Bontragers/Bowers 5: It Is Really not Okay to Date Your Brother

[fundiefan]

1 minute ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

He’s finally sentimental after his tirade. Fuck that. 

But not actually about Allison. About Allison's godly influence on others; about Allison's sycophant note thanking HIM. 

This wedding isn't about Allison & Jeremiah. It's about Marlin's balls & how big he has to try to prove they are. 

And we thought without Steve Maxwell there would be no talk about daddy's balls. How wrong we were.

 

[BirdgirlH]

Wow, shocked at how BAD this was! Can't help but feel for Allison yikes

 

Edited August 15, 2020 by BirdgirlH

[JermajestyDuggar]

Chelsy must be thinking, “well that was even worse than the Maxwell scrotum ceremony speech at my wedding.”

Edited August 15, 2020 by JermajestyDuggar

[fundieundies]

I just got here and I already wish I was drunk - Marlin THAT is the effect you have on people.

[HereticHick]

I'm unclear what is going on now. Its like a wedding intermission?

[ADoyle90815]

Just wait until he sees that comment on the church's Facebook page.

[paideiamama]

3 minutes ago, Italiangirl said:

5 minutes ago, paideiamama said:

Marlin just gave them a homework assignment for their honeymoon.

What??! Let me bet something about go and multiply for God? Geez this man!

Lol a start on multiplying was definitely encouraged, but no... He gave them a notebook and told them to write notes on what their marriage should look like in 75 years. 

[deborahlynn1979]

This guy is awful. Why is HIS mic sort of working?

[fundieundies]

Oh hell no I'm not here for mediocre singing - going to put Gucci Mane's "First Day Out tha Feds" on instead. I think that's more appropriate for Allison.

Edited August 15, 2020 by fundieundies
spelling

[llg1234]

Oh, the mic is finally working. No idea who this bloke is, though.

[HereticHick]

2 minutes ago, ADoyle90815 said:

Just wait until he sees that comment on the church's Facebook page.

Clearly that comment was the product of a broken home.

 

I kinda wished I had poured a glass of wine before I started this.

Edited August 15, 2020 by HereticHick

[AllisonWndrland]

Did y'all know there are only 4 glasses of wine in a bottle of Cupcake Moscato? 

This music is heinous. Why are the mics so awful? 

[Aithuia]

Just now, deborahlynn1979 said:

This guy is awful. Why is HIS mic sort of working?

Also, just how loud is he singing if we can hear him but not the others? ?

[llg1234]

Fuck it, I'm opening my bottle of wine now

[fundieundies]

If you're gonna preach the entire random stream of thoughts that enter your head you should at least give the crowd an intermission for snacks & so the newlyweds can put on chapstick for that kiss

[RachelDM]

Why were the pregnant ladies only allowed to sit down for that short amount of time?

[deborahlynn1979]

The actual pastor is like LET'S EAT.

[Aithuia]

When those fundie couples turn away from the audience to pray together, I wonder how many of them actually pray the whole time, and if there are ever couples that awkwardly look at each other wondering how long they have to stay turned around to look sufficiently holy...

Edited August 15, 2020 by Aithuia
clarity

[fundieundies]

Bold of this man to assume they're going to feed people at this wedding, even more bold to assume it'd be ribeye 

[HereticHick]

I'm guessing this is the actual Marion Avenue Baptist minister now?

[llg1234]

Just now, fundieundies said:

Bold of this man to assume they're going to feed people at this wedding, even more bold to assume it'd be ribeye 

Nah, the Bontragers actually feed people at their weddings. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Just now, HereticHick said:

I'm guessing this is the actual Marion Avenue Baptist minister now?

I think so. Marlin could never hack it as a preacher. Only a special guest on Infowars.

[deborahlynn1979]

For people who love marriages, they seem to intentionally make them as interminable and sad and angry as possible.

[HereticHick]

Just now, fundieundies said:

Bold of this man to assume they're going to feed people at this wedding, even more bold to assume it'd be ribeye 

No no the Bontragers actually believe in real wedding food. Rufus bless their Mennonite ancestry.

This pastor is 10X better than the dads.  Let the professionals do their jobs, dads.

[ADoyle90815]

This isn't Jill, so you know people will get fed whenever this wedding ceremony actually ends.

Edited August 15, 2020 by ADoyle90815