Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 18

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"White Women White House"

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The highlight of Chris Cuomo’s and Don Lemon’s individual shows on CNN is when one show leads into the next. These two guys truly are friends as they josh about the news, go at each other a little bit, and make each other laugh. It’s not as good as when Andrew Cuomo goes on his brother Chris’ show, but it’s good. Last night’s handoff was very interesting.

Chris ended his show on the news that Donald Trump refuses to have a portrait unveiling for President Barack Obama in the White House. For President Obama’s part, that’s a huge relief.

It’s a tradition that goes way back. Presidents have done it for their predecessors, even when they’re of a different party. President Obama did it for President George W. Bush. President Bill Clinton did it for President George H. W. Bush, a man he had a brutal campaign against.

American presidents are in an exclusive club. I believe they don’t see each other as Republicans and Democrats after they leave the office and view each other more as presidents. Presidents often ask former presidents for advice because there are very few people who have been in their shoes. Donald Trump refuses to do that. He insults former presidents. He believes he’s better, greater, and smarter than any of them and he’s cleaning up after all of them while taking credit for their accomplishments. If Donald Trump had succeeded President Abraham Lincoln, he would have taken credit for the Emancipation Proclamation. Of course, if Trump had succeeded Lincoln, there would have been a lot more questions about the shooter.

None of our living presidents like Donald Trump. Why? Because he’s a vile human being. Future presidents will never ask Donald Trump for advice partly because he’s not someone you want any advice from about anything and…he’s not going to be in the club. Donald Trump has no idea what it’s like to serve as president because he hasn’t acted or worked as president. When a reporter asks him what his plans are about a specific topic, like restarting the economy after the shutdown, he screams it’s a “nasty question.” He doesn’t have plans for the country. Donald Trump only has plans for Donald Trump.

So we have this unveiling situation. A lot of people would say now is not the time for this sort of finger-sandwich type of presentation in the midst of a pandemic. Things are not back to normal yet. Even if these two could tolerate each other, the focus should be on the economy. But, even if things were great right now and Donald Trump hadn’t destroyed the economy President Obama had left him…there would still be this issue.

This brings us back to Chris Cuomo who chastised both presidents, President Obama and Trump, for refusing to play together. This refusal to do the portrait unveiling is viewed by many as the complete death of all bipartisanship and the last casualty of the political divide. Cuomo gave a passionate plea for both presidents to get along…for the sake of the country. Then, he handed it off to Don Lemon.

Don Lemon was still in the process of sitting down when he said, “I wouldn’t go to that thing.” While Cuomo was arguing about bipartisanship and civility, Lemon was saying, “fuck that shit.”

I’m with Don Lemon. I wouldn’t go either.

There were a couple of former friends in town that over the years, I thought we had developed a non-verbal agreement that we never talked to each other. We’d see each other in public and say hi to our mutual friends, but not to each other. We wouldn’t’ have words or start anything…we just wouldn’t talk. I thought it was a great system. It was a well-oiled machine humming along beautifully that wasn’t to be questioned. I really enjoyed not having to say hello to either one of them. Then, one day, one of them said hi. I was like, “What the hell, Fucko?” I thought we had an agreement. Did you forget we don’t like each other, with me especially not liking you? Sheesh! Soon after, the other one came up to me one day as if nothing ever happened between me and his ex-girlfriend and started talking like it was old times. Good god, what’s going on around here? Why is our system breaking down? It was beautiful! It was working for me, I really liked it, and your ex was totally worth it. Anyway, I imagine President Obama feels the same way with Donald Trump. He probably doesn’t want the fake greetings and would definitely not want to go to his house. Yeah, screw that.

If President Obama went to the White House and sat through Donald Trump saying nice things about him, what sort to look would President Obama and Michelle have on their faces? Nobody would buy it. Donald Trump hasn’t just criticized President Obama’s politics. Trump has called President Obama “incompetent.” During President Obama’s term, Donald Trump was a huge advocate of the racist birther campaign that Obama was born in Kenya. Trump said he was sending investigators to find out the truth. We never heard anything else about those investigators, but Donald Trump harped on the birther issue until he ran for president (it disappeared as if it never happened). After he became president, Donald Trump accused President Obama of wiretapping Trump Tower. Now, he says President Obama has committed the “biggest crime in American history.” Maybe President Obama should go to the White House just to ask Donald Trump what that specific crime is because Trump hasn’t told anybody.

On top of all that, Donald Trump is using his racism against President Obama to appeal even more to his racist base in his campaign to be reelected.

Even if Donald Trump never bashed President Obama, it would be unsavory for Obama to partake in some shitshow presentation at the White House after all the vile and inhumane things Trump has said about other people. I don’t think President Obama is being petty at all. It’s Donald Trump who is being petty.

After all, it’s Donald Trump who can’t stop talking about President Obama. When you hate someone so much that you can’t even use the facts but have to make stuff up about them…then they’re living rent-free inside your head. Donald Trump has a huge problem with President Obama.

And what is Donald Trump’s problem with President Obama other than him being of a different party and race than Trump? Donald Trump hates President Obama because President Obama is better than Donald Trump. President Obama is better than Donald Trump in every way. He’s more popular than Donald Trump. He’s smarter than Donald Trump. He’s more accomplished than Donald Trump. He’s better educated than Donald Trump. President Obama won the popular vote…TWICE. Good people like President Obama. Only vile, racist, stupid people like Donald Trump. Donald Trump even has to pay his kids to like him.

It’s like the old joke: If Donald Trump had a dog, he’d have to tie a pork chop around his neck to get the dog to play with him.

And, President Obama is more accomplished than Donald Trump. Even the accomplishments Donald Trump claims belong to President Obama.

And when it comes to the portraits, President Obama’s will be better looking than Donald Trump’s. President Obama gets to go through life as Barack Obama and Donald Trump has to go through life being Donald Trump. And you know what…Donald Trump hates being Donald Trump.

Creative note: Last week, I caught a lot of shit for my “Jogger” cartoon. A newspaper in Tennessee ran it then had to publish a letter from the editor explaining why they ran it and they still respected their conservative community. But even some liberals called me a racist for it. I hate to explain a cartoon, but even after I told a couple of them no, I wasn’t trying to frame President Obama the way racists do, they still insisted I was and had put hidden messages in my cartoon. They acted as though I was some undercover agent sent from 4chan. Obliviously, they have not followed me for years.

But, I don’t worry about those people. I don’t try to change my work for people who can’t understand satire, whether they’re liberal or conservative. And, I don’t care if people accuse me of being a racist because I’m not a racist. Usually, the only people who accuse me of being racist are racists. What I’m saying is, there will probably be more of that generated by this cartoon.

 

[GreyhoundFan]

 

I imagine this is how the briefing for the "stable genius" looked.

 

 

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[FloraKitty35]

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"Blue State, Red State, Corrupt State"

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A couple days ago, I wrote Donald Trump and his administration of goons aren’t even trying to hide his corruption anymore. In firing Inspectors General in the midst of investigations, they don’t even give good reasons. Donald Trump said he fired the guy investigating his Secretary of State Mike Pompeo because he lost the guy’s confidence. Pompeo only defended it by saying he should have been fired long ago and that he didn’t know he was under investigation. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. When it’s the fifth IG fired in five weeks, yeah.

That’s some morbidly obese bullshit.

Now, Donald Trump is threatening to stop all federal funding being sent to states that may not vote for him. That’s not exactly what he said but he’s doing a terrible job of hiding his corrupt intentions.

Michigan and Nevada are upping their plans for mail-in voting in order to decrease the risk of exposing their voters’ lives to the coronavirus. Well, Donald Trump doesn’t give a lick about anyone’s safety and like all Republicans, he realizes the more voters who participate in an election, the worst Republicans fare. The majority of people in this nation vote for Democrats. That’s a fact. Republicans don’t like that fact so they work to prevent people from voting except for the most racist and whitest of us.

Donald Trump tweeted his outrage at Michigan for mailing ballots to all their voters. Dumbass tweeted, “This was done illegally and without authorization by a rogue Secretary of State. I will ask to hold up funding to Michigan if they want to go down this Voter Fraud path!”

Except, that was some morbidly obese lying. Michigan’s Secretary of State mailed “applications” to voters, not ballots. Donald Trump claims what Michigan did is illegal. It’s not. So, two lies in one tweet. Good job, Donald. While explaining this to the press, he dropped another lie in that he was once Man of the Year in Michigan. He was never Man of the Year in Michigan. Maybe he’s confused because he resembles the Michelin Man.

What Donald Trump is doing is threatening to hold a state hostage by denying federal funding…during a pandemic. It’s kinda like holding Ukraine hostage by denying military aid during a war.

He went after Nevada in another tweet saying, “State of Nevada ‘thinks’ that they can send out illegal vote by mail ballots, creating a great Voter Fraud scenario for the State and the U.S. They can’t! If they do, ‘I think’ I can hold up funds to the State. Sorry, but you must not cheat in elections.”

The man who solicited election help from Russia and Ukraine is concerned about cheating in elections.

Trump is very upset over mail-in voting and keeps screaming about voter fraud, even though there isn’t any evidence to support it.

Trump told reporters, “I think just common sense would tell you that massive manipulation can take place. And you do have cases of fraudulent ballots where they actually print them and they give them to people to sign, maybe the same person signs them with different writing, different pens. I don’t know. It’s a lot of things can happen.

Where, when, what? Where have there been “fraudulent” ballots that were “actually printed” then “given to people to sign?” This guy also claimed once that you need an I.D. to purchase cereal.

Donald Trump himself actually voted by mail, sending his ballot to Florida. Maybe he cheated so that’s how he knows it happens. His argument is that he’s “allowed to do it.” His spokesgoon, Kayleigh McEnany, defended his voting my mail by arguing how tough it was for him to leave the White House and go to Florida. I know she’s new on the job but you think she’d have noticed that Donald Trump, before the pandemic, was in Florida playing golf and bilking the government for it every other weekend since he became president (sic). Somebody, please give her the cliff notes.

Funny thing, Republican officeholders in at least 16 states that do not have all-mail elections have encouraged people to vote absentee during the coronavirus pandemic. You haven’t heard Donald Trump go after them yet. But maybe he should.

Donald Trump won Michigan, barely, in 2016. He’s going to lose it in 2020 and he knows it. But, he’s also trailing Joe Biden in other states he won, like Pennsylvania, Ohio, Arizona, Georgia, and his brand new home state, Florida. And you’re going to love this, but he’s only leading Biden by one point in….wait for it….TEXAS!!!! Yeehaw!

Even if Donald Trump doesn’t lose states like Georgia, Florida, Arizona, North Carolina, and Texas, his campaign will have to do some morbidly obese spending in those states.

This is some morbidly obese corruption and they’re not even trying to hide it. The good news is, Trump probably can’t withhold spending to those states, but I’m sure conservative courts and the Republican Senate will do all they can to help him.

Donald Trump doesn’t care about free and fair elections anymore than he cares about the health of Americans during a global pandemic. His only focus with both is on himself. Donald Trump solicited help during the 2016 election from Russia and he got it. He even invited Russians into his campaign HQ. He placed suspected Russian spies on his campaign staff then cried that the government was watching the suspected spies. Now, he’s doing it again, asking foreign governments to meddle in the 2020 election.

A president should want every American eligible to vote casting votes, even those who won’t vote for them. But Donald Trump and Republicans work to gerrymander and suppress. The people who cry that their rights are being robbed because they have to wear a mask don’t give a flying fig about non-white Americans being denied their right to vote. Cry me a morbidly obese river.

Donald Trump is corrupt and Donald Trump lies. At last count, which was in April, Donald Trump had told over 18,000 lies since he became president (sic). That’s a morbidly obese number.

 

[smittykins]

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A couple of days ago, the mango moron was slamming the governor of Virginia, saying the governor was trying to take away second amendment rights and then there would be nobody to guard the potatoes.

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