M is for Mama 6: M is for Mama 6: Temper Tantrum over Twins Twice

[SassyPants]

Abbie has spoken about her childhood many times. She has mentioned playing team sports and going to camp. Have her oldest kids ever participated and gone way, alone, for anything of their own choosing? Abbie’s choices are limiting her kids’ experiences, and for that she is the worst! 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I think the oldest two have been allowed to do a robotics club where they compete. The boys have done some soccer. And the girls have been allowed to do a baking competition. I don’t think the children have been allowed to do anything with a major time commitment. Like travel teams. But they are allowed some activities.

[SuperNova]

If literally any other parent posted this, I probably wouldn't think twice. Since it's Abbie I can't help but wonder what she actually means by "extreme emotion". It's funny, for all the posting she does about her kids, we really don't know much about who they are as little people. I know more about the personalities of my fellow FJer's kids than I do about Abbie's. 

What do I actually know about Honor? I know he's been left alone long enough to flood the bathroom. Twice. I know he wasn't being watched by an adult and got hurt on the trampoline. I know he gets lost in the shuffle, especially after Shiloh's birth. And now I know he has extreme emotion which is probably a nice way of saying that he acts out to get attention. Poor little guy. 

Edited June 23, 2020 by SuperNova
Changed to more neutral comment

[JermajestyDuggar]

9 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

If literally any other parent posted this, I probably wouldn't think twice. Since it's Abbie I can't help but wonder what she actually means by "extreme emotion". It's funny, for all the posting she does about her kids, we really don't know much about who they are as little people. I know more about the personalities of @JermajestyDuggar's kids than Abbie's.

What do I actually know about Honor? I know he's been left alone long enough to flood the bathroom. Twice. I know he wasn't being watched by an adult and got hurt on the trampoline. I know he gets lost in the shuffle, especially after Shiloh's birth. And now I know he has extreme emotion which is probably a nice way of saying that he acts out to get attention. Poor little guy. 

You would think that by her 7th kid that age, she would remember that 3 year olds are just emotional by nature. 3 and 4 are the toughest ages in my humble opinion. It’s perfectly normal for their age and development. I agree that poor Honor gets ignored and I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what triggers his “extreme emotion” half the time. 

[SuperNova]

2 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

You would think that by her 7th kid that age, she would remember that 3 year olds are just emotional by nature. 3 and 4 are the toughest ages in my humble opinion. It’s perfectly normal for their age and development. I agree that poor Honor gets ignored and I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what triggers his “extreme emotion” half the time. 

I changed my post to a more neutral comment so I didn't single you out but you caught it before I did! All I meant to say is that whenever any of us talk about our children, we see them as individuals. Like when you talk about your boys, you're viewing them as separate from yourself and seem to parent them as such. You parent in a way that fits them instead of one size fits all. Abbie seems to have in mind what her kids should be and works toward that end with no thought of what that kid needs as an individual. So Honor is seen as a bit of a problem child rather than a kid with needs that aren't always in line with his siblings needs. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

As Honor was lost in the crowd after Shiloh's birth , imagine what will happen to the 2 of them when the twins are born.  Honor and Shiloh, The Lost Boys. Forgotten Boys?  Ignored Boys? All three?

[JermajestyDuggar]

8 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

As Honor was lost in the crowd after Shiloh's birth , imagine what will happen to the 2 of them when the twins are born.  Honor and Shiloh, The Lost Boys. Forgotten Boys?  Ignored Boys? All three?

Along with Theo. Those three boys will only have their sister moms to rely on.

[SuperNova]

Abbie has another pregnancy post up. How is she able to simultaneously be so self-absorbed and completely boring? Twins, long births, hates being pregnant, all the same list of "accomplishments". At least this time she didn't introduce herself.

Edited June 24, 2020 by SuperNova

[JermajestyDuggar]

11 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

Abbie has another pregnancy post up. How is she able to simultaneously be so self-absorbed and completely boring? Twins, long births, hates being pregnant, all the same list of "accomplishments". At least this time she didn't introduce herself.

She’s also answering questions because it’s Wednesday. Nothing new really. She says she’s ok with NFP but they won’t do anything permanent as BC. My guess is that she will have close to a 2.5 year gap after these twins are born. I bet she won’t make that NFP mistake again. 

[SassyPants]

And in today’s Q&A she talks about her decorating style which she describes, and I quote “neutral with pops of color.” She is surprised when people send her Style  links that they think she would like, and the links include contrasting patterns and colors etc. I wonder if once Abbie enters her own home she is afflicted with color blindness or just a pure lack of vision. There is nothing neutral about her style, IMO. It is loud, bold and often clashing!

2 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

She’s also answering questions because it’s Wednesday. Nothing new really. She says she’s ok with NFP but they won’t do anything permanent as BC. My guess is that she will have close to a 2.5 year gap after these twins are born. I bet she won’t make that NFP mistake again. 

You were also right about your prediction about the epidural...she is open to that as she feels she has “proven herself” with all of her other long, hard, unmedicated labors and deliveries. She loves patting herself on the back. Well done between all the complaining-

[JermajestyDuggar]

28 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

You were also right about your prediction about the epidural...she is open to that as she feels she has “proven herself” with all of her other long, hard, unmedicated labors and deliveries. She loves patting herself on the back. Well done between all the complaining-

That’s because fundie mommy martyrs are so predictable. 

[feministxtian]

22 hours ago, SuperNova said:

All I meant to say is that whenever any of us talk about our children, we see them as individuals.

I HATE when parents lump their kids together...my stepdaughters (twins) were "the girls" forever, "the girls this... the girls that..." My trio on the other hand...can't be lumped together...they have so much but so little in common. They're all just like me but different aspects of personality come to the fore with each one of them. Girlchild (age 37) is the anti-peer pressure individual. #1 boychild (age 33) is the "just so" organized, logical thinker. #2 boychild (age 29) is the "toys r us kid"...he refuses to grow up. I mean, they do have things in common like sarcasm, brains, good looks (all from mama) but they're just as different as they can be. If you can't see the differences in your children maybe you shouldn't have had them...don't lump them into some nameless, faceless group. 

But this is Abbie...she probably sees them all as interfering with her life although she's the one who birthed them. For God's sake, get your tubes tied or send hubby to get the snip. STOP creating children that you really don't want. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

1 hour ago, feministxtian said:

But this is Abbie...she probably sees them all as interfering with her life although she's the one who birthed them. For God's sake, get your tubes tied or send hubby to get the snip. STOP creating children that you really don't want. 

This x 10,000 "I agree" votes.  She absolutely sees her children as interfering with her life.  What's worse is she tells the world she does.  Her children will read those blogs one day. That's not going to be pretty.

I really really really hope she's never complained about it at home and the children overheard. You can never un-hear your mother believes you ruined her life. It's one step from hearing she wishes you'd never been born.

 

[danvillebelle]

Her speech about the colors she likes made me LOL.

Pull up her Insta page on a computer monitor, then back away a bit and squint.  All the photos look EXACTLY THE SAME.  All the colors are always the same, down to the clothing.  EVERYTHING is teal, blue-green, coral and neutrals.  All of it.  

All the kids' clothing is always in HER preferred color palette.  I think if they wanted to wear something different she wouldn't allow it because it would clash with the house.

[Giraffe]

11 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I really really really hope she's never complained about it at home and the children overheard. You can never un-hear your mother believes you ruined her life. It's one step from hearing she wishes you'd never been born.

 

No doubt she already has. As “honest” as she is about hating parenting it wouldn’t surprise me if she tells some that regularly. 

[therulesofjinx]

In her Wednesday question Insta stories, someone asked her if she would ever consider adopting....and she said Yes! I would love to adopt! She doesn't even like/parent her biological children....can you imagine how adopted children would be treated??? Especially if they have emotional or behavioral stuff going on that needs nurturing/treatment/care. I really, really hope she never adopts. Although, she could have just posted that question and answered it to make herself look good...

[JermajestyDuggar]

7 minutes ago, therulesofjinx said:

In her Wednesday question Insta stories, someone asked her if she would ever consider adopting....and she said Yes! I would love to adopt! She doesn't even like/parent her biological children....can you imagine how adopted children would be treated??? Especially if they have emotional or behavioral stuff going on that needs nurturing/treatment/care. I really, really hope she never adopts. Although, she could have just posted that question and answered it to make herself look good...

That’s what I’m thinking. She wants to look so benevolent and self sacrificing. But I don’t think she will ever adopt. 

[anachronistic]

I hate it when people say that their kids are so alike, because even the closest of siblings inevitably have very different interests, strengths, and morals. When they’re tiny, sure, because every 2 year old wants to be like their 4 year old sibling. But by 9 or 10 you can usually tell that siblings are headed on different paths. My siblings and I are less than 4 years apart and I’ve thought long and hard about it, and the only things that we have in common are things like we all like to read, we all like the taste of milk, we all like chocolate .cake - really bland, banal stuff that could apply to almost anyone. In terms of morals, philosophies, beliefs, education, political involvement, why we live the way we live, we couldn’t be more different. It’s sort of the opposite of what fundies allow. Their kids can like or dislike foods, or have different favorite Bible verses, but their morals must align with their parents, their livelihoods better be on the parental approval list, or else.

 

The saddest thing is when you see a kid who clearly does have a zest for life and over time the parents beat it out of them and replace it with despair and dullness, like the poor Anderson kids. 

[SuperNova]

8 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

All the kids' clothing is always in HER preferred color palette.  I think if they wanted to wear something different she wouldn't allow it because it would clash with the house.

We've never seen any of the children in a licensed tee of any sort. No fun characters that appeal to them, only Abbie approved clothing.

I used to love seeing what Baby Nova would come up with when getting herself dressed. Sometimes it would be a raincoat and pajama pants with one flip flop, one wellington, and a plastic cookie monster purse. Who cares? We can roll to the store like that. A rainbow tu-tu and grampa's old shirt with a duck on it? Great! Let's go. That time in kid's lives where anything goes and everything is possible is so short lived. Why not let them express themselves and be happy? There's nothing to be embarrassed about. No one is going to think you're a bad parent for letting your kid dress themselves. And if they do, fuck 'em.

[Peaches-n-Beans]

OKay so finally caught up here. 

The one thing I will never understand with fundies and blanket training is, if you really want the kid to be contained in one space for any reason, why not use a play pen with a few toys in it. It's like, the only time any of these people put work in to parent their kids is when "parenting" translates to "smacking". 

[BlessingsVonFundiePants]

@Peaches-n-Beans  the devil wants them to use play pens ?‍♀️

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 hours ago, Peaches-n-Beans said:

OKay so finally caught up here. 

The one thing I will never understand with fundies and blanket training is, if you really want the kid to be contained in one space for any reason, why not use a play pen with a few toys in it. It's like, the only time any of these people put work in to parent their kids is when "parenting" translates to "smacking". 

There is a big difference between a play pen and blanket training. It’s teaching babies from the start that you do what mommy/daddy says no matter what. Fundies are psychotic about immediate obedience. If you put them in a play pen, you aren’t teaching them to submit to you no matter what. You have to break them early to make them all the same. 

[SassyPants]

I used the playpen to keep them safely contained and entertained.

Fundies use the blanket to teach them compliance and to break their spirits.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Oh god Braggie just posted a gross story about her 3 year old’s potty accident at a playground. That poor kid will be embarrassed when he’s older. She has a lot of followers and she has a public Instagram. Tons of strangers now know this embarrassing story. I wish she would give her kids more privacy.

Edited June 26, 2020 by JermajestyDuggar

[TuringMachine]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Oh god Braggie just posted a gross story about her 3 year old’s potty accident at a playground. That poor kid will be embarrassed when he’s older. She has a lot of followers and she has a public Instagram. Tons of strangers now know this embarrassing story. I wish she would give her kids more privacy.

Also she makes a snarky comment about how the bathrooms are closed because of corona but the playground is fine. No Braggie, the playground is not fine. Your state is currently gaining new cases at an alarming rate. You have a huge property, there's no reason you should be bringing your children to a public park.