Bontragers/Bowers 5: It Is Really not Okay to Date Your Brother

[neurogirl]

Maybe Allison was surprised! I can't snark that particular outfit. My guy and I had been dating for six years, had picked out a ring - I knew an engagement was coming at some point. For every formal occasion I got really nervous/excited. The actual moment happened on a fishing boat, at my favorite spot in the world, when I was wearing a tank top and shorts. It was perfect because I wasn't nervous and in some ways I enjoyed that day more than my wedding, which was delightful and magical but also terrifying and stressful. 

Anyway, I'm usually a girly girl with dresses and makeup but the happiest moment of my life happened when I least expected it and was the best. These fundie daughters have so little that I hope it was a great moment for Allison too.

Spoiler

 

[NancyDrewFan1989]

41 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

I wonder if Jeremiah has attended Josh Bontrager's so mighty. much men. camp, or whatever its called. Here are last year's campers:

 

 

There are a couple guys in there who look like him. But, I really can't tell for sure because of the only known photo of Jeremiah you can't get a good look at his face. I wouldn't be surprised if he went though.

[NachosFlandersStyle]

1 hour ago, HereticHick said:

I wonder if Jeremiah has attended Josh Bontrager's so mighty. much men. camp, or whatever its called. Here are last year's campers:

Top right, collared shirt?

[justmy2cents]

31 minutes ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

Top right, collared shirt?

That’s the one that stood out to me too.

[Jasmar]

I just can’t with the Mighty Men bullshit. I mean, I know it’s a reference from the Old Testament/David, but it’s just so full of hubris. Mighty Men, indeed. Can’t even protect their frail little hearts from a woman in shorts.

[anjulibai]

Congrats to Allison, since this is definitely what she has wanted. I hope this guy is good to her. 

You know, in light of this, her single posts kind of take on a different meaning. They had seemed rather pathetic and grasping, but now I kind of see them as condescending. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

8 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

They had seemed rather pathetic and grasping, but now I kind of see them as condescending

I was sure she was seeing someone this past Valentine’s Day and that’s why I read them exactly that way. Condescending. Like giving all those poor single fundie gals a little pat on the head saying, “your time will come too dearie. Just pray and be patient.”

[Giraffe]

20 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I was sure she was seeing someone this past Valentine’s Day and that’s why I read them exactly that way. Condescending. Like giving all those poor single fundie gals a little pat on the head saying, “your time will come too dearie. Just pray and be patient.”

This is why I hated church singles groups. There was never any focus on the verses that say singleness is good and building a solo life and remaining single is perfectly acceptable. It was always "Be content in Jesus while you're single! Rest in the comfort of Jesus while you're single........because your Prince Charming is right around the corner and he's going to be so much more attracted to someone who's content being single!" I gave up reading books for "singles" because I never found one that was anything other that "how to patiently wait for your Prince to arrive!" It's a setup for depression, or at least was for me because people thought my satisfaction with singleness was some special precursor to finding Mr Right rather than a genuine desire to remain single.

[JermajestyDuggar]

8 minutes ago, Giraffe said:

This is why I hated church singles groups. There was never any focus on the verses that say singleness is good and building a solo life and remaining single is perfectly acceptable. It was always "Be content in Jesus while you're single! Rest in the comfort of Jesus while you're single........because your Prince Charming is right around the corner and he's going to be so much more attracted to someone who's content being single!" I gave up reading books for "singles" because I never found one that was anything other that "how to patiently wait for your Prince to arrive!" It's a setup for depression, or at least was for me because people thought my satisfaction with singleness was some special precursor to finding Mr Right rather than a genuine desire to remain single.

I felt the pressure in mainstream culture. I remember always being asked if I had a boyfriends starting at the ripe old age of 5 ? I never had a boyfriend because I was an overweight tomboy that was taller than all the boys until high school. It made me feel like crap because everyone else had boyfriends. All my friends wanted to talk about was boys. And I got really bored of it. I never ask my niece, nephews, little cousins if they have girlfriend/boyfriend. I would rather ask about school or extra cirriculars. My boys say they never want to get married when they grow up and I always tell them that’s just fine. No one has to get married. 

[SPHASH]

So which brother did Allison break up with?

[JermajestyDuggar]

Just now, SPHASH said:

So which brother did Allison break up with?

Carson, Mitch, and Josh all dumped her on the triple wedding weekend a few years ago. And now she’s dumping Denver. She was never dating Lincoln and Hudson. She was only nurturing their manhood.

[VBOY9977]

Bontragers posted on the blog. His name is Jeremiah Helferich and they’re getting married on August 15th. I think they’ve been engaged for a while already. Chelsy hid her engagement for like a month and a half iirc

Edited June 2, 2020 by VBOY9977

[JermajestyDuggar]

Helferich isn’t a great last name. I looked up how to pronounce and it kind of sounds like “hell-fer-itch.” But Bontrager can be easy to butcher too.

[mango_fandango]

Allison’s engaged? I do hope she’s happy. She was clearly desperate to be in a relationship. 
 

I wasn’t interested in boys until I was around 18. The fact that I went to an all-girls’ school from 11-18 may have been a factor, as I wasn’t around them all the time, but plenty of the girls there had boyfriends. I didn’t have many close friends while there, and the ones I did have weren’t obsessed with guys, thankfully. When I got to university my social anxiety was in full swing... yeah, no boyfriend there either. I am grateful that my friends/relatives weren’t (and aren’t) the types to ask me if I’ve got a boyfriend/partner yet, because it’s complicated. Besides, it’s none of their damn business!

[NachosFlandersStyle]

A little snooping on Facebook suggests that the Helferichs are from Wyoming. Wonder if that's where they plan to live.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Just now, NachosFlandersStyle said:

A little snooping on Facebook suggests that the Helferichs are from Wyoming. Wonder if that's where they plan to live.

Minnesota too. That’s my guess. 

[ophelia]

6 hours ago, neurogirl said:

Maybe Allison was surprised! I can't snark that particular outfit. My guy and I had been dating for six years, had picked out a ring - I knew an engagement was coming at some point. For every formal occasion I got really nervous/excited. The actual moment happened on a fishing boat, at my favorite spot in the world, when I was wearing a tank top and shorts. It was perfect because I wasn't nervous and in some ways I enjoyed that day more than my wedding, which was delightful and magical but also terrifying and stressful. 

Anyway, I'm usually a girly girl with dresses and makeup but the happiest moment of my life happened when I least expected it and was the best. These fundie daughters have so little that I hope it was a great moment for Allison too.

  Hide contents

 

What a sweet picture!! You look gorgeous and very very happy.

[SolomonFundy]

I'm going to call shenanigans on the outfit. The point isn't that she may have been surprised**, because by her logic, a woman should ALWAYS be feminine, appealing, beautiful, and ready to prop up the manhood of any male in near proximity. So either Jeremiah drops sexy compliments about how fetching she looks in Lumberjane Chic and the outfit was meant to appeal to his taste, or she truly feels that this outfit is incredibly feminine, or she is going through a Christ-centered Cobain phase.

 

** I doubt she could have been surprised even if she wanted that, since Fundy Maidens frequently get tipped off by the various men in the house being asked permission to accept ownership of them. She spends every waking moment with those people in a single home. She's aware of the undercurrents, and probably dropped hints to her dad about rings, proposal locations, and timing that he then imparted to Jeremiah.

[hollyfeller]

So I was catching up on some of the old blog posts and I saw that at least 5 of their kids had chicken pox recently.  And some of them were teenagers, by the looks of it.  Way to allow preventable diseases to run rampant!  And maybe cause your kids to have scars in their most insecure years.  Sheesh.

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 hours ago, hollyfeller said:

So I was catching up on some of the old blog posts and I saw that at least 5 of their kids had chicken pox recently.  And some of them were teenagers, by the looks of it.  Way to allow preventable diseases to run rampant!  And maybe cause your kids to have scars in their most insecure years.  Sheesh.

We talked about it and we agree that it’s a crappy but predictable fundie thing to do. I know from my experience that they can leave scars and I will feel bad for them if any scar their faces.

[petrushka]

9 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Minnesota too. That’s my guess. 

Found an old article about a Mrs. Helferich from Mountain Lake MN.  Apparently they do missionary work in Mexico during the winter and live in MN in the summer.  Wouldn't surprise me if Allison met Jeremiah while her family was on tour.  My guess FWIW.

https://www.postbulletin.com/butterfield-s-summer-kitchen-rolling-in-the-dough/article_04e3a2b1-4348-520c-9978-7ca1ff20c305.html

[JermajestyDuggar]

Since he seems to live in southern Minnesota, they won’t be extremely far from her hometown. Which is likely a major plus for her. I doubt she would want to be that far from the family farm but she will now be further away from Chelsy. 

[VBOY9977]

There’s an article about a Jeremiah S. Helferich in Mountain Lake Minnesota Who got in a car accident. Pretty sure it’s him. It’s from July 2015 and says he was 19 at the time. 
 

https://www.cross-countiesconnect.com/2015/07/mountain-lake-man-involved-in-i-90-freeborn-county-accident/

Edited June 2, 2020 by VBOY9977

[HereticHick]

1 hour ago, petrushka said:

Found an old article about a Mrs. Helferich from Mountain Lake MN.  Apparently they do missionary work in Mexico during the winter and live in MN in the summer.  Wouldn't surprise me if Allison met Jeremiah while her family was on tour.  My guess FWIW.

https://www.postbulletin.com/butterfield-s-summer-kitchen-rolling-in-the-dough/article_04e3a2b1-4348-520c-9978-7ca1ff20c305.html

Remember how Allison has spent time doing missionary work in Mexico?  Fall 2016, for example: http://bontragersingers.blogspot.com/2017/02/allisons-fall-in-mexico-recap.html  Lots of blonde Mennonite girls around. I bet  at least one of them is a Helferich.

[petrushka]

8 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

I'm going to call shenanigans on the outfit. The point isn't that she may have been surprised**, because by her logic, a woman should ALWAYS be feminine, appealing, beautiful, and ready to prop up the manhood of any male in near proximity. So either Jeremiah drops sexy compliments about how fetching she looks in Lumberjane Chic and the outfit was meant to appeal to his taste, or she truly feels that this outfit is incredibly feminine, or she is going through a Christ-centered Cobain phase.

 

** I doubt she could have been surprised even if she wanted that, since Fundy Maidens frequently get tipped off by the various men in the house being asked permission to accept ownership of them. She spends every waking moment with those people in a single home. She's aware of the undercurrents, and probably dropped hints to her dad about rings, proposal locations, and timing that he then imparted to Jeremiah.

Yeah, I think she was appealing to his likes; I also don't think she was surprised one bit.