Bontragers/Bowers 5: It Is Really not Okay to Date Your Brother

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 minutes ago, Jigsaw3 said:

Ladies... you've got to wait til you've got yourself a REAL man, like Allison. Then you can conduct your relationship passive-aggressively through public posts on Instagram and your blog.

(bolding mine.)

Why is she repeating what she put on Instagram on her blog? And does she really think this is an adult way of conducting a relationship? This is not how to communicate in a functional partnership, and will lead to huge problems down the road.

And following up my post last week about how Marlin and Becky's inflexible touring schedule prevented Allison from supporting Chelsey at Axton's birth or meeting her nephew right away: looks like I was probably right. Allison has posted on her Instagram about missing Axton and being impatient to meet Elliot. I do feel bad for her on this one.

Plus she will live much further away from Chelsy when she gets married. Therefore she may see Chelsy even less. 

[Queen Of Hearts]

30 minutes ago, Jigsaw3 said:

Ladies... you've got to wait til you've got yourself a REAL man, like Allison. Then you can conduct your relationship passive-aggressively through public posts on Instagram and your blog.

(bolding mine.)

Why is she repeating what she put on Instagram on her blog? And does she really think this is an adult way of conducting a relationship? This is not how to communicate in a functional partnership, and will lead to huge problems down the road.

And following up my post last week about how Marlin and Becky's inflexible touring schedule prevented Allison from supporting Chelsey at Axton's birth or meeting her nephew right away: looks like I was probably right. Allison has posted on her Instagram about missing Axton and being impatient to meet Elliot. I do feel bad for her on this one.

I am taking her passive aggressive post to be a dig at a past beau, not her fiance.  We'll probably never know really what her intention there was.

[Giraffe]

This cracks me up! She's not even married yet and she's talking about not settling! How painfully arrogant and naive. 

[fundiefan]

We all knew how insufferable she would be. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I truly hate the terms “real man” and “real woman.” They are throw away terms. They mean nothing. There is no such thing as a real man or woman. Because if you ask each person on the planet the definition of a real man or woman is, you’ll get a billion different answers. I’m guessing Allison’s definition is particularly ridiculous since her brothers lead a manly man camp every year. Filled with push ups and grunting. 

Edited June 24, 2020 by JermajestyDuggar

[HereticHick]

Sitting here in my home office wondering if my old jeans/tshirt/slippers combo is  "considerate of others."  : )

[browngrl]

12 hours ago, Jigsaw3 said:

Marlin and Becky's inflexible touring schedule prevented Allison from supporting Chelsey at Axton's birth or meeting her nephew right away

I was thinking about this too. Fundies are all "family, family, family" but when one of theirs ie Chelsy could probably have used a hand from Alison - the family was busy touring. I'll bet both Alison and Chelsy would have liked to be together for a week or two after the birth of each of the children.

My family is far from fundie and we all like to go about doing our own thing, but when my sister had children my mother came to stay with her for the first 2 weeks to help her out. I had to work and I'm not so much for looking after children but I went over on the weekend and shopped, cleaned and cooked and stored a freezer full of ready to heat up meals  for my sister's family. The Bonts just dropped in for a quick visit. Just goes to show that when push comes to shove it is better to have a feminist in your corner than a fundie.

[petrushka]

Once Allison is married, only five Bontrager offspring will be left to tour. How much longer will the show go on?  What if one or more of the remaining  sons decides to quit to pursue work, the way Carson did?  Daughters don't have much to say about staying or leaving, but sons apparently do.  

10 hours ago, Giraffe said:

This cracks me up! She's not even married yet and she's talking about not settling! How painfully arrogant and naive. 

Me too! I have a sneaking feeling that settling is exactly what she did once Mr. High Profile Fundie didn't materialize.  Not to disparage Mr. Helferich, I hope he's kind and decent to her, but I definitely got fundie princess vibes from Allison and expected she would end up with someone from a VF type family.

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, petrushka said:

Once Allison is married, only five Bontrager offspring will be left to tour. How much longer will the show go on?  What if one or more of the remaining  sons decides to quit to pursue work, the way Carson did?  Daughters don't have much to say about staying or leaving, but sons apparently do.  

Me too! I have a sneaking feeling that settling is exactly what she did once Mr. High Profile Fundie didn't materialize.  Not to disparage Mr. Helferich, I hope he's kind and decent to her, but I definitely got fundie princess vibes from Allison and expected she would end up with someone from a VF type family.

Don’t worry, they always have Joe to tour with them! If he ends up marrying Liz in a few years, I’ll be squicked out. Because they started living together on the bus when she was about 13. But if they do marry, you can bet they will keep touring up until the day she gives birth to her first blessing. Rebs and Hudson have had to really work on their music these past few years so they can take over for the siblings lost to marriage. 

[HereticHick]

I sometimes wonder if the Bontrager's attitude to visiting/helping out with their new grandbabies is partly driven by the Quiverfull desire to "normalize" endless pregnancies as much as possible: A married woman's job is to be pregnancy or nursing nonstop for 20+ years, so its no big deal to have babies or to be pregnant. 

 

I also feel that Allison was hoping for a guy a little more glamorous--maybe an aspiring politician like her brothers--who likes to dress up and go to hipster coffee shops.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I think the Bontrager parents are “family family family” when it comes to quantity, not quality. 

[Lgirlrocks]

I thought clothes pleasing to the eye could cause men to stumble? 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, Lgirlrocks said:

I thought clothes pleasing to the eye could cause men to stumble? 

Lauran sounds like a Hunbot. Blech.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

8 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

I thought clothes pleasing to the eye could cause men to stumble? 

Ikr?  How on earth do these people function.  If I had to run every decision of my day including getting dressed through a filter where my eternal soul depended on my making the right call I'd be a basket case.

[Melissa1977]

9 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

thought clothes pleasing to the eye could cause men to stumble?

I think Lauran in a troll and is giving Alison her own medecine.

Or she is very rude.

Or both.

[wendy-sparkles]

Yeah I definitely thought Lauran was a particularly unpleasant troll when I read that. She's kind of a dick either way

[Giraffe]

12 hours ago, petrushka said:

Me too! I have a sneaking feeling that settling is exactly what she did once Mr. High Profile Fundie didn't materialize.  Not to disparage Mr. Helferich, I hope he's kind and decent to her, but I definitely got fundie princess vibes from Allison and expected she would end up with someone from a VF type family.

YES! She’s sounds like she’s trying to convince herself more than her readers. 

[ophelia]

12 hours ago, petrushka said:

Not to disparage Mr. Helferich, I hope he's kind and decent to her, but I definitely got fundie princess vibes from Allison and expected she would end up with someone from a VF type family.

 

10 hours ago, HereticHick said:

I also feel that Allison was hoping for a guy a little more glamorous--maybe an aspiring politician like her brothers--who likes to dress up and go to hipster coffee shops.

I have a feeling that there was more glamorous guy in her past and that this courtship didn't work out. Alle her "don't settle" posts might be passive-aggressive ways to deal with that.. 

[HereticHick]

16 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Ikr?  How on earth do these people function.  If I had to run every decision of my day including getting dressed through a filter where my eternal soul depended on my making the right call I'd be a basket case.

Honestly!  Meek (BUT classy and stylish), Approachable (but not too approachable or you are a brazen hussy who is asking for it) Appealing (but NOT TOO Appealing or you are not being meek).  Bless your knowitall little fundy maiden heart, Lauran with an A.

PS Lauran I find your misspelled name a distraction. Please change it, honey.

[Aithuia]

Aaaaaaaaand Bryn is pregnant. Due in December. That's eight grandchildren in what, 2.5 years?

http://bontragersingers.blogspot.com/2020/06/another-baby-on-way.html

[JermajestyDuggar]

28 minutes ago, Aithuia said:

Aaaaaaaaand Bryn is pregnant. Due in December. That's eight grandchildren in what, 2.5 years?

http://bontragersingers.blogspot.com/2020/06/another-baby-on-way.html

It’s pretty expected though. 3 couples got married in Sept 2017 and 1 couple in December 2017. The majority of quiverful fundies get pregnant in the first 6 months of marriage and most have their first 2 children 2 years or less apart. Fundies are predictable for the most part.

The 3rd child for each couple will be the wild card in my opinion. 2 young children are a lot of work because you have no older siblings to help. So there is usually a bit of a bigger gap between 2 and 3 than 1 and 2.

[petrushka]

Wow! I decided to look up the spacing of Becky Bontrager's brood.  Most of her 10 children were born  2 years or less apart.  Only once did the spacing exceed 2 1/2 years.  That's just crazy.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

8 hours ago, petrushka said:

Wow! I decided to look up the spacing of Becky Bontrager's brood.  Most of her 10 children were born  2 years or less apart.  Only once did the spacing exceed 2 1/2 years.  That's just crazy.  

But she also didn’t have any kids in her 40s. If it runs in the family, Chelsy and Allison May not hit double digits since they started later.

[HereticHick]

20 hours ago, Aithuia said:

Aaaaaaaaand Bryn is pregnant. Due in December. That's eight grandchildren in what, 2.5 years?

http://bontragersingers.blogspot.com/2020/06/another-baby-on-way.html

Bryn's 1st was born in March 2019 I think. So that's 21 months apart, right? Bryn will be 26 soon if she isn't already.

[Bethella]

3 hours ago, HereticHick said:

Bryn's 1st was born in March 2019 I think. So that's 21 months apart, right? Bryn will be 26 soon if she isn't already.

Yes, March 12, 2019. I don’t know her birthday but she should turn 26 this year.