Tori and Bobby Smith 6: Now with Kade, Kolter, and Charlotte

[HideousGreenShirt]

Yessssss! Another win for those of us who predicted baby Bori. It's sad of course that she's having yet another baby so soon. 

I will admit that I am deeply disappointed she didn't name this baby something as stupid as Kondor. C'mon, Tori, couldn't you at least have spelled it Sharlitt Raynne?

[Seculardaisy]

4 hours ago, Casserole said:

holy cannoli she just gave birth in the last week of March... like a max of six months not pregnant?! mind boggling. 

My son was born in February 2020 and that feels like five seconds ago. I am just feeling normal again and like he’s not an extension of me (less clingy, no breastfeeding any longer, etc.) I cannot imagine being a month or so pregnant already at this stage of postpartum life. Especially 3x in a row. Hopefully one day her body and her mental state have time to rest and isn’t doing this for 20 more kids. (And I don’t mean to say she isn’t mentally stable I just mean that pregnancy and newborns/infants are so taxing on your body and mind, I hope she gives herself a moment of piece one day.

Edited January 19, 2021 by Seculardaisy

[Casserole]

54 minutes ago, Seculardaisy said:

My son was born in February 2020 and that feels like five seconds ago. I am just feeling normal again and like he’s not an extension of me (less clingy, no breastfeeding any longer, etc.) I cannot imagine being a month or so pregnant already at this stage of postpartum life. Especially 3x in a row. Hopefully one day her body and her mental state have time to rest and isn’t doing this for 20 more kids. (And I don’t mean to say she isn’t mentally stable I just mean that pregnancy and newborns/infants are so taxing on your body and mind, I hope she gives herself a moment of piece one day.

right?! I know this spacing happens very commonly, usually unintentionally, because postpartum menstrual cycles can be tricky... but in non-fundies you have the kids you want, planned or accidental, and then explore tube ties and vasectomies or condoms and call it a day. The fact that this is her future for the next 15-20 years... WHEW.

[raayx01]

I bet in three to four more kids Tori will surpass Erin, can't wait for that day.

[AussieKrissy]

6 hours ago, Vivi_music said:

That's what I was gonna say: what? Not Karlotte Raine!

lol a perfect name for a duggar boy as I read that as car lot 

[TuringMachine]

6 hours ago, lumpentheologie said:

Wow that is a lot of small kids. I wonder if she's doing the same horrible sleep training Alyssa is doing. 

Oh god what kind of sleep training is Alyssa doing?

[LillyP]

For a while I've  had a feeling Tori is going to be the Bates with the most kids. She seems the most one to channel her inner Kelly Jo and have a brood. I think Erin was the original clear front runner, I can see Tori surpassing her. Tori doesn't care about appearances, or social media, or being showy...she seems just content to live her life out of the spotlight and pop out babies.

I really don't understand how anyone can have kids back to back. After my first I opted not to do any birth control right away because in the that new mom joy/haze I actually thought maybe I'd have kids close together. Then my good senses came to me, I gave it a little time, and it took me a long time to decide to have kids again. I'm currently pregnant, ironically due in June (maybe it is the hott new month? haha) and our first will be over 3 when this baby is born. My husband started asked for a second a while ago, and I kept telling him no. In fact, for the past year I was firmly in the "one and done" camp. I couldn't imagine wrangling two kids. But I think that's the difference between the average person and a mega family. For starters, I didn't start having kids until my 30's, and I think there's a level of "selfishness" you have when you've spent a long time only having to worry about yourself. Secondly, my hangup was how to manage day to day tasks and still having time for myself - especially since my husband travels a lot of work, often internationally. Not everyone has the luxury of a million family members close by to watch your kids for you!

[LillyP]

6 hours ago, lumpentheologie said:

Wow that is a lot of small kids. I wonder if she's doing the same horrible sleep training Alyssa is doing. 

What method is Alyssa following? Has she said publicly? Sleep training gets a bad rap, but there are plenty of methods out there that aren't horrible or just "cry it out" This isn't just a fundie thing, plenty of people sleep train. We sleep trained our son at 7 months, with the help of a sleep consultant who offers an e-course you can follow along with. Hands down, the best thing we ever did. Is it hard the first couple of nights? Yes. Is there some crying? Yes. But that's because it's change and change is scary. Our son was sleeping through the night within 3 days, and had a VAST improvement on his (almost non-existent naps) because he was over tired. He's now almost 3 and a great sleeper. We will absolutely do it with our next. When it comes to sleep, I'm a huge advocate of gentle sleep training...but just because I do it doesn't mean it's right for everyone. I have many friends who bed-share with their kids and that's just something I would never ever opt to do. It doesn't make them bad for doing it, it just makes us different.

[llucie]

37 minutes ago, LillyP said:

What method is Alyssa following? Has she said publicly? 

She said she uses the babywise method.

[Johannah]

3 hours ago, LillyP said:

What method is Alyssa following? Has she said publicly? Sleep training gets a bad rap, but there are plenty of methods out there that aren't horrible or just "cry it out" This isn't just a fundie thing, plenty of people sleep train. We sleep trained our son at 7 months, with the help of a sleep consultant who offers an e-course you can follow along with. Hands down, the best thing we ever did. Is it hard the first couple of nights? Yes. Is there some crying? Yes. But that's because it's change and change is scary. Our son was sleeping through the night within 3 days, and had a VAST improvement on his (almost non-existent naps) because he was over tired. He's now almost 3 and a great sleeper. We will absolutely do it with our next. When it comes to sleep, I'm a huge advocate of gentle sleep training...but just because I do it doesn't mean it's right for everyone. I have many friends who bed-share with their kids and that's just something I would never ever opt to do. It doesn't make them bad for doing it, it just makes us different.

This is way beyond “normal” sleep training a baby 6 months or older. Babywise advises doing it when they’re newborns. It also regulates when and how much babies can eat. It has been specifically condemned by the American academy of pediatrics for being associated with failure to thrive, low weight gain, and malnutrition in infants.   

[feministxtian]

Baby A is 6 months old. We (collective family we) have started getting her on a sleep schedule. She goes down around 9-ish and now sleeps until 7-ish. The first few nights were HARD!!! And this is a baby who had a full tummy, a dry butt, a cozy, warm bed. She's good now, drifts off shortly after she gets laid down, and sleeps like a rock all night. She's still a tiny thing, 14 pounds at 6 months. But, for the first 6-ish months of her life, she was utterly catered to when it came to sleeping, eating, cuddling, playing. Now, she's learning to play by herself some, to sleep by herself and we're working on the 3 meals a day and 2 snacks thing. She's still nursing a bit, but she isn't really into it anymore because it interferes with her playtime. These days she prefers having a bottle handed to her to drink at her leisure, as the spirit moves her. Solid food is another thing all together...if you don't shovel it in, she will grab the spoon from you. 

I never "sleep trained" my kids either. As far as I know they currently sleep all night (or all day). #2 son didn't sleep all night until he was probably 5-ish. That's years old. He'd get up, play and then go back to bed. This sleep training shit is horrid. Why would you want to listen to a baby cry? I can't stand it. Seriously...Baby A squeaks and there's always SOMEBODY to pick her up. I mean, I can't even stand listening to Sadie cry in her crate in the mornings. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

I'm slightly surprised, because of how fast this is. I feel like a lot of couples are eager to get to two kids, and they slow down after that. So I wasn't necessarily expecting this one so soon. 

Both Bobby and Tori are making these decisions. Bobby is the headship so if he wants to slow down, they probably will. 

Kolter is pronounced the same as Colter, but Charlotte to Karlotte would wreck the pronunciation. 

I hope they slow down after this, but they probably won't. 

[wendy-sparkles]

I'm pretty sure there's an earlier Bates episode where they say Tori will  be one of the ones who will have the most/ could handle the most kids. I think it's interesting how close they are to overtaking the Duggars in numbers of grandchildren - just that it seems like most of the Bates are having lots of kids really fast whereas only Kendra and maybe Joy are for the Duggars. I tried searching Duggar Data for what her prediction was on that score, and the admittedly oldish posts didn't predict they'd overtake till around 2040, whereas it seems like it can only be a couple of years away at most. They've tied the Duggars if Erin and Carlin announce soon (seems v likely to me) without any Duggar announcements. Gil's clearly got his daughters hooked on the quiverfull kool aid far more successfully than Jim Bob has.

[Italiangirl]

I agree the Bates girls seem more marinade in the Quiverfull Kool-Aid than the Duggars, it is interesting because they have lived very similar lives, the only big difference is when both shows started, the Bates girls were older and had seemingly had more time to drink the Kool-Aid and internalizing the teaching. The Duggars had Anna and now Kendra who are popping out kid after kids but the born-in girls seem slower to take the task. Do you think Jb and Michelle are setting, on watching their leafing being erode so easily by the Bates? We know JB is utterly competitive (just look at how he acted at his kid's wedding, and how Joe and the others react when there is a game to win) 

Or the two families aren't so close anymore? We know Carlin and Joy are friends, but other than that it doesn't seem they saw each other often anymore 

[rebeccawriter01]

8 hours ago, wendy-sparkles said:

I'm pretty sure there's an earlier Bates episode where they say Tori will  be one of the ones who will have the most/ could handle the most kids. I think it's interesting how close they are to overtaking the Duggars in numbers of grandchildren - just that it seems like most of the Bates are having lots of kids really fast whereas only Kendra and maybe Joy are for the Duggars. I tried searching Duggar Data for what her prediction was on that score, and the admittedly oldish posts didn't predict they'd overtake till around 2040, whereas it seems like it can only be a couple of years away at most. They've tied the Duggars if Erin and Carlin announce soon (seems v likely to me) without any Duggar announcements. Gil's clearly got his daughters hooked on the quiverfull kool aid far more successfully than Jim Bob has.

I think it was Erin who said Tori would have the most children. She claimed that Tori loved babies and children. I remember thinking that Tori had never really shown any sort of passion for anything other than getting her engagement ring on camera. 

5 hours ago, Italiangirl said:

I agree the Bates girls seem more marinade in the Quiverfull Kool-Aid than the Duggars, it is interesting because they have lived very similar lives, the only big difference is when both shows started, the Bates girls were older and had seemingly had more time to drink the Kool-Aid and internalizing the teaching. The Duggars had Anna and now Kendra who are popping out kid after kids but the born-in girls seem slower to take the task. Do you think Jb and Michelle are setting, on watching their leafing being erode so easily by the Bates? We know JB is utterly competitive (just look at how he acted at his kid's wedding, and how Joe and the others react when there is a game to win) 

Or the two families aren't so close anymore? We know Carlin and Joy are friends, but other than that it doesn't seem they saw each other often anymore 

Lawson, Nathan, Trace, and even Jackson visit the Duggars pretty often according to social media. I don't think they do the big family visits now because of married couples, babies, etc. would make scheduling that a nightmare. Plus with their shows on different channels there is no real way to document it other than social media. I also don't think Gil wants to always be associated with the Duggars in terms of branding. I'm sure from a money perspective he'd rather be the Bates than that other family who hangs out with the Duggars.

[Lgirlrocks]

The Bates would have over taken them if Michael wasn’t having fertility issues. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

I get the feeling we'll get announcements soon from the Duggar women and they will keep having more grandkids. So far they have 19 grandchildren and the Bates have 14. Kendra will bring the Duggars to 20 and Alyssa will bring the Bates to 15. In June the Bates will reach 18 grandchildren thanks to Whitney, Josie, and Tori. The Duggars will still have more grandkids. 

Anna Duggar's kids are less close in age, compared to Tori or Kendra. 

[theotherelise]

I think the reason you see a slowdown after kid two in several couples is that it’s actually hard to find the time, space, and energy for sex. Besides the fact that many women have reduced fertility while breastfeeding, there is typically a natural slow down in joyful availability when you’re covered in spit up and sleep deprived. 
 

YMMV, but if I had a five month old and 20 month old, I’d pick sleep. 

[Lgirlrocks]

6 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

I get the feeling we'll get announcements soon from the Duggar women and they will keep having more grandkids. So far they have 19 grandchildren and the Bates have 14. Kendra will bring the Duggars to 20 and Alyssa will bring the Bates to 15. In June the Bates will reach 18 grandchildren thanks to Whitney, Josie, and Tori. The Duggars will still have more grandkids. 

Anna Duggar's kids are less close in age, compared to Tori or Kendra. 

The Duggar’s also had grand kids before the Bates too. Josh and Anna had at least three maybe four by the time the Bates kids started. The Duggar’s will soon have one more child married then the Bates. It may be hard for them to catch up. 

[raayx01]

2 hours ago, Lgirlrocks said:

The Duggar’s also had grand kids before the Bates too. Josh and Anna had at least three maybe four by the time the Bates kids started. The Duggar’s will soon have one more child married then the Bates. It may be hard for them to catch up. 

But two of the kids and maybe three (lawson) are in relationships, I don't know if Katie and travis will last but I'm pretty sure Nathan and Esther will get married

[Melissa1977]

On 1/20/2021 at 12:49 AM, TuringMachine said:

Oh god what kind of sleep training is Alyssa doing?

Babywise by Ezzo. A "lovely" method that includes not feeding babies at night. It has been shown evidence of malnourished children due to that method and American Pediatrician Academy advice not to use it.

[GuineaPigCourtship]

Boy, for as much as these people claim to love babies they sure don't give any actual indication that they love anything beyond creating them.

[irish_dancing_canadian]

If I ever do have children (I’m 29 and single so let’s see what these next few years bring) I definitely want to space my kids out by 3-4 years between each one (I’d say max amount I would have is 3) because like, I want to really enjoy my children and the stages of life they’re in (oh gosh now I’m sounding like Michelle). For me, what would be perfect is having one child starting uni while the other one would be in high school and then the other one would be in elementary school. Then their moments aren’t shadowing their siblings. I know this doesn’t make sense in writing but I hope someone understands what I mean ?. To pop out kid after kid like how can you truly enjoy each stage of their life and spend that time with them? Don't think you can. 

[TuringMachine]

4 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Babywise by Ezzo. A "lovely" method that includes not feeding babies at night. It has been shown evidence of malnourished children due to that method and American Pediatrician Academy advice not to use it.

That's what Kelly used too, right? 

[Knight of Ni]

23 hours ago, theotherelise said:

YMMV, but if I had a five month old and 20 month old, I’d pick sleep. 

I have a five year old and a five month old and even before the second was born I would sometimes pick sleep.