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Bro Gary Hawkins 13: What's the other one, Becky?


samurai_sarah

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Or Hell’s Angels heading out on their bikes.

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How about angels rolling down a hill, ending at the bottom in a laughing pile of grass and feathers?

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I'm waiting for Gary to say "We've got the devil in a Bulgarian headlock and we're gonna put his head through the soda pop machine in the sky.  Oh, yeah!"

Thank you Hugh Wilson WKRP creator for giving us such lasting comedy gold.

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This morning, we get to see what Gary is looking at when he sits against the Shrine Wall of the Mama Dog:
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Then he fixes the camera. Blue and white plaid shirt today. I love plaid, and am always happy when it comes back into style. It also has sentimental connections for me, to a beloved professor and friend who is no longer with us. Gary is determined to ruin it for me, but I won't let him. Plaid is fun and cheerful and logical, Gary, and you don't deserve it (well, maybe that yellow and purple/brown one).

He reminds us of his sermon last night - let the redeemed of the Lord say something.  He launches into full preacher mode, rattling off predictable stuff. Some highlights:

On the old rugged cross, it's not the nails that kept Jesus up there, "what kep' 'im up 'ere, is that He said he loved you."

"It's not time to hang in the towel, it's not time to put down the towel, it's not time to hang up the towel." Three tries, and he still never got to "throw in the towel," which is the actual expression. Ah, well - Gary is not a sports fan.

In the middle of a repetitive list of ways Jesus washed him, Gary makes a noise like nothing I've ever heard from him (it starts at about 5:10, if anyone wants to check it out). He growls like an engine revving, then says "mmmm, man, I'm ready to preach now."

He gets this comment from Daniel who wants money to go to non-imaginary Uganda: "Gets on you after a while of not preaching. I started in the car yesterday. Lol." Gary says you'll find a place to preach, if you're a "God-called" preacher.

I think it's like a physical need for these guys, as if they get hooked on the sensation of yelling and cooing and repetition. I get it, in a way - I am the same way about singing. But I don't claim that my singing is saving anyone's soul, or that I'm God-called to do it. Dudes, just preach to the clouds and leave the rest of us out of it.

He yells out a list of things "God has give us," which includes food on the table, food in the 'frigerator, food in the freezer, clothes (twice), underclothes, a shower, sunshine, the Word.

Gary went to the grocery store yesterday, and he's going again today. Gary, even during non-pandemic times, I manage to make a list and buy a week's worth of food, rather than going daily. You eat fast food on the road, and use whatever fridge you are grifting when you stay put - why do you need to go so often?

Sudhakar Addanki comments. Gary greets him, and says  "Some these people get names and I can't pronounce 'em, honey, if that ain't (chuckles). I thank God that God gave my mama good common sense that day when she named me, amen. I ain't knockin' nobody's name, but I like 'Gary.'"

Yes, you are knocking other people's names, Gary, you dick. Not to mention, your first name is William - you go by your middle name.

He gets into the end of the world, no arthuritis in heaven riff.

Teachers get to put their books down soon, but Becky has to homeschool all year, because Jacob's schoolin' gets interrupted by meetings.

"We need to be more fearful of God than we are of this gov'ment mess, Amen."

 

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I question the judicial system in whatever state his child custody hearing took place if Gary was deemed the custodial parent over his -ex.

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51 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

"Some these people get names and I can't pronounce 'em, honey, if that ain't (chuckles). I thank God that God gave my mama good common sense that day when she named me, amen. I ain't knockin' nobody's name, but I like 'Gary.'"

That's just downright rude but not surprising being from Gary. And I've still been trying to figure out more about his criminal past by searching for his full name. 

I still don't get what he was trying to say in the picture of Jacob and the news clothes. Anyone care to help me out? LOL

Every time I log on here, I'm excited to see one of @thoughtful's delightful recaps. I'm excited that we have been given the gift of this person who I still sometimes can't believe is real, but I'm also horrified as I see what he writes and preaches and just how judgmental and harmful of a person he really is. I'm so glad Caleb got away from them and hope Jacob is doing OK. I worry for him. At least I'm glad to hear Becky is homeschooling him. With Gary he wouldn't have a chance (I'm looking at you Jill!).

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25 minutes ago, PumaLover said:

I still don't get what he was trying to say in the picture of Jacob and the news clothes. Anyone care to help me out? LOL

He did eventually get it right, after several tries - "styling and profiling." It's the catchphrase of this guy: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ric_Flair

So Gary may not watch boxing (hence not knowing "throw in the towel") but he must have been a wrestling fan at some point.

25 minutes ago, PumaLover said:

I'm excited that we have been given the gift of this person who I still sometimes can't believe is real, but I'm also horrified as I see what he writes and preaches and just how judgmental and harmful of a person he really is.

He doesn't seem to have any low that he won't go to, much like Jill, which is fascinating. He is in that "this has to be performance art, right? This can't be real" category for me. But, I'm sad to say, he seems absolutely sincere in all of his bigotry and idiocy.

He's probably sincere in his beliefs, as well, he just also wants the money.

25 minutes ago, PumaLover said:

At least I'm glad to hear Becky is homeschooling him.

And we've seen her at it in a lot of Gary's videos, so I think it's pretty close to being a daily ritual. Gary may not let it get in the way of meetings and church, but he said he was expected to wait for them to finish before going to the laundromat, so Becky may be firm with Gary about a schedule or amount that has to get done.

I also once heard her say "I don't know what that word is," and, I think, tell Jacob to look it up. I hope that means that she is generally willing to admit her limits, and teach him to reach out to other sources.

I can't imagine he's getting a stellar education.  :sad: But of course I agree that it's nothing like the tragedy it would be if he was stuck with just Gary.

 

Edited by thoughtful
edited to correct mah punctuatin'
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The post about Jacob "stabbing" has been corrected. Someone must have alerted him. HAYMANNNN

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22 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

He did eventually get it right, after several tries - "styling and profiling." It's the catchphrase of this guy: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ric_Flair

So Gary may not watch boxing (hence not knowing "throw in the towel") but he must have been a wrestling fan at some point.

Gary has GOT to be a pro wrestling fan. He just has to be. Maybe he doesn't watch much anymore, since there are more women on there, but I'd be willing to bet that at some point in the past he was a big fan. That's not only based on "Stylin' and Profilin'" (WOOOO!) but in the way he preaches - a lot of the older style wrestling guys did their promos in a similar way to the fire-and-brimstone preachers. Flair says "WOO!" rather than "Haymen!" though.

(Also, Ric Flair lives in North Carolina, so there might be some local pride there.)

(Also, also,  I haven't watched wrestling in years, LOL!)

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In the early '80s when pro wrestling was more regional we went every Monday to Mid-South 'Rassin' at the St. Bernard Cultural Center.  Except we called it the culchural centa.  I know I saw Ric Flair several times, as well as some of the other big names.  We knew it was fake, but we didn't care.  It did get real when Jim Garvin actually hurt Paul Orndorff and put him out of commission.  It "wasn't in the script" as Paul put it.  Gary would fit right in with the old wrestling crowd. (Pre-WWE and the McMahon empire.)

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Becky's been busy on Facebook, too. She reposted this (Gary chimes in on the comments when she gets some polite disagreement):

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More from Becky (I figure this was also something she found and re-posted, but there's no attribution, so who knows):

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Spoiler

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https://www.carolinajournal.com/news-article/hundreds-of-north-carolina-churches-might-sue-gov-roy-cooper/?fbclid=IwAR3-XZIHPbK5tujcwTuDyYWyRDLa9-i3i9j_4pqeFAlgaXMo-GRIOK7hmdo

Quote

About 400 North Carolina churches could join a lawsuit challenging Gov. Roy Cooper’s statewide stay-at-home order.

Cooper, who in late March ordered North Carolinians to stay home and all non-essential businesses to close, violated the constitutions of the state and federal governments by limiting religious gatherings, said Rep. Keith Kidwell, R-Beaufort, who’s organizing the lawsuit. He’s working with three lawyers and two constitutional law centers to file the lawsuit in state and federal court. About 30 state representatives said they would support it.

The lawsuit will likely be filed mid-week, the NC Insider reported Tuesday, May 5.

Kidwell wants religious protections enshrined in a new law. Saturday, he filed House Bill 1059,  which would allow churches to continue meeting during a state of emergency and allocate money for things such as masks and hand sanitizer. Co-sponsors include Rep. Jason Saine, R-Lincoln; Rep. Mitchell Setzer, R-Catawba; and Rep. Kyle Hall, R-Stokes.

 

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7 hours ago, thoughtful said:

On the old rugged cross, it's not the nails that kept Jesus up there, "what kep' 'im up 'ere, is that He said he loved you."

Naw, I'm gonna guess it was the nails

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2 hours ago, thoughtful said:

I am at the point where I just want to say “fuck it” and let them go to church.  But with the understanding that they are not allowed to seek medical care when they contract COVID-19.  They are on their own and can take care of each other.  I highly doubt any of these hypocrites would give one fuck if it was a mosque or temple being temporarily closed.  They would probably cheer and say “obey the law”.  

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43 minutes ago, keepercjr said:

I am at the point where I just want to say “fuck it” and let them go to church.  But with the understanding that they are not allowed to seek medical care when they contract COVID-19.  They are on their own and can take care of each other.

I am trying not to think that way, but it sure tries my patience. I made this meme weeks ago, as a joke, but I keep thinking  of it:

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1 hour ago, keepercjr said:

I am at the point where I just want to say “fuck it” and let them go to church.  But with the understanding that they are not allowed to seek medical care when they contract COVID-19.  They are on their own and can take care of each other.  I highly doubt any of these hypocrites would give one fuck if it was a mosque or temple being temporarily closed.  They would probably cheer and say “obey the law”.  

If there was a way to guarantee that they wouldn't spread Covid even further (go to church, mingle, go to Walmart without a mask, spread germs, employee is exposed to germs, employee takes germs home, employee's child/grandparent/roommate becomes very sick), I'd be okay with this. But fuckwits like Gary don't think that far outside of their immediate wants. 

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4 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Becky's been busy on Facebook, too. She reposted this (Gary chimes in on the comments when she gets some polite disagreement):

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More from Becky (I figure this was also something she found and re-posted, but there's no attribution, so who knows):

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Oh Rebecca honey, the temperature required to kill the virus is 80C..if your body is at that temp you have bigger problems than the Rona.

I suspect 80Kelvin may also kill the virus but I wouldn't want to risk that either.

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Apart from the very dodgy premise that God will protect you from this virus - when He clearly hasn’t done for many- I take issue with the facts in her posts.

I watched a lecture about the virus by an eminent professor- a practising doctor and an expert in public health.

The morbidity rate for this virus is worse than previous modern flu- the 1% she quotes is an average- it increases very rapidly for 50+ and if you factor in other issues such as obesity and sex ( men are worse affected) it’s even more dangerous. If an infected person coughs or sneezes and transfers droplets on to a surface, you touch that surface and then touch your face the virus can get in through your mouth nose or eyes. They are not sure how long the virus survives on a surface.

For Gary and Rebecca this isn’t a biblical or an ideological issue- it’s a selfish desire to continue their lazy lifestyle subsidised by others. They don’t care about the weak and vulnerable- happy to lock them away for ever as long as they can do what they want. 

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What I wouldn't give to just talk to her, ask her a few gentle questions. Becky didn't have custody of her own children. Caleb moved as soon as he could. The constant travel to put up a tent in the hot sun. The car/RV/truck problems. Eating fast food all the time. Trying to teach Jacob with a few free minutes.

Why? Why live a hand to mouth existence when you don't have to do so? Why base your life on other people's pity?

 

Certain fundies make me crazy, like Becky either her nursing background. Surely a job (with benefits!) would have to be better than singing for Gary's supper. Or saving up to join a new MLM that goes to nothing but inventory (paparazzi, toothpaste, now Tupperware).

Get a job, Becky. Earn back your kids' trust. Show them you can make a good decision! Show Jacob what adulting really is, and the pride that comes from earning a paycheck.

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Gary got a Facebook greeting from a friend:

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Let's see - Confederate flag, needed to make a new Facebook account, can't spell, has to mention Jesus  - sounds like Gary's kind of people.

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Gary was live this morning - still at Promise Baptist.

After some tooth sucking and very phlegmy throat-clearing, he says he hopes everybody had a good start to their day of "workin' a job, cleanin' the house, workin' in the yard, travelin', makin' arrangements for whatever . . . situations in life . . .but, um . . . it's another beautiful day the Lord has give Amen!"

Gary, you have some nerve listing activities you never do. You take money from people who "work a job," you watch Becky and Jacob clean, and you don't have a home, so you don't have a yard.

He takes a break from his hard work of sitting and talking to rub at his eyes and face for a while:

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I hope that, and the chest congestion, are just from seasonal allergies, Bro.

Next is the weather report. I'll spare you. He watches for people to sign on, and mumbles about that, and more weather predictions. But the Lord sends the weather, and we should "rejoice in the Lord, over . . . whatever."

Lord willin', he's going to some churches in Alabama and Florida.

Daniel Bryant signs on, and Gary says he's praying for him in his deputation, so he'll get money to go to "Africa - Uganda, Africa! Amen!"

Daniel comments "Just been watching all this Corona mess. I'm ready to fight, preach or die."

That gets Gary onto the subject of Governor Cooper. Thanks, Dan. ? After some non-sentences, Gary says "he is really, really, really fightin' the churches." He gets into his vague conspiracy theory riff, and "if you're willin' to give your religious rahts up, just give your guns up, too." "Go live a little socialism life."

Daniel comments "People think that mindset is extreme. But that's truth."

Gary says Cooper is just like Pharaoh, not letting the people go even though Moses says that God sent him.

Daniel comments "Wickedness."

Walmart rant again. He now says the employee and the sign said that over 1000 people were allowed in. Liar - you told us it was 951 last time.

He went to Lowes yesterday (I'm beginning to think that Gary's real God is shopping), and you can go right in. "Thank God Lowes ain't as stupid as Walmarts, makin' ya hafta walk 300 miles around to get into somethin'."

"People wanna set back an' let their freedom rights go."

He gets more excited as he repeats that we have to fight for our religious rights. It's making me glad that Gary is so very lazy, or he'd probably be running around brandishing a gun.

He says some people claim nobody is threatening our religious rights, and then says one of the few things he's ever said that I can agree with: "If it ain't against our religious rights, then I'm gonna tell you right now, I'm a I'm a stupid idiot. And I won't have a problem sayin' that."

Got it, Gary.

Back to Pharaoh and God hardening his heart. "That's exactly what's going on in America." So Gary, if God is hardening Cooper's heart, isn't it God's will?

He thanks God that "his church" hasn't closed its doors. Be careful, Pastor Bray - Gary may be wanting to make your church basement and the Shrine of the Mama Dog his headquarters - he may be back, like a swarm of locusts, after every trip.

After more of his "if it's not the building, get rid of the building" and other crap you've heard before, he says "You say I sound pretty mean - crude. No (and then he give us an incredibly juicy snort - eh, I'd call that crude, Gar), I'm just tired of some people settin' back and not carin' whether our rights are taken away from us or not."

He gets into how many people can be in Lowes and Walmart again. Gary doesn't seem to have any sense of how large those buildings are. He says he "talked to a lady yesterday at Walmarts" (OMFG - he was there again! I really think they go every day!). She said she likes social distancing. Gary says he likes it to, up to a point, but he needs fellowship.

The other day, at Walmart, "this girl" pulled up, jumped out of her car, and "went over, huggin' all over" someone who worked there. "Where's the social distancin' there, where's the six foot rule there?"

Gary, shut up and listen for a second (I know - futile request). Deep in your memory (or possibly from the other day), can't you hear your mother's voice saying "And if everyone else jumped off a bridge, does that mean it's OK for you to do it, too?"

Nope - for Gary, the sight of one person endangering others at a store is a sign that the Governor is anti-church and trying to change our entire government. Logic - not a thing for Gary.

"If we don't get God back on our side, I'm gonna tell ya what's gonna happen - we're gonna lose ever'thin'. And don't look for America ever to be the same agin."

"Men and women were burnt to stakes and beat, and heads cut off, and thangs happen" to earn the rights the Constitution gives Gary to go to church, preach on street corners, and pass out tracts.   

He prays and ends with "in Jesus' name (loud tooth suck) Amen."

 

Edited by thoughtful
riffle
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Thoughtful,

As promised I've developed a Brain Cell O-Meter that tracks your posts for declining brain cell activity following your posts about Gary and his magical kingdom of stupidity.  I don't know how you do it, there is no decline.  In fact you appear to show increasing brain cell activity.  Someone much smarter than me or my cat needs to study this and find out exactly what's going on.  You are an enigma within a paradox within just plain doesn't make any sense.

Most people who watch these videos in their entirety would have been institutionalized by now.  What is your secret??

Carol

Edited by Carol
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Why is he going to Walmart and Lowes all the time? Isn’t Lowes a furniture store? Does he just lurk there in the hope of managing to pass tracts or does he just like reporting back on how many people are there?

While Becky has my sympathy at being married to him, the fact is she is more intelligent than him and chooses to be with him in this lifestyle so she’s as bad as all his other enablers.

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3 minutes ago, Idlewild said:

Why is he going to Walmart and Lowes all the time? Isn’t Lowes a furniture store? Does he just lurk there in the hope of managing to pass tracts or does he just like reporting back on how many people are there?

While Becky has my sympathy at being married to him, the fact is she is more intelligent than him and chooses to be with him in this lifestyle so she’s as bad as all his other enablers.

Lowes is a big-box hardware and appliance store like Home Depot. Lumber, plumbing and electrical supplies, a garden center, paint, tools, etc. Anything you might need for home improvement.

Which makes it way more baffling that Gary is going there all the time. You kind of need a HOME to be doing that sort of thing.

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I wonder if Becky suffers from any many is better than no man syndrome.

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