M is for Mama 6: M is for Mama 6: Temper Tantrum over Twins Twice

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

BrotherDad Ezra will become a full time single parent to twins at 15 (16?)

[luv2laugh]

I think Braggie relies too much on Ezra. It’s almost weird. It’s as if Ezra has taken on all of the husband fatherly duties... Ezra is not her husband and he is not the father. 

 

We don’t know much about Shaun’s involvement with the kids but he seems checked out. 

[princessmahina]

She’s infuriating, but if she has PPD, I hope she gets real help for it. I had it myself last year and couldn’t even function. It’s no laughing matter and not something to take lightly. 

[mhainlen]

37 minutes ago, princessmahina said:

She’s infuriating, but if she has PPD, I hope she gets real help for it. I had it myself last year and couldn’t even function. It’s no laughing matter and not something to take lightly. 

Do we know if she sought counseling or took an SSRI for her postpartum depression last time? With her history of refusing any help or interventions for her trich it makes me nervous that she’d do the same for PPD.

[SassyPants]

Her mom can be there now, right? In betting she came right over to clean up or will do so tomorrow . She’s just not use to doing scut work. Too bad, so sad. Shaun’s arse needs to take off the “I make cute babies “ shirt and start helping out. Here’s a thought, Shaun and Abbie can make cleaning the house a weekly activity, like date night!

[JermajestyDuggar]

I would bet good money Braggie never took an antidepressant or anti anxiety medication for any previous PPD/PPA since she won’t do a damn think about her trich besides complain and pray.

[mysweetetc]

Twins are so, so hard in the first year. I had mine first (and second, lol) - I can't imagine having them 9th and 10th. I can't remember where I heard or read the nugget that having baby twins is like being out at sea in a sinking lifeboat - you can't think of anything else besides bailing out water. My boys were 31-week preemies, but otherwise healthy and normal. We did a month in the NICU, and then they wore monitors for a few months. I got very lucky in that, by the time they came home, they were on a strict feed/sleep schedule thanks to the gorgeous, angelic nurses, and so they cried very little and our sleep interruptions were anticipated and able to be shared predictably.

There is no way - NO WAY, N O  W A Y - that Braggie is going to handle the work of twins (again!) at her age, with her level of patience and humility (zip), and lack of willingness to let nonessential stuff like a perfect house and Insta-ready siblings go.

Do you guys think she will have Ezra and Simon actually help with nighttime duties? I assume she will tandem nurse, but what about diapers? Random outbursts? You know Shawn can't be bothered. And I don't know the consensus here, but I can only imagine what will happen to Abbie on 3-5 hours of sleep, no "Body Pump," being a nonstop milk factory, and having all those other littles underfoot. I know we joke about her being crazy, but I legitimately see warning signs for literal child abuse, neglect, and post-partum psychosis.

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 minutes ago, mysweetetc said:

Twins are so, so hard in the first year. I had mine first (and second, lol) - I can't imagine having them 9th and 10th. I can't remember where I heard or read the nugget that having baby twins is like being out at sea in a sinking lifeboat - you can't think of anything else besides bailing out water. My boys were 31-week preemies, but otherwise healthy and normal. We did a month in the NICU, and then they wore monitors for a few months. I got very lucky in that, by the time they came home, they were on a strict feed/sleep schedule thanks to the gorgeous, angelic nurses, and so they cried very little and our sleep interruptions were anticipated and able to be shared predictably.

There is no way - NO WAY, N O  W A Y - that Braggie is going to handle the work of twins (again!) at her age, with her level of patience and humility (zip), and lack of willingness to let nonessential stuff like a perfect house and Insta-ready siblings go.

Do you guys think she will have Ezra and Simon actually help with nighttime duties? I assume she will tandem nurse, but what about diapers? Random outbursts? You know Shawn can't be bothered. And I don't know the consensus here, but I can only imagine what will happen to Abbie on 3-5 hours of sleep, no "Body Pump," being a nonstop milk factory, and having all those other littles underfoot. I know we joke about her being crazy, but I legitimately see warning signs for literal child abuse, neglect, and post-partum psychosis.

I’m thinking a lot of the “middles” will be sent off to grandma’s house quite often. Meaning #3, 4, 5, 6, 7, And 8 at grandma’s while 1 and 2 stay home to help with 9 and 10.

[So-Virgin-It-Hurts]

4 minutes ago, mysweetetc said:

Twins are so, so hard in the first year. I had mine first (and second, lol) - I can't imagine having them 9th and 10th. I can't remember where I heard or read the nugget that having baby twins is like being out at sea in a sinking lifeboat - you can't think of anything else besides bailing out water. My boys were 31-week preemies, but otherwise healthy and normal. We did a month in the NICU, and then they wore monitors for a few months. I got very lucky in that, by the time they came home, they were on a strict feed/sleep schedule thanks to the gorgeous, angelic nurses, and so they cried very little and our sleep interruptions were anticipated and able to be shared predictably.

There is no way - NO WAY, N O  W A Y - that Braggie is going to handle the work of twins (again!) at her age, with her level of patience and humility (zip), and lack of willingness to let nonessential stuff like a perfect house and Insta-ready siblings go.

Do you guys think she will have Ezra and Simon actually help with nighttime duties? I assume she will tandem nurse, but what about diapers? Random outbursts? You know Shawn can't be bothered. And I don't know the consensus here, but I can only imagine what will happen to Abbie on 3-5 hours of sleep, no "Body Pump," being a nonstop milk factory, and having all those other littles underfoot. I know we joke about her being crazy, but I legitimately see warning signs for literal child abuse, neglect, and post-partum psychosis.

I agree, it's going to be bad and the kids will be the victims of her poor judgement and ineffectual (or lack of) parenting. I think her emotional bonds with her children are incredibly thin.

[freejugar]

So she's lost her shit over leftover eggs in the dishwasher, fingerprints, that one time her kid made a pile of toys in their room.

She has a very short fuse!

 

[SuperNova]

Oh boy. Apparently yesterday's meltdown was for Shaun's ears only. Well...Shaun and the entire internet where its possible for the children to find their mother talking shit about them to the world. Anyhoo, some of the kids overheard Abbie saying those nasty things about them and she had to apologize. Again. What I'm not understanding is why didn't Shaun stop her if he knew the kids were listening? Why did he wait til they left for Gramma's house? Abbie has everyone in that house living in fear.

 

 

[Shiny]

Every time I post I start with "I can't relate to this". But I really can't. I don't think I've ever said anything about my kids that I wouldn't feel comfortable saying to their faces. I have had private conversations with my husband about them, but they wouldn't have been hurt or offended had they overheard.

I wish Braggie would just take a beat and enjoy the kids more.

[freejugar]

Children's work ethic?!

Children should not work.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

57 minutes ago, Shiny said:

I wish Braggie would just take a beat and enjoy the kids more.

She told us more than once she's not maternal at all, never wanted to be a mother, and doesn't like children.

There is no way she'll ever enjoy what she never wanted and doesn't like.

[The butcher's wife]

36 minutes ago, freejugar said:

Children's work ethic?!

Children should not work.

Children should develop a work ethic, so they can function as adults in our society. Parents should not expect that in young children. Very interesting, Braggie, to demand a quality of your children that you clearly do not possess yourself. I have an idea for you: you can show your children your own fantastic work ethic, and hope that they will live by your shining example... once they are grown-ups. Do your f*ing job raising the ones you have, and quit the breeding!

[MomKB]

She needs to Stop. Having. Kids.

[Walking Cat Bed]

27 minutes ago, The butcher's wife said:

Children should develop a work ethic, so they can function as adults in our society. Parents should not expect that in young children. Very interesting, Braggie, to demand a quality of your children that you clearly do not possess yourself. I have an idea for you: you can show your children your own fantastic work ethic, and hope that they will live by your shining example... once they are grown-ups. Do your f*ing job raising the ones you have, and quit the breeding!

Children's work ethic should be developed in and reflected by schoolwork and hobbies -- if Ezra was passionate about science or hockey, he could develop a strong foundational work ethic that would serve his future. Teenagers can add a part time job -- to earn money for savings or small purchases. 

Children (and teenagers) shouldn't be expected to raise their siblings or financially support their families. Babysitting on occasion or paying their part of the car insurance/cell phone plan are a way to learn responsibility, but with the exception of extreme circumstances, kids aren't and shouldn't be responsible for adult behaviors or financial burdens.

(Says the childfree curmudgeon -- I'd like to think I wouldn't blatantly spew my dissatisfaction with being a parent around the entire internet, but I've been careful to not procreate offspring that I'd resent.)

[Seahorse Wrangler]

4 hours ago, Walking Cat Bed said:

Children's work ethic should be developed in and reflected by schoolwork and hobbies -- if Ezra was passionate about science or hockey, he could develop a strong foundational work ethic that would serve his future. Teenagers can add a part time job -- to earn money for savings or small purchases. 

 

A couple of years ago SeaFilly 2 decided she wanted a laptop. She looked into the specs she wanted and decided to earn the money by working. She was spending part of the summer with SeaColt at their aunt and uncle's house.  SF2 did weeding, child-minding, washed cars and generally helped out some of people my SIL knew.

 

When she returned home, she realised he had neglected to take into account the taxes. SO I offered to pay the remainder. She refused but countered by offering to to do MY gardening for minimum wage. I accepted. She got up at 4am to ensure she wasn't working during the heat of the day.

 

She is still so proud of her laptop even though she was working pre-Covid and could easily afford to replace it.

 

[Ozlsn]

6 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

She told us more than once she's not maternal at all, never wanted to be a mother, and doesn't like children.

There is no way she'll ever enjoy what she never wanted and doesn't like.

So why the eff does she keep getting pregnant?!?! This is what annoys me the most about her - if you don't want to be a mother then don't have kids. She's not living In a time and place without options to prevent conception. If she's so totally against "artificial" birth control she could keep her legs crossed until she's post-menopausal. None of her kids asked to be brought into this.

Given that she is a mother she could try stepping up to the plate and looking at what is best for her kids - which in this case I think would be the kids going to school, having some time and space away from the family, and Abbie getting some therapy to help her resolve her issues around motherhood (and bloody everything else) - and then maybe starting up a design business and focusing her energy into that. After these next two are old enough to go to kindergarten. 

Get down off your damn cross Abbie, not only do we need the wood but your kids get nailed up there with you, and they do not deserve that.

[kesmom]

12 hours ago, freejugar said:

So she's lost her shit over leftover eggs in the dishwasher, fingerprints, that one time her kid made a pile of toys in their room.

She has a very short fuse!

 

Don’t forget piano lessons! And the twins were only like 6 or so when that happened - very young. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Yep. Braggie could rely on PAID help with her children. Instead of heavily relying on Ezra and her mother. And when I say paid help I mean hiring a piano teacher, sending the children to a private Christian school, hiring a nanny to come help out during the week, or hiring a person to clean once a month. That way she wouldn’t force the people around her into unpaid labor. She keeps having kids because she knows Ezra and her mother can’t say no. She knows they will help her. If she lost all her unpaid help, she would stop having babies tomorrow. And the crazy thing is that she can afford to pay for help! She just doesn’t want to. Because she wants to buy giant green sofas and rugs stacked on top of each other. 

Edited June 1, 2020 by JermajestyDuggar

[anachronistic]

I think that Della is now 9 or 10 and will be forced into the sister-mom role pretty heavily with the new twins. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, anachronistic said:

I think that Della is now 9 or 10 and will be forced into the sister-mom role pretty heavily with the new twins. 

I think she will be forced into being a sister mom the Shiloh and Honor. I doubt Braggie will trust her with real care of the twins. That goes to Ezra and Simon. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Let"s do the math shall we. I love word problems**

Braggie will have 10 children. Della, Ezra and Simon will parent Shiloh, Honor and the new twins at the very least = 7 people. That just leaves 3 children for Braggie to of-load on her mother.

So 10 children minus 7 children minus 3 children =

Voila!

Braggie doesn't have to parent any of her children and can spend her days bargain hunting for even more Anthro.

By extension Shaun doesn't have to parent either. Not that we think he does now.

**This home school math lesson brought to you by  RH,BD SOTDRT where WFH is  happening.

[Melissa1977]

I understand Braggie.

I really understand her.

I understand Zsu. And Michelle. All of them.

That's why I use birth control. I would become mean or.mad or both if I had 10 kids and counting. But despite understanding, I will never ever condone their quiverful way of life and the child abuse.