Bontragers/Bowers 5: It Is Really not Okay to Date Your Brother

[JermajestyDuggar]

If she did just get engaged over the weekend, she was planning the wedding leading up to the official engagement. There’s no way she could plan this wedding in such a short time frame while touring around the country for over a month. It’s insane to me that she isn’t allowed to stay home and plan her wedding. Carson stayed home one summer before he was ever married because he wanted to work on the farm. But Allison isn’t allowed. She’s going to be so stressed out. Bontragers have large weddings because they have a huge extended family and a lot of friends.

[Smash!]

19 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

Or she could have been honest about dating and said “this is how I did things while I was single” guess she didn’t want anyone to know she was dating in case it fell through. Which is dumb. I know they are trying to show that courtship works and dating doesn’t but still.

True. But the Bontragers only announce relationships when the engagement already happened. So she just could've stayed silent about the topic of singlehood.

2 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

She’s going to be so stressed out. Bontragers have large weddings because they have a huge extended family and a lot of friends.

I'm curious about how this wedding is going down in times of corona. But nevermind, their children walk around with chickenpox so who cares about a virus right?

[JermajestyDuggar]

16 minutes ago, Smash! said:

True. But the Bontragers only announce relationships when the engagement already happened. So she just could've stayed silent about the topic of singlehood.

I'm curious about how this wedding is going down in times of corona. But nevermind, their children walk around with chickenpox so who cares about a virus right?

They’ve been attending church for a month where the big chorus sings and spews germs all over each other shoulder to shoulder. They will be traveling around the country from one church to another where no one likely social distances or wears masks. They will act like there is no such thing as coronavirus just like they did at Jesse Maxwell’s recent wedding.

[browngrl]

I for one welcome Alison's post on her "seasons" of singleness and marriage. I'm sure she will have all sorts of cogent commentary and helpful tips. Let me guess two: focus on Jesus while single, go on dates to keep it fresh when married. I was only single for about 30 or so years and only married for 20 so what do I know? I await with bated breath.

[HereticHick]

1 hour ago, browngrl said:

I for one welcome Alison's post on her "seasons" of singleness and marriage. I'm sure she will have all sorts of cogent commentary and helpful tips. Let me guess two: focus on Jesus while single, go on dates to keep it fresh when married. I was only single for about 30 or so years and only married for 20 so what do I know? I await with bated breath.

You forgot  the importance of dressing like a  woman, you pants-wearing strumpet.

[AverageGiraffe]

1 hour ago, HereticHick said:

You forgot  the importance of dressing like a  woman, you pants-wearing strumpet.

Not just like a woman. A classy woman. With class. And classy touches. Have you thought about wearing a necklace? It's so feminine and classy. Be modest, of course, but also feminine. And classy. 

[Themanda Duggar]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

If she did just get engaged over the weekend, she was planning the wedding leading up to the official engagement. There’s no way she could plan this wedding in such a short time frame while touring around the country for over a month. 

I disagree.  If they have the wedding at the farm, and make all the food themselves, with help from family and friends, how much do they really have to plan?  
The things they’ll have to buy or rent can be arranged on line.  Invitations can be ordered on line and delivered to her anywhere, or the can do on line invitations.  Planning a wedding can be as simple or as complicated as you want it to be.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, Themanda Duggar said:

I disagree.  If they have the wedding at the farm, and make all the food themselves, with help from family and friends, how much do they really have to plan?  
The things they’ll have to buy or rent can be arranged on line.  Invitations can be ordered on line and delivered to her anywhere, or the can do on line invitations.  Planning a wedding can be as simple or as complicated as you want it to be.

When she orders these things online, where will they be delivered? To their home of course. And she won’t be able to personally inspect them herself. If something is wrong with them, she will have to get someone home on the farm send it back. They are constantly moving when on tour, so it could be a real pain figuring out exactly where to get something delivered at the right time. A large wedding will be a lot to plan even if it’s kept very simple on their farm with lots of help. Chelsy seemed beyond stressed about her wedding. I’m guessing Allison will too. 

[HereticHick]

20 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

When she orders these things online, where will they be delivered? To their home of course. And she won’t be able to personally inspect them herself. If something is wrong with them, she will have to get someone home on the farm send it back. They are constantly moving when on tour, so it could be a real pain figuring out exactly where to get something delivered at the right time. A large wedding will be a lot to plan even if it’s kept very simple on their farm with lots of help. Chelsy seemed beyond stressed about her wedding. I’m guessing Allison will too. 

Yup. I think what will be especially difficult will be the clothing for the bridal party. And I guess invitations will just have to be electronic?

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, HereticHick said:

Yup. I think what will be especially difficult will be the clothing for the bridal party. And I guess invitations will just have to be electronic?

She will probably find a dress like Chelsy. A very stretchy cheap material that can fit anyone, pregnant or not. 

[albireo]

7 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

She will probably find a dress like Chelsy. A very stretchy cheap material that can fit anyone, pregnant or not. 

She's been asking for recommendations for bridesmaid dress shops on IG. I feel like that's cutting it close, but anything is possible with a fundie engagement.

[JermajestyDuggar]

47 minutes ago, albireo said:

She's been asking for recommendations for bridesmaid dress shops on IG. I feel like that's cutting it close, but anything is possible with a fundie engagement.

I imagine she will run out of time and will have to find something like this on Amazon. It’s stretchy, comes in different sizes, and it’s cheap. But I could see her wanting a dress like this but with a long skirt:

[NancyDrewFan1989]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I imagine she will run out of time and will have to find something like this on Amazon. It’s stretchy, comes in different sizes, and it’s cheap. But I could see her wanting a dress like this but with a long skirt:

That is a nice dress for a bridesmaid. I have a feeling Allison is going to go with something like this. 

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

She will probably find a dress like Chelsy. A very stretchy cheap material that can fit anyone, pregnant or not. 

She'll probably take Chelsy's advice for a few things. I just hope that she doesn't do what Chelsy did and pick out the first maternity dress she sees because it was convenient enough to fit everyone. Plus Chelsy said she didn't want a frumpy bridesmaid dresses. IDK what Chelsy's definition of frumpy was, but the dresses sure were, in my opinion. Hopefully, Allison has a different definition.

Edited June 5, 2020 by NancyDrewFan1989
edit

[NancyDrewFan1989]

On 6/2/2020 at 10:33 AM, anachronistic said:

I’m just happy for her because she is so clearly miserable touring on that bus all the time. I think that knowing it’s her last time doing it will make this tour a lot more bearable for her.

also, she specifically says dating, not courting. That’s interesting as I don’t recall other fundies doing it.

For some reason I see Allison and Jeremiah continuing to travel with the family band like Josh and Cass did for a bit. I do believe they will have their own space some how. Plus, I only see the Bontragers continuing on with their family band for only a few more years. I see them slowing down once Denver (20) and Taylor (18) get married. For some reason I think we are going to get an engagement announcement sometime either late this year or next year for one or both of them. Just a hunch.

I really think Allison was looking to get married as soon as her BFF big sister Chelsy got married and moved all the way to Kansas along with her three brothers. I don't think she liked being the eldest living at home as she probably had to take on more responsibilities forcing her to become more of a SAHD. Before her four siblings got married she seemed happy touring with the family and living and working at the inn, so I really think she is ready to move on.

[fundiefan]

I can't even say I'm looking forward to her engagement/wedding/marriage season musings in a snarky manner. She lives in a world I find really hard to comprehend or understand. Being a 20-something so obsessed with brothers, singleness, family, marriage, clothes - - wait, she is exactly as frivolous as the average American teenager she claims to be so different from. 

I don't doubt that her "classy" wedding is going to be among the tackiest Pinterest interpretations we've ever seen. 

Edited June 5, 2020 by fundiefan

[JermajestyDuggar]

17 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

I can't even say I'm looking forward to her engagement/wedding/marriage season musings in a snarky manner. She lives in a world I find really hard to comprehend or understand. Being a 20-something so obsessed with brothers, singleness, family, marriage, clothes - - wait, she is exactly as frivolous as the average American teenager she claims to be so different from. 

I don't doubt that her "classy" wedding is going to be among the tackiest Pinterest interpretations we've ever seen. 

The thing is, she’s got so little time to plan a huge wedding. Chelsy was so stressed out she forgot her vows in her dressing room and had to run off for like 3 minutes while everyone just sat there waiting. She still didn’t find them and read them off a phone. Plus she may have less help since her 4 married siblings all have kids. It’s harder to lend a hand preparing for a wedding when you have little ones to mind. And by August, 3 siblings will have a toddler AND an infant to deal with. Chelsy didn’t even go fancy and detailed with her wedding and she had more time to plan than Allison. Yet she was stressed and had a ton of work to do.

[NancyDrewFan1989]

28 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

The thing is, she’s got so little time to plan a huge wedding. Chelsy was so stressed out she forgot her vows in her dressing room and had to run off for like 3 minutes while everyone just sat there waiting. She still didn’t find them and read them off a phone. Plus she may have less help since her 4 married siblings all have kids. It’s harder to lend a hand preparing for a wedding when you have little ones to mind. And by August, 3 siblings will have a toddler AND an infant to deal with. Chelsy didn’t even go fancy and detailed with her wedding and she had more time to plan than Allison. Yet she was stressed and had a ton of work to do.

Allison isn't the first fundie to plan a wedding like this. For some reason fundies either have a long courtship or engagement. I do think Allison knew a ring was coming from Jeremiah at some point, so it wouldn't shock me if she had started doing some wedding planning shortly before he proposed. Plus Allison's has been wanting to put her SAHD days behind her, it wouldn't surprise me if she started planning the moment she realized Chelsy was leaving and Mitchell was going to be taking over most of her job duties at the inn. 

[Dominionatrix]

In the Bontrager blog's semi-recent post about visiting Chelsy Allison is wearing a shirt that says "Quad Bros." There is a Quad Brothers Trucking & Excavating company in Mountain Lake, MN, home of Allison's intended. It appears to be owned, or at least run, by his brother. Based on the fact that Allison is sporting this shirt, perhaps this is where Jeremiah works, too. I wonder if he and his family will allow Allison to contribute to the business in a meaningful way; she gives the impression of being entrepreneurial. 

[SolomonFundy]

But does a Quad Bros tee shirt prop up little Winston's manhood? I'm going to need an "betrothed season" blog post to unpack my feelings on this, Allison.

[Melissa1977]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

The thing is, she’s got so little time to plan a huge wedding. Chelsy was so stressed out she forgot her vows in her dressing room and had to run off for like 3 minutes while everyone just sat there waiting. She still didn’t find them and read them off a phone. Plus she may have less help since her 4 married siblings all have kids. It’s harder to lend a hand preparing for a wedding when you have little ones to mind. And by August, 3 siblings will have a toddler AND an infant to deal with. Chelsy didn’t even go fancy and detailed with her wedding and she had more time to plan than Allison. Yet she was stressed and had a ton of work to do.

I got the impression that Chelsy had to do everything alone. I suppose she had some help, of course, but she was mostly on her own. It was a bit sad.

I think Chelsy and John outdoor wedding pictures were beautiful with the snow and her turquoise foulard, but the indoors looked like they were in a very dark place, which is not the best light for wedding pictures.

Overall, she did her best, sew a nice dress for herself and had some decorations at the reception. And was barefoot, which for some reason was a very important detail for her.

Alison may have still less help! She badly wants a country but fancy wedding and getting good results on that style take a lot of effort.

[Smash!]

I felt very bad for Allison when her brother and his new wife took over the Inn. It looked like she found much joy in that job she had and in my secular view it's so cruel the position was taken away from her only because her sibling has a penis and more importantly he's married and thus an adult. 

[Melissa1977]

59 minutes ago, Smash! said:

I felt very bad for Allison when her brother and his new wife took over the Inn. It looked like she found much joy in that job she had and in my secular view it's so cruel the position was taken away from her only because her sibling has a penis and more importantly he's married and thus an adult. 

She's energetic and interested in business. She could be good working as a manager, or getting a degree in economy. It's a pity how fundies lose all their potential.

Edited June 5, 2020 by Melissa1977
Spelling

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

I got the impression that Chelsy had to do everything alone. I suppose she had some help, of course, but she was mostly on her own. It was a bit sad.

I think Chelsy and John outdoor wedding pictures were beautiful with the snow and her turquoise foulard, but the indoors looked like they were in a very dark place, which is not the best light for wedding pictures.

Overall, she did her best, sew a nice dress for herself and had some decorations at the reception. And was barefoot, which for some reason was a very important detail for her.

Alison may have still less help! She badly wants a country but fancy wedding and getting good results on that style take a lot of effort.

What’s sad is that when it came to the triple wedding weekend of the Bon Brothers, everyone seemed to do a lot of work. They all pitched in. It’s unfair that Allison helped with the other weddings and now she’s likely going to get a lot less help because her oldest siblings are married with children. 

[petrushka]

The family summer singing tour looks punishing to me.  I have to assume that Allison will have some outside wedding  help if Pa and Ma Bontrager expect her to perform for the duration of the tour.  Their final singing date (Aug. 9) is in Bemidji MN about 4 hours north of Mountain Lake where I believe Jeremiah's family lives.  I say just stop the bus there, say the "I do's" and drop Allison off before heading home.  

 

[HereticHick]

6 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

But does a Quad Bros tee shirt prop up little Winston's manhood? I'm going to need an "betrothed season" blog post to unpack my feelings on this, Allison.

Props to @Dominionatrix for having a good eye. I would have preferred that Alison paired that t-shirt with a classy feminine necklace myself! classy.