen the downward spiral from good mom to bad mom. In the older days of her blog she had awful views but you could tell she loved her kids and was doing what she felt was best despite awful views

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I also think the back to back to back kids really got to Michelle. If she had spaced her  next child after JD and Jana out  by 4 years instead of 1, i could definitely see her being a loving mother to 4-5 children.  That's a couple of kids shy of  the laundry room breakdown with at least one decent spacing between kids. 

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I'm just kind of thinking out loud here but I wonder if that's what happened with my mother. She had 5 kids in less than 7 years. I'm #4 & I know at one point she had 3 of us in diapers at one time. 

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Can someone please remind me of when Jed's election should be? I kinda lost track between COVID and everything...thanks 

I'm wondering when he will announce a courtship if there is one in the making for him to present a better image for the election. I think he will have to be engaged at least to present her on the campaign, I mean, it sure gives a better image to say he is going to marry a girl and start a family in a couple of months than to say he is just a white penis holder boy who has never done anything by himself. 

Edited by Italiangirl
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Still waiting for The Caldwell/Duggar courtship announcement.....are they waiting til they’re married and expecting before announcing? 

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3 hours ago, Ever said:

Still waiting for The Caldwell/Duggar courtship announcement.....are they waiting til they’re married and expecting before announcing? 

They’re waiting for the new series. If it doesn’t appear on TLC & an accompanying photo shoot in People magazine, does it really happen?? 

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6 hours ago, Idlewild said:

They’re waiting for the new series. If it doesn’t appear on TLC & an accompanying photo shoot in People magazine, does it really happen?? 

which boy? james and lauren?

I am still waiting for the one that looks like jill hmm maybe Justin, the one that had the review photo with a girl all chummy to announce. 

6 hours ago, Idlewild said:

They’re waiting for the new series. If it doesn’t appear on TLC & an accompanying photo shoot in People magazine, does it really happen?? 

also I can not believe there is only one pregnant person (joy) in the whole duggar and bates bunch

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When two of my rabbit holes have a strange and insightful overlapping moment...

 

3E7755E9-22F1-485D-909C-FC61BC286A91.jpeg

Edited by neuroticcat
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I also agree that they’ve learned tools to manage and control their kids not necessarily parent them. I’m reading two parenting books right now: “Boundaries with Teens” and “How to Talk So Your Little Kids Will Listen.”
 

Both make great points about empathy, individuation, and preparing your child to be independent. It’s wild how completely opposite these tools are from the behavioral control and toxins c performance parenting of fundies/ATI.

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10 hours ago, neuroticcat said:

I also agree that they’ve learned tools to manage and control their kids not necessarily parent them. I’m reading two parenting books right now: “Boundaries with Teens” and “How to Talk So Your Little Kids Will Listen.”
 

Both make great points about empathy, individuation, and preparing your child to be independent. It’s wild how completely opposite these tools are from the behavioral control and toxins c performance parenting of fundies/ATI.

Is the second book aimed at all ages or just teens also? I have a four year old. 
edit. Der I just re read and saw the word “little”

lol answered my own question. 

Edited by AussieKrissy
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1 hour ago, AussieKrissy said:

Is the second book aimed at all ages or just teens also? I have a four year old. 
edit. Der I just re read and saw the word “little”

lol answered my own question. 

The authors have tweaked it for every age level - I think there’s four volumes total. It’s been a game changer for me and my four year hold and I highly recommend it. Lots about empathy and helping them articulate feelings and problem solve. So good!

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7 minutes ago, neuroticcat said:

The authors have tweaked it for every age level - I think there’s four volumes total. It’s been a game changer for me and my four year hold and I highly recommend it. Lots about empathy and helping them articulate feelings and problem solve. So good!

Yes! I love these books and also the one about siblings. Siblings Without Rivalry? 

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